Edited by Pilate. He kept me from writing a terrible Russian accent, and is also a swell zebra.
Twilight reviewed the scroll of mission notes the princess had given her one last time as a group of pegasi guards prepared the sky chariot for the trip. She was supposed to destroy the mission notes as soon as possible, but she wanted to make sure she had them memorized first.
Okay let's see, first stop is an EAF base on the border, once we arrive I'll meet up with the a platoon from the 5th Infantry, who are already being transferred to Shining's base to join up with the rest of their company, I'll travel with them to avoid suspicion. Once I arrive at the base I'm to report to Shining Armor, my handler. Next, he and I will take a smaller escort out to a safe location where I will cast the spell. I will then create a full report for the princess, make my way back to Equestria, and when all is said and done, be back home within five days.
Satisfied that she had it all down pat, and more than a little excited, she incinerated the scroll with flash of her horn. Apparently she was just in time because in the very next moment, one of the gold armored guards from the chariot approached her, giving a quick salute.
"We're ready to depart ma'am, just give the word."
"Alright then, I see no need to wait." Twilight entered the chariot, lacking much of the worry that had been bothering her earlier that same day. The princess had already sent letters away to Spike and the other Elements, letting them know that Twilight would be gone for a few days, a week at most, and that she would remain safe. With that comforting thought in mind, Twilight braced herself as the chariot took off. The chariot itself was comfortable enough, being from Canterlot, but no amount of pillows could negate the metal plates and leatherweave still covering her body. Resigning herself to a lack of comfort, Twilight just sat on her haunches. After a couple minutes of boredom, she slung the crossbow off her back and began to examine it, as she had been in a bit of a hurry when she equipped herself earlier.
It appeared to be in perfect condition, almost as if it had never been used, looking closer Twilight began to notice the small details. The slightly more rough texture on the grip, the lack of scratches where the firing lever met the wood, and the final piece of evidence, the scope was completely uncalibrated, still at factory settings. Her eyes widened as she came to a realization, this was a crossbow that had never been used, it would have been fired once after construction, but that was it. Smiling, she got to work.
First, she calibrated the sights. It would be impossible to know without test firing, but based on her weapon maintenance scores at The Academy, and barring any failure of the crossbow's range-increasing enchantments, it would now be accurate up to 400 meters. Next she worked the firing lever several times, along with applying a bit of oil from a tool bag in the chariot, to remove the bit of resistance it was providing. She removed the string before bending and releasing the firing arms to test that they could for sure withstand the pressure of repeated use. Satisfied that it would be suitable should she ever need it, she restrung it, and briefly entertained the idea of claiming the weapon for herself permanently by carving a name into it. This was a right she had as an operative, that is until she remembered that it was a bit of an unspoken rule that operatives would only 'name and claim' a weapon, as it was called, after they had carried said weapon through at least one battle. Something she never intended to do. Sighing at the prospect of somepony else ruining her hard work when she returned it, Twilight holstered the crossbow over her shoulder once again.
When she looked over the side of the chariot Twilight could see that they had flown out of sight of Canterlot. It was a strange feeling. She had spent her entire life in Canterlot and, more recently, Ponyville. This was by a large margin the furthest she had ever been from the Equestrian capital. Far below them she could see occasional villages pass by beneath the speeding chariot, but mostly it was just a vast forest of trees. The trees were different from the ones she had seen around home, she recognized them from her books as coniferous evergreens. Twilight had seen similar trees around Hearths-Warming each year, but those were nothing compared to what she was staring at now. The tops of the tree's extended hundreds of feet from the forest floor, seemingly attempting to touch the sky itself, and nearly looking like they would succeed. She couldn't see the trunks lower down on the trees, but she could make an educated guess as to their size, based on their height each one would have to be at least twice as thick as her library tree. The scale of the whole thing was mind boggling, and it occupied her thoughts for a good while.
After a couple of hours of admiring the trees, Twilight was suddenly staring at a grassy field, instead of a forest. She blinked, thinking she had missed something, but when she turned to look behind them she saw it, clear as day. A nearly-perfect straight wall of the massive trees extended to the left and right, all the way to either horizon. The forest had really just ended, there was no thinning out of trees or any gradual change to the landscape, they were just as tall and closely packed right up to the edge. Shaking her head, Twilight glanced forward to reorient herself with the continent. Before and below her was an emerald ocean, stretching as far as the eye could see in every direction, the forest was quickly being left behind, and replaced with yet more rolling plains. There wasn't a single patch of grass that was anything but a perfect green, swaying gently in a light breeze. The sight was far less awe-inspiring than the great forest, but far more relaxing. Twilight found herself enraptured by the endless green far below, almost wishing the chariot would land so that she could lay down in the softness of the field and forget all her troubles in a dreamless slumber.
--{MoW}--
Twilight woke without knowing she had slept. The sun was still up, though it was clearly afternoon now, seeing as it had still been morning when they left, and had been around noon when they encountered the grasslands, she felt she must have slept for a good couple of hours. She realized that she would likely be in a whole new environment by now, and she excitedly looked down below the chariot to see...
Nothing, a whole lot of it. This was different from the calming green nothingness of the grasslands, instead there was just the barest hint of green in the form of scraggly bushes and trees, assaulted on all sides by the brown of cracked dirt and dead grass. Twilight knew this meant they were nearing the desert, and a sense of apprehension began to build in her chest.
Twilight attempted to calm her troubled mind with thoughts of the amazing opportunity she had to try out a new spell, this failed to calm her at all, as it only reminded her of what the spell would eventually be used for. Imagining the trip as a sort of test was no better, only bringing on the further anxiety of possible failure. Finally, she thought of her brother, of not only getting to see him, but getting to talk with him for the first time since his wedding.
The last thought did a lot to calm her, even bringing a smile to her face. She soon realized that the land below held nothing for her to see, and laid back, closing her eyes, unable to sleep again so soon, but able to just relax. It was the voice of one of the pegasi pulling the chariot that caught her attention about an hour later.
"Ma'am, we're approaching the L-Z at Badlands Three, should be landing assured in five."
She sat up straight and popped her joints, stiff from spending all day sitting. She made a quick check of the rank insignia on his armor before speaking, "Thank you corporal."
The pegasi brought the chariot down for a landing in a cleared space at the edge of a large military compound.
Border Outpost Three was colloquially known as the Badlands Outpost—sometimes Badlands Three—due to the terrain. Which, of course, hadn't changed at all since Twilight woke up from her impromptu nap, aside from the fact that the desert was now visible in the distance. The base itself was fairly large, home to about 1,500 ponies full-time, but that was not it's primary purpose. As with the rest of the border outposts, it was used as a layover point for troops going in and out of Zebranistan and, to that end, could hold around 10,000 soldiers temporarily if the need arose. It was also designed as a defense point against Zebran invasion, but that hadn't been a threat in years as Equestrian control extended a fair bit over the border.
It was here that Twilight was to meet up with her escort, a platoon of 50 ponies belonging to the 5th Infantry. More than an escort, they were also her cover, one unicorn moving across the desert would be suspicious, but a platoon traveling to join the rest of their company would be nothing out of the ordinary.
As the chariot touched down, and a small group of soldiers began making their way over toward it, Twilight immediately noticed the differences between soldiers assigned to guard duty, and soldiers on an actual deployment. First and most noticeable was the armor. Where the guard's armor covered very little, and was made of a bright shining gold, field armor was similar to Twilight's, though most were lacking in the more expensive metal plates besides one in the chest, and instead of gold, the leatherweave and metal plate were a mottled camouflage of brown, grey, and tan. The helmets were also different, though to a lesser extent. The only real change was that the colorful plumes on top were removed completely, and they were colored the same as the armor.
Twilight's own armor had been chosen with hiding in the darkness in mind, and for that it would do a good job, even the green metal was dark enough to be nearly black, but now that she would be moving through a desert in the daytime, it would be horribly visible. She decided not to bother getting a new set however, she didn't plan on getting into any conflicts and, if she did, she'd rather have the higher quality armor afforded by her access to the HQ armory than a camouflaged set, any day.
As the group of soldiers approached the landing zone, Twilight saw that two of them were earth ponies, two were pegasi, and the last one was a unicorn, she was the only mare, and walked in the lead, her stride giving off an air of authority that the other four lacked. The chariot lifted off the moment Twilight hopped out, not wanting to attract any more attention. Twilight only had to wait a moment for the small group of ponies to arrive, after which the unicorn stepped up to Twilight. She had a coat of grey that was mostly concealed under the same desert armor the other four wore, her eyes were a deep green, and her tail jet black. Twilight could only assume her mane was the same color as it was hidden underneath a standard issue helmet. Her rank was signified by the insignia on her armor—something Twilight's purposefully lacked—but the mare announced it, anyway.
"I'm Major Imperia, I hold command of Border Outpost 3. I assume you're Lieutenant Sparkle?" The mare's tone was jovial, but it carried an unmistakable air of command with it that made Twilight wonder if that came with the job, or if that's what got her the job. Despite her tone, there was a friendly glint underneath her commanding gaze that looked completely genuine, and brought a small smile to Twilight's face.
Twilight saluted before speaking. "That's me ma'am, I assume you know why I'm here."
Imperia snorted in amusement, "I know as much as the shadowy figures in Canterlot want me to know, which means that I know to stay out of your way. And will you drop the ma'am stuff and the saluting, I know you operative types are technically Lieutenants, but trust me when I say that if I value my job, I'm not gonna be giving you orders."
Twilight looked sheepish as she lowered her hoof. "Heh, thanks," She cleared her throat before continuing. "So you have a platoon from the 5th Infantry here right?"
The grey mare blinked at that. "The 5th? You sure? Well, they’re here at the moment, but they’re shipping out tomorrow so you're a bit late if you needed them for something." The major looked a little apologetic, but mostly confused as to why Twilight would be sent to look for a group that was just leaving.
The purple mare shook her head. "No, that will actually be perfect. Can you just direct me to their commanding officer?"
Imperia shook her head with a light laugh, the sound seeming perfectly natural from her even in full combat armor. "Hey, I know better than to question the motives of an operative. Let me show you to his office, he should be in right now." She then turned around to the ponies that had followed her to the landing zone, and spoke in a harsher, commanding voice. "All of you, report back to your stations," Her tone changed slightly, and Twilight thought she detected a small bit of sarcasm under the still present command. "As far as you know, Lieutenant Sparkle was never here, you know the drill."
The soldiers of a border outpost had experience with things going in and out of Zebranistan that they had 'never seen' so they simply nodded, gave a quick salute, and returned to whatever it was they normally did, rolling their eyes slightly as they turned away.
Major Imperia chuckled a bit before noticing Twilight's confused look. "Oh I hope you don't mind, we see every kind of pony come through here, and after hearing 'you didn't see anything' a hundred times it starts to sound kind of silly." Her face suddenly became completely serious, as did her tone of voice. "My ponies and I may not act like it all the time, but we are trained for this sort of thing. Trust me when I say everypony here is as dependable as it gets."
"Oh I don't mind at all." Twilight was now smiling broadly. "It's refreshing in a way, and honestly I think I prefer it."
"That's good and all, but I wouldn't get used to it if your gonna be dealing with 'Lieutenant Hardflank' himself."
With that mysterious statement, the major switched back to a friendly smile and turned to leave, motioning for Twilight to follow her. As they walked through the base Twilight let her mind wander to idle observation of her surroundings. They passed a large mess hall, an armory, and several barracks, but the majority of the base was left to her imagination, as the guest officers' quarters were located on the side of the base nearest Equestria and the landing zone. She did manage to catch a glimpse of the headquarters, slightly similar to the Canterlot HQ in that it looked nearly indestructible. This one was four stories, however, and showed signs of combat wear and tear from before the war had moved deep into Zebranistan. None of the damage was anything more than cosmetic, or it would have been repaired.
Besides the buildings, ponies could be seen everywhere. The whole facility seemed to have a fairly relaxed feel, as far as military outposts go. This was not a training facility, and while ponies could still be seen keeping in top physical shape through drills or sparring, most were simply living their lives, relaxing with a book, playing cards, even napping. Despite all this, Twilight knew just how fast everypony could react if they were needed for something, or if they were ever attacked.
Finally, they arrived at a small building in a row of small buildings, each one was about the size of a very small cabin, and built to house one commanding officer, serving as their quarters, and their office. The major led Twilight to one that was indistinguishable from the rest, before nodding toward the door.
"Well, here you are. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go forget you were ever here." She said with clear sarcasm, before smirking and walking away, clearly unphased at this point by black operations and the like. Twilight watched Major Imperia leave, chuckling at the nonchalance with which she carried herself. As somepony less polite than Twilight might say, the major simply didn't give a crap. Smiling slightly, Twilight turned back to the quarters in front of her, stepped up to the door, and knocked three times. The answer came swiftly in the form of a single word from a decidedly sharp male voice.
"Enter."
Twilight blinked, whoever this pony was, he was already presenting a stark contrast to the laid-back Imperia. Wiping the smile from her face in favor of professional neutrality, she opened the door and stepped inside. The room itself was organized to the last detail, everything was text-book arranged, from the completely straight grey curtains, to the completely clean grey carpeting. There was a door to the right, presumably leading to the living area of the quarters as this appeared to be an office. The room had a distinct lack of furniture, there was a pair of well-maintained potted plants sat in the rear corners, and a basic desk sitting with perfect symmetry directly across from the door. Paperwork covered most of the desk, but it was immediately clear that it was all organized and arranged perfectly, also notable was the lack of a second chair on Twilight’s side of the desk, forcing her to stand in front of it. Sitting in the one chair, and working on the paperwork, was a unicorn stallion who looked to be in his early forties. His coat was a dark red, and his close-cropped mane a bright white, his eyes remained a mystery as he had yet to so much as glance up from the apparently fascinating paper on the desk before him.
"Hello, it's nice to meet you I'll be—"
She was cut off by a deadpan voice, that carried enough of an edge to brook no argument.
"State your name, rank, and intention."
Twilight blinked, and stared at the stallion bemusedly for a second before realizing she hadn't answered. She decided to simply answer his questions directly, as that seemed like what he would want, but she couldn't help feeling a little mischievous after hanging around for Imperia even a few minutes.
"Twilight Sparkle, lieutenant," She smirked. "...Fun?"
That got his attention, finally tearing his gaze away from his work he looked up at Twilight, who was stifling a giggle. His eyes, as it turned out, were a piercing crimson, far brighter than his coat color, and the look in them was cold, calculating, and commanding, lacking any hint of the joy that the major's eyes contained.
"Ah yes, you're that operative that's making my platoon move out 3 days earlier than planned." His tone wasn't mocking or insulting, it was completely flat and professional, and yet it still managed to give Twilight the impression that he was judging her. "Not that I can complain about being ahead of schedule. Frankly I think the lazy cretins have been given more than enough of a rest as it is."
His lack of emotional inflection threw Twilight off for a moment before she shook her head and managed a reply. "Um, yes that's me... I guess. Sorry, I never got your name. I was only told to report to the commanding officer of the platoon."
"Yes, I suppose introductions are in order." He rose swiftly, standing perfectly straight and shaking hooves with Twilight. "I am Lieutenant Striker, 5th Infantry, pleased to make your acquaintance." He didn't sound pleased at all, in fact he sounded like he was reciting lines, his tone changed as he continued, but only enough to indicate that he was actually speaking, as opposed to parroting some protocol. "No need to introduce yourself, I don't need the headache of unnecessary cloak and dagger nonsense. Just talk to Sergeant Shield, I assigned his squad to take you in for the trip."
With that, Striker sat back down and continued to go over paperwork. Twilight blinked several times before grasping the situation. Finally realizing that she was apparently done here, she slowly backed out of the building, shaking her head after closing the door, before turning and walking away.
I guess it's time to find this 'Sergeant Shield'. It would help if I had any idea where to—
All of a sudden her eyes went wide as she came to a realization, causing her to stop in her tracks and laugh loudly.
"Hah! 'Lieutenant Hardflank', I just got that."
--{MoW}--
Twilight wandered around for 15 minutes before she finally gave up and decided to ask for help. She approached the nearest pony, a mare who was working on fixing the wheel of some kind of carriage. The carriage was of the type that she rode in to the Grand Galloping Gala in that it was enclosed, and land based. The similarities ended there however, this vehicle was covered in metal armor, and had what looked like half of a large upside-down metal tub attached to the front, the whole thing was painted in a desert camouflage. It had six wheels, four on the rear half, and two more on the metal shell-thing attached to the front. There was even a large auto-crossbow mounted to the top of the carriage, which a pony could stand on their hind-legs—sticking through a hole in the roof—to operate.
Twilight was so enamored by the war-carriage that she didn't realize she was staring until the mare cleared her throat loudly, causing Twilight to jump in surprise, and turn her head towards the source of the noise.
The mare had a teal coat, a short cropped blonde mane, and light blue eyes. She was a well muscled earth pony, and her coat and armor were splotched all over with grease and grime from repairing the strange vehicle, the lack of insignia on her armor indicated her as a private.
"Heh, sorry about that." Her pleasant, feminine voice was unexpected from her rough appearance. "I didn't expect anypony to be so enamored by an APC." She giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof. "My name's Elbow Grease, but you can call me Ellie, just don't call me 'Private Grease' that sounds gross for some reason." She introduced herself with a friendly tone, lacking any of the formality of Lieutenant Striker as she offered her hoof.
Twilight gladly shook her hoof before responding, "Nice to meet you. I'm Twilight Sparkle, just Twilight is fine. So what did you say this thing was called?" She finished with a gesture towards the metal monster next to them.
This elicited another giggle from Ellie, "You've never seen an APC? Damn, I thought everypony would have seen one by now." Seeing that Twilight was still completely confused, she decided to just explain it, switching to a lecturing tone. "The Armored Pony Carriage, or APC for short, is a solution to moving ponies long distances across land while keeping them in relative safety. The rear half is the transport portion, a regular carriage fitted with armor and, in most cases, a heavy weapon on the roof." She walked around to the front now, with Twilight close behind. "The front part, or 'cab', allows the ponies pulling the carriage to remain under cover, it has a harness for five ponies inside, two pairs with a single pony in front of them giving directions, and watching for obstacles through the windshield." Elbow Grease banged on said windshield with a forehoof several times, dropping her lecturing tone. "This baby is made of spell-reinforced glass, it's probably just as strong as the metal it's set in at this point."
Twilight was in awe, she had noticed the metal hatch for ponies to enter the cab, but now that she knew its purpose it made so much more sense. She did have a question however. "This is impressive and everything, but it looks awfully heavy, how in Equestria are 5 ponies supposed to pull this whole thing?"
Ellie looked at Twilight as if she had just asked her where foals came from, after staring for a second she replied in a single word, "Magic." Twilight gave her an incredulous look but just as she opened her mouth to object, the teal mare continued. "The whole thing's got enchantments all over it, you can put 5 ponies in the back of it, and fill all the storage compartments to the top, and still pull it all day with no more effort than pulling a regular carriage. Seriously though, how did you manage to not see one of these things yet? They've been around more than a year."
At this point Twilight remembered why she was there. "Oh, actually this is my first deployment. I guess I forgot to ask my question when I saw this... thing" She waved both forehooves at the APC. "Anyway, I'm looking for a Sergeant Shield, you wouldn't happen to know where he was would you?"
Ellie blinked in surprise at the name. "Well sure, I know exactly where he is. I can take you to him if you want, I'm basically done here anyway, I was just tweaking at this point."
Twilight smiled at the prospect of finally ending her search. "That would be great, thanks."
Ellie walked over to a tool bag that Twilight hadn't noticed before, placed all her tools inside it, and slung the strap over her back. This done, she nodded for Twilight to follow, and walked away. As Twilight pulled up beside her, Ellie glanced at the purple mare's crossbow and extravagant combat-knife, but made no comment. They walked in silence for a while, before seeing four stallions, all with the same short-cut manestyles, sitting at a table, playing cards.
Elbow Grease led Twilight over to the table, and addressed a brown earth pony stallion. "Hey sarge, got somepony who was looking for you. She's new here apparently, found her all the way over by the vehicle depot."
The stallion got up and turned to face them, his mane was burgundy, and his eyes were a brown so dark they were nearly black, his armor indicated him as a sergeant. "Why hello there," When he spoke, it was with just a slight twang, less than what Applejack had, but similar. "I'm Sergeant Shield, though I suspect y'knew that, seeing as you were lookin' for me and all. Just who exactly do I have the pleasure of addressing?"
"I'm Lieutenant Twilight Sparkle—"
Before she could get any further, she was cut off by the sounds of four ponies scrambling to a salute, the three still at the table almost falling over in the attempt. The only pony not tripping over their own hooves was Sergeant Shield himself, who simply shook his head in amusement at his squad's antics as he calmly, and with perfect form, saluted his superior.
"I'm so sorry for not saluting earlier, I had no idea." Elbow Grease blurted out, her ears folded back.
Twilight, for her part, was attempting to stifle a giggle at their reactions. "It's fine Ellie, at ease all of you." They did as she said, though none but Shield looked relaxed at all in the presence of an officer. "As I was saying, I'm Lieutenant Twilight Sparkle, and I've been temporarily assigned to your squad for the duration of the trip to join the rest of the 5th Infantry, after which I'll be departing for my own mission."
Sergeant Shield spoke up quickly. "Well Lieutenant Sparkle—"
"Call me Twilight, please."
"Well Twilight, this little band of miscreants, plus myself, make up 4th Squad. Though most just call us 'Bomb Squad' on account of having the best damn conventional explosives expert in the whole platoon. You've already met Ellie there, she operates the heavy weapons, and if if anything gets broke, she can fix it, simple as that. Now as for the rest of you, be polite for once and introduce yourselves."
The first one to speak was a yellow unicorn stallion with a black mane and orange eyes, he wasn't wearing any armor, giving Twilight a view of his cutie mark, a stylized explosion. "Very well, I am called Blast Radius." His deep voice had a fairly strong Stalliongrad accent, but he was still understandable. "I am the explosives expert, do not be too impressed with Sarge's words, being the best in platoon would be more impressive if platoon had more than one conventional explosives expert." He barked a hearty laugh. "Too many ponies are trusting these 'Spell Matrix'. Bah, give me composition B any day, then I will show you real explosion." Following that statement, he sat down at the table in huff crossing his forelegs across his chest.
Next was another unicorn, less muscular than the others Twilight had seen. He had a pair of round glasses on, his coat was white, and his mane and eyes were both blood red. His armor covered his cutie mark, but it had a red cross painted on the chest piece. "I guess I'm next then." When he spoke, it was with a refined sounding Trottingham accent. "My name is Pear Seed, funny that, grew up on a pear farm, actually hate pears, just call me Doc, or Doctor, Doc is shorter though, saves time." His ranting would probably give Pinkie a run for her money, and he wasn't done yet. "I virtually never use my name actually, I've even considered just introducing myself as a doctor and nothing more, could be confusing though, I can just imagine how that would go: 'Hello there I'm the doctor.' 'A doctor you say? Doctor wh—"
He was cut off by the voice of Sergeant Shield. "Yes, I think that's good enough for an introduction Doc. Why don't you go... sit down or something." Doc reluctantly returned to his seat at the table.
"Guess that just leaves me." The speaker was an earth pony stallion, his coat was jet black, rare enough in itself, more surprising was the fact that his mane and even his eyes matched perfectly, not like Shield's dark brown eyes, these eyes were completely black and never left the crossbow on Twilight's back. Despite that, what was most disconcerting was his voice: low, gravelly, and very dangerous. "Name's Clear Shot. Call me Shot, squad's designated sniper. Not sure about you, new blood’s always trouble. Like your 'bow though, look forward to seeing it in action." He returned to the table neglecting to mention a rank, but Twilight noted that his armor indicated him as a corporal.
Once introductions were done, Sergeant Shield and Ellie joined the rest at the table, and Twilight turned to Blast Radius with a question. "I'm sorry, but what was your rank anyway? For that matter, shouldn't you be wearing armor with your rank on it?"
Blast Radius laughed before answering. "I am a private, same as most of squad, but if I wore ‘the suit’ all the time, things would be very uncomfortable for everypony involved." Seeing Twilight's confused expression, he continued. "I get special suit of armor for dealing with any Zebran bombs we come across, it is very big, and very unpleasant for relaxing in, you will see it tomorrow when we depart, then you will understand."
"I think that's enough serious talk for now." Shield spoke up as he began to shuffle a deck of cards, an impressive feat for an earth pony. "Why don't ya join us for a game of cards?"
Everypony at the table looked at her expectantly, and she caved under the pressure. "Alright," She sat down next to Ellie, across from Shield. "I don't know how to play cards, but I'm up for learning anything." She began to smile, partially at the prospect of new knowledge, but mostly because she was beginning to enjoy the company of these ponies. They were extremely welcoming, and Twilight appreciated that to no end.
"Well then, let's start with something easy." Shield then went on to explain the rules of 'poker' to Twilight, or it may have been called 'hold em' she wasn't quite sure. It seemed simple enough, she had to use her cards in conjunction with the cards in the middle to form a combination worth enough points to ensure victory over the combinations formed by the other ponies. That wasn’t quite how Shield explained it, but it’s what she took away from it.
Finished in his explanation, Shield dealt them each 2 cards. "No betting for now guys, let's give the gal a chance to learn the ropes."
Twilight appreciated his concern, but she was confident that with a little mathematics and deductive reasoning, she’d be winning in no time. As everypony looked at their cards, she saw Blast Radius lift something to his mouth in his magic, before lighting it with a match.
"Wait, what?" Twilight's outburst was met with confused stares from everypony present, she decided to clarify her statement. "You smoke!?" Cigarettes were extremely uncommon in Equestria, to the point where this was the first time Twilight had seen one first hoof, that was not what caused her outburst however. "You, the one pony on the squad who spends the most time around highly volatile explosive compounds, also happen to be the one who smokes?" As Twilight's brain began to reboot in an attempt to garner some sense from the situation, Ellie spoke up.
"Actually, we all smoke, it's a habit you'll pick up if you're out here long enough, trust me. Though I must admit that Blast does it far more often than the rest of us." She gave him a scrutinizing glare.
Blast only laughed at Ellie's attempt at intimidation. "You silly ponies worry too much. If a pony is able to smoke around high-explosives,” He smirked, “it only means he knows what he is doing." He punctuated this statement by blowing a smoke ring straight up. "Besides, this tiny ember is nothing worth concern, I would have to touch the burning end of the cigarette directly to explosives to even be in danger."
Twilight calmed down slightly, but now another question came to mind. "Wait, why do you all smoke? You know how bad for you it is right?"
Doc was the first to answer. "Of course we know the risks, but besides the stress-reducing aspect that Blast already mentioned, there's one thing that makes it all worth it." He paused, presumably for dramatic effect, before cracking a grin. "Smoking breaks."
This was met by a chorus of agreement from the rest of the squad, and further clarification by Shield. "Ya see, nopony is gonna deny a smoker their smoke break, it’s like an unwritten rule of sorts, and everypony follows it." He then shifted into an exaggerated tone as he gave an example. "Need some help with moving that gear? Sorry, on a smoke break. Somepony needs to run a message across town? Better look elsewhere, I'm on a smoke break."
Twilight wrinkled her muzzle. "Well that seems awfully lazy"
Shield just gave her an amused grin. "Well, you're free to do all the heavy lifting you want. Don't be askin' me for help though, I'll just be over here," He popped a cigarette into his mouth and lit it, "on my smoke break."
--{MoW}--
They had all agreed not to start the actual betting until Twilight managed to win a hoof. This meant that an hour and a half later, they had yet to bet a single bit. Twilight was pretty sure that she had a good hoof this time. She stared at the cards in her hooves for a moment, tongue stuck out in concentration, before grinning broadly due to having no concept of a poker face. She slapped an ace and queen of hearts on the table.
"Royal flush!" She proclaimed proudly.
Everypony at the table stared at her in disbelief, looking back and forth from the cards in the middle of the table, to the two that she had just set down. Finally, just when Twilight was beginning to think she had done something wrong, Ellie broke the silence.
"Twilight, do you realize what this means?" Twilight looked crestfallen for a moment, thinking she had lost yet again, before Ellie continued. "Congratulations, you’ve just won your first hoof of poker."
That seemed to snap everypony out of it, a loud cheer erupted from the whole table from everypony but Clear Shot, who simply smiled and nodded.
Blast Radius even slapped Twilight on the back hard enough to nearly knock her out of her seat, before loudly proclaiming, "You did well."
"Fucking finally, now we can play for real" Ellie shouted, causing Twilight's ears to fold back against her head. The only time she had heard such language had been from, well it had been from some of the guards in Canterlot actually, but it still made her very uncomfortable.
Sergeant Shield immediately picked up on Twilight's discomfort, turning to Ellie with a scowl on his face. "Hey now, that's not very ladylike you know, just watch your fucking language." Finally he could hold the scowl no more, and burst out laughing as Twilight's face continued to become more and more red. Eventually his laughter quieted, and he smiled apologetically at Twilight. "Sorry 'bout that, It's not often we meet somepony as... sensitive as yourself, and I've been savin' that joke for far too long to let it go to waste."
Twilight smiled a little, but inside she was feeling down. She thought she was fitting in so well, but this was just an example of how different she really was. She wasn’t any good at poker, she didn't smoke, and she couldn't even handle foul language. Normally, she wouldn't want any of those things, but for some reason, she felt compelled to fit in with these ponies, like she needed to prove herself to them. Back in her Canterlot days, she would ignore such compulsions. Since moving to Ponyville, though, she knew just how good it felt to fit in, to have friends.
Twilight realized that while she had been thinking, Shield had reshuffled the deck, and was beginning to deal out cards while announcing the betting rules.
"Alright, the blinds are 10 pence and 20 pence, buy in of 20 bits, we don't have any actual chips so we'll just—"
"I want to try a cigarette!"
Shield didn't miss a beat, turning to face Twilight. "No you don't."
"I do, I've thought about it, and I've decided that since I'm here on a mission anyways, I might need a way to relieve stress." Twilight was banking on the fact that nopony knew that her mission was extremely short, and relatively stress-free.
It paid off when Shield shrugged and nodded to Blast Radius. "Alright then, be a gentlecolt and oblige the gal, would ya Blast?"
Blast nodded and floated one of the small white sticks over to Twilight in his orange magic, she took it in her own aura and floated it to her mouth. There were chuckles around the table, before Doc spoke up from behind a hoof.
"You've got it backwards, love."
Twilight blushed and flipped the cigarette around with her magic, before speaking around it. "So, now what?"
"You are sure you want to do this?" Blast asked as he lit a match. At Twilight's nod he levitated the match under the end of the cigarette in her mouth, speaking a single word command. "Inhale."
Twilight obeyed, and instantly began to regret her decision, as her lungs attempted to remove themselves from her body in protest. When she had finished her violent coughing fit, she heard the snickers around the table and blushed a little. The second time she inhaled, she coughed a little less. Feeling confident in her abilities, she sat up straight, struck a sophisticated pose, and inhaled once more, coughing only lightly.
"Gentlecolts."
Her success was met by a light applause, and a cheer from Ellie. Twilight smiled genuinely, she was becoming a real army pony now, she knew she could never keep this lifestyle up for long, but it felt good to fit in, and it was only for a few days, when she went home she could return to normal, and this would just become another experience in her increasingly interesting life. They returned to cards after that little distraction, Twilight eventually managed to smoke the whole cigarette but she was far less successful at the actual card game, managing to lose every hand, along with most of her coin purse, before they finished. She hadn't really needed the bits anyway, but everypony gave them back after the game, saying they felt bad keeping them on her first time. Even Clear Shot, who didn't strike Twilight as a considerate pony, gave back what he'd won from her.
"Your first time, losing expected. Not one to bet on a foregone conclusion." He smiled in a strangely friendly manner. "You're fun though. Look forward to next time, we'll play for keeps."
Looking at the position of the sun, they all realized that it was finally time for the evening meal. The squad began to move off towards a mess hall while Twilight stood dejectedly by the card table, kicking at the dirt with a forehoof.
Doc was the first one to notice she hadn't followed. "You will be joining us, won't you? I hope you realize that you're an honorary Bomb Squad member now, for which I do apologize."
At this Twilight beamed and galloped to join the rest of the group on the walk to the mess hall.
I'm so lucky to have found friends like these out here. Oh, I can't wait to tell the girls all about them.
They stopped by the barracks to drop off their weapons and armor, Twilight was given a bunk next to the rest of the squad, and she placed all of her gear in the locker next to it, even her graduation knife, leaving her completely bare, but for her dog tags, the relief she felt at leaving behind all that weight was second only to the relief of exposing her coat to the air once again after spending all day in armor.
After dropping everything off, they reached the mess hall in short order, stepping through the double doors, and into a large room crowded with ponies. Shield turned to Twilight, speaking a little louder to be heard over the din of ponies talking.
"Why don'cha go find us a table, we'll grab you somethin' to eat."
Twilight nodded, and left the group in search of a decent seating arrangement. She found the perfect spot, a secluded table in a quiet corner, not too crowded or loud. Hardly believing her good luck, Twilight went over to the table and stood next to it, not sitting down yet, as she wanted the rest of the squad to be able to spot her.
As she waited for her new found friends, she observed the ponies around the room. Most were out of their armor in this more relaxed environment, talking and laughing with their squad-mates. There were too many ponies here to be just from the platoon Twilight was traveling with, while platoons contained around 50 ponies each, there were more than 3 times that number eating here now. This mess hall was one specifically for visiting troops as well, bringing Twilight to wonder who was going into Zebranistan, and who was going home.
She spotted the squad in the line of ponies getting food, they were almost at the front now. Moments later, they were on their way over with trays of food, Doc levitated two trays in a red aura next to him. Twilight waved them over to the table and sat down, they arrived quickly, Doc setting one of his trays in front of Twilight. Everypony had a meal of hay fries and beans, except Doc who had just the hay fries.
"Where are your beans?" Twilight asked innocently.
The entire table went silent, everypony staring at Doc who in turn was glaring at Twilight.
Doc spoke in a dangerous tone that she had never heard from him before. "Beans are evil. Bad, bad beans."
After that, everypony let out a breath, and returned to their meals as if nothing had happened. Seeing this, Twilight shrugged it off and joined them. The food really wasn't bad, it was better than she could cook in any case. She had never considered herself good at cooking, but for some reason she expected army food to be terrible.
Twilight noticed that nopony was talking, so she decided to try to facilitate conversation. "So... anypony know any jokes?"
Everypony stopped eating to look around the table, Twilight silently hoped she wouldn't have to be the one to tell a joke, as her jokes tended to kill a party's mood faster than Rarity when she’d been drinking too much. Just when she was preparing to break out the one about the genie and the pianist, the last pony she expected to spoke up.
"I heard a joke once," The low gravelly voice could belong to only one pony, Clear Shot leaned forward in his seat as he spoke with no mirth in his voice whatsoever.
"Stallion goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. The great clown Ponyacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up.' Stallion bursts into tears. Says, 'But doctor... I am Ponyacci.'" He cracked a little half-smile, the most amusement Twilight had ever seen out of him, before leaning back in his seat and speaking in the same even tone. "Good joke."
"No offense mate, but that was dreadful," Doc said, staring at at Clear Shot.
The jet black pony grumbled, and folded his forelegs across his chest. "Don't see anypony else telling joke. What about you Sarge? You got one?"
Sergeant Shield looked up from his meal to find all eyes on him, he quickly swallowed his mouthful of food before shooting Clear Shot a dirty look. Twilight was under the impression that those two had known each other the longest, so judging by the smirk on Clear Shot's face, Shield did not, in fact, know any jokes.
"Uh, yeah I know jokes." The brown earth pony looked around the table, his tone full of false bravado. "Hey Shot, uh... knock knock."
Clear Shot's smirk only grew, knowing that the sergeant had nowhere to go with this, "Who's there?"
"Fuck you!"
Clear Shot blinked in surprise, that was not the punchline he had been expecting. The table was silent again, but only for a stunned second, before the silence was broken by the sound of a snicker, followed by a snort, and finally raucous laughter. Everypony stared at the source of the noise, a purple unicorn attempting to stay in her seat while clutching her sides in some sort of laughing fit. Before long, her mirth spread to the whole table, and everypony was laughing at Shield's terrible joke. Even Clear Shot let out a little chuckle at the absurdity of it all.
The conversation picked up from that point, mostly it involved Twilight telling of her life back in Ponyville. She talked of Pinkie Pie's parties, of Applejack's farm, of Rainbow's stunts and Rarity's dresses, and of Fluttershy's cottage with all her animal friends. It felt good to remember her friends, but it felt even better to be sharing her past experiences with new friends. Before anypony knew it, the sun was beginning to drop behind the horizon, and they occupied the only in-use table in the mess hall.
As Twilight finished her explanation of the Pinkie Promise, Shield spoke, "Well I must say, this Ponyville of yours sounds like a mighty interesting place. I think I may just have to pay ya a visit when my tour ends."
Twilight smiled brightly at him, "I'd like that a lot." She wasn't sure why, but the prospect of Shield coming to visit really did make her happy. She felt like she couldn't wait to introduce him to her friends, to show them how nice he was, how handsome he—
Whoa whoa whoa! Let's pull the emergency brakes on that train of thought. Where did that even come from? Well, I suppose he is handsome by traditional standards, but I've known him for a day, that's not nearly long enough to form a crush. Even if he has been nothing but nice, and caring, and funny, and strong.
She realized that she was still staring at the object of her thoughts while grinning like an idiot, while the conversation continued around them. She blushed and turned away quickly, as she did she could have sworn she saw Shield doing the same. After reprimanding her traitorous mind, Twilight was able to steer her thoughts in a more wholesome direction, but just as she was about to rejoin the conversation, Shield cleared his throat.
"So anyway, I think it's about time we all bunked down for the night, we've got an early start and a long day tomorrow."
Without a word, the whole squad got up in an orderly fashion, and filed out of the mess hall before Twilight could even get out of her seat. She sat alone at the table for a moment, impressed by their efficiency, before being startled by a voice from behind.
"You look like you could use somepony to walk ya’ home."
She turned around to see that the voice belonged to a smirking Sergeant Shield. Twilight quickly repressed any rogue thoughts that popped into her head at the sight of him.
"My my, what a gentlecolt," she responded in a joking tone.
Shield chuckled, and simply offered her a hoof, which she gladly used to help her stand from the table. Once she was standing, Shield turned around and opened the door for her. Switching to a comically exaggerated version of his own country accent.
"Come along now little lady, the sun's goin' down in these here parts, but ah'll get'cha home safely."
They both shared a laugh at his antics, before falling into companionable silence as they exited the building, emerging into the base, lit only by the last gasp of the evening's dying light. They walked in silence for a few minutes before Twilight decided to ask a question that had been bothering her since meeting the burgundy-maned pony next to her.
"You know I've been wondering, 'Shield' really sounds like a second name to me, is it really your full name?"
Shield sighed before turning to look at her, his face held a contemplative look for a minute, as if he was having a hard time coming to a decision, but finally he smiled warmly at her, before speaking.
"Yeah, the rest of the squad figured that out pretty quick too. Ever since then, they've been needling me for my first name, but I've never told a one of 'em." He winked at Twilight before continuing. "But I can never turn down a pretty mare." Twilight blushed at the compliment, and Shield sighed, "It's Jeffery."
Twilight stopped in her tracks, staring at the sergeant as he continued for another couple steps before stopping and turning around to face her. Before she even had a chance to process this, he spoke to her again.
"I know what you're thinkin' 'how in Equestria does a pony by the name of Shield get saddled with Jeffery as a first name?', well sit down and I'll tell ya."
Twilight managed to obey his command, after taking a moment to recover from the shock, she sat down on the dirt, Sergeant Shield sitting before her, facing her.
"Well ya see, I come from a whole family of guards, not just army ponies mind you, but Celestia's personal guards, the real throne room deal. My daddy was named Steadfast Shield, my granddaddy was named Adamant Shield, and even my great-granddaddy was Celestia's personal guard Bright Shield. Now when my momma found out she was pregnant, they had a name all ready for if it was a son." He made a grand gesture with his forehooves. "'Stalwart Shield', the next in a long and honorable line of great ponies. My parents hadn't counted on twins." His ears folded back against his head as he studied the ground by his forehooves.
"I was born 3 minutes after my brother, but that was three minutes too late for my parents. They already had their perfect son, and I was just 'the other one' they couldn't even be bothered to think up a decent name for." He sighed heavily, "At least they got what they wanted, Stalwart Shield is probably guarding the throne room right now, while I'm out here, about leave for an enemy country, and the last letter I received from my folks was two years ago, telling me that Stalwart had been accepted into the guard."
Shield's shoulders began to shake, just when Twilight was about to try to comfort him, the last sound she would have expected came from him. It started as a little chuckle, but in moments he was practically rolling on the ground laughing. Twilight was stunned, but soon joined him, as she had been holding back giggles ever since hearing his name.
The sun had gone down some time during his story, but they still sat there for a couple minutes, laughing in the middle of the road, as the stars twinkled overhead. Finally, Shield found the breath to speak.
"Heh, I have a fucking stupid name."
Twilight giggled once more. "Yes, but it's part of your charm." She blushed profusely upon realizing what she had just said, staring wide-eyed at Shield.
The earth pony cleared his throat to break the awkward silence, "Yes well, I think we should be getting to bed, we're probably leaving at sun-up tomorrow, and it's a full day’s trot at least."
Twilight simply nodded, intent on getting to bed and ending her session of stumbling from one blush-inducing moment to the next. The remainder of the walk was short, and it passed with only a little small talk. Once they arrived at the barracks that the squad had been assigned to, they both went completely silent so as not to wake the already sleeping ponies. Twilight slipped stealthily into her bunk; it was nowhere near as comfortable as her mattress at home, but it really wasn't all that bad.
As she lay there, she thought of the other ponies in the squad, she felt safe in their presence, they had been in danger before, and they were there to watch over her. She thought of Shield, refusing to think of his first name, for fear of laughing. She would have to make sure he wasn't joking about visiting her in Ponyville when he got off tour. She had never experienced romance before, but unless her books were failing her—something they never did—she was in a prime position to pursue a romantic relationship with another pony.
Despite how terrifying that prospect was to her, she couldn't help but feel excited. That night, sleep came easily to Twilight.