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// Fly me to the Moon 
// Story: I Blame You 
// by Whitestrake 
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	“I think he's taking the news well.” Twilight had been watching Taylor run around town for the past six hours, gathering seemingly useless supplies. Given the human's penchant for horrendously complicated plans ans borderline suicidal risks, he may have been building a world ending bomb. “And your mom's coming to Ponyville?”

“Yes, it was quite the surprise.” Chrysalis sat next to the librarian, cloaked in an unneeded disguise. She wouldn't have told the Element of anything that even seemed remotely dangerous, though she was aware that anyone as powerful and conniving as her mother could never be taken as honest. Princess Celestia had been made aware of the Matron's impending visit, and would be carefully monitoring Taylor's thoughts for any sign of attack. It went without saying the amount of firepower the princess could bring down if needed. “Mama could be arriving anytime now, or maybe she's already here.”

“And you call your mother mama?” Neither magic user knew why Rainbow Dash was sitting with them. Chrysalis herself hadn't known the daredevil was even capable of sitting still for more than twenty minutes. “You're like a hundred years old!”

“Eighty, which is comparable to your age in my species’s eyes.” This drew a look from Twilight. The librarian knew about the relatively long lifespan insect queens had compared to their brood, but she was unaware that the same applied to the changelings. The number also hinted at a centuries-long expectancy, and the lavender unicorn was overcome with a feeling of insignificance she hadn't felt since learning of Celestia's immortality. “Mom's over twelve-hundred, so she'll be passing the title of Grand Matron off soon.”

“Congratulations.” Twilight obviously had no idea what being given the position meant, but Chrysalis had hope that she wouldn't be chosen. When the bookish unicorn noticed the flat look she was receiving, she quickly retracted her praise. Luckily, there was no time for the dethroned queen to elaborate on the concept as Taylor carried a number of metal sheets in his home's general direction.

“I think the big guy's turning the house into another tank.” While Dash's statement was impossible given technological constrains, the three females made their way to the homestead.

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I had cracked. That was the simplest solution, really. After spending so much time in land filled with magic ponies, my sanity took a leave of absence. This may have been good, but very, very bad. If Leviathan and I could take Karapass by surprise, we might just stand a chance. Because yes, I was terrified by the very thought of coming face to face with the exalted queen.

“What in Equestria are you doing?” Twilight must have been talking about the impromptu spider holes I’d been digging in the yard. With sod on top of the lids, they were just as concealed as any hiding spot the Japanese used in the Second World War.

“Entrenching my position.” Could she not see that? Was she ignorant of the obvious necessity that earthen defenses carried? Regardless, the lavender pony grabbed my shovel before I could start on the spike pit.

“I've never seen you freak out this much.” I really wanted my shovel back. Chrysalis and Dash just stood there, watching Twilight effectively sabotage my attempts at self-defense. I started this project and I would see it through to the end. Besides, I already buried Leviathan in its own ramped pit for ambushing the Grand Matron when she arrived. That obviously assumed she wasn't already here, or disguised as one of the ponies and very close to me, or hadn't seen my preparations. My plan actually had a lot of holes, come to think of it.

“I thought only dogs dug this much.” Chrysalis obviously wasn't too happy about the complete annihilation of the front yard, or the backyard, or the side yards. In case you hadn't figured it out, I'd torn the landscape to shit. But all the holes were seamlessly covered by new sod, so only a trained eye would be able to see the traps. The complete lack of one hill was noticeable, but only if the viewer was familiar with the area. “Seriously, how did you do this in six hours?”

“You've never read The Great Escape, have you?” Great book, really, give it a read sometime if you haven't already done so. The three mares looked between themselves, trying to figure out what I meant. Of all the books to end up on Equus, not a single copy seemed to have survived crossing over, but at least there were plenty of other gems. Why the hell was I rambling? Oh, right, I was just using a book written by a member of the RAF about his stint in the Luftwaffe-run POW camp as an excuse to dig pits in my friend's yard. “Nevermind, I doubt you'd understand everything going on without a passing knowledge of human history.”

“Twilight, he's acting worse than you did that time you were late writing to the princess.” Oh yeah, I remembered that episode, too bad none of the ponies knew that they were entertainment in our world. That sort of thing would have been fun, a lot of fun, really. At the mention of her decent into madness, Twilight's look soured, but quickly returned to the stern look she'd used on me in the past whenever I'd do something without her permission, or when she'd expressly told me not to do it.

“This actually happens a lot.” Chrysalis did have a point. During the time we'd been living together with Trixie, I'd forgotten to eat a number of times, and gone days without sleep, all from my obsession with fully repairing Leviathan. Yet, I had done almost everything technological constraints would allow, so there was little reason for me to worry about having the massive death machine ready for battle. Oh yeah, besides the literal grandmother of all changelings coming to pay me a visit, but, you know, that's fine.

“He gonna be alright?” Dash had never actually seen me crack, so this was a new experience for her. Was she at the hospital when Celestia read my mind? No, I don't think so, so this was definitely her first time.

“Yeah, he just needs some sleep.” The familiar tingle of changeling magic enveloped me as Chrysalis lifted me off the ground. As much as I hated the thought of being carried around, my inner lazyass was overjoyed that I wouldn't have to use stairs. The crownless queen looked at the two ponies one last time before walking towards the moderately-sized abode. “We can catch up when this whole thing blows over, alright?”

“Of course, take all the time you need.” I had the feeling half of Ponyville was going to flee for the hills as soon as Rainbow or Twilight let the secret slip. If one of them let the cat out of the bag, that is.

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While everyone felt some measure of guilt about what happened in the Borderlands, Jay had a wonderful coping mechanism. Through denial, he was able to live a relatively normal life, far above the mental anguish he was certain permeated his friends' lives. That sounded a bit callous, but life was about toughening up. For the flautist, it was hard to believe how different he was from his old self on Earth, but such is the ever-changing dynamic of the human condition.

The teen was actually going to hang out in town for a while, but decided against it when he saw Taylor carrying enough metal to build a fallout shelter. It was safe to say the honorary human would be staying with the Apple Family until the coast cleared. Besides, Applebloom and her friends were starting to grow on him, so it wasn't too hard on his end. Besides, there was sure to be something he could d at the farm to pass the time; or maybe he could figure out what to do with his cut from the Zebrica Deal. Maybe he'd do something special with the cash, who knows?

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Extra – Blood From a Stone
[Date: Unknown][Time: Unknown][Error Connecting to Local Servers]

They'd finally done it. After months of searching and hoping, Jay and Taylor had finally recovered the near-forgotten FTL gun and laptop receiver. There was much sadness among their group of friends, but it was clear that they did not belong on Equus. With Princess Celestia's blessing, the two teen's ripped another hole in the fabric of reality, purposefully this time, and rode the interdimensional superhighway back to their destination. This was surprisingly simple, Taylor had equated to matter merely having the tendency to return to its point of origin on the web of realities.

“You realize what is said was complete bullshit, right?” The hooded teenager and his friend sat in his truck as it swam on the currents of space and time, blissfully hoping to return to their homes. Sure, they would miss their adventures in Equestria, but all good things must come to an end some time.

“I was hoping you would wait until after we'd reached home to say it, though.” Right as Jay finished, a hole in hyperspace miraculously opened, and the Chevrolet safely crashed into the arid dust that awaited them. That should be taken as losing the front axle and burying the front end halfway in the dirt.

“Ow, what did we hit?” That voice sounded familiar as it filter through a smashed window. Taylor reached through the rear windshield and pulled up the weather tarp he kept in the back. Lyra Heartstrings and Trixie Lulamoon sheepishly looked up from their hiding spot. “We're in trouble, aren't we?”

“Oh yeah, and as soon as I can get home, I'm sending you guys back to Equestria.” The two humans did their best to climb out of the semi-buried vehicle, but had to use the unicorns' help to escape the cab. With the electronics strapped to their backs, the four looked for any landmarks in the barren wasteland.

“Uh, Taylor, I think you need to see this.” Jay offered his friend his glasses, knowing full-well he was nearsighted. Thankfully their vision needs were similar enough that they almost shared a prescription. The larger teen looked through his friend's specs, hoping to see a gas station or some such thing in the desert. Instead, he saw something horrifying on a deep level.

In the distance, a half-rotted billboard asked viewers to Build Mass With Sass!