Chapter 6: Tougher Than You Think
Rainbow Dash had had all night to sleep on her dilemma, and in the morning the answer had become clear to her. Rarity was an expert in social etiquette. If she was okay with cuddling with Rainbow Dash, then it was okay to cuddle with friends, end of story.
With that in mind, Rainbow Dash raced from her home to the Carousel Boutique, hoping that Rarity wasn’t busy with a client or working on a massive order. It was hard for the white unicorn to find any free time. Even Rainbow Dash, who had way too much time on her hooves, understood this.
So it was with some nervousness that Rainbow Dash knocked on Rarity’s door. She heard Rarity say “Coming!” from what sounded like the top floor of the boutique, which meant she was probably working on an order. She opened the door confidently with her magic, and then quaked when she saw who was waiting at the threshold.
“Oh, R-Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said, eyes shifting nervously as her voice stuttered. “What are you doing here so early in the morning?”
“I was kind of hoping to ask you something, if you were free,” Rainbow Dash said. Rarity could feel her heart racing at the proximity of her friend, and out of fear she was almost tempted to send Rainbow Dash away. Come now, Rarity, she thought, you are the Element of Generosity. You must make time for your friend.
“Of course, dear,” Rarity said. “Come in.” Rainbow Dash followed Rarity inside the boutique, which was haphazardly arranged, revealing that Rarity was in the middle of an order.
“Are you sure you’re not busy?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I can always come back another time.”
“I’m never too busy for my friends,” Rarity said. Especially not for you…
“Okay…well, I was hoping to ask you about something that happened to me yesterday,” Rainbow Dash said. “I figured you would be the pony to go to for social advice.”
“Yes, dear, I’d say you’ve come to the right place,” Rarity said. “If you wouldn’t mind just following me upstairs, I’m in the middle of making a dress for a very important client.”
“Sure,” Rainbow Dash said, her heart starting to fall. Though for some reason she was choosing not to admit it, Rarity was clearly busy, and Rainbow Dash felt as though she were intruding. Still, she followed Rarity upstairs into her workroom. It was as messy as the bottom floor of the boutique, but on one of the mannequins sat some beautiful fabric that Rainbow Dash was convinced would become an exquisite dress. Rarity was at the sewing machine stitching the next layer of the dress together.
“Go on, darling, what was it you wanted to ask me?” Rarity asked.
“Well, it’s about something I’ve been trying with my friends recently. Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy all went for it, but AJ reamed me out about it and now I don’t know what to think.”
“What was it you were trying?” Rarity asked, not even looking at Rainbow Dash as she focused on her stitching. Stimulated by her work, she forgot to be nervous around her friend.
“Well, I was sort of…cuddling with them,” Rainbow Dash admitted, relieved that it was the last time she would ever have to do so.
“Cuddling?” Rarity said, stopping her stitching and turning around. She didn’t quite understand what Rainbow Dash met, as was made clear by the puzzled look on her face. Rainbow Dash took a deep breath and started to explain.
“What we did was we went onto the bed and held each other while we took naps.”
“Oh my…” Rarity said, her mind immediately wandering to a fantasy of Rainbow Dash cuddling with her under the covers of her large bed. The thought brought back her nervousness, and she was glad she had turned away from her stitching, because the way she was shaking the stitch would surely have not been properly aligned.
“I was just wondering if you thought it was okay for friends to do that,” Rainbow Dash said. Rarity stared at Rainbow Dash, lost in her own train of thought, and did not respond to the pegasus’s implied question.
“Oh, I see,” Rainbow Dash said. “I guess it is weird then. Sorry I brought it up.”
“What? Oh, hold on, Rainbow dear,” Rarity said. “I’m sorry, what you said stirred something inside me and I completely forgot to respond! Forgive me for leading you astray.”
“So, it is okay? Because Applejack told me it was weird, and you know Applejack, she wouldn’t lie about anything, so—”
“Applejack is misguided,” Rarity said. “I suspect it is because of her agrarian upbringing. Rugged ponies like her aren’t the type to want to cuddle with anypony. Let me ask you something, Rainbow Dash. When you tried it with Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, did it feel wrong to you?” Rainbow Dash thought back to the past few days, and all of the time she had spent with her friends just holding each other. A peaceful, serene feeling developed in her stomach, and she smiled.
“No, if anything it felt really…right,” Rainbow Dash said, unable to elaborate further on the feeling she was experiencing.
“Then there’s your answer,” Rarity said. “Different friends have different boundaries and different levels of intimacy. Applejack just isn’t the type to cuddle, and that’s okay for her. I suspect it made you feel insecure, though.”
“It sure did,” Rainbow Dash said. “I felt like what I had been doing was wrong.”
“She shouldn’t have been so judgmental and so blunt,” Rarity said. “Her Element compels her to speak her mind, and sometimes her honesty can be quite brutal. Just know that it’s really up to you to decide what’s right and what’s wrong, not somepony else.”
“Thanks, Rarity,” Rainbow Dash said. “I’m feeling a whole lot better now. Well, I can see that you’re really busy, so I should probably get going.” Rainbow Dash was looking to leave because she had finally realized something. When Rarity had been staring at her, apparently lost in thought, Rainbow Dash had sensed a strong yearning, a desire that Rainbow Dash herself had felt only a few times in her life. Suspecting the worst, Rainbow Dash didn’t want to be around Rarity giving her false hope or allowing her an opportunity to make some kind of move. Before Rainbow Dash could leave, however, Rarity spoke up.
“If you don’t mind, Rainbow Dash, I have a question for you,” she said. Rainbow Dash wished she had left faster, because she thought she knew what was coming.
“What is it, Rarity?” Rainbow Dash asked through gritted teeth.
“You said you’ve cuddled with Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy, and it seems you asked Applejack to try it as well.”
Here it comes, Rainbow Dash thought.
“Why haven’t you asked me?” Rarity finished.
And there it is, Rainbow Dash said to herself. Rainbow Dash painted on a fake smile and chuckled.
“Well, I was going to ask, but you looked really busy and I didn’t want to take up your valuable time.” Rainbow Dash had certainly felt this way before she had realized Rarity had a crush on her, but now she was doing everything she can to avoid physical intimacy with her.
“Rainbow Dash, this dress doesn’t need to be finished until the end of the month. I have plenty of time for that later.” There it was. That hunger in Rarity’s eyes. How could Rainbow Dash have not noticed it sooner? Was Rarity even aware how strongly she was coming on to her?
“Well, I, uh…I think we’re moving a big storm system into Ponyville today, so I’ve got to get going to take care of that…” Rainbow Dash lied, hoping to get out of Carousel Boutique in any way she could.
“But you just said you were going to ask me. Why would you ask if you were so busy?” Rarity asked. It was Rainbow Dash’s turn to glance around nervously.
“I uh…” Rainbow Dash said, before sighing and looking at Rarity seriously. “Look. I didn’t want to have to bring it up, but here it is. There’s something funny going on between us, and it’s kind of scaring me, so I want to make sure we clear this up.” Rarity’s eyes lit up, which was not the reaction Rainbow Dash had wanted. She had wanted to bring Rarity back down to Earth, not buoy her spirits with false hope.
Does Rainbow Dash feel the same way I do? Rarity asked herself. Is that what she’s talking about?
“Well, R-Rainbow Dash, o-of course I don’t w-want anything funny to be going on between us, so I’m willing to clear things up with you.”
“Are you sure, Rarity? This might be tougher than you think.”
“I’m ready. You can ask me anything.”
“All right,” Rainbow Dash said, taking a deep breath. But did she want to bring this up now, so soon after figuring it out? The answer to that was yes; Rainbow Dash was not one to leave things hanging for more than they needed to be. It was better to get this out in the open so they could deal with it, wasn’t it?
“Is something wrong, Rainbow Dash?” Rarity asked, looking concerned for her puzzled friend.
“I’m just not sure how to bring this up,” Rainbow Dash said. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” Rarity’s heart sank. That didn’t sound like a Rainbow Dash who had affection for her. That sounded like… Don’t even think about that, Rarity told herself.
“I’d rather you just say it, darling. We won’t know how I will react until I hear it.”
“Okay, here goes…” Rainbow Dash said, taking another deep breath. “Do you have a…crush on me?”
How did she find out? Rarity asked herself. Her face held a look of shock as she started to stare at Rainbow Dash again. What was the best response? If she told her how she felt, there was a chance that Rainbow Dash would reciprocate, but there was a much likelier chance that she would just want to remain friends. Maybe that’s why she didn’t ask me to cuddle with her, Rarity thought. She doesn’t want to lead me on.
So the only thing that was left to do was to lie to Rainbow Dash, tell her there was nothing of the sort going on. Then she wouldn’t get her heart broken.
“No, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity said. “I…don’t have feelings for you.”
“Huh?” Rainbow Dash asked. Rarity looked at her sternly.
“I don’t have a crush on you,” Rarity said.
“Then what is your deal?” Rainbow Dash blurted out, alarming Rarity.
“I’m quite sure I don’t know what you mean, darling,” Rarity said.
“I mean lately when I’ve been talking to you you’ll stutter or trip over something. You’re always shifting your eyes around, you avoid looking at me, it’s like you’re afraid of me or something! And just a little while ago, you were looking at me like you were Spike and I was an ice cream sundae. And you’re telling me no, you don’t have a crush on me. So why are you acting so funny around me, huh? Can you answer that?” Rarity was so taken aback that tears started to form in her eyes. When Rainbow Dash saw them, she started feeling guilty.
“Oh, Rarity, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Rainbow Dash said.
“I’m not crying,” Rarity said stubbornly, wiping her eyes. “I just have allergies.” Rainbow Dash was about to shout at her again, but thought better of it.
“I don’t know how to answer you,” Rarity said, which was at least partly honest. “I’ve been like that with everypony, constantly afraid I’m going to say something foolish or insult them. It’s starting to alarm me, to tell you the truth. Whenever I go to sleep, I constantly imagine scenarios in which I anger somepony and they never want to see me again. I start to get a cold sweat and I wake up frightened. So I suppose that’s why I’ve been acting strangely around you.” Rarity had embellished much of what she said, but she did have a fear of hurting somepony’s feelings and sometimes she did have nightmares about it. That wasn’t the cause of her nervousness around Rainbow Dash, but it was an absolutely real phenomenon.
“Wow, Rarity, I’m really sorry,” Rainbow Dash said. “I didn’t mean to get mad at you. You must think I’m such an idiot, thinking you had a crush on me.”
“No, I can see where you might think that,” Rarity said.
“Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Yes, you can cuddle with me like you did with your other friends,” Rarity said, “and I won’t take no for an answer. Besides, I might sleep more soundly with a friend so close.” A part of Rarity felt terrible for manipulating Rainbow Dash like this, but it was muted by her desire to be close to her.
“Okay, I guess you got me,” Rainbow Dash said. She followed Rarity into her bedroom and got situated in the massive bed. Rainbow Dash slid next to Rarity and let the white unicorn place her hooves around her.
“Ah, now this is lovely, don’t you think?” Rarity asked.
“Yeah, it is pretty nice,” Rainbow Dash said. “Good night, Rarity.”
“Good night, Rainbow Dash.”