“I despise today.” Pinkamena Diane Pie broods in her bed. Her hair is curled and mangled as she awakes from her slumber. Some of her hair curls around her pink horn. On her nightstand sits a small calendar with a day cut out. That day is today, the 15th of July, a Saturday. “Why can’t I sleep through today?” Pinkamena curls up in her covers and closes her eyes once again… as her alarm goes off. Pinkamena sighs in disbelief. Of course that would happen. Pinkamena pushes her covers off and slams her hoof down on the alarm. “Please, Celestia, let them be dead.” Pinkamena levitates her brush, fixing her bed mane. She brushes her hair completely straight, with not a single curl.
Pinkamena slowly trots down the stairs. She turns at the bottom and goes into her kitchen. There she is met by a table, covered with food and a notecard in the middle. The note reads:
“MORNING BIRTHDAY GIRL, WE COOKED THIS BEFORE GOING TO WORK. WE WILL HAVE A PARTY LATER FOR YOU. JUST THE THREE OF US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Pinkamena flips through the 17 other notecards below the first, all covered in exclamation points. Finally the 18th card revealed who wrote the notes:
-Pinkie Pie & Surprise.
Pinkamena crumbled the paper and through it into the trash. “I told them not to have a party. I hate them.” Pinkamena ate the food prepared for her by her roommates. As she was eating, she thought about how to kill time. Pinkamena cleared the table and cleaned the dishes. Then she went out into Ponyville.
“STOPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Pinkamena stops in place and saw a white pegasus coming straight at her. “SURPRISE!” Surprise landed and proceeded to laugh on the ground.
“… You are so original.” Pinkamena tried to pass the pegasus.
“No, Pinkie and I are shopping for you. STAY!” Pinkamena glared at Surprise. Surprise backed off from the glare of death.
“Nice try Gloomy.” Pinkie Pie jumped from the roof of their house and toppled Pinkamena. Surprise joined the pile and played with the pink earth pony.
“Now you go in.” Surprise and Pinkie threw Pinkamena back into the house. Once they entered, they bolted the door and walked into the kitchen and placed 3 bags onto the table. Surprise flew up and hung a banner on the wall. Pinkie Pie trotted into the living room and sat on the coach.
“Pinkie, can you help me with this…?” Surprise turned to see Pinkamena sitting in front of the stairs glaring at Surprise. “Where did she go?”
“SURPRISE!” Pinkie popped out of the nearby air vent next to Surprise. Surprise screamed and fell to the ground laughing.
“Why must you ruin all forms of logic and scientific facts?” Pinkamena moved to the table and took a seat.
“Pinkamena, what do you mean?” Pinkie’s body popped out of the air vent completely.
“You walked into the living room, then teleports to the air vent, you baffle all scientists.”
“But you teleport?” Pinkie smiled.
“I’M A UNICORN, I CAN TELEPORT WITH MAGIC!” Pinkamena growls at Pinkie Pie.
“So you want a reason?” Pinkamena nods. “Follow me!” Surprise and Pinkamena follow Pinkie Pie into the living room. Pinkie Pie opens the door of a closet to show a wormhole.
“……………?” Pinkamena stands there, her eyes wide. “What is this?”
“My newest wormhole that goes from here to the kitchen isn’t he cute?” Surprise rolled on the floor laughing with Pinkie Pie as they stared at Pinkamena’s expression. One word baffled Pinkamena, “newest”.
“You have more, don’t you?” Pinkamena turned and sat on the couch.
“Of course, that’s how I get around. That is also why I have eye patches and balls riddled around Ponyville.” Pinkie Pie opened another door leading to a secondary basement. As the three reached the bottom, Pinkie Pie flipped on the lights. All Pinkamena and Surprise could see were balls and eye patches. On the back wall was a giant wormhole. “That’s Helper, one of my oldest wormholes. Then, of course, there’s Party.”
“Who’s Party?” Surprise played with some of the balls lying around.
“The wormhole that follows me around, wherever I am, she’s there.” Pinkamena trotted away.
“Pinkie Pie… how?” Pinkamena sat on the couch, staring at the door that led to the “baby wormhole”.
“SCIENCE!” Pinkie Pie laughed manically. “No matter it’s party time!” Pinkie Pie picked up Pinkamena and dragged her into the kitchen.
“Have some cake.” Surprise handed Pinkamena the knife to cut the cake. Pinkamena stopped and looked at the knife.
“Hey Pinkie?”
“Yeah, Gloomy?’
“Don’t scream.” Pinkamena stabbed Pinkie Pie with the knife.
“WHAT…WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?” Surprise backed away.
“Surprise.” Pinkamena then stabbed Surprise. She cut the cake with the bloodstained knife. As she ate the golden blood cake, she looked at the corpses. “Better clean this up…after cake.” Pinkamena finished her cake and cleaned the blade……
Pinkamena’s mind wondered back to reality.
“I don’t feel like cleaning that up.” Surprise and Pinkie looked at Pinkamena.
“You okay, you haven’t moved for 20 minutes?” Surprise sat at the table.
“Nothing, I’m fine.” Pinkamena sighed and cut the cake.
“Doesn’t taste the same.” She ate the golden cake, wishing she had the topping of Surprise and Pinkie’s blood.
“PRESENTS TIME!” Surprise jumped with Pinkie Pie. They pulled out 2 gift boxes and presented them to Pinkamena. Pinkamena reached for the box that Surprise had, but Pinkie Pie swatted her hand. As Pinkamena turned to Pinkie, Pinkie swiftly threw a party hat on Pinkamena’s head.
Pinkamena sighed and opened Pinkie’s present. Pinkie’s present was a television.
“You said you wanted one.” Pinkie smiled calmly.
“… I thought we agreed on a spendy limit?” Surprise glared down Pinkie, who shrugged. “Well, I followed the agreed spendy limit and got you a calendar and that book you wanted.” Pinkamena was filled with joy, so she stopped glaring and just stared at the two.
“Thank you.” Pinkie Pie grabbed Pinkamena and Surprise and plopped them both in front of the kitchen wall. She grabbed her camera and set the timer. Surprise grabbed a party favor and hugged Pinkamena. Pinkie Pie grabbed Pinkamena’s face and forced a smile. *snap*
“Good night.” Pinkamena shivered and trotted upstairs.
“How did it come out?” Surprise started chowing down on cake.
“Look!” Pinkie Squeed.
“Let’s make this our hearth’s warming eve picture this year.” Surprise smiled.
