//------------------------------// // Chapter 7: Yamatoshy // Story: Of Archon Toilets and Bioballs // by MiniPsyker //------------------------------// "Listen up!" Twilight raised her voice at the ponies, standing over the bridge with Spike. "Smoke is spreading over all of Equestria." At her notice, everyone raised their heads and looked at the sky, seeing a pitch black cloud of smoke looming over. "But don't worry, I've just received a letter from Princess Celestia informing me that it's not coming from a fire. It's coming from a dragon." The crowd gasped at the announcement that a dragon was near, and began talking among themselves. "A dragoon?!" Mike yelled, surfacing from the small river and placing his arms on the earth for support. "It's been years since I've last seen one of those four-legged mechanized bastards." "I said dragon, not dragoon." Twilight had gotten used to the kind of stuff that Mike ended up doing, so she didn't even care about him being in the river. Much less caring about what 'Dragoon' meant. "Shame... And here I was thinking a protoss managed to get into this world." "Proto... Anyways!! Mike, we need to go back and we'll discuss with the girls what to do next." "Fine..." "What in the name of all things cinnamon swirled is a full-grown dragon doing here in Equestria?" Applejack questioned. "Sleeping." Twilight answered, only for everyone else to question even further. "According to Princess Celestia, he's taking a nap. His snoring is what's causing all this smoke." "He should really see a doctor. That doesn't sound healthy at all." Pinkie Pie said. "Well, at least he's not snoring fire. What are we meant to do about it?" Rarity questioned. "I'll tell you what we're meant to do. Give him the boot! Take that." Rainbow Dash kicked a wooden decoration. "And that!" She flew in for another strike, only for Twilight to levitate the statue and make Rainbow Dash miss. She, however, ended up ramming her hoof into Mike's visor, breaking it and knocking him unconscious. "We need to encourage him to take a nap somewhere else. Princess Celestia has given us this mission, and we must not fail. If we do, Equestria will be covered in smoke for the next one hundred years." Twilight explained. "Hmph. Talk about getting your beauty sleep." Rarity sighed. "All right everypony, I need you to gather supplies quickly. We've got a long journey ahead of us. Let's meet back here in less than an hour." "Why don't we just nuke that bastard from orbit?" Mike sighed, pulling Rainbow Dash aside and taking the broken shards out of his visor. Time later, after the mane 6 finished their semi-cliched team buildup presentation... Mike kicked Twilight's door open and walked out. "Oh, right, let's have some sort of 'preparation phase' for a dragon. Come on, want me to put the A-team theme for you all too? God damn..." "All right girls, listen up." Twilight began speaking. "I'm mapping out the fastest route, but we've all got to keep a good pace if we expect to make it up the mountain by nightfall. The dragon is in that cave at the very to--" "Ride the lightning!!" A thor said, followed by marines, marauders, ghosts and vikings walking behind him, with the earth shaking with their steps. "Let's go, Hell waits for no one!!" Mike yelled, standing on top of the Thor. Not inside, but directly on top outside over the cockpit. "That fella seems... Excited 'bout this." Applejack stated. "Mike..." Twilight sighed. She was more worried about Mike causing more damage than the dragon now. Time later, Mike, his forces, and the mane 6 began travelling to the mountain. Mike had to take a detour since his forces apparently didn't know how to climb a cliff, with Applejack and Fluttershy following them once Fluttershy became petrified out of fright. Once they caught up with the group, they kept on walking. Also, a small detail: The Thor was too big for the path and fell to its death. What a shame. They reached a division they had to cross. Several marines and marauders fell to their deaths since no one knew how to jump. A viking tried crossing, almost fell but got stuck into the division, creating some sort of bridge which everyone crossed. Then it fell to its death. What a shame. At this point Mike was blasting the A-team tune out of another viking's stereo. They reached an avalache zone. The walked on, until they crossed a tree which Rainbow Dash shook the branches by accident, making a bunch of leaves fall. They fell on Fluttershy and she screamed, only for everything to shake violently. They prepared for an avalanche and braced for impact, but it was the steps of the terran force with Mike leading them the source of the semi-earthquake. Then thanks to that an avalanche of rocks began. Half the terran force died that instant while the others escaped. What a shame. Then they reached the cave. "So many losses to replenish I almost depleted my mineral and vespene gas stockpiles..." Mike sighed. "...We're here." Twilight stated. "Rainbow Dash, you'll use your wings to clear the smoke." "Mm-hmm." "Rarity and Pinkie Pie, you'll create a diversion to distract the dragon if things get a little hairy in there." Pinkie Pie took out a squeaky toy, only for Rarity to look at her with a strange expression. "Applejack, you're ready with the apples in case he decides to attack. Mike... Don't do anything." "Boo..." "But it shouldn't come to that, because Fluttershy will do what she needs to do to wake him up, and between the two of us, we should be able to get him to understand why he needs to go. Is everypony ready?" Everyone affirmed. Except for Fluttershy, who was scared beyond imagination. "Okay then, we're goin' in." Twilight, alone, walked into the cave. Fluttershy had not followed her. "So, what is the best way to wake up a sleeping dragon without upsetting him? Fluttershy? Oh, come on!" She walked outside and dug Fluttershy's head out of the ground. "Come on! We have to do this! We have to do this! Now! Every second longer that dragon sleeps is another acre of Equestria that is covered in smoke!" "I-- I-- I can't go in the cave." Everyone sighed in unison. "Oh, great. She's scared of caves now, too." Rainbow Dash complained. "I'm not scared of caves, I'm scared of..." "What's that, sugarcube?" "I'm scared of..." "What?" Twilight asked. "I'm scared of dragons!" "But Fluttershy. You have a wonderful talent dealing with all kinds of animals." "Yes, because they're not dragons." "Oh come on! We've seen you walk right up to a horrible manticore like it was nothing." Rainbow Dash stated. At this moment, Mike was distracted with his own business. Namely looking at his base through his visor. With his cursor, he selected an SCV, moved him into an open space, and ordered him to construct a certain building, a Fusion Core to be precise, while five other SCVs began constructing starports, with tech-lab addons soon following. Once finished, the five starports lit up and began constructing somethin while the Fusion Core also lit up, researching. Mike smiled behind his visor. Then he selected a few medivacs, loaded an unusually big Thor on them, and ordered them to drop it where he was, along with a few reinforcements. "Who called in the fleet?" A voice echoed inside his visor, he knew exactly what it meant, and it was precisely what he expected. At this moment, Rainbow Dash was shot out of the cave like a bowling ball and broke through the others, until she finally struck a rock next to Mike. He raised his visor which revealed he still had his grey dwarven beard with braids, and stared at Rainbow Dash barely conscious. Then he raised his sight to the cave, seeing the dragon already coming out with fury in his eyes, and the remaining four of the mane 6 already frightened beyond imagination. Fluttershy was nowhere in sight. "What did you ponies do now?" Mike sighed. He was not fazed in the slightest. Once he finished, five medivacs with a bigger than usual Thor and reinforcements arrived. "O-okay Mike, you can do what you want now!" Twilight yelled. Mike, calmed as a river and his forces not even caring about anything, walked up to the great thor, climbed it, and entered the open cockpit. "There ain't no unkickable ass when you got Odin." He said before the cockpit closed shut, and the machine being brought to life. The dragon just raised an eyebrow at the sight of the terran force, not expecting to see hundreds upon hundreds of soldiers, machinery, and the giant machine right in front of him. His expression, however, was cut short by the first shot of the Odin to his face, causing him to back off a bit but rise again and begin fighting. Infantry shooting from the ground, vikings surrounding the dragon like vultures and shooting their missiles, and the Odin wrestling the dragon face-to-face with its cannons that could be used like makeshift arms. Fire and brimstone flew from the dragon's mouth engulfing the men below, only for even more to arrive by the mountain road and from the medivacs without end. From the looks of it, it was as if no one had the advantage; an entire army of terrans and they barely managed to keep up a fight. "I've fought probes scarier than you!!" Mike yelled, locked wrestling the dragon while explosions and gunshots deafened everyone. The dragon just stared and grunted before spitting smoke out of its mouth, blinding Mike and kicking him back. "Where's that god damn air support!?" He yelled. He was expecting the cavalry to have arrived already. "That's it, Ghost, nuke it!!" "Target acquired..." A ghost answered, already cloaked with his laser designator pointed at the dragon. A missile of great size was shot off into the sky in the distance where Mike's base was located and flew its way towards the fight. However, just before impact, barely meters away, an explosion threw the Ghost's laser designator off aim and lost balance, falling to the ground. The laser now pointed inside the cave, and the nuke, like a homing boulder, made a ridiculously sharp turn into the cave, blowing up and creating a huge explosion that blew the cave off the mountain. Now the fight took place on the peak of the mountain, seeing as the former peak disappeared entirely. With the cave, so disappeared the dragon's riches, making him infuriate even further and let out a hellish flame that engulfed most if not all of the terrans. Not surprisingly, reinforcements replaced them almost instantly. "I have an announcement..." A voice echoed through Mike's radio. "I am drunk!" That characteristic presentation was obvious. The cavalry had arrived. "What's with all these blinky lights?" "Let's go this way really really fast. If something gets in out way... Shoot it!" In the distance, three giant hulking ships of a size unheard of before were seen, though the fight kept going on. "Nice of you to show up!!" Mike yelled while executing an uppercut on the dragon. "Flying this low always makes me nervous." "You know what to do, shoot this bastard down!" "I am seeing double!! Shoot them both!!" One of the ships affirmed. The three ships now began shooting their entire arsenal at the dragon, only to miss half their shots and end up shooting the terrans too, and breaking part of the mointain itself. "This battlecruiser shoots! It destroys! But wait, it does more..." Another battlecruiser yelled. "Prepare the yamato!" Mike yelled, ejecting from the Odin after taking so much damage from the dragon before blowing up. "The yamato is loaded. And so am I..." "Shoot it!!" At his command, one of the ships charged up the Yamato cannon and positioned itself pointing at the dragon, and finally released the charge. But before it could land, the dragon took flight, making the yamato charge hit the mountain and make a good half of it crumble upon itself. Everyone screamed their way down below, though Mike and the mane 6 remained safe in the half that didn't collapse. "...What do you mean we're out of olives?" A battlecruiser commander spoke to its crew right before the dragon landed right on top of the ship, making it shake violently. "It's a trap! Don't panic, just grab hold of the nearest crew member-- Oh, sorry dear." The dragon began chewing the battlecruiser's armor until it hit a vital structure, making it cause an explosion that in turn caused secondary internal explosions, which soon enough reached the engines, making the battlecruiser slowly but steadily fall like the Hindenburg accident. "We're going down! Stay with the ship, I'm out! Where's my escape pod?!" The dragon jumped from the battlecruiser and landed upon the second, making it shake violently just like the first one. "I lost my hat!" The battlecruiser commander yelled. "Swing around, we'll pick it up!!" "Ah, how exciting!" The third battlecruiser commander yelled before a yamato charge was shot at the dragon, making it fly right towards the mountain and crash-land next to the mane 6 and Mike, who drinking a bottle of Kopru-Cola and watching the spectacle. The dragon stood up with fury in its eyes, but locked sight onto the mane 6 who were already frightened beyond any equestrian or terran limit, with Fluttershy hiding behind a broken rock. She peeked over it only to see her friends already scared, and with anger, she raised her head at the dragon and took flight. "How dare you... How dare you!" She landed directly on top of the dragon's nose. Now, the entire terran force and the two battlecruisers remaining were just staring at what was happening. "Listen here, mister. Just because you're big doesn't mean you get to be a bully. You may have huge teeth, and sharp scales, and snore smoke, and breathe fire. But you do not-- I repeat-- You do not! Hurt! My! Friends! You got that?" The dragon whimpered. "Well?" "...But that rainbow one kicked me..." The dragon stated while pointing at Rainbow Dash. At a moments notice, the entire terran force, be it marines, marauders, ghosts, vikings, the two battlecruisers, Mike himself, and even the wreckage of the Odin gathered up around Rainbow Dash, cocked and aimed their guns at her, with a battlecruiser already charging a yamato cannon. Some were aiming, and other were cracking their knuckles and preparing their guns. Rainbow Dash only stared with a horrifying expression. "And I am very sorry about that." Fluttershy said. Rainbow Dash was desperately flying for her life while every single terran chased her. "But you're bigger than she is, and you should know better. You should also know better than to take a nap where your snoring can become a health hazard to other creatures." "But I--" "Don't you 'but I' me, mister. Now what do you have to say for yourself? ...I said, what do you have to say for yourself?" The dragon whimpered, and not after long, began crying. "There, there. No need to cry. You're not a bad dragon, you just made a bad decision. Now go pack your things. You just need to find a new place to sleep. That's all." "Full attack, all weapons!!" A battlecruiser yelled, shooting everything and the escape pods at Rainbow Dash who could barely dodge them all, with vikings already catching up with her. "Spike, take a letter." Twilight said once reaching her home. "With pleasure." Spike replied, kicking Angel out the window. "Dear Princess Celestia, I am happy to report that the dragon has departed our fair country, and that it was my good friend, Fluttershy, who convinced him to go. This adventure has taught me to never lose faith in your friends. They can be an amazing source of strength, and can help you overcome even your greatest fears. Always your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. And one last thing, I think we won't be seeing any dragons sleeping around here for a good while. Mike has..." She interrupted herself, staring out the window towards the ridiculously damaged mountain which just now fell on itself like Sauron's Eye's tower in Lord of the Rings. "Destroyed that nest completely..."