//------------------------------//
// Not at all, Sir. 
// Story: Somehow, I'm Twilight Sparkle. 
// by Full Tome 
//------------------------------//

I have no idea what my idiot of a self did, but at least he managed to wake us up. Never thought I’d see him as the red coated, green eyed, blond maned pegasus I’d seen, but he did something. For some reason though, my eyes refused to open.

Oh, there they go. Now, I should be able to tell where I am once the morning haze clears up. First thing to hit me is that I am lying on the floor, in a room that has no windows, and doesn’t seem to have a door.

With a small grunt, I forced myself into a sitting position. “The hay?” I ask myself, rubbing the back of my head to try and get rid of that feeling of something pulling my mane. It seems stubborn though, and won’t go away, no matter how hard I rub.

“Wait, where the heck am I?” I say more audibly, finally noticing I’m inside a cottage. “Who the heck are you?!” I ask some old lady at a table, rocking back and forth. She seemed to be staring at a picture that I couldn’t see from my angle.

She turned to me with an amused expression. “Which pony are you today?” She asked curiously, with an air of boredom.

Okay, she seemed to know about the whole ordeal with my personality disorder... Exactly what had I done before? “I, uh...” I started, then shook my head. “I’m sorry, but I believe I asked first.” I stated, still trying to figure out where I was.

“That’s Baba Yaga, the witch who kidnapped us.” I heard from myself. I don’t exactly know how to explain how the thought felt, but I could tell who thought it. “Also, we’re Twilight if she asks, unless she can see through blatant lies.”

“Oh wait, Sorry, I uh...” I started without waiting for her to answer. “Multiple people in one head can lead to memory issues. So uh, Baba Yaga, yes? I’m Twilight.”

“Oh good. We are almost to the New York.” she said, turning back to her little picture frame.

A dull thud rocked the cottage, out of time with the footsteps of the cottage itself.

“Silly mortals.” Yaga chuckled.

“What the heck was that?” I asked, put on edge by the thud.

“Nothing to worry about. Soon we will have parted our ways, I will be free and you will be where you asked me to take you.” She said, shrugging.

“Is this thing dancing or something? I don’t hear any music.” I said quizzically. The lack of music made the timed thumps from the motion of the cottage’s legs seem strange to say the least.

“The cottage is walking. That is how we are traveling; the cottage walks and we wait. Oh, almost there. Any questions before we part ways?” She asked as another, louder thud shook the cabin.

“Just one.” I said, looking around. “How exactly do I get out of here?” I asked, feeling like I’d regret the choice of words.

“And here I thought I was the crazy one.” I heard from some part of my head.

“Do you have a better way to phrase the question?” I thought back, a lick of venom to my thought.

A split second of silence. “Good point!” I heard before an eruption of laughter. I cut the thoughts out from my head at that point.

“Like this! Goodbye, Twilight Sparkle!” With a wave of her hands, and a flash of purple light that felt almost familiar, I was standing on the deck of some kind of ship.

“Hostile!” I dimly heard someone shout, and quickly I was surrounded by sailors with sidearms and SMGs readied and pointed at me.

“State your intentions!” One of them barked.

I let out a frightened squeak as I tried to throw my forehooves above my head, only to fall backward from my lack of experience when it comes to sitting on my hind legs alone.

“The creature is retreating.” Someone said, looking off into the distance. I sat up a little to see what they were talking about, to see a cottage on chicken legs that had turned and was walking away from the vessel.

Judging it be better to stay quiet until prompted again, I slowly turned back to look at the men with guns.

One of them finally looked back to me and sighed. “Weapons down. So, who and what are you, and why did you just appear on our ship?” He was obviously the highest ranking officer in the little gathering, but he gave off the impression that he really didn’t want to be.

I could feel the tension drop as the weapons were put at ease. “A-Asher, Asher Allshouse, sir.” I said, trying to calm down. “Unicorn. I-I’ll be honest, I think Baba Yaga teleported me aboard.” I said, as straight-faced as I could muster after just having had a small group of sailors point guns at me.

The officer sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. “That... makes more sense than a lot of other theories about the walking cottage that we had come up with. So, why did she bring you here?”

“I-I don’t know, she said she was taking me to New York.” I said, still trying to level out my thoughts.

One of the lower ranking sailors snorted and covered his mouth before turning away and the entire group seemed to suddenly be at ease as they burst into laughter.

The officer grimaced. “Return to your posts, all of you.” He commanded.

“Asher, she did what you asked. You are on board the U.S.S. New York.” he said humorlessly.

I sat there with a dumbfounded look for all of about three seconds before I turned and looked out in the direction Baba Yaga had left. “Crafty, evil, little worm!” I exclaimed, somewhere between a hearty laugh and an irritated yell.

“Come with me, we have to document that you were here and figure out if this counts as trespassing on a naval ship, I’ll put in a good word for you. Also, out of curiosity, I didn’t know Asher was a girls name,” he commented, most likely in revenge for the amount of paperwork he would soon be digging through.

“Wh-what?!” I yelled, my stance turning somewhat aggressive. “I am, er, was a boy! It’s just, Twilight, and.... Augh!” I screamed in frustration as much as indignation. My hooves reflected my mood as I started following the man.

Several sailors could be seen peeking around corners and whispering to eachother as the furious little pony and the sailor passed by, slowly making their way through the ship to the bridge, where a man seemingly made of steel and muscle stood with his back to the door.

“Captain, this is Asher, the.... intruder. It appears that a mythical character tricked her... him, into being sent here instead of the state of new york,” my guide helpfully explained.

My eyes darted around the area, taking in as much info as possible. Having been raised by a Navy man and hearing stories related to a few odds and ends he’d gathered in his career, I noticed he was obviously a seasoned sailor.

The hulking man, however, was not the one to turn around and speak. A man who had been all but obscured by him turned and stood. The Captain was a laid back looking, friendly man. He was built more like a fighter than a bodybuilder, and he wore his short red hair combed back. 

“Well, you seem harmless enough, although I am going to have to ask you to let us put an iron ring around your horn to keep you from blowing us all up or something, orders from the top on that one.” The man said apologetically.

“W-wait, you think I'm capable of doing that?” I asked, rather astonished by the amount of power that I was assumed to have. “I-I can’t even use magic!” I shouted, upset that I wasn't even trusted.

He shook his head. “Relax, relax.” He turned to a nearby drawer and pulled out a thin ring.

“Not soon after people started changing to ponies, we found out that a ring made of Chromium, Tungsten, and Iron will keep the powers subdued enough that all one of you magical ponies will be able to do is lift stuff up. Safety precautions, you understand.” He said, holding it out and crouching.

I gave out an upset groan, but sat down and lowered my head to try and make it easier for him. “I can’t even lift anything...” I said to myself.

He slipped it on, the small weight making my head feel a little heavier.

“I’m sorry, but orders are orders. As long as you wear that, you can stay on board until we get to port.” He said. “We will let you stay in an officer’s quarters.”

“Understood.” I said, trying to sound as neutral about the situation as possible. If I was going to be on a ship full of Navy and Marine officers, I might as well act as if I somewhat belong.

“One last thing before we let you settle in.” The Captain said ominously.

“My son would kill me if I didn’t get a picture of you, do you mind?” he asked, with a tired smile.

I was caught off guard for a second, but with a small giggle and an awkward salute I said, “Not at all, sir, not at all.”