//------------------------------//
// Meet the Heavy 
// Story: Meet the Team: Pony Fortress 2 
// by The Usurper 
//------------------------------//

	All was silent in the Administrator's room. The only living being there was the owner of the room, and he sat silently, watching his vast array of computer screens, as he always did.

The aforementioned absolute silence was subsequently broken by the door at the far end of the room opening with a creak, and a certain earth pony stomping in. The Administrator smiled as his chair swivelled around, allowing him a good view of his selected interviewer.

"Welcome back to base, Diana." The Administrator spread his arms apart in what seemed to be an invitation for a hug. "I trust your journey to Dustbowl went well?"

The earth pony, her body matted with sweat and blood, growled. "Don't try that with me, Administrator. I know what you did."

"Really now? Please, enlighten me. What did I do?" A wide grin on his face betrayed his glee.

"You know what you did." Diana wore an expression midway between rage and disgust. "You're a despicable, sadistic creature. You toy with others' lives for your entertainment. You don't give a damn about all of those innocent ponies that you're hurting!"

"What I've been doing is only for their own good, not to harm them." This is my favourite part. The speech. It's so good to know that I can control other ponies with means other than force.

"Then enlighten me, Administrator." Diana retorted. "Tell me why you broke their friendship up. If there isn't a good reason, I'm going to-"

"You're going to what?" He chuckled as he held out a hand. "You forget," he continued as Diana was lifted into the air, squirming and kicking, "that you are nothing compared to me. You can't harm me."

"Yes, I can." Diana shot back, the edges of her mouth curving up in the beginnings of a sinister smile. "Maybe not physically, but I can disrupt your plans."

"How are you going to do-" His eyes narrowed. "No."

"Yes." Diana grinned triumphantly. "I won't interview any more ponies for you."

"I will kill you." The Administrator warned. "There isn't a respawn point for the ponies who disobey me."

"I'll still do it."

"I will just replace you, then. Capable ponies are a dime a dozen."

"But ones willing to go through the danger that I have?" Diana shook her head. "I don't think so. You can pay them all the money you want, but it won't be much use to them when they're dead. No one is foolish, experienced, or familiar enough with this terrain, to do what I am doing. And survive." Her grinned widened. "Plus, I'm doing it for free."

Damn it. Looks like I'm not the only persuasive one around here. Perhaps my spell was a bit too much. He released his telekinetic grip on Diana, who dropped to the floor like a stone but still managed to land, unharmed, on her hooves.

"Very well. I will answer your question. And I guarantee that you will be one hundred percent satisfied."

"I had better be." Diana smirked. "Or else."

The Administrator glared at her. "I do not allow friendship for a reason, you know. Friendship is pain. Friendship is misery. Friendship is-"

"Spare me." Diana waved a hoof dismissively. "I've heard it all before. You told me all that when I first started working for you. What I didn't get was the reason."

He sighed. "I would have thought that you of all ponies would understand what it is like to have a friend whose job is to kill you." He paused. "And vice-versa."

Diana's look of triumph dissolved into one of severe discomfort.

"Their jobs as mercenaries - their only jobs, by the way - brings in the money they need to survive." The Administrator continued. "They have no choice but to follow the orders that the Princesses give them. And that is to kill each other."

"I don't want to hear it." Diana whispered.

Either she wasn't loud enough, or the Administrator was ignoring her, because he continued talking. "You should know the feeling. The helplessness that comes with having to follow orders. Especially the ones that you don't want to carry out."

"I don't want to hear it." Diana said, a little louder this time.

He didn't stop. "I'm always here, on this chair. I sleep here. I eat here. And," he gestured to the wide bank of screens, "I see everything." 

"Before that fateful time, you always slept at 11pm sharp. And I must admit," he grinned, "despite the fact that it goes against everything I stand for, it was comforting to have some kind of constant here." His grin disappeared. "But that night, after you killed her, you didn't sleep at all. And since then, you haven't slept very much."

"I don't want to hear it." Diana spoke at her normal volume now.

At this point, it was clear that the Administrator was ignoring her. "Tell me, how did it feel to lose a dear friend? To know that if she had been anyone else, your heart wouldn't have shattered into-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" Diana screamed. Instantly, the silence from before once again descended upon the room, her outburst having effectively silenced the Administrator.

This continued for a few minutes until the uncomfortable silence irked the Administrator enough that he decided to speak up. "What's wrong?" He asked innocently. I started this, I have to finish it. "I thought you wanted to know why we don't condone friendship? I'm just telling you why."

"Never mind. You win, you monster." Diana was trembling, though out of sadness or rage, he couldn't tell. Perhaps a combination of both. "I'll just get to my next interview now." She turned to leave.

"Somebody," He said quietly, just loud enough for Diana to hear, "has to do the dirty work. Somebody has to be the monster. It takes a lot of self-sacrifice, and oftentimes, because of this, the monsters turn out to be more selfless than the rest of us. It is they who have given up the life that normal ponies take for granted. And without them, the world wouldn't be as good as it is now. And, from one monster to another," he gave her a soft, genuine smile, "you're one of the best I've ever known."

Diana cast a look back at him, an unreadable expression on her face, before she trotted out of the room and shut the door behind her.

For the third time that day, the all too familiar silence returned. The Administrator stared at the now closed door for a few moments, ignoring the guilt that flooded his heart, before crushing it as quickly as it had arisen.

"A monster's job is never easy. But if I have to alienate everyone around me just so I can do it..." His eyes hardened.

"...then so be it."





"So, here it is then." Diana looked up and caught sight of the huge apple orchard sprawled across the undulating hills. "The site of my next interview."

She let her mind wander for a few moments, which proved to be a mistake. It stubbornly refused to let her forget about her conversation with the Administrator, and what he said bugged her to no end.

From one monster to another, he had said.

Am I a monster? She wondered.

At this point, she didn't know what would have been better.

While she wasn't paying attention, her legs continued moving, carrying her all the way across one of the apple fields and into the side of a towering barn.

"Ow!" Diana grunted and lifted a hoof to massage the newly formed bruise on her head. "What the..." She looked up. "Oh."

Blushing a bit, hoping that nopony saw her, she turned around and, seeing two green irises staring at her, promptly remembered that luck was rarely on her side.

Or, she thought, looking up at the big red stallion looking down at her, maybe I'm luckier than I imagined.

"Good morning. Are you Big Macintosh, co-proprietor of Sweet Apple Acres?"

"Eeyup." He said. A pony of few words, I see. Diana mused.

"Just to confirm, are you the BLU Heavy?"

"Eeyup."

"Excellent. I'm so sorry about that incident two days ago with the Demomare. Have you recovered yet?"

"Eeyup."

"That's good to hear. Even if the lights aren't working, at least the respawn point is."

"Eeyup."

"So, you are aware that you have an interview today, right?"

"Eeyup."

"In that case, are you ready for it?"

"Eeyup."

Diana smiled. Looks like luck really is on my side today. I've already met the pony I have to interview, and there wasn't a battlefield to trot through this time. Just a turbulent mental minefield after the meeting with... the... Administrator... She mentally facehoofed. Come on brain, can't you just give it a rest already?

She soon realised that Big Mac was looking at her silently, patiently waiting for her next question. "So... uh... have the past two days been kind to you?"

"Eeyup."

"Well... alright... do you like your job?"

"Eeyup."

"Are you going to say anything else other than 'eeyup'?" An irritated Diana asked.

"Eeyup."

"What?"

"Eenope."

Diana facehoofed, not mentally this time, as she sighed. Maybe I'm not so lucky after all...

"Can you tell me about your job?"

"Eenope."

"Your family?"

"Eenope."

"Your friends?"

"Eenope."

"Ugh." Come on, Diana, think! There has to be something to make him talk... "Your hobbies?"

"Eenope."

"Your talents?"

"Eenope."

"Your farm?"

"Eenope."

"Your... uh..." She looked around the field, searching for something, anything, she could use as a conversation topic. "field?"

"Eenope."

"Your trees?"

"Eenope."

"Your apples?"

"Eenope."

"Your gun?"

Big Mac fell silent. Diana grinned. Jackpot.

"What... about mah gun?" He said slowly.

"Well..." Diana stared at the minigun that lay near to his plow, trying to think of something she could say about it. "...for one thing, I don't see the hoof slot most other guns have that allow their owners to have one hoof free to pull the trigger when they are carrying it. Weapons like the scattergun and the shotgun have those. Even the sidearms, which are only used with one hoof, have straps at the side to allow the pony to hold and operate it with one hoof. Certain exceptions I can understand, such as the Soldier's rocket launcher, since he already has hands to use it easily, but you have hooves, just like most of us." She gestured to the gun. "And this gun has no straps or slots, just two handles." She took a second glance at it. "Come to think of it, it doesn't even have a trigger."

"Well, ya see, Flutte- I mean, uh..." Diana didn't miss the almost imperceptible blush that displayed itself across his cheeks for just an instant. "Sasha here is a very special gun."

She raised an eyebrow. "You named your gun?"

"Eeyup. She's a beauty, ain't she?"

"Um... it-"

"She." Big Mac corrected.

"She certainly is unique."

"To answer your question, Sasha here is bigger and heavier than most other guns." He explained. "A hundred and fifty kilograms, to be exact. Ah have ta use two hooves to carry her. To fire, I pull back the front handle, which lets me carry her and shoot at the same time. It's easier ta hit targets when ah can move ta adjust mah aim."

"I see." Diana nodded.

"It's important that ah don't waste any bullets. Sasha here fires two hundred dollar custom tooled cartridges," he leaned closer, "at ten thousand rounds per minute."

"Um..." She didn't know what to say. What could she say? "Sounds... expensive?"

"Very." Big Mac agreed. "It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this gun for twelve seconds."

"Wow." Diana was speechless.

"Eeyup." He trotted over to the minigun and lifted it up. "See, if ya look closely here, at the muzzle," he stared at said area, "you can see that..." he trailed off.

"See that?" Diana prompted.

"...SOMEPONY TOUCHED MAH GUN!" He bellowed suddenly, causing a startled Diana to stumble backwards.

"Uh... what?" She asked.

Big Mac ignored her. "WHO TOUCHED MAH GUN?!"

"Big Mac, I-"

"YOU?!" He shouted, interpreting her hesitation as a confession. "YOU TOUCHED SASHA?!"

"What? No no no..." Diana protested. "I'm just saying that... uh..." She gulped as Big Mac's menacing look grew more threatening. "...don't you think that you might be overreacting... maybe... just a little?"

"OVERREACTING?!" He roared. "THIS IS SASHA WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE!"

This is it. Time to make a few wounds and hope to hit a raw nerve. "Calm down, Big Mac! What would Fluttershy think if she saw you like this?"

"F-FLU... Fluttershy?" The almost immediate change from furious to benign was abrupt, to say the least, but it was a change that Diana warmly welcomed.

"Yes, Fluttershy. You don't want her to think of you like that, do you?"

"N-No. No, ah don't."

"Now that you've calmed down," She gestured to the surroundings, reminding Big Mac of his current circumstances, "let's get on with the interview, shall we?"

"Yeah. Alright."

Diana was about to say something when she heard laughter coming from behind her. "What the..."

Big Mac looked around. "Who was that?"

"That... would be me." Diana turned around and came face to face with a white unicorn mare. "I am-"

"The RED Spy." Diana groaned. "Of all of the things to happen now-"

"-this is the worst possible thing?" The Spy finished, grinning.

"Well..." Diana considered. "Not quite, but close enough."

"What are you doing here?" Big Mac shot her an accusatory look. "This is mah interview, ya know."

"I'm just here to solve your little whodunnit." The Spy smirked. "I touched your gun."

Everypony went silent, until Diana erupted in laughter. "Seriously? That's the best you can do? Touch his gun?"

"Oh, I did a lot more than that, darling." Now it was her turn to chuckle. "I sabotaged it. If you notice now, it won't work." She smiled devilishly. "And good thing, too, because RED team is almost here to burn your barn to the ground."

To his credit, Big Mac remained completely calm. "Ah, so that was how Sasha got jammed. Mah little sister AJ fixed it for me already."

"And then, we will-" The Spy stopped. "Wait, what?"

"Ah fixed it already." He repeated. "And you thought you could outsmart me."

She growled. "I still can. This isn't over yet." Instantly, she disappeared into thin air, with nothing to indicate that she had ever been there.

Big Mac smiled. "Some ponies think they can outsmart me, you know."

Diana raised an eyebrow. "Can they?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe." He brought his gun up to a firing position and turned around just as the Spy decloaked behind him. "I have yet to meet one who can outsmart my bullets."

He pulled the front handle back, and numerous projectiles immediately flew out of Sasha's muzzle, riddling the Spy full of bullet holes. "Ain't so tough when ya can't outsmart yer enemy, are ya?"

"Oh, on the contrary." The Spy gave him a sinister grin, somehow still alive even with dozens of bullets embedded in her. "I have already outsmarted you."

"What-" Big Mac didn't have time to finish his question before Diana lifted a hoof and took the arrow aimed at his head to her leg instead.

"Hm." Diana stared at her wounded leg, the arrow having penetrated straight through the appendage. The blood-soaked tip emerged from the other side of her hoof. "Wow. Second time my leg's been injured this week. That might be a tad inconvenient in the future. But I'll deal with it when it's necessary. In the meantime," she pointed at the Spy. "Kill her. I'll get the Sniper. Just don't die, okay?"

Big Mac stared at her. "Why are ya'll helping me?"

"Because you're my interviewee, and I'm not going to let you die before I finish this interview." She explained. "And also, you might want to duck."

He quickly moved his head down, narrowly avoiding the rocket that whizzed over his head.

"I'll get the Sniper and the Soldier." Diana amended. "Can you dodge those arrows and rockets?"

"Ah'm not going to sit here idly. Let me take down the Soldier."

Diana glanced at the dragon running towards them. "Fair enough." She ran off, leaving Big Mac alone.

He turned to the Spy and snapped her neck before focusing on the incoming Soldier. He aimed his minigun at him and pulled the handle.

The dragon soon found himself hard=pressed to avoid the stream of bullets that came his way. He fired a couple more rockets, both of which Big Mac managed to dodge, and ducked behind the nearest obstacle that would shield him from the relentless attack of the minigun: a bale of hay.

Big Mac put Sasha away as he approached the bale of hay, preparing to ambush the soldier. He crept as quickly as he could while making sure that he didn't give his position away. His only worry now was that one of the Sniper's arrows would find its mark. That fear was quickly allayed by a loud scream that echoed across the orchard, and Diana, carrying a bow and a dozen arrows, trotted away from the scene.

The moment the Soldier realised that he had lost his allied support, he leapt out of his hiding place and fired a rocket at the Heavy, which, since he was right in front of the hay bale, was effectively a point-blank shot.

The Soldier flew backwards, injured by the blast damage, but in the time he took to clear his vision, Big Mac grabbed him by the shoulders and hauled him into the air.

"It's gonna take more than just one rocket ta kill me." He smirked. "But now ya'll are dead. Not a big surprise." With a jerk of his hooves, he snapped the dragon's neck, just like he had with the Spy's. Dropping the limp body to the ground, which promptly disappeared, probably in preparation for the respawning, he turned to Diana who was trotting towards him.

"All clear over here." He called.

"Same here." Diana told him. "She was too focused trying to kill me to bother about you."

"Great." Big Mac surveyed the orchard around him and picked the closest apple off the ground. "Now let me just eat this, and the damage from that rocket ain't gonna matter any more."

She grinned. "Just a piece of advice: make sure there aren't any Scouts around this time."

Compared to just now, his blush was now very noticeable. "You saw that?"

"Yes. I was interviewing her at the time."

"Aw, geez..."

Diana patted his back. "It's alright. I doubt I would have been able to do much if I were in that situation anyway."

"Ah'm afraid ah have ta disagree. Did you see your reflexes just now when ya caught the arrow?"

"That would not have changed matters." Diana replied dismissively, Then, before he could continue, she said, "Well, that was a pleasant interview, but I'm afraid I have to rest up back at base for tomorrow."

"Ah see." Big Mac nodded. "But are ya'll sure ya don't need me ta help you with yer leg?"

"I'm fine, don't worry about it." Diana answered. "I'm much more comfortable taking care of it myself."

"Well, if ya say so." He waved. "Goodbye. Maybe ah'll se ya'll on the battlefield next time."

"Maybe. Until then, farewell." She tilted her head slightly in respect before turning to leave. She hesitated for a moment, wondering if the stallion was going to be more insistent about her leg, but when the silence remained undamaged, she trotted down the road, back to the base.

Not too bad an interview, considering how some of the others went. She mused. What I don't want to do, is give the report in person to the Administrator.

I guess I'll just send him my script.





"Well," The Administrator chuckled as she watched his interviewer make her way back to what could be considered her home, "at least she didn't take an arrow to the knee."

He turned his chair around so that he was facing the door. He acknowledged the possibility that Diana probably didn't want to see him and would give him her report through his assistant, but on the off chance that she came to see him personally, he wanted her to know that he had been waiting for her.

I'm losing her loyalty. He thought. I need to gain it back through whatever means necessary. But...

I wonder if she knows that I really do care for her.






That night


This arrow in my leg is very irritating. Diana reflected as she tossed and turned on her bed. At least it's convenient place to keep a weapon should I ever need one.

Of course, her mind was quick to remind her that that wasn't the thing that was keeping her awake.

Damn it. She sighed and sat up. "Maybe a quiet night walk will calm my mind."

Getting out of bed, she pushed the door to her room open and trudged through the darkened corridors. She paused, however, when one of the doors caught her attention.

The light's in the Administrator's room are still on? Ordinarily, she wouldn't have done what she did, but in her defense, she had been through a tiring day, and she was half-asleep.

She entered.

Diana stared in surprise at the Administrator, who held the script she had sent to him in his hands while intently watching the door. When he didn't move at all when she stepped forward, her drowsy mind put two and two together and realised that he was asleep.

"Has he been waiting for me this entire time?" She whispered in disbelief.

She didn't know what to do. She glanced at the Administrator.

Does he really care?

She stared at the scene for a long time before lifting a hoof to the side of the door and flicking the light switch off.

"Sweet dreams."

She closed the door, and the monster was once again alone.

All was silent for a long while. And then, one eye cracked open, and a red iris stared at where Diana had been.

"Ah, mon petite pouliche." He sighed. "Quand trouverais-je le courage de tout te dire face-à-face? Maintenant, cette chambre vide et ces froids écrans sont ma seule audience, à la fois ma bénédiction et ma terrible malédiction.”

"Tu es le fruit de la discorde."

He smiled. "Fais de beaux rêves, ma petite Diana."