//------------------------------// // AD 2200 part 5 - The Wages of Charity // Story: Mankind Triumphant - Relic // by Dafaddah //------------------------------// The Conversion Bureau: Mankind Triumphant - Relic - Chapter nine: AD 2200 part 5 - The Wages of Charity by Dafaddah Author's note:  Heap Big thanks to both SecondLaw and Microshazm for editing. Use of characters from An Azure Future with the gracious permission of Krass McWriter.   --- “Is this *beep*-ing thing on? Okay, let’s *beep*-ing do this.” A human torso and face appeared in the video window projected by Conrad’s room AI. It belonged to an athletic looking young man, perhaps in his late teens or early twenties, and in the image he seemed bored. He picked up some papers and read from them. “Minutes of the board meeting of Intelligent Designs corporation, John Norris reporting, secretary pro tem for this meeting, timestamp.” The screen briefly showed a date: July 28th, 2018. “The board reviewed and approved the minutes of the last meeting, like anyone of these *beep*-ers would object!” Norris looked into the camera and smiled crookedly. “But today was special. Today this board lived up to its name by wasting an hour that we will never get back entertaining a crazy shit with the stupidest idea since flavored socks.” He looked down at the paper. “The *beep*-hole in question was named Dr. Gilles Burnford representing the Green Earth Collective, Inc. AKA *beep*-ing tree-huggers nonpareil, *beeep*. He proposed to pay Intelligent Designs three hundred million dollars to develop the world’s first true green AI, as if that that makes any *beep*-ing sense! Stated objective of the AI: to restore the Earth to its former state of natural beauty, biodiversity and fully functional, autonomous, and self-regulating ecosystems, i.e. to bring Earth back to the Garden of *beep*ing Eden.” Norris looked into the camera. “*Beep*-ing nutjob, and I told him so before he left the room. The CEO, that *beeep*, recommended we accept the proposal, as this was basically taking money for nothing.  We could just repurpose one of our existing AIs for the job, which would cost us max five or six million to deliver as specified. The slower members of the board did the math. Then the board voted on the proposal. As the junior stockholder on the board, my votes and common sense came short of getting the majority and the board approved the *beep*-ing project. The AI will be based on the Resource Snake AI we sold to Exxon earlier this year, and will be called the Lizard. Well, that’s all, except we had coffee and some really decadent pastries and watched as various board members put their metaphorical *beep*-s on the table at least once or twice each. Secretary pro tem John Norris, signing the *beep* off.” He saluted the camera, and turned away. “Man, I had better not have to *beep*-ing do this again anytime soon...” The video ended. “Did you get that Princess?” Conrad blushed as he spoke, which he hoped Princess Celestia couldn’t detect it through the telepathic link. Billy shook in silent laughter at his friend’s embarrassment. They had debated playing the actual recording because of Norris’ colorful language. “Yes, I did, despite the frequent redactions,” replied Celestia. Conrad’s blush deepened and his ears began to droop. Billy was holding his sides to prevent himself from laughing out loud. “It was quite resourceful of you to find this information, Conrad. However did you get access to it?” His ears rose back up at the praise. “Intelligent Designs was bought out by a consortium, that was in turn bought by my great-great grandfather. As a shareholder I have access to all company and subsidiary internal reports and shareholder minutes of meetings. When my dad said the Lizard was an AI, I recalled that Intelligent Designs had been one of the pioneers in that area. It made John Norris one of the richest men in the world before he could even drive a car!” “Excellent initiative, Conrad. I wouldn’t have even thought of looking into company board meetings.” Conrad’s ears rose all the way back. “I am beginning to suspect there is more to this Lizard than he lets on, even to his partners in the HLF. Then there is also the troubling issue of Discord being involved, and how he fits into this Lizard’s plans. Have you made any progress in discovering where are the stored remains of Discord not used on Judgement Day?” “We have, but that’s Billy’s department,” said Conrad. Billy, still laughing, was caught off guard and suddenly straightened up. “Uh, yes, your majesty,” said Billy, still trying to catch his breath. Conrad stuck his tongue out at him and crossed his eyes. “Uh, I used Conrad’s house AI to do some searches in old inventories of the same corporations during and following Judgement Day. I turned up an interesting item identified as ‘Equestrian Statuary Fragment Powder’ that was shown as having a rather low book value, but was always kept in the most secure facilities available to the conglomerate. It was listed as weighing three point seven metric tons when first acquired, and after the first move the weight was reduced to just over two tons. Does that sound right?” “Yes, my little ponies. That sounds correct. Do you know where this item is kept now?” Billy smiled sheepishly. “This was a bit of a surprise, but after what Mr. Sachs said when we arrived here, it kind of makes sense. It’s now listed as stored in the basement of this house.” It took Celestia a moment to answer. “Is the storage area accessible?” Conrad spoke. “I can go there, but Billy can’t. Do you want me to check it out?” “Yes, Conrad please do. Immediately, if possible,” said Celestia. Conrad turned on the simulacra spell and rushed out of the room. He went down the corridor to an elevator. “House, please authorize elevator to panic level three, Conrad Sachs two, six, five, Beta.” “Authorized,” said a voice and the elevator door opened. He entered, the doors closed, and it sped quickly down. A moment later, the doors opened again. He turned to the left and walked down a long corridor to a door marked ‘Storage 24’. Nobody unauthorized could ever get to this level alive, so there were no locks or access controls. He opened the door and entered. The room itself was rather large, but Billy had given him an inventory location tag. “Inventory item 45B-28S, locate,” he said out loud. A line in the floor lit up and led him to the indicated storage bin. It was a large drum, topped by a rolling cover with a single handle. “Should I open it?” asked Conrad. “Yes, but do be careful, Conrad,” replied Celestia, sounding subdued. Conrad suddenly remembered that the contents of the drum were supposed to be the powdered remains of her brother. He gingerly grasped the handle and rotated the cover backwards, peering inside. Instead of powder, the bin held several large plastic containers of water. “Hey! This isn’t powdered statuary.” Conrad was confused. “Please don’t be upset Conrad, but this is what I had expected,” said Celestia. “It only proves to me that Discord has likely regenerated partially, and maybe even been set free. I suspect the Lizard is behind this as well. You can return to your room now, if you wish.” “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Conrad exited the storage room and made his way back upstairs. When he arrived he found Billy staring at shipping records. “I’ve noticed something interesting,” said Billy. “When the remains of Discord were moved, they always used an optimal secure route between origin and destination. But over here,” he pointed at one shipping invoice, “it should have taken at most two hours, but the arrival is a whole day later than the departure. It happened over ten years ago, but I suspect that is when Discord was... er,  re-constituted. By coincidence, the truck reported a failed GPS transmitter, so the actual route taken was not filed. I’m sorry, but I don’t think we can use this to track down Discord.” “Don’t worry, Billy. It was excellent work nonetheless. At least now I know when Discord is likely to have begun interacting with humans. I have other avenues of research I can pursue. But please do continue looking, and if you have any ideas please let me know.” “I’m glad, your majesty,” said Conrad. “Glad of what, Conrad?” asked Celestia. “Glad that Discord is still alive. He is your brother, after all, and you were so sad when you thought he had died before.” Billy stared at him with his eyes wide as if he had gone crazy. There was a long pause. “Thank you, Conrad. You are truly very kind, and it has been so long since anypony expressed such concern for my welfare. Even though he is a great danger to this world, I am glad he is alive. This is selfish of me, but you are right, I have to keep hope alive, especially for my brother. Now, I need to think upon what I have learned today. Please let me know if you discover anything else you think is important. Goodbye, my little ponies.” “Goodbye, your majesty,” they replied in unison, and deactivated the telepathic link to the princess. “You know, that was really nice of you to think about how all of this might make the princess feel. For a rich kid, you’re not all bad!” said Billy, causing his friend to roll his eyes. He took out a deck of cards from his saddle bag. “Okay, telekinesis practice time, only this time do it while in the simulacra spell.” The deck flew over to Conrad, who made it look as if he had caught it with his right hand. He extracted the cards from their box and fanned the cards. He then shuffled the deck and dealt them five cards each. The whole process looked perfectly natural and ordinary, even though all the card manipulation was done using magic in synchronization with the illusory hands presented by the simulacra spell. Billy clopped his hooves. “Very impressive, Conrad. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anypony get the hang of magic so quickly!” His friend’s smile wasn’t entirely a happy one. Billy tilted his head to one side. “Hey, what’s the matter? I said you did good!” Conrad looked at him. “You know, everything I’ve done in the last three days has been great, but I just wish I could show my dad.” He looked down. “I really feel bad about fooling him. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why it’s necessary. But still, I wish it wasn’t.” “Yeah. After having met your dad I’m starting to see why you feel that way. He’s not bad either, for one of the most powerful people on Earth,” replied Billy. “How about we continue with the lesson?” “Okay, but only if we actually play a hand after I deal it. Rummy?” “Sure, but the loser has to eat lunch with chopsticks!” said Billy, activating his own simulacra spell with an evil grin. “You’re on!” Conrad’s simulacra image dealt the cards. "NO! Not Dexter! I don’t want to hear any more!” Princess Luna covered her ears with her hooves, tears streaming down her dark muzzle. The filly was barely fourteen years of age, not counting the year she had spent in storage before Celestia finally had the courage to call her back. So far this conversation had not gone easily, no matter how often the elder sister had rehearsed it in her mind. “I’m sorry, Lulu, Discord is too dangerous to be allowed to live,” said Celestia. Despite being only a few years older, right now it felt as if several lifetimes of struggle separated the sisters. “I know it’s hard to hear this.” She looked down at her hooves. “But he’s not the Dexter we knew and loved. He’s been broken by the weight of a truth he could not bear.” Luna seemed to shrink-in on herself. “I can’t bear it either, Tia” Celestia encircled her with her wings, as Luna wept in grief and loss. “No, Lulu. You can and you will. You will not reject those around you. You will not run in fear, and you will not go killing and destroying everypony and everything in sight. You’re stronger than that.” Celestia sighed. “Of the three of us, you’ve always been the brightest, the most determined, the one who cares the most about others. I cannot imaging you going down that precipice, Luna.” She waited as her sister’s sobs abated and her shaking stopped. Luna opened her eyes and looked into Celestia’s. “Tia, you have always said that a life is a life, even a small one. Well this is our brother, Dexter. You must... find another way.” Celestia looked at Luna in despair. “As long as he can act he can hurt others. How can I allow that to continue?” Luna’s gaze was hopeful and desperate. “There must be a way, and we have to find it, Tia. You have to promise me! Otherwise just put me back to sleep, because I want no part of this world.” Luna’s gaze was implacable. Celestia looked to the sky took a deep breath. How often had she asked herself the very same question? Had she made her peace with the decision to kill Discord, or had she just lost her objectivity? But now, Luna’s happiness, and maybe even her sanity, rested on this decision. In her heart she couldn’t bear the thought of losing her only sister as well. She made her choice. “I promise, Lulu. I will find another way.” She knew the day would come when she would more than likely regret the promise, but her heart felt lighter the moment she made it. She would have to speak with the professor and explore alternatives. Luna smiled through her tears. Her first one since Celestia had started relating the events of the last year. “Poor Tia. All this fighting and death.” She brought a hoof to her sister’s cheek. “You protected me all these months. Now it’s my turn to protect you. Just... find a way to stop him without killing him, and let me do the rest.” There was steely determination on her young face. Celestia had seen it before and knew her sister to be unshakable once she had chosen her course. A smile broke out on her own face. Now Discord was in for a fight! Wilberforce Sachs walked up to the security station. He placed his palm on the reader and waited for the green light to indicate that he could enter. It did, and the door to the vault rose ponderously. As in his last visit here, he was not wearing any protective clothing. Again, he wasn't expecting to stay very long, but this time, he had a very specific set of questions to ask the prisoner within. And this time, it was the life of his son that was in jeopardy. The Treasure Chest gleamed dully, its metal impregnated with the anti-magical Substance D  produced from the ground fragments of Celestia's nemesis, Discord. Low on one side was a spigot from which every month the accumulated magical blood of Celestia was drained to produce ponification serum. On top was a 3D view-screen, part of a two way communications system he had had installed two days earlier. Wilberforce activated the switch and the image of Celestia’s head appeared on top of the Treasure Chest. “Hello Wilberforce, I wasn’t expecting you back so soon,” said Celestia, in a businesslike voice. He thought for a moment. “Good day, princess. I wondered if I might ask you a few questions.” He held up a placating hand. “Now before you answer, I admit that I cannot coerce you to cooperate, but if you do, I am in a position to perhaps improve in a limited way the conditions of your incarceration. Consider this video link my first contribution towards that end.” She stared up at him, eyes alert. “What do you wish to know, Wilberforce?” Sachs, linked his arms behind his back and paced in front of the box as he spoke. “There was an attempt made on the life of my son, Conrad. It failed, thankfully, but I have reason to believe it was a means of expressing disenchantment with my policy of opening communications with you.” “Then is it wise to visit me again? And is the boy safe?” asked Celestia. Sachs stopped and gazed at Celestia. He saw nothing more than concern in her countenance. He took a deep breath. “There was a call, a warning really, communicated through my son. The callers claimed to have a way to influence the HLF, the organization that attacked him. And one of them was very likely an AI named the Lizard. Have you ever heard of it?” The princess looked deep in thought for a moment. “The HLF has long been a radical group opposed to ponification,” said Celestia. “I assume their stance has not much changed in the last century. And the Lizard AI, was associated with an environmentalist group, the Green Earth Collective, if I recall. Some of their membership became ponies and travelled all over Equestria collecting samples of flora and fauna, but oddly enough only of those species that had previously existed on Earth and gone extinct. We also thought it odd this AI was one of the few that stayed on Earth when most of the others left at the end of the singularity. In answer to your unspoken question, the Equestrian government had no dealings with the Lizard, nor did any my agents.” She paused a moment. “May I ask you a question?” Wilberforce knew the game of quid-pro-quo. “Very well, although I make no promises that I will answer it.” “Was the Lizard involved in my capture and the destruction of Equestria?” asked the princess. WIlberforce considered for a moment, then spoke. “Yes, but that is all I will tell you on this subject.” Celestia’s smile seemed genuine. “Thank you for your honesty, Wilberforce. For this I will tell you two things. The first is beware of this Lizard. It was made to restore the garden of Eden on Earth. Its agenda is its own. At the time of Equestria’s arrival on Earth, some in the intelligence establishments of certain human governments feared it greatly, because they also could not fathom its true intentions. Second, it was rumoured that the Lizard had somehow obtained the statue of my nemesis in Equestria, Discord. I am aware that this box containing me was made from his substance, Wilberforce, but I ask you to be sure you have all the remains of Discord where you can keep an eye on them, for if he gets loose on Earth it will be a genuine catastrophe, one that will make the events of Judgement Day seem like a minor inconvenience.” Wilberforce stared at the image of the princess hovering over the Chest. “You presume much. Why should I trust you, Celestia, to be honest with me in regards to your dealings with humanity? And even if I did, why should I then also believe the words of those humans who were so eager to cooperate with you and betray their own race?” For the first time Wilberforce saw something that looked like anger in those eyes. “Because, my dear Wilberforce, it was I and Equestria that were manipulated into cooperating with the plan for the Conversion Bureaus. It was I who was misled, and being a prisoner in this box with Equestria dead is the price of my foolishness.” Celestia visibly made an effort to calm herself down. She continued in a much calmer voice. “There was a meeting where all this was discussed with the WorldGov leadership. It was held on August 1st, 2020, in Washington, DC. I assume you can get access to a recording of it.” Wilberforce could not believe his ears. “So you still deny being a failed invader? I should have expected nothing better. What do you care of the Earth, or me or my family?” By the time he reached the end he was almost shouting. “Because, on Earth, ninety percent of the population are now ponies of my own blood. Because, hard as it may be for you to believe, I care about the humans on Earth as well. And because, dear Wilberforce, these people and ponies and this Earth are all I have left.” Sachs felt conflicted. If the princess was being honest with him much of what he had believed his whole life might be based on lies. There still was a possibility that she was insane and spouting nonsense. But if that were really the case, why had Conrad been attacked after his first visit here? Wilberforce had studied Celestia extensively and thought he had a good grasp of her character, at least as it was before Judgement Day, and a good idea of when she was being forthright and when she was holding something back. So far today she had appeared very sincere. He sighed, and made a decision. “I don’t know what to make of this all. I will consider what you said. As a reward for your cooperation, I will authorize access to a news feed to your communications array. You will be able to receive news from around the world. I will also arrange a line for you to communicate with me when you think you have something important to say. Abuse either one and I will have them both removed. Is that clear?” “Yes, Wilberforce. And thank you,” replied the princess. Could that really be gratitude he saw in her eyes? “Goodbye, Celestia,” he replied in a low voice, turned off the view-screen, and left the room. Wilberforce Sachs was alone in his office, a tumbler filled with his favorite brand of whiskey, made by a firm of ponies in the Scottish highlands. It was made using only traditional ingredients, recipes and methods that had only recently become possible again due to the environmental reconstruction of the British Isles. He had his personal AI open a vid window. It showed a group of twenty men and women around a table with Princess Celestia. The recording had not been easy to get. He had had to spend a lot of personal capital and bribe money to gain access to it. On the screen the chairman of the WorldGov central committee stood and addressed its members. The view panned around the table. “This meeting is called to order. We will dispense with the reading of minutes as we have a special guest, her majesty Princess Celestia of Equestria.” The humans around the table clapped politely. “The princess is here at my invitation to negotiate the terms of our proposal to the Equestrian government for the funding and operation of a global network of Conversion Bureaus. Your majesty, you have an opening statement?” Celestia rose. “Yes, thank you Mr. Chairman. Ladies and gentlemen, let me start by thanking you for sharing the current status of the Earth and your projections over the next years, and by assuring you that the government of Equestria is both sympathetic to your cause and deeply saddened by the crisis in which humanity finds itself. I am here today to report on a few of our initiatives to help the people of Earth. “You project being able to feed your population only for another five to six years. We have investigated supplementing the ever decreasing mass of usable raw materials for your nanite food processing plants with organic materials from Equestria. Unfortunately I must report that test runs have shown an almost universal degradation and significant outright cessation of nanite function when using these materials in any meaningful quantities. The cause appears to be the thaumatic radiation emitted by all Equestrian organics.” One of the committee members raised a hand. Celestia nodded in acknowledgement. “Why can’t you just turn other stuff into food using your magic rather than use nanites?” she asked. Celestia smiled. “Unfortunately, such transformations are generally short lived, and the food reverts to its original composition a few hours later. That might prove dangerous if the original constituents were either indigestible or even worse poisonous. However, the biggest problem with this approach is that the thaumatic energy needed to do such transformations is enormous, so the total production, even it it would engage the full capacity of every single unicorn in my kingdom, would be so small as to be of negligible impact. “We have also examined our own capacity to increase food production. Unfortunately our population is very small compared to that of the Earth, and so I’m afraid even if we were able to double our output, it would result in an increase of less than one half of one percent increase in the global food supply.” Celestia paused a moment. “Another project investigated the progression of the barrier produced by the incursion of Equestria on Earth. At the current highly variable rate it is likely to take about fifteen years to consume the entire planetary surface. You have declared that your capacity for getting people off-planet is limited to two to three thousand per year, making a planetary evacuation impossible, so we in Equestria have set up a program to examine the possibility of reversing, halting or even slowing down progression of the barrier. I regret to inform you that our unicorn mages have proven that it is impossible to slow this progression down. Indeed, all our attempts to do so have only resulted in locally speeding the rate expansion. My sister, who is in charge of this effort, has recommended we halt any further experimentation along these lines as the risk is too great. We are sorry, but we consider this line of investigation a lost cause. “This leaves only the proposals for accommodation. I have personally led the effort to determine why thaumatic radiation is so poisonous to humans, and to find a way to stop its effect. I regret to report that these efforts have also been unfruitful. Again, all attempts at mitigating the effects of thaumatic radiation on humans have only succeeded in accelerating the process. This was done at a great cost to the humans who volunteered for this study. Some of them, who had indeed become friends, perished in this study. Their courage and sacrifice will be remembered.” Celestia paused again, longer this time. She took a slow breath, and continued. “As to the final project, led by my esteemed student Twilight Sparkle, we have engaged with WorldGov in research to link our Amniomorphic spell with your nanites, successfully I might add, to convert human individuals into ponies, thus making them immune to thaumatic radiation. This would simply resolve the problem of the ever decreasing land area capable of supporting human life, but at the cost of the inhabitant’s very humanity. Because of the destructive effect of Equestrian metabolism on nanites, the conversion process is unfortunately a one way process, and so the government of Equestria is still unconvinced that this is the optimal solution to the incursion. But we have not lost hope and continue to seek other alternatives.” Celestia sat down on her haunches, putting her head about the same height as the sitting humans. The room was deathly quiet. The chairman rose again. “Your majesty, we thank you for your candor, and the continued efforts of the Equestrian people, uh, ponies, on humanity’s behalf. Your report presents a dire situation, although one for which this body has prepared contingencies. Our proposal today is in light of these facts, and must focus on nothing less than the avoidance of the end of mankind.” He looked at the sober faces around the table. “The only option still on the books is a relocation of a viable human population to another planet. We have identified a suitable candidate less than thirty light years away, and we have the transport capability to get there in some two hundred years or so in interstellar colony ships. The colonists will travel in suspended animation and will not age in transit.  “In order to assure a sufficient population for the continuation of the human race and most of its key cultures and traditions, we will need to transport some ten thousand people to our moon base where interstellar colony ships are being built. Sadly, if this were generally known, there would be major upheaval, with likely a massive loss of life and property as people tried to force themselves and their families into the colony ship program. In fact our projections show that if the plan were publicly disclosed, it would be so disrupted by this upheaval that it could not be successfully launched. The outcome, in a few short years, is that humanity would become extinct. Consequently, we are keeping the entire colony program entirely confidential.  “However, we cannot and will not abandon those who will stay on Earth, and that is where the Conversion Bureau program comes into play. The only conceivable place for all the remaining people of Earth is... Earth and Equestria. Due to the lethal effects of thaumatic radiation on humans, that is only possible if they first convert. So what we ask of you and Equestria, your majesty, is to help us convert as many of Earth's teeming billions as we safely can, and to assist in their adaptation to life as ponies. “However, we face another problem. We will not be able to feed to the human population beyond another five years or so at the current rate of population increase and resource depletion. If, however, we can get a reduction in the human population of at least ten percent per year, our resources can last for a good ten to twelve years, assuming we can start the Conversion Bureau program immediately. Also, the newly converted become self-sustaining, as the earth ponies amongst them can within weeks start producing food enough food to feed the entire group. “One final consideration: our own psychologists and behavioral analysts do not believe a sufficient number of humans would voluntarily convert unless the threat of Equestria’s expansion is made more imminent, and that conversion is done under the expectation of emigration to Equestria. “As you have just stated, your majesty, you and Princess Luna can actually speed up the expansion of the barrier around Equestria. We propose that the Equestrian government undertake to speed up the expansion so as to create conditions that will foster a faster rate of conversion in the general population and thus ensure that resources are sufficient to prevent mass starvation in the remaining unponified population until the completion of the conversion process. The rate of advancement of the barrier can be tied to food consumption and production, to ensure remaining food stocks will last until the end of the conversion program and the complete absorption of Earth’s surface in Equestria. This way no-one will starve, and only those who refuse to convert will die of thaumatic poisoning. “As I mentioned moments ago, we also propose to undertake a massive information campaign to market Equestria as a unspoiled paradise, clearly stating that conversion comes with automatic Equestrian citizenship. “We realize that the absorption of such a huge population represents both a logistical challenge and even great cultural risk to Equestria. We also remind the Equestrian government that our projections show that each day’s delay in setting up the Conversion Bureaus may result in the death by starvation of as many as one million human beings. The chair cedes the floor to her majesty.” Wilberforce knew Celestia well, and thought he had seen her under many circumstances. He watched as Celestia rose hesitantly to stand before the board. In the video, he saw something new, something he could never have even imagined. He saw fear on the face of Princess Celestia of Equestria.