From the previous episode:
“I can’t believe I've still got to do this,” The sounds of a chair squeaking fills the air as the narrator sat down heavily behind his invisible desk in the sky, “previously Spiderman wa-”
“Not that I give a fuck but can we get on with this because I got shit to do” Spiderman said interrupting the narrator.
“I was jus-”
“Put that thought in a letter and post it to someone who gives a fuck, which ain't me” Spidey yelled as he laid back on the tree branch he was on putting his hands behind his head and stretching out into a not giving a fuck pose.
“Didn’t you say you had sh.. stuff to do?” ask the narrator barely holding on to his anger.
“Yes, I’m busy not giving fuck” stated Spidey matter of factly
“PREVIOUSLY” the narrator snapped before stopping and took a deep breath to calm down.
“Previously Spiderman was found dead on the moon by princess Luna, who had also been shot to the moon by her sister ... again as she's been known to do from time to time. Upon finding Spiderman's shattered corpse, the princess of the night decided for some stupid reason to bring him back to life, and then gave our … hero ... a ride back to Earth, where she has left him to-”
“Not give a fuck”
“THAT'S IT!” the narrator got up and flip his invisible desk over before storming off kicking an invisible dog on his way out.
“Not that I give two shits, but he needs to stop giving a fuck so much.” Spidey shrugged his shoulders before getting back to doing nothing.
He took a moment to take in his surroundings or at least as much as he could, without actually getting up or moving, from what he could see he was in a forest ‘No shit, that would explain all the trees’ he told himself and then decided that he really didn’t give that much of a fuck about where he was and settled in for a nap.
A strange noise started to fill the silence of the forest, not that Spidey gave a fuck as he was long asleep. But it became increasingly louder by the second.
Suddenly, much to Spidey's annoyance his spider sense started acting up pulling him out of his slumber.
“Stupid spider sense ... look at all the fuck I almost gave!”
A sudden flash of colour filled Spidey's sight before his world exploded into white, as he was knocked out of his beloved and one time lover tree, hitting the ground hard he was none the worse for wear because he was Spiderman, not that he gave a fuck in his mind.
Shaking his head to clear off his groggy feeling, he spotted a very familiar looking, rainbow maned pony laid spread out on top of him. “I am truly irresistible. Everyone wants a ride on the spider,” Spidey said, striking a stud pose underneath the still dizzy pony.
“Ohhhh ... My head” groaned Rainbow dash as she laid there. She put a hoof to her head, trying to get herself back to senses.
“Don’t worry, a spinning head is normal after a tumble with the Spiderman,” Spidey said smoothly once again, putting his hands back behind his head. “Not that I give a fuck but I did teach Hue Hefner everything he knows.”
“W-wha!” Rainbow's eyes shot open at the sound of Spidey's voice, locking her eyes with his and he somehow visibly winked, despite the fact that he was wearing a mask, but, fuck facts he exclaimed.
Rainbow jumped like burnt, straight up into the air above Spidey, her mind tripping over itself as she took in the sight of the foul mouth creature she had witnessed being shot out of a massive cannon to the moon only yesterday, now laying out on the ground below her giving her a 'not giving a fuck bedroom eyes'.
“H-how?” Was all she could manage to stutter out shocked, confused and a little turned on- No! she shook her head to clear it once again, blaming that last part to the hit to the head she had just received from the crash.
“Because I’m the fucking Spiderman!” Spidey proclaimed as he leapt to his feet again, before shooting his web into the trees and swung off through the forest leaving a stunned Rainbow Dash floating there.
It took a moment for her to register what had just happened “W-what in the ... HEY GET BACK HERE!!” Rainbow Dash then bolted after the strange creature that was now swinging away from her.
Rainbow ducked and weaved between the branches as she followed her prey, her eyes fixed firmly on him as they sped through the forest.
Spidey not really giving a fuck about being chased looked behind him giving his butt a slap he called back to his pursuer “If you want another bit of this sweet meat you gotta move your hot ass faster than that Skittles.”
“S-Shut up!” Rainbow yelled back as her cheeks turned red, driving on harder she chased her tormentor out into a clearing just avoiding hitting another tree as she was distracted by Spidey's toned ass cheeks, ‘it's just the blow to the head, just the blow to the head.’ she kept telling herself “When I get my hooves on you they won’t need a cannon to sent you back to the moon!” Yelled the increasingly aggravated rainbow maned pegasus.
“What do you mean I won't get paid if I don’t finish?” An off screen voice mumbled something to the narrator but was too quiet for anyone but the narrator to hear,
“Yeah bu- I know bu- WHAT! … Fine …” the sounds of shuffling papers barely covered the sounds of the narrators disgruntled muttering.
“Will our hero esca-”
“HEY look this is me not giving a fuck!” Spidey yelled out to the narrator, causing him to let out a primal scream that would make a caveman proud.
“YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO! … no I’m done, see? finished! Now give me my damn paycheck... End of the month!? What do you mean end of the month!? Oh this is bull shi-”
Special thanks to my friend here, SirBarmy. From now on, the fic will be in a tennis style. He wrote this chapter and I edited it. I simply love what he did and I feel like this is going great! But, as Spidey would say, 'not that I give a fuck'.