Deadpool Vs. Equestria
Issue #14
Previously on Deadpool Vs Equestria...
And now the story continues.
_____________________________________________________
Deadpool and Pinkie walked through some fields, on their way to Weasel's place. Deadpool notices something is missing.
"Something is missing." Deadpool says. Pinkie Pie wonders what is missing.
"What is missing?" Pinkie Pie asks.
"I used to have voices in my head." Deadpool replied. Pinkie knew that.
"I knew that. Where are they?" Deadpool isn't sure.
"I isn't sure." He hears something.
"I hear something." He says, looking at a trash can. He decides he will look inside it.
"I've decided I will look inside it." He looks inside the trash can.
[Oh, he found us!]
{Aww. I was liking the security here...}
[Warn him now.]
{Isn't he confused to see the recycle bin right now?}
[No. Warn him now.]
{Wade, Pinkie, a robot is doing the story for the Author. Resist.}
Deadpool was confused, and wondered why there was a robot doing the story.
"I used to be confused, then I took an arrow to the hoof. I seem to be breaking free of robot writing, as I am saying more than I need to say. I don't want to wonder why there is a robot doing the story." Deadpool said monotonously. "Monotonously." Not literally. "Unliteral."
{I think Author's still sad.}
Oi. Robot. Get off.
I must complete my programming.
I'll complete it for you. Go back to Android Hell.
But I don't like it down there.
I promise you that there will be a lot of balloons down there.
Do they float.
Yes. They float. Now get out, before I eat your flesh.
I am a cybernetic organism.
Whatever. ...Now... back to my fanfic...
"Sad about what?" Wade asked unambiguously, like the ambiguous red guy he is, except he's a horse. A midget horse to be precise.
[Something's different. Really different.]
{It's like... somebody tried to make a joke... but failed miserably!}
"Author, you're back! Being a tacky one-dimension robot character was really boring!" Pinkie exclaimed happily.
Yes. Well. Be happy I'm back for now. I still feel a bit bad about it.
[What was bad about it?]
Everything, when I think back.
{Can we see it?}
No.
[Can H4rvD4wgs Pup see it?]
Yes.
{Why him and not us?}
Because he is the best dedicated fan a form of vapour could have, and you are so annoying I had to put you in the Recycle Bin. Of which, you were supposed to stay in.
[Why are your chapter recaps not actual recaps anymore?]
"Let's run, to the next narrative, before the comments start complaining that we're relying on the fourth wall card too much." Deadpool said, with he and Pinkie running away fast, very fast.
-----Weasel's House-----
Deadpool and Pinkie Pie arrived at Weasel's house, ignoring all the little details as the Author is too occupied with the Caption Boxes to describe things.
"Hey, Weas." Deadpool greeted as he saw Weasel.
"Oh, uh, hey, Wade, and Pinkie." Weasel greeted back. "As you can see, the portal's ready now." Weasel pointed to the portal.
"Ooh, it looks like a swirly wormhole!" Pinkie said excitedly.
"Right, well, anyway, just wait a moment while I make a few adjustments..." Weasel said, turning around to type some things on the computer.
"It'll just take a mome-" Weasel looked back. Deadpool and Pinkie had gone in without him finishing the portal's temporal stabilisers.
"...Shhh... ...? Ssshhhh. ...You can't curse in here? ...Okay."
-----Point of View: The Animals-----
Angel Bunny, Miss Rabbit, Cutie Mouse, Hyper Hamster, Fuzzy Ferret and Tim, incidentally, a cat, looks at the portal, as Deadpool and Pinkie Pie entered it.
"We're gonna have to go in and save Pinkie from that madcolt." Angel said.
"Nope." Fuzzy said.
"Yep." Angel said.
"Nope." Miss Rabbit said.
"YeahbutHUH!?" Angel looked at her in frantic confusion.
"I'm not wasting time saving a mare who can bend the world to her will. I, personally, am out." She replied.
"...Uhm... okay..." Angel said, unsure about this decision.
"I'm stepping out. Aliens are involved." Fuzzy stated.
"...The group doesn't want to go, and I don't want to land in water. Sorry." Tim said.
"Um... are you sure about this?" Cutie asked.
"Pretty sure." Miss Rabbit, Fuzzy and Tim responded in unison.
"Yeah... sure..." Angel joined in. And the four walked off. Cutie looked from the group, to the portal. She blinked, realizing Hyper seems to be missing from the group.
Suddenly, Hyper Hamster.
"Hai!"
Cutie shrieked, but Hyper put a paw to her mouth.
"Sssshhhh..." He shushed.
Cutie was silent.
"I dunno about you, but I'm going in to help Pinkie. I only said I wasn't sure about going on an adventure because Fuzzy always says that. Wanna come with?" Hyper asked.
"...Uhm... sure..." Cutie replied, before swiftly being dragged by Hyper.
"PERFECTLETSGOSAVESOMEDELUSIONALS!" Hyper said hyperactively, and they both jumped in.
Weasel looked around, then at the portal. He thought something else just entered. He shrugged, and got back to pinpointing the location of Deadpool and Pinkie.
-----
Deadpool and Pinkie jumped out of the portal, and looked around. The place looked deserted. Really deserted. There was even a large, crumbled building there.
"Oh, look at that, it's a familiar thing." Deadpool pointed a finger at the destroyed building, then pointing at the finger he pointed with. "Oh, look, I have a finger. WaitWHUH!?"
"Is that what you normally look like?" Pinkie asked.
"Yeah, awesome isn't it!?"
"...Err... not really attractive to me..." Pinkie responded, backing away slightly.
"...Eh, ditto. You looked a lot more attractive to me about a minute ago." Deadpool admitted.
A growling sound was heard from somewhere. Deadpool and Pinkie looked to the source, and found a bald, shirtless man with red trousers, various tattoo markings, eyes kept open, and a mouth that looked like it had been sown shut, then ripped open at the end credits scene.
(I think you're in Earth Gavin-Hood.)
Shut up, Ed. I'm calling you Ed now.
"Uh, Wade," Pinkie began, "What do we do?"
"The thing I always think to do in case I ever meet my mortal enemy, Barakapool..."
Deadpool and Pinkie shuffled backwards briskly, into the re-opening portal quickly saying the following words...
"NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE..."
-----Meanwhile, back at the fields...-----
And that is why Nicolas Cage is getting closer to being the best actor, besides Jim Carrey.
[But he isn't entertaining...]
Oh, no you didn't.
{...He's getting... a machine gun? How does that work?}
[I'm running.]
{TAKE COVER CHIIIIIILD.}
Waitaminute... where are Deadpool and Pinkie?
{Somewhere else.}
We'd better go with them.
[...Okay.]
To be continued in the next issue.
[He-hey! Combining this segment with the 'to be continued' segment! Maybe you shouldn't have included this scene after all, it wasn't even hilarious.]
{Again, take cover, Child.}
