17.
Tick... Tick... Tick...
Well.
Tick... Tick... Tick...
It’s official.
Tick... Tick... Tick...
The jail cell hadn’t gotten any more exciting after Cuffs stuffed me in here and told me he’d be back in a few minutes. That was three hours ago. I know this for a fact because that new, and very loud clock in the hall is counting every second of the wait.
I was mad at first, but now, I’m just bored. So painfully bored. And uncomfortable. I cannot discount that because the little bench/bed that furnishes the cell seemed to have a rock-filled mattress. If this wait was intended to take a bit of the fight out of me, mission accomplished, Cuffs.
I could tell that Cuffs was out in the station’s main room because I could hear him moving around and going about his business, but he seemed to be in no rush to actually see me. What he wants from me beyond an excuse to keep me here, and actually processing the ‘case’ is totally against that goal. He’s not going to come back, so I just make myself as comfortable as I can on that hard, lumpy mattress and close my eyes for a nap. It didn’t last long.
“Your lunch,” Cuffs said without passion, bringing me back to the waking world right after I actually drifted off.
One of my eyes cracked ever so slightly to look at the underwhelming offering of an old salad and what looked to be vegetable juice. Be still my beating heart. “You didn’t want me accidentally getting comfortable in here, eh?” I gave the officer a bitter smile that was really more of a show of teeth than anything else.
He didn’t answer, but went off on his own tangent. “I think we’ll get your statement tomorrow morning, Scriber. Maybe you can use the time between now and then to work out what your story will be this time,” he mused aloud.
There was no way I could say I liked the red pegasus, but the implied accusation that I was lying was grating on my nerves even more than the decor (or the lack thereof). If the situation was different, I would’ve called him out on it, but I didn’t want to give him the excuse to make the stay here any longer. Besides, I could take solace in the fact that he was directly disobeying a goddess and those things never go well for the violator. “Whatever. You’re calling the shots right now,” I replied without an effort to hide my annoyance, “And, you will know where to find me.”
He smiled at me in his smug, condescending way. “I know. If I had my way, you would’ve never left this cell. Or better yet, you could be in Stoney. Ah well, it’s good to have goals to strive for.” He pushed my so-called meal through a slot in the door at that point. “Especially when the goal is better than going around and putting fillies in stitches, wouldn’t you say?”
There comes a time when even the most passive and relaxed of us snap under the pressure of annoyance, and for me, that was now! I had enough of this shoddy treatment and his pissy attitude, and I was quick to get to my hooves and press right up to the bars in front of Cuffs. If the bars didn’t stop me, I’d be nose to nose with the prick. “What’s your damned problem? Do you get off on being a complete jerk or what?” I bellowed at him with the force of all my pent up frustration.
He wasn’t even phased by my reaction, but instead just replied, “Temper, temper Scriber. Did you get like this with the fillies too?”
I stamped my hoof hard, and the crack against the stone floor echoed through the hall. “I helped them! I got Sweetie to the hospital! What did you do, eh? You came by and arrested me, you useless ass! If you got a problem with me, open the door up and we can settle it right now!”
He just watched me yell without even flinching or losing his smile and that indifference to my anger just made me louder,and more heated. If I still had hands, I’d just reach out and grab the bastard right now, but instead, I had to hear his response. “I guess you aliens are an angry bunch. I’ll make a note of it for the recommendation I send to the Princesses and the Royal Court.” With an appalling amount of confidence, he turned to leave.
“Yeah, you do that! Let’s see how that goes, after Princess Luna said to leave me alone!” I called after him as I tried to squeeze through the bars to get at him, “Or how about, you let me out of here, and you do whatever you do to get this out of your system! Go drink until you pass out, or yell at your wife. I’m sure she deserves it as much as me!”
He stopped short of the door at that point, and gave a sharp glance back at me. “Don’t go there,” he said with a cold intensity. So, I could get under his skin.
“Why not? Did she leave you when she realised what type of an ass you are? Or maybe you never had one in the first place? I can’t see a prick like you being popular with the mares!” I sniped with vile intentions.
He stormed right back to my cell while I spat my angry words and as soon as I was done, he screamed, “She’s dead, you buck!”
I would later reflect on the substitution of words for that curse, but at the moment, my attention was entirely on him and his pure hate he had for me for what I had said. If I could take my words back, I would apologize, but my thoughts were paralyzed from what I just did to the stallion. When I did open my mouth, he immediately shouted me down. “No! You shut your mouth before I stuff you in a bridle!”
I complied.
His voice quieted, but every bit of what he felt was clear to me. “You’re new here, so let me tell you about Ponyville and what happens here,” he scolded, while I kept quiet, “Every few months, a new disaster hits this town, and it’s supposed to be me that holds this place together. But what in Celestia’s name can I do when a parasprite infestation eats half the town? Or when a spell makes half the town riot over a doll? All I get to do is clean-up duty. It’s all I am good for. I was in the academy for 3 years, got top marks, and I am a glorified janitor. Know what proved that to me? Do you?”
He waited for an answer from me, while I tried to get a little bit of wetness to my mouth. I know I crossed a line I shouldn’t have, and I was already dreading the fallout from the act. “Uh. No,” I forced out.
“You wouldn’t, but when an ursa minor wandered through the town two years back, it knocked over a house and crushed a wagon. You could read about it in all the papers how minor damage was to the town and how great Twilight Sparkle was in getting rid of it before any substantial damage was done to Ponyville. It’s a cold comfort when the one building it knocked over was your house, though. She died that night and all I could do is direct traffic around the demolition crew that cleaned up the remains,” he explained without once breaking his gaze on me, or even backing away the slightest from the bars. He didn’t even waver as he recounted the night to me. “I couldn’t do anything then and for every major crisis since then, I’ve been useless. But with you, it’s different for once. We can do something to stop this one, and no other pony seems to care! The Princess doesn’t get that we die when we make mistakes like this! When she makes a mistake, she gets a time-out from her eternal life, but we are dead as my wife! For all we know, you’re a scout for a damned alien invasion and, because Luna has personal issues with imprisoning a pony, you’re walking free. You being free is an insult to what happened to her and I; That’s my damned problem with you!”
By the time the rant ended, he was quite loud again, and I wasn’t about to stop him. Instead, we both stared at each other while he took several deep breaths to try and control himself. I had no idea what he was thinking, but I was hoping that there was a hole somewhere in the cell for me to crawl into after this. Then, he broke the gaze to open the door to the cell. After a loud click of a key, he threw the door right open and stepped back.
“Maybe we should settle things. Come on. Step out here. I dare you. I. Dare. You,” he challenged with a bitter eagerness that crushed the last bit of fight in me, and I was left at a loss. There was only one clear thought in my head and that was I was staying in the cell. I was annoyed and angry at Cuffs, but he was a fanatic and obsessed. There was no way I’d ever want a part of that, so I stepped back. He chuckled bitterly at my reaction and shook his head. “You’re pathetic. Close the door when you get the nerve to move.” He then left, leaving me standing there.
Only after I was sure he was out of earshot, I barely whispered nopony. “Sorry.” My hooves were still firmly rooted to the ground and I simply didn’t want to change that. I really just wanted to take back what I said.
“Why do you put up with that? I would have kicked him into next week if he talked to me like that,” came a voice from behind me and I nodded numbly in response. Then it hit me that I wasn’t alone, I jumped high into the air out of shock and turned about before I hit the ground.
“Gah!” There, framed in the window, was a frazzled, rainbow-maned pegasus, peering into my cell. “How long have you been there?” I was about 95% sure that her name was Rainbow Dash, but I hadn’t seen her since the library and frankly, I had been thinking on other things at the time.
She shrugged with her forelegs, then did her best to stifle a yawn. “Since you started yelling,” was the curt reply before she leaned right against the window’s bars. “After what you did though, he’s being a jerk and that’s entirely uncool.”
“Yeah. Most heinous,” I replied with a minor joke for my own amusement to try and lighten my mood. Of course, she didn’t get it and it didn’t work on me, so I moved on to the first question I wanted answered. “Why are you here?”
“Looking for you. Nurse Redheart saw you walk away with Cuffs before anypony had a chance to thank you for what you did for Sweetie Belle. You did a really good thing back there with you kept your head,” the rainbow tomboy answered, then narrowed her eyes. “So, why the hay are you in here now?”
“I’m here because Cuffs has issues,” I answered, and she just gave me a rather understanding nod to let me know that I was preaching to the choir. At least I finally relaxed enough to get my hooves moving, and I approached the window so I didn’t have to talk to her across the cell. “Apparently, I make a good ranging target for his frustrations.”
“Yeah. He doesn’t like me doing my trick flying over Ponyville. Also, Twilight is awake,” she said a little flippantly, “Thought you might be interested to know that too.”
I was instantly pressed up to the bars. “She’s awake? Really? I have to get out of here and see her, ASAP!” With a bit of luck, this whole week could be a memory with a few answers from her. “You have to help me out of here!”
She smiled at me proudly, as a teacher would for a student. “There we go. A bit of life out of you! If you spend more time around me, we could see you with a backbone in no time!”
That wasn’t what I expected at all from her, and I really didn’t know what to make of it. “What do you mean? I’m no pushover!” I stated defensively.
She snorted dismissively. “Every time I have seen you, it’s been you looking sorry for yourself and letting everypony beat up on you! Seriously! You were like, a hero this morning ago, and now you’re in here just looking sad.”
“We have only met three times, eh?”
“And you’re three for three.”
“Touché, Rainbow Dash,” I conceded, then gave my head a shake. “This isn’t important right now! Is Twilight Sparkle really awake?”
“What are you going to do if she is?” she asked pointedly back at me, “Are you going to buck up and get yourself out of there?”
I gave a sidelong glance to the door and considered the options I had available. “He’s a cop. And I really shouldn’t make waves, especially after what I said. Besides, he can’t keep me in here forever.”
Her hooves went to her face and she sighed. “And you were showing so much progress. Alright, you helped Sweetie, so I am going to get you out of there. Just sit tight!” There was a flurry of flapping and she was gone before I could even get a word out to ask exactly how she planned to do that. I have seen several pegasi so far show off their speed, but she was in a category of her own.
Now that I was back in my solitary confinement (with a still open door), I flopped down on my matress and wondered why I couldn’t been made a unicorn or a pegasus. The only satisfactory answer I could think of was my rotten luck, because it could be blamed for so many other things that have happened to me over the last week. I wish I had better things to think about lately; things have been so depressing for me lately.
Well, things weren’t all bad. I’ve found work, even if the world conspired against me and kept me from doing it. The local cider was pretty good and the bartender was affable. Some ponies around here even liked me, and I’d like to think that I have made at least of couple of friends. It’d be nice to get to chat, or play a few hands of cards with them once I got out of here. Or watch the sunset again. A sigh escaped my smiling lips. “Yeah. Those are all better things to think about,” I murmured to myself.
By now, I was definitely getting better at waiting, but I didn’t have to wait long. Rainbow Dash was true to her word as evidenced by a heated exchange between three ponies in the front room. I ended standing up and poking my head out of the still open door of my cell to try and hear what is being said, but even from there, that wasn’t enough. I hesitated to cross the threshold of the door because the threat that Cuffs gave me was still fresh in my memory.
“Come on, Scriber. He’s a police officer. There are rules for police officers,” I muttered to myself, “I am sure that’s what his chief keeps telling him.” Boom, two 80s references in one day. Only in the following moment, it twigged in my head that I referred to myself by that new name. My sigh was all the commentary I could give on that, so I moved on from it and out of my cell. I stepped towards the main door with an intent to eavesdrop on the conversation happening on the other side, and pressed my ear to the door.
“So, he got the filly to the hospital, and made sure she was treated, and you could’ve checked with any number of ponies to verify this, and you didn’t?” said an accented voice with confidence.
The voice was familiar. “Merlot?” I whispered to myself.
“You don’t understand the situation,” came the officer’s stunned reply.
“I understand it much better than you, actually,” he continued, “And simply put, you don’t have a hoof to stand on legally. Of course, if you put aside your feelings for the stallion, you might avoid a few choice words being passed to some patrons of my bar.”
“Yeah!” followed Rainbow dash in an appropriate colour commentary role.
There was a rather pregnant pause. “Are you threatening me?” came an outraged yell at that point. I winced because I was recently on the receiving end of such treatment, but was also curious enough to continue my approach to the door to the front.
There was no delay from Merlot. “I’d never threaten your career. You’re doing that quite well enough on your own. All I would do is get the right knowledge to the right ponies faster than it normally would.”
Wow. I knew Merlot would do a lot for a pony but he was really going out on a limb here, and I really didn’t think I deserved it at all. I barely knew any of these ponies, and they knew even less about me, but here they were, ready to pull for me. I had to do at something to show that I appreciated the efforts, so I lifted my hoof off the ground and knocked.
“Can I come out now?” I gingerly asked through the door in a voice far meeker than I intended. Several seconds passed, and I begun to think that they didn’t hear me. Just having that time to dread a response was enough to make my mouth go dry and that made repeating myself difficult. Thankfully, I didn’t have to.
“Yes,” a very begrudged officer said and the heavy door was opened for me. On the other side was Merlot and Rainbow Dash waiting for me, while Cuffs stormed right off and back to his office. I would guess that he had no interest in seeing me to freedom, and I had no problem with that. All I gave him was one more glance before he slammed a door shut behind him.
“Yup. I’m awesome and know every other awesome pony there is,” Rainbow declared triumphantly to greet me, while Merlot just gave me a much more reserved nod.
“Good to see you again, Scriber,” greeted the bartender.
“Wow, I don’t know what to say!” I said as I made my way back out and into the main room, past all the cluttered desks in the office. I was grinning rather widely, too. “I never would have thought anypony would go to bat for me like this!”
“Go to bat?” Rainbow Dash looked at me in confusion, and instantly, I recognized that I used a phrase that wouldn’t exist here. I sucked in my breath and searched for a quick answer.
Merlot covered for me by ignoring it entirely. “It’s my pleasure to help, Scriber. And, though Cuffs doesn’t realise it, I helped him too,” he replied as he extended a hoof to me and I touched it. “He’s a good pony; I don’t want to see him lose his job over this.”
“You’re the self-declared voice of reason and rationality around here, eh?”
Rainbow Dash cut in, “Yeah. He’s good at that. I think it’s because no one wants to be kicked out of his bar,” she said, “But can we talk on the road. I wasn’t kidding about the Twilight thing; she really was coming too, but the doctors want to run a bunch of tests before she can see anypony. She’ll ace them. She’s Twilight!”
Merlot gave a slight smile, and corrected, “I don’t think that they’re those sorts of tests, Mrs. Dash.” That made me chuckle.
The rainbow mare buried her face in her hooves to hide an embarrassed blush, “Ugh, don’t call me that. That was my mom. Even the new pony knows to laugh at that. Just Dash. Please. Sounds way better that way.”
“Sure thing, Dash,” I said as I lead the way to the door, but a multi-hued blurr zipped by me and out the door.
“See you there!” was her last words to us.
Merlot was right behind me. “She’s a good mare. And, once she is convinced you’re worth having as a friend, you won’t find a pony more loyal than her,” he said, “What you did for that filly really made an impression on her.”
I slowed up to let Merlot walk beside me as I started my way towards the hospital after a quick look around to get my bearings. “Thanks. Is that what she said to you?”
“No. Very little happens in this town without a word about it passing through my bar. When she came to me for help, I already could guess her reasons for it.”
I gave the stallion a glance. “You know, that sounds very sinister.”
He smiled. “I agree.”
“And that made it a lot worse.”
“Most probable.”
A bit my lip and furrowed my brow. “Just don’t use your powers for evil, eh?”
He let that hang just long enough to have my imagination start on words like, “blackmail” and “treachery”. Only then, he answered, “Only in pursuit of the greater good.”
“That wasn’t a no,” I pointed out in a slightly worried way.
He just laughed. With that established, I let the subject drop so we could move onto less worrying subjects like the origin of his name. To me, his son’s name sounded a lot more german, but he had a french name. Over the walk, he confided that his first name was actually "Rotwein" but simply got tired of mispronunciations when he moved to Ponyville. It was worse when ponies shortened it to just “Rot”. I had to agree with Merlot, even said with a hard ‘t’, that his current name sounded much nicer.
We arrived at the hospital in rather good spirits, and sharing light banter, but a glance at the building reminded me of the serious business I had ahead of me. “Are you coming in?” I asked out of politeness’ sake.
“I can’t. I do have to get back to my bar before long, but I wanted to make sure you’re well, and didn’t do anything rash,” he explained before bowing formally to me. “Now, I do think I’ll be going.”
“Hold up a second,” I said quickly, “Thanks for the help. It means a lot to me, but..” I hesitated to continue, recalling what was said earlier in the conversation.
The bartender simply motioned for me to continue.
“Well, did I just sign a deal with the Devil?” I asked, biting my lip.
He didn’t look hurt by that, but rather looked up towards the point of his horn and parsed the phrase in his head. “Oh! You mean, did you put your name in with the Nightmare?” he replied, before getting a rather wicked grin. “Perhaps. But, don’t worry, for I won’t use my powers for evil.” He then laughed in the way that only a Saturday morning villain could do, getting several passers-by looking at us as if we were mad.
“So, that’s a ‘no’, right?” I asks nervously.
He continued to laugh that way, even as he walked away from me. I think he was just joking. Yeah. He was joking. He had to be. That was way too far over the top to be in earnest.
Anyways, I walked into the hospital and towards the front desk to be confronted with a lineup of ponies all laying or sitting in seats. The most notable was the dark alicorn Luna who was talking with a brilliantly white alicorn with an ethereal rainbow for a mane. That would have to be her sister, the Sun Goddess Celestia. Both came with a full escort of guards. There was barely room for the five Elements, but they had their seats to do their anxious waiting in. If the timing was any different, I’d find it comical how tightly packed they were into the front lobby, all waiting for the go-ahead from a very stressed nurse.
I hesitated with a hoof on the door, and started rationalizing a reason to leave and come back later. Twilight would still be rather tired, and seeing me might be too much for her today, and it wasn’t as if a few quick answers would get me home right away. And, the whole missing memory thing wasn’t getting worse I think.
I nearly had myself convinced when Rainbow looked straight at me and waved for me to enter as if I had nothing to worry about. Couldn’t she see the goddess in the room with her? The one sitting there with Princess Luna. The one whose personal student I had maimed. She rolled her eyes at me and called through the door.
“Get your flank in here, Scriber!”
They all looked at me now, and my heart seized when my eyes met Princess Celestia’s. “Dammit, I am going to get smited,” I mouthed to myself, and she nearly cracked a smile at my reaction. Did she know what I just said? Or was she showing teeth before the lightening hit me. Well, I wasn’t reduced to ash yet, and she didn’t look angry, but she definitely was watching my every move carefully. Since the choice of retreating was taken away from me, I steeled my nerves and stepped into the lobby.
Guards moved to flank me quickly, though none of the actually so much as brushed my sides in passing. All could think to do now was to take off my hat and offer a clumsy bow to the divine pair. I would much rather deal with Luna; she understood my situation and had made it clear that she wouldn’t be the one to annihilate me. Of course, I hadn’t hurt her protege.
“Scriber, thou may be at ease. Nothing ill shall befall you here,” Princess Luna calmly stated with a motion for me to rise. I kept my head down; it wasn’t her that I was worried about.
“Luna is right. I even made a point of not seeing you, because I didn’t want to do anything rash out of my sadness. I would like to speak with you with Twilight though. My sister told me what she knows about you, but I would like a chance to work out why this all happened,” she said in a modern dialect. Her voice was motherly and warm, and hadn’t even a trace of ill will towards me in it.
I glanced up and slowly stood up; I was still not used to having to look up to look a pony in the eyes and the size difference alone was enough to keep me on edge, but the word of a Goddess had to be worth something. “Yes, your Highness. As you wish,” I answered with a nervous quickness.
Something touched my back and I shrieked as I was sure that this was it! I was being smited! For the second time today, I did a total wheel-about in mid air and this time, it was Fluttershy behind me, looking just as scared as me.
“Sorry!” she squeaked as she cowered down. “You just looked so scared! I just wanted to help you relax! Don’t be mad!”
“Indeed, it hath been a long time since I had seen a pony cower as such before you, Sister,” Luna added to the conversation. I looked between all the ponies assuring me and offered a slight smile back.
“Forgive me. I assumed too much, your Highness,” I stammered out. I was willing to accept that I wouldn’t end up as a smudge on the carpet, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. “Back home, there are legends about those that disappointed or wounded a god. It rarely turns out well for them.”
“What?” That was said by every pony collectively through the room.
“I can see that you two are much more forgiving. I assumed too much,” I explained quickly hoping that they didn’t take this as an insult. I couldn't help but repeat myself; I was spinning my mental tires right now.
“Who said we’re gods?” Celestia asked with her brow furrowed, then gave a very accusing glance towards her sister.
“I did no such thing!” Luna said, in a very sisterly way.
“Scriber. The princesses are ponies like you and me,” whispered Fluttershy behind me, just on the edge of being audible, “They might be more powerful and immortal, but they aren’t gods.”
In the last week, I had met good ponies, bad ponies, turned the opinions of some and had one or two that still disliked me, but this cemented the nature of ponydom in my mind. Back home, if you had a man that was immortal and could raise the sun, he’d demand to be recognized as a god. There were men that demanded it with little more than birthright or luck to back their claim, and yet here, they had two mares that clearly stood apart from the rest and yet, they didn’t want to be gods. While I processed that, the conversations continued around me, with the princesses delving into playful banter with each other about events long passed.
“You alright?” Fluttershy asked again, while I was flanked by Rainbow who gave me a rather stiff elbow to my side.
“He’s fine!” Rainbow stated before I could speak for myself, “A little screwed up, but I didn’t realise he came from that far away. You really didn’t know about the princesses?”
“Yes, please do tell us where you’re from,” encouraged Rarity, who moved closer to me.
I was drawing a total blank on how to field this, and was looking between the mares. Even Pinkamena was approaching me. I glanced at the princesses, but they were talking more between themselves than watching me. I guess that is why they had guards.
“Yeah! And while you’re at it, how is a raven like a writing desk? That’s been driving me nuts!” she demanded with a poke to the middle of my chest.
“I, uh,” I started as I tried to think of a passable line to feed them, but was coming up entirely blank.
“Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and the rest of you,” Nurse Redheart called to the room, “Twilight will see you now.”
Suddenly, where I was from, wasn’t important to anypony but me. However, to me, it meant more than anything because, now I might get some answers on why I was here and how to get back.