I slowly come into wakefulness, and the first thing I think of is Rainbow Dash.
No, no, I mentally scold myself. She just...Snapped. No fault of yours. Watch, she'll be her fine, old, cheery self by the next time you see her. But until then...I'm gunna avoid her like the plague.
Yeah, I know, it sounds mean. Oh, boo-hoo, poor Dashie can't have the boy she likes. Well, she better get fucking used to it. This might be Equestria, and while in Equestria, do as the Equestrians, but seriously, bro, she needs to calm her tits. I mean...She fucking kissed me! Yes, we've been stuck in the same room as each other for about a month and a half, I know, but I was there because I was being a good friend. I'm not looking for any kind of relationship, especially not with a pony.
Especially not with a pony that kisses me before we even have a date.
But, wait...I just brought up a good point to myself. We haven't even gone on a date yet. And yet, she felt the need to kiss me...Which is odd, to say the least. Maybe she thought she could make the move, and I'd be fine with it. Maybe she thought that I wouldn't mind if she just made a move on me, without even knowing whether I like her that much yet. And, in all honesty, I feel bad for her. Because she just lost the guy she had a major crush on by moving in too fast.
And I can't face her and try to seek forgiveness, can I? Then again, it should be her trying to seek forgiveness...
I need to open my eyes. Just laying here thinking about it isn't going to do me any good. I need to speak to somepony, I need to ask them what the fuck is going on...
After getting out of bed, I walk downstairs to see that Twilight Sparkle is sitting by a table, levitating a newspaper in front of her face. I descend the stairs, and she seems to ignore me.
Great. Looks like I've royally fucked myself.
"Good morning, Peter," she chirps. Cheerful. Huh. Maybe I'm wrong. "I made you some eggs."
I look to the scrambled eggs, and voice my gratitude. I begin shoveling them into my mouth, my stomach rumbling as I do so.
"So, you're going to be sharing your guest room with somepony," Twilight says, carefully and slowly.
"If it's Rainbow Dash, I will fucking eat your soul," I growl. "I don't want to see her; not after yesterday. Not after she fucking kissed me, and acted like I was to blame."
Twilight's happy demeanor falls to shambles, and her shoulder sag. She makes some kind of signal towards the window, and Pinkie Pie immediately bursts in, wheeling an expectant Rainbow Dash.
"Thanks, Twi'. I was getting sick of the-oh."
"Oh, indeed," I comment as Rainbow Dash is put at the head of the table. "I'd say it's a pleasure to see you, but I honestly feel like eviscerating myself."
Rainbow Dash simply blushes, and looks away.
"Now, Rainbow, you have to tell Peter what you told us," Twilight says sternly. Pinkie Pie nods in agreement, and I lean back in curiosity. "Oh, do tell," I say. "I'd love to hear as to why the strongest Pegasus in all of Equestria decided to kiss me yesterday. Y'know, after we had known each other for only a month."
Rainbow Dash sighs. "Peter, I'm sorry...I understand that you weren't ready for it, and-"
"Now, hold it right there!" I look up in surprise as Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack enter the room. "Rainbow ain't at any fault here, an' don' go makin' her think as much!" Applejack claims. "She jus' wanted th' attention, that's all. An' Peter should've respected that."
"I agree," Rarity huffs. "Rainbow Dash was being so poetic with how she kissed him! It was simply beautiful, a true marvel of Equestrian romance!"
"Uhh...I'll just sit this one out, if you don't mind," Fluttershy meekly suggests.
"Do you see what you do, Rainbow?" I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Now we're going to be the center of some huge-ass debate, all because you couldn't keep your hooves to yourself."
"Ex-cuse me?"
"You heard me."
"Hey, don't go throwin' names," Applejack hisses. "Yer' not exactly innocent yerself, kid..."
I roll my eyes. "Okay, while you guys fight, I'm going to sit in the corner and listen to my iPod. Don't try to talk to me; I won't hear you. Just saying, this is going to be a pointless argument. Rainbow Dash and I are going to be forced to live under the same roof by you assholes for the next few days, so if we don't want to go crazy, we'll end up being friends. Happy?"
Everypony watches in stunned silence as I walk over to the corner, sit on the window sill, and reach into my bag (which I had picked up in my room). I plug in my headphones, plop them on my head, and while away the time as the ponies continue to argue.
As they do, I feel as though somebody is watching me. I turn, and see that Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are silently conversing in the opposite corner, and that the both of them are stealing continuous glances at me. I sigh, and return to my philosophizing, as influenced by my music.
This argument is meaningless, I reinforce to myself. Then again, as is every argument. No living being shall ever understand the climax of life, nor how or when the concept of argumentation and presentation of concepts came about. Arguments are all simply idle forms of differing opinions, which always lead to the same road; a path upon which we all walk, every day of our life. I might as well go over and apologize to Rainbow Dash, because I'd honestly rather give up than keep this shit up...After all, a house divided cannot stand. If this keeps up, all of them will be torn apart because of our collective stupidity, and the house of friendship shall truly collapse in upon itself.
I sigh. My path is clear now. I turn off my iPod, and walk up the stairs to the balcony: a vantage point from which I can address all the ponies.
"Hey," I say, loud enough to gain their attention.
Or so I think. They continue on arguing, each side presenting its meaningless arguments as to who's fault it is for Rainbow Dash's apparent depression.
"Rainbow Dash should not have gone in so quickly!" Twilight shouts. "She should have asked him out on a date; and gotten to know him better!"
"They were t'gether in th' hospital fer a month, Twi'," Applejack responds. "What'd'ya expect?"
Twilight sighs, and Rarity continues. "Also, it was a beautifully romantic symbol of her love for Peter!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Rare, you gotta slow that down a bit! I don't love him! Oh, dear Celestia, what is wrong with you!?" Rainbow Dash cries. I pinch the bridge of my nose as the ponies below me continue to squabble.
"Yo! Assholes!" I shout, slamming my fist down on the balcony. "I've got shit to say!"
The ponies all turn to me in surprise, and Rarity huffs at my vulgarity.
"I'm going to take full blame for this," I declare. "I stayed with Rainbow for about a month. She was bound to get attached to me, and I didn't respect that risk. So, instead of making sure she didn't do anything stupid, I let myself get more and more involved with her, until the apex, at which point she kissed me, as you all know.
"While I don't appreciate how quickly she tried to accelerate our relationship," I continue, shooting the cyan Pegasus a pointed look, "I understand that she did so because I had always been there for her. I care about her, and yes; I have a crush on her. But what I don't appreciate is that she didn't respect the fact that I'm not exactly ready to discount the fact that she's a pony. We were going to go to see the Wonderbolts today, and I sincerely hope that we still do." I look at her again, and she's smiling at me as if I've given her the gift of a lifetime. "So, Rainbow, I would appreciate it if we were to...Start over. Go to the Wonderbolts as friends, and act as if the...thing, never happened. I want to be your friend, but I'm not ready for that next step just yet. Okay?"
Rarity speaks up from her spot at the table. "That was...Beautiful, Peter," she says. "While the rhetoric isn't perfect...The message is strong, and it takes a true stallion to admit to his mistakes, and attempt to retry his relationship with somepony who he has had a dispute with...And to admit your feelings for her in front of all of her friends? Bravo, Peter; Bravo! Bravo vendicimo!"
She begins to clap, but slowly stops as she realizes that nopony has joined in. "Well, at least I thought it was a nice gesture..."
Rainbow Dash is smiling at me, and she chips in. "It was. Thank you, Peter...It means a lot to me."
"I know," I respond. "Don't gots to tell me, girl."
She giggles, and I smile. "Just like before, huh?" She asks. I can tell that it's a hopeful question, and I don't want to give her false hope.
"Rainbow, I'm afraid that nothing will ever be like before," I sigh. "We may have started over, but our relationship will never be the same again. Whether it be as friends or something more, what happened yesterday cannot simply be pushed aside as if it were nothing."
Rainbow Dash sighs, as well. "But...I'll still be staying here with you, right?" She asks. Once more, false hope shall always be a glimmer for the poor thing. I open my mouth to respond, but Twilight interrupts.
"You need somewhere quiet where you can rest," Twilight says. "And I happen to have medical experience that Fluttershy doesn't, as I've studied up on the subject quite extensively. I have all the equipment ready, and, besides, Fluttershy's cottage couldn't support your recovery. So, in the end, you'll have to stay here, with Peter, for a bit. But I'll need to do some renovation; we can't have you going up the stairs to the guest bedroom every day."
Rainbow Dash nods, and looks up at me with a smirk. "Looks like you're stuck with me," she says. "Lover boy."
I clench my jaw, and keep my words to myself.
She's still after me, and she won't stop until she has me.
I have no doubt that she may kiss me again, perhaps even at the Wonderbolts later today. And I have no doubt that I shall continue to forgive her out of pity.
I seem to have entered the Mobius Relation-Strip; a zone in which no matter how hard you try, you keep ending up at the same point. Of course, if I were to submit to her advances, then we would end up moving on, and at a pace much faster than I would enjoy.
And, once again, all I can think is:
What the fuck have I gotten myself into?
Have I made the biggest mistake of my life? By forgiving Rainbow, have I given her the go-ahead to try whatever she can to get me?
What the fuck have I just done?
I sigh as Twilight begins to bark orders, as the Wonderbolts will be arriving for their performance soon.
As with all things, only time will tell whether I've just made the biggest mistake of my life, or saved a friendship.
Note from Dat Author
In case you're wondering, I'm not doing this because "Oh, I don't like making them not friends anymore, I want them to be friends, blah blah blah," but, alas, no; I'm doing this because I wanted to make the basis for an awkward relationship dynamic between Peter and Rainbow Dash. I promise, this will yield a lot more than it seems to be promising in terms of laughs, slight feels, and an ending that I've meticulously planned out. Trust me, this choice will end up contributing to a revelation that isn't exactly obvious, but has been hinted at at least once.
Only time will tell...
But it won't tell George.
George is a total dickhead, and he enjoys being a head and a dick at the same time as being a dick and a head.