"Hey, Sparky..."
"..."
"Spaaaaaaaaarkyyyyyyyy."
"... Is this your revenge for the jewel box?"
"Nah, I'm way over that. Now I'm just paying it forward."
Twilight sighed, "For the last time, Shawn, it's just called Canterlot Castle. Nopony has ever heard of... what was it? Minas Tirith? And I doubt the princesses will be open to renaming it."
With a shrug, Shawn hopped off the carriage after her. "Then you guys need to fire whoever's been naming your cities. I mean, come on: Ponyville? Canterlot?"
"Well, Ah'm sorry our namin' conventions don't meet yer high standerds." Applejack rolled her eyes, as she'd been doing for the past ten minutes of this particular conversation.
"Apology accepted, Applejack. At least you've taken the first step: admitting that there's a problem. Now we just need a lot of ponies with a lot of spare time to get a lot of signatures."
Twilight sighed again, while the farm pony fell behind from having stopped to slap a hoof to her face.
"Look, I'm just saying, just because everything in this universe is sickeningly cute doesn't mean you can't throw some badass names around every once in a while. I mean, just look at Captain Regis over there! He may be cute as a button, but at least he has a semi-acceptable name... Actually, he'd make a fantastic talk-show host."
Shawn was sure he'd spoken more than loudly enough for the stallion to hear, but "The Cap'n" (as Shawn had taken to calling the stoic soldier in his own mind) seemed to have a lot of practice at holding a poker face. The Cap'n was leading them through a series of back alleys and tunnels, studiously avoiding any main streets or avenues with large crowds. So far, the group had managed to attract very little attention from the denizens, the few they'd encountered quickly being stared into quietly panicked submission by the gruff guard pony.
With a third and probably-not-final sigh, Twilight looked back at the rest of her friends for help, finding none. Her staunchest ally so far, Applejack, had apparently given up and was hanging back. Rainbow Dash had flown off, too impatient to follow with the rest of the group when she already knew where they were headed. Rarity was keeping her peace, probably unwilling to jump into an argument she had openly stated was nonsensical. And Pinkie Pie was... well... being Pinkie Pie. More specifically, she was eating cupcakes out of the cartoonishly overfull saddlebags she'd brought along, to Twilight's chagrin.
How is she carrying all that? Shawn wondered for the nth time.
He'd secretly tried to lift one of the bags while they'd still been sitting behind the counter at Sugarcube Corner, but had been unable to even budge it. Apparently, it was a mystery to the rest of the mares as well, so he'd resolved to not think about it... which was causing him to think about it. At least he didn't have to lug all those gifts he'd gotten in Ponyville through the city streets, Pinkie having magically found room for them in the bags.
A commotion in one of the alleys that intersected their path broke him away from his thoughts.
There were a lot of ponies crowding the small alleyway, each trying to get a look at whatever was at the center, while a group of Royal Guards in shining golden armor tried vainly to break up the gawkers. He wasn't sure, but Shawn thought a lot of them looked like they were about to be sick.
The Cap'n looked torn. Shawn figured the dour stallion's every instinct was shouting at him to step in and impose order on what could, if one were feeling charitable, be called a serious clusterfuck of a crime-scene. For a moment, it looked like The Cap'n's orders to escort the princesses' guests would win out, until a panicked, charcoal-grey unicorn in guard regalia spotted him and galloped over.
"Captain Aegis, sir! Thank Celestia you're here!"
Their little group stopped as The Cap'n paused to address the fellow guard.
"What's the matter, Private? Why haven't you gotten the civvies cleared out?"
"It's... It's another one, sir..." The grey pony looked on the verge of tears.
The Cap'n's eyes grew wide and his mouth formed into a pained grimace, "That's the third one this month..." He whispered, apparently not realizing it was loud enough for Shawn to hear.
That may or may not have had something to do with the fact that Shawn was now almost directly behind him.
"What's your name, Private?"
"Private Fleet Hoof, reporting for duty, sir!"
"Alright, Fleet Hoof, send a runner to headquarters requesting backup immediately... and make sure they send somepony to let the princesses know that their guests are going to be a little late." The Cap'n turned to look at Twilight, not showing the least bit of surprise at finding Shawn was right there as well, "I apologize, Miss Sparkle, but I'm going to need to use your escort to clear the area and establish a perimeter. At least, until reinforcements arrive. Please wait here with your friends and the alien until then."
"What's going on Captain? Did something happen?" Twilight looked worried, shooting uncertain glances at the crowd.
The stallion paused, obviously carefully considering his answer, "There have been a series of... incidents... in and around the trading district. Nothing serious, ma'am. We'll just get it sorted out quickly and get moving."
Seriously? That's the most obviously rehearsed yarn I've ever heard in my life! There's no way she's going to buy th-
"Oh, good!" Twilight giggled in relief before trotting back to her friends, "It's ok guys, just a minor delay."
Shawn stared after her, trying to comprehend what had just happened. How could she not recognize such an obvious crime-scene?
He considered the possibility that he was over-thinking this... Twilight had basically told him there was little to no crime in Equestria. And his detective's instinct wouldn't be properly calibrated for a utopia full of polychromatic sentient ponies.
Chuckling at the thought, he was turning to leave when the wind shifted and the smell hit him.
The ponies in the crowd didn't just look sick, many had obviously been sick. Below that stench, however, was the sharp tang of something he'd never expected to find in this fantasy-land.
Blood...
----------------------------------------
Captain Aegis Fidelis didn't think of himself as a grizzled veteran. Not to say that he wasn't... but he liked to think that he still upheld the ideals that drove him to the Royal Guard with the same fervor that he had 20 years ago as a private.
Even joining Princess Celestia's personal guard and being awarded a Hero's Title had not distanced him from his original purpose: Protect every pony in Equestria from any threat... even from themselves, if necessary.
It was, in fact, the inspiration for the surname that had been granted to him by the Sun Princess herself: Aegis Fidelis, ancient Equestrian for Loyal Shield.
It was to his great frustration and sadness, then, that three of the many ponies under his protection had died in the last month. Under his watch, no less. It didn't matter that every death so far had been ruled a suicide, it was all the Royal Guard could do to prevent a panic in the city.
The population of Canterlot was rightly concerned. In the entirety of the Royal Guard's records, dating back to the Battle of the Sun and Moon when the Royal Archives had burned down, there were a total of 4 recorded suicides. The last one on the night of Nightmare Moon's escape before the Elements of Harmony reverted the monster into the Moon Princess.
It wasn't that deaths never happened in Canterlot. Put that many ponies together in such close quarters and accidents were bound to happen now and again. It was a sad but true fact every member of the Royal Guard had come to terms with in their own way. Suicide, however, was a whole other matter. Nopony could be prepared for something like that.
Four in a thousand years. Then, all of a sudden, it's three in a month. Aegis's thoughts were interrupted by another nervous guard. The pegasus mare had apparently been trying to get his attention for some time now, but he'd been too busy pondering the feeling in his gut that there was more to this than a rash of chronically depressed merchant ponies. What that something was, he could only guess.
"What is it, Private?"
"Sir! Private Wintery Wing reporting! Ummm..."
"Spit it out, Private!"
She looked back over her shoulder at the growing empty space around the unfortunate pony's body, "Is... Is It really ok for your side-kick to be going over the... body... like that?"
Captain Aegis stopped, trying to process what the relatively new recruit had just said, "I'm sorry... my what?"
"Your... your side-kick... Kato Holmes? I hadn't realized you worked that closely with a talking ape, sir."
Wintery Wing blanched... an impressive feat for a bleach-white pegasus, but Aegis was well aware that lesser ponies had fainted at the look that currently graced his countenance. He made a note to recommend her for a commendation on the basis of bravery in the face of imminent violence as he stomped back into the alleyway.
-----------------------------------------
Shawn slipped the tarp back over the face of the dark brown earth pony sprawled on the ground before him. Someon-... Somepony had at least closed the poor colt's eyes before hiding his body from the general public.
It hadn't taken much to get past the cordon and get a closer look at the scene. The young mare he'd talked to was obviously new, both to her job and death in general, which was why he'd targeted her in the first place. He'd been helped along by her immense confusion at being addressed by what she probably thought was a monkey someone had found and dressed up in a suit.
"Hehe... monkey suit..."
Shawn figured he still had another couple of minutes to look around before she got her act together enough to go confirm that he was supposed to be there. By that point, he'd be (hopefully) safely hiding behind the (hopefully) impenetrable wall of Twilight and her friends.
Taking note of the position of the body one last time, Shawn looked up to the 5th floor window the pony had fallen from. It was hard for him to tell whether the broken neck or the busted skull had been what killed the colt... normally he'd bribe Woody for the information, but that wasn't really an option at the moment since his coroner friend was currently in a different universe.
Still, this wouldn't be Shawn's first time working a case without police resources.
He made his way around the body, trying to eyeball the angle of the fall. The pony was several feet away from the the building, back legs toward the wall and with shards of glass from the shattered window spread out around him. Some of it crunched under the sole of Shawn's new boots as he walked past the victim's head, making sure to avoid stepping in the blood-splatter.
"This wasn't an accident..." He muttered to himself.
"Of course, not. It was a suicide."
Shawn ignored the gruff voice coming from behind him as he kneeled to get a closer look at some of the glass shards, "Maybe..."
"Indeed..." Again, the voice breathed hotly onto his neck.
"Ok, seriously Lassie, you need to start carrying breath mints or someth-..." It came to Shawn, at that moment, that Lassie had not made the inter-dimensional trip with him. This fact left only two possibilities: Either the gruff police detective had found a way to haunt him while still alive, or Shawn's evening was about to get off to a very bad start.
Being careful to avoid making any sudden movements, Shawn slowly got to his feet. Until now, he hadn't realized quite how big The Cap'n was for a pony. The stallion only had to tilt his head up a bit to direct his steely glare into Shawn's eyes. Despite his slight height advantage, Shawn had never felt smaller or more fragile in his entire life.
"I'm inclined to ask what you're doing trampling all over my evidence, alien... but I'm even more inclined to skip straight to the part where I toss you face-first back into the alley." The guard pony advanced, wings out (as if he needed to look any bigger) and head down in an aggressive posture.
Shawn could only let out a whimper before the stallion lunged forward and his world became a vibrant shade of... purple?
He looked around frantically, fighting off a sense of vertigo as he realized he was now standing behind an outraged Twilight. Had she just teleported him!?
"Captain Aegis Fidelis, what do you think you're doing!?"
The Cap'n, now facing the purple mare, grunted in irritation before shooting Shawn a frustrated glare, "Your monkey was messing around with my evidence, Miss Sparkle! I was simply going to... explain... to him why he shouldn't do that."
"Shawn, here, was probably just curious. And what I saw looked less like explaining and more like an attempt at outright violence against a personal guest of the princesses, Captain!"
The stallion winced at her emphasis on his official rank, visibly calming himself as his wings folded themselves back onto his body, "I apologize, Miss Sparkle. This suicide business has us all on edge." His eyes widened as he seemed to realize what he had just said.
For her part, Twilight had turned sheet-white, finally having spotted the tarp-covered body behind the guard pony she'd been chewing out, "S-Suicide...?"
Shawn stepped forward and, in a rare moment of seriousness, tried putting a comforting hand on her withers.
Her sudden shift from white to green at that moment would have made a chameleon proud.
"Ex-Excuse me for a moment..." Twilight muttered as she galloped into the adjacent alley, followed closely by the unpleasant sounds of a pony voiding her stomach.
"Cap'n, I know this isn't the best ti-"
"Not a word from you, chimp. This is all your fault." The low intensity in The Cap'n's voice belied the barely restrained anger behind it. With a huff, the large pegasus turned to greet the reinforcements he'd asked for.
Shawn found himself standing alone at the intersection of the alleys that comprised their group's path and the crime scene. The sun lay low in the sky, too low for the orange light to reach past the city wall and illuminate the quiet backstreet.
Suicide, huh?
Maybe Shawn didn't fully understand the rules of the idyllic world he had found himself in. He'd barely been there two days and had already seen many of the physical laws he'd previously understood as immutable broken with nary a second thought.
However, as Shawn made his way further down the path to where the rest of the mares waited, he came to a conclusion: Whether on Earth or in Equestria, some things always added up to foul play.
--------------------------------------------
Having gotten the news about the delay, the princesses had opted to play it safe and push the dinner back by an hour. Ironically, this resulted in the group's arriving half an hour early.
Shawn found himself in a large, luxurious waiting room, anxiously waiting for the right moment to broach his suspicions with Twilight. However, the mare had refused to speak with anyone at all since she'd seen the body. Inevitably, her friends had tried to get her to talk about it, only upsetting her further.
Sighing, Shawn decided he should try to get some air and set out to find a maid. He'd found himself pleasantly surprised at the relaxed attitudes of the servant ponies in the castle. Either they were exceptionally well trained, or strange, talking creatures were a fairly common occurrence.
He suspected it was a mix of the two. From what he remembered of what Twilight had told him about foreign relations with the Griffonian Empire and the United Diamond Dog Tribes, Equestria's two nearest neighbors kept active embassies somewhere in the capital.
Eventually, somepony was kind enough to direct him to the gardens, which sported a ridiculously convoluted hedge-maze, several decorative statues, and an enormous sundial near the entrance. It was all very grand and Shawn contemplated trying his hand at the maze before deciding he would not have enough time before dinner with the princesses.
The princesses.
Whether by accident or design, Twilight had completely failed to inform him as to what to expect during the meal. Would it be formal, with two dozen rules specifying how he should hold his spoon? Would he insult his only ticket home the first time he tried to take a bite of the appetizer? Would they even have spoons, for that matter?
So far, he'd only seen them eat by taking the food directly from the plate with their mouths. Would he be expected to do the same? He wasn't sure he wanted to repeat his pitiful performance in the bobbing for apples game at the party.
Disconsolate, Shawn stopped and picked up a flat, red pebble, bouncing it up and down in his hand a few times before chucking into a nearby hedgerow.
"Oh!"
Or maybe through a nearby hedgerow. Shawn grimaced before calling out through the apparently-not-so-impenetrable wall of green, "Sorry!"
"It's quite alright!" A voice, melodic in a sweet and matronly sort of way, called back. It could have belonged to a young mare or a mother in her prime. There was a sort of... unknowable quality to it. As if he'd forget what it sounded like the moment he stopped hearing it.
"You ok?" Shawn stepped closer to the hedge, curious.
"Don't worry, I was merely surprised. I must admit, that does not happen very often." Whoever the mare was, her easy laugh made it clear she had a good sense of humor.
Pausing, it occurred to Shawn that he was speaking to a new pony without all the awkwardness and questions that had so far come with every first encounter. He found it refreshing, even if he did occasionally enjoy seeing ponies' reactions to the first time he spoke.
The other voice had paused as well, seemingly lost in her own ruminations, "And what brings you to Canterlot Castle, gentlecolt?"
"Sightseeing." Shawn responded quickly.
"Sightseeing?"
"Never seen a castle before. Thought it was about time I did... maybe even catch a glimpse of the princesses, you know?" It occurred to him he had no idea what they looked like.
"Oh? And what distant land do you hail from that you've never seen a castle before?" Her tone of voice gave away the joke. In fact, he'd noticed a slight undercurrent of concealed mirth in everything the mare had said.
He wasn't sure what she found funny about it, yet he still couldn't help laughing along with her, "Ponyville, actually."
"Oh? That's not so far away... did you grow tired of viewing it from afar?"
Shawn cursed himself. He hadn't known the castle was visible from the little town. At least she'd provided an easy out, "Pretty much. I meant I've never seen a castle up-close."
She paused to chuckle again, "You know, it wasn't that long ago that I visited there, myself. Can I ask your name, gentlecolt?"
Crap... He hadn't thought that one through, Quick, say something! Anything!
In a panic, he mumbled, "Horsey McHooferton." Dammit!
"I'm... sorry?"
Louder, "I said, my name's Rosy Plankton." Nice save!
"Oh! That's a very nice name, Rosy. Are you a gardener?"
"It's why I'm out here instead of inside. How about you?"
"My name or why I'm out here?"
"How about both?" Shawn was grinning, though he kept glancing over at the sundial. He'd need to head back soon...
"Well, sometimes I like to visit the gardens to meditate. I have a... stressful job. One that a lot of ponies count on me to do, so it's nice to get away from the formalities once in a while."
"Ho ho, so I guess I'm talking to some sort of big shot, eh?"
"Does it bother you?"
The question was strangely serious, so he actually gave it some thought.
"Nah. I've never really put a lot of stock on authority." Shawn found himself leaning against the hedge, "I've met a lot of peo-... ponies who acted like they were important. Who demanded respect from everyone they met... but they always ended up just isolating themselves."
For a moment, he thought the pony was going say something, but she only cleared her throat, so he continued.
"You know, I've always thought that if someone was important... I mean, actually important, they wouldn't care as much about how others treated them, because real respect shows through no matter how people act around you." He stopped and chuckled, "I'm not really making any sense, am I?"
The voice was quiet for a minute, before answering wryly, "You cannot comprehend how much sense you just made, Rosy."
They both laughed comfortably for a short while, before something occurred to Shawn, "Hey, wait a second, you never told me yo-"
"Oh my! Is it 8:30 already? Where did the time go?"
OH SHIT
"Never mind! Sorry, gotta go! I'm late for a very important date!"
If he was lucky, Twilight would still be too preoccupied with her thoughts to notice when he got back.
----------------------------------------
He was decidedly NOT lucky.
In fact, it could be said that he had somehow managed to be NOT lucky to the power of six, as that was how many sets of eyes were glaring daggers at him when he burst into the room, huffing and puffing from the run through the long hallways.
Well, Fluttershy wasn't really glaring as much as looking decidedly disappointed and uncomfortable... which, on further analysis, Shawn decided was somehow worse.
"Shawn! Where have you been!? We're almost late!" Twilight was fuming.
Better than when she's sulking, I guess... wait, "Almost?"
"Princess Luna was held up raising the moon. If she hadn't, you would have been the first foreign diplomat in 100 years to snub the princesses by making them wait on you."
Shawn took a quick peek outside, finding that the sun had fully sunk below the horizon, leaving a beautiful, twilit sky in its wake.
"But we're not late, right?"
"Well, no.... but, that's not the po-"
"Sparky, don't be a fascist emperor penguin. No harm, no foul. That's the rule."
"Bu- wha...? You...! I..."
Shawn gave her his best raised eyebrow until she wound down into sullen muttering. At that point, one of the servants started waving a white-clad hoof, signaling for them to enter.
Stepping toward the doorway, Shawn called back, "Come on, you're gonna make us late!"
The rest of Twilight's friends were too busy trying not to giggle to notice the small smile that played across her face for a moment.
Good.
The seven of them entered the dining room. Well... Shawn was pretty sure it was a dining room. Had he stepped into a Harry Potter movie when he wasn't looking? No, no... Way too colorful. Beauty and the Beast? Less talking furniture more magical lighting.
In either case, the room was gigantic, as if designed to be a banquet hall. Brightly lit, predominantly gold or gold plated, with intricate filigree of various colors and detail, and...
"Tassels..." He shuddered. Rarity, either being the only one within range or possessing superpony hearing when pertaining to fashion, shot him a strange look as she took her place on a cushion at the round table.
Shawn was thankful she had refrained from asking him about it. His irrational fear of tassels was surpassed only by his slightly less irrational (but far greater) fear of pointy objects. Neither were subjects Shawn liked to talk about, seeing as how not even he really understood how or at what point they had developed. They simply had.
Once again, Shawn found himself in the same table-height conundrum that he had back at Sugarcube Corner. He was about to say something to Twilight when he heard a clunk. Looking back, he saw Pinkie Pie giving him an ear-to-ear grin, having just set down what appeared to be the very same stool she'd cobbled together for him back then. He would have felt more touched at the gesture had he not been so busy trying to figure out where in the hell she'd pulled that stool out from.
A servant pony suddenly stepped into view, offering a platter full of tiny sandwiches stuffed with what appeared to be grass, which Shawn declined.
They spent the next few minutes like that, nervously waiting for the arrival of the princesses and filling up on tiny snacks. Or, in Shawn's case, just nervously waiting.
Twilight sat to his left, while two empty cushions lay directly to his right. They were far more embroidered than the others and were the only two left open after the rest of his pony acquaintances had taken their own seats.
Being a detective by trade, it didn't take him long to realize what that meant.
"Uhhhh... Sparky..."
Twilight ignored him, continuing to slowly chew on her tiny sandwich.
"Ugh, fine... Twilight?"
The mare gulped it down and gave him a distracted half-smile, "Yes, Shawn?"
"Why am I sitting next to one of the princesses?"
"That would be because Princess Celestia herself requested that you sit at her left hoof. I imagine she'll want to chat with you."
Shawn digested this for a moment, looking down at the empty plate in front of him.
At seeing this, Twilight's smile widened, "You're not... nervous at meeting the princesses, are you?"
Eyes narrowed, Shawn returned Twilight's gaze, "I-"
He was cut off as the large double-doors at the other end of the room swung open and a small, blue unicorn colt stepped through and to the side.
"Presenting: Her majesty, Princess Celestia, Dawnbriger and High Regent of the Court of the Eternal Sun. And her majesty, Princess Luna, Guardian Star and High Regent of the Court of the Ethereal Moon. All rise."
Shawn, Twilight, and the rest of the ponies stood as two large shadows slowly stepped through the grand entrance.
At first, all Shawn could discern about the two figures was that they were tall. One more so than the other, but both considerably above the eye-level of any of the other ponies he'd met so far.
As they stepped further into the light emitted by the floating magical spheres dispersed throughout the room, more details became clear. For once, however, Shawn wasn't looking at the details. He was not fazed by the sheer regal splendor of the two sleek, winged mares of brilliant white and spectral blue. Nor did he pay any mind to their manes, one a soft rainbow of light, the other an endless field of stars, both flowing with an unfelt breeze.
No, what caught his full and undivided attention were the long, majestic, and exceedingly pointy looking horns they sported.
Fighting a rising sense of discomfort, Shawn surreptitiously poked at Twilight as the two rulers of Equestria slowly made their way through a double-line of bowing servants to their small table in the center of the room.
"What is it?" she whispered, never taking her eyes off the approaching princesses.
"Do you wanna switch seats? I kinda wanna switch seats."
"What? Why?"
"Me and pointy things... we do don't mix so well."
"What... Are you telling me you're scared of Princess Celestia's horn?"
"I am not scared... I just don't trust her not to impale me, accidentally."
In the back of Shawn's mind, one of the bits currently not panicking, he noted that both he and Twilight were starting to whisper faster and louder, eliciting strange looks from the rest of the table.
"How can you... I have a horn too, and you haven't been scared of me!"
"Your horn is fat, tiny, and dull. She's got a pike sticking out of her face!"
"Spear, Shawn. You mean, spear. A pike has a hook sticking out of the back."
"Only if you're fishing with very unusual bait."
"That doesn't make any sense! And my horn is not fat!"
"Oh, god... don't tell me that's, like, a thing with you guys. You know what? I take it back. I refuse to be held responsible for your impending bout of hornorexia."
"Shawn, now is not the time for this type of foalishness!"
"Would you prefer a different type of foalishness? I don't even know what that is!"
Before Twilight, who was now sweating bullets, could respond, the princesses finally reached their seats at the table. Shawn tried to scoot his stool over a bit, but found that Twilight's rear hoof was firmly planted on its side.
"Princess Celestia! Thank you so much for inviting all of us to this wonderful dinner! We're all very honored to be here." Twilight spoke through a tight smile.
"I'm happy you were able to make it on such short notice, my little ponies." Celestia's own smile was beatific.
"We- I, am glad you were able to attend, as well, Twilight Sparkle." The other princess added in a strained voice.
Shawn was sitting perfectly still, under the assumption that pony goddesses worked somewhat like T. rex, when something about the white princesses's voice struck a chord of memory in his head. He looked up, to find said sun-deity smiling at him.
"You must be Shawn Spencer. I feel like we've met before, with how much Twilight Sparkle has written about you. It is a pleasure to meet you in person."
"She did? I mean... same here?" Flustered, Shawn found that his hand had somehow managed to point itself at the princess. He imagined it was somewhat like trying to shake hands with the Queen of England... only if the Queen were taller than him... and a winged unicorn.
"HA HA HA HA. Oh, Shawn, you're such a kidder! Isn't he such a kidder, Princess?" Twilight cut in, hair now completely in disarray.
"It's quite alright, Twilight Sparkle," Celestia shook her head, an undercurrent of mirth in her voice, before tapping his hand with her hoof. The way she did it, she somehow managed to retain the grace and dignity of her office.
The rest of the ponies looked on, wide-eyed, while Twilight apparently lost motor control of her jaw. Pinkie Pie was happily stuffing her face full of tiny cupcakes.
Shawn was also frozen, having forgotten all fear while a familiar phrase ran laps in his head: It's quite alright.
It can't be...
The princess held her smile as she continued, "I must say, Shawn, you don't look much like what I expected. By Twilight's descriptions, I hadn't pictured you quite as... dressed up."
He nodded over to Rarity, "You can thank her for that."
"Ah, of course. I should have recognized her work sooner. It's been all over Canterlot since her last visit."
The fashionista preened at the praise, while the rest of the ponies seemed to relax a little bit. Pinkie Pie continued barreling through a year's supply of hors d'oeuvres.
Gaining confidence from the pink pony's casual attitude, Shawn continued, "I gotta say, your majesty-"
"Celestia." She interrupted, "This is simply a shared meal between friends, not a formal affair."
"Call us, Luna, as well... please."
Shawn grinned, his suspicions gaining traction, "Celestia and Luna, got it. Anyway, I was just going to say that you don't look anything like I expected either."
"Oh, and what were you expecting, Shawn Spencer?"
"Okay, first of all, if we're going by first names, then it's just Shawn... or Slick... or Superfly. Any of those will do."
Celestia's smile widened, almost imperceptibly, while Luna looked at Twilight as if asking for an explanation. The purple mare clearly had none and was back to sweating at the increasingly informal tone of the conversation.
"And second of all, I was expecting someon-pony... somepony like them," he gestured at the rest of the non-royal mares around the table, "Not giant, horned pegasuses. Pegasusus? Pegasususesus..."
"It's pegasi, Shawn." Twilight cut in.
"That."
The seemingly stoic sun-princess cleared her throat, not quite covering the laugh that slipped out, "We are called alicorns."
He nodded, "I guess 'horned pegasus' is a bit of a mouthful."
"It is at that."
The food arrived, cutting the conversation short as the servant ponies presented a veritable banquet of what Shawn assumed were Equestrian delicacies.
There was a brief moment of awkward indecision on his part, which was broken by Celestia simply levitating several portions to her plate, an unsurprisingly golden glow suffusing whatever foods she chose.
And so the meal went.
Various greens were consumed. Pleasantries were exchanged. The story of Shawn's arrival was recounted by those involved. And a surprisingly relaxed and pleasant evening was had by all.
At least, until the very end, when the conversation switched to his job back in his world.
"Twilight had mentioned you were a 'detective' in her letter. An investigator, of sorts, as I understand it." The sun princess addressed him over desert.
"Yup." Shawn was working his way through the most delicious banana split he'd ever tasted.
"I also saw a report from Captain Aegis Fidelis, complaining about your behavior at the scene of a certain... incident earlier this evening."
Shawn nearly choked on a piece of banana, having to take a drink of water to suppress a coughing fit.
The princess waited patiently for him to finish before continuing to speak, though more quietly, "It saddens me terribly when a tragedy like that occurs, as I care deeply for every one of my little ponies." She smiled sadly, "I am old enough to know that I cannot be there for every single one of them in their hour of need, yet I cannot help feeling personally responsible."
This is exactly what Twilight was trying to tell me, Shawn realized, Three in the last month... must be tearing her up inside. And she probably doesn't even know what really happened.
"Princess-"
"Celestia... please."
"Celestia, that was no su-" Recalling Twilight's reaction, he lowered his voice further, "Suicide."
Her eyes widened, "You think it was an accident, after all?"
"No... That pony was murdered."
A plate crashed to the floor, the servant mare who had been taking his half-finished desert staring at him in horror. Actually, every single set of eyes in the room was now quietly trained on him.
Well... crap...
----------------------------------------
Captain Aegis Fidelis sat behind his desk, pondering the panoply of notes and reports spread before him.
Diamond Dogs causing disturbances in the trade district that nopony would testify to. Griffon diplomats increasing the number of honor guards stationed in their embassy. A marked increase in the number of fatal accidents happening in unexpected places.
And three suicides...
All of it had started roughly a year ago with the official appointment of the ambassador for the United Diamond Dog Tribes.
He couldn't help but feel that it was all connected somehow.
"Captain Aegis, sir."
The captain looked up from his desk, grateful for the distraction from his grim thoughts, "What is it, Lieutenant?"
Lieutenant Gladius stood at attention in front of his desk. The charcoal-grey unicorn mare was one of only 4 currently living ponies who had received a Hero's Title. In his opinion, her valiant actions during the Diamond Dog Rebellion in the south, which had eventually lead to the establishment of their embassy in Canterlot, had merited the high honors.
"We have received a priority-one message via teleportation... directly from her highness, Princess Celestia."
His eyebrows must have disappeared into his helmet, "And the message?"
"It states that Royal Guard Headquarters will 'receive an unscheduled visit from the princesses of the Sun and Moon regarding an important matter.'"
"Interesti-"
"It goes on, sir..."
The captain waited for her as she paused, seemingly trying to puzzle out the rest of the missive.
"She... it states that they will be bringing guests..."
Oh no...
"One of whom you are familiar with, though he is new to the city."
No. No no no no.
"And that you should prepare to present all relevant information regarding the recent rash of... incidents... as you will be working closely with their guests until such time as the investigation into the matter is completed."
Lieutenant Gladius shot him a questioning look as, from his point of view, the whole room took on a distinctive shade of red.
"Thank you, Lieutenant. Dismissed." He forced the words past a stiffened jaw.
She seemed to recognize the signs of his impending fury and quickly stepped out, closing the door behind her.
Every guard-pony in HQ heard the magnificently loud crash that followed, though the only visible reaction was from the quartermaster, who made a note to have a new desk delivered to the captain's office.