Dear Diary,
Today at school went much better then yesterday. Most ponies seemed to find it preferable to avoid me, which I cannot blame them for, the incident with the colt was deplorable. I know that now.
I saw him today… I actually learnt his name; Sly Starburn. The cast that he had on his right foreleg made it very difficult for him to flee when he noticed me approaching. The fear on his face didn’t bring me the same pleasure that I thought it would. Before the nightmare, I liked seeing the fearful respect on the faces of my subjects, but the look that Sly gave me… It honestly broke my heart.
Even though Tia talked me out of the jewel encrusted horseshoe, I still felt obligated to give him something to say sorry. I came up with a box of chocolates at the suggestion of one of my personal guards. He reluctantly accepted it, but still asked me to stay away, promising that he wouldn’t harass me anymore. I suppose that it IS what I wanted to happen, but the cost; Sly’s broken bone, being treated as a Martyr… Was it worth it all?
Speaking of my personal guards, I am not too certain about their true intent. I have my suspicions that they are more loyal to Tia than to me. I have seen them reporting to Shining Armour whenever I decide to do something myself other than the activities that Tia has ‘approved.’ I think that I shall have to find guards that truly care for me, that truly wish to dedicate their lives for my safety. Unfortunately, it requires some… changes of lifestyle, such as the altering of their bodies to better represent their new posting. Bat-like wings, black fur, and yellow, cat-like eyes. There are only two policies from the old times that I never liked and will surely abolish, such the removal of the genitals, so as to prevent any chance of temptation regarding their charge, which in this case would be me. The other one is being forbidden from a family of any sort, even contact with their parents or siblings. To me, it always seemed cruel to deny them these things, but it was what was expected from the knights of the moon. I took a look at the roster of available guards and there are only three that always ask for more shifts guarding me, two stallions and a mare. Their names are Swift, Silver Wing and the mare is named Heartstrings. I will approach them within the next few days and offer them the position. I don’t believe I will tell Tia right away, lest she deny me my personal choice in protectors for whatever reason.
Bed time I think, I must get ready for school tomorrow. We have a field trip to the local observatory and I am very excited to see the place that studies my work… Even if it isn’t my work. I must ask Celestia for some more responsibilities regarding the night. It’s beginning to get frustrating the way that she never puts the Libra and Gemini constellations in the right place. I must refrain from too much naysaying regarding my sister. I don’t want her spies getting the wrong idea.