It took every ounce of my patience to get through that 'party'... Party... more like pain. Pinkie was never quiet, friendly but loud. Rainbow a braggart, but get her talking and tune her out. Fluttershy was tolerable in that she seemed almost afraid of me. Twilight had been pumping me for information, almost outright interrogating me. I'm proud to say I kept some secrets... some. Rarity was... polite enough and seemed content to day dream when I told her about my encounter with Velvet. Applejack kept a respectful distance.
Still, I had learned about what's called a sugar crash when all the energy left my body in moments. It had been a good excuse to bail from the party without making any enemies. It had taken a bit to find, but there had been six heavily muted auras of magic. Furthermore these six sources of magic were tied to the six newcomers.
I'm finally alone after exaggerating just how exhausted I am. It's time. This has gone too far and... I have to do it.
I have to speak to my family. My real family. I shuffled around until I was sitting upright on my bed, my legs are crossed in front of me and I clench every muscle in my body. Bit by bit I release the tension loosening my flesh and bone. Comforting my soul for the journey ahead. I reach inside myself and find the essence. My core. My soul. Energy enters it, and I float free of my flesh and bone. I drift for a moment before observing the physical plane. I see myself. I'm a tiny, scraggly looking alicorn. My horn is glowing ghostly green. I see from my body as well and I see my near featureless spirit, a point of light is glowing just below the hairline.
“The crown chakra...” I say remembering the Eastern mages. I focus and I feel threads of longing and hope connecting to me from elsewhere. The threads also feel of something almost unknown. The threads feel of love, unconditional and untainted by lust. I can now find my family. I turn to face towards the source of the threads. They look like they head into nothingness, but I follow them anyways fading through a stone wall and I drift through worlds.
The roiling energy of the place between places batters at my unbound soul, but I weather the storm unharmed. I wrap around nothingness, and I appear human as I step out onto a field of clovers and wildflowers. I look down and see that I am once again in my twenties. I am here and strong but... I am not. I can still feel my mortal flesh. It takes a moment to do so at a distance, and my body ignores it's sight. I am no longer distracted
A sense of incredible peace fills my soul. Then a sense of wrongness joins it. I am standing upon the Elysium Fields, and I am not welcome. I walk forwards regardless, following the threads to wherever they may lead. Time blurs as I walk through paradise, animals come and stare at me. They judge and then follow. My procession grows larger as I am led towards a snow capped mountain in the distance.
“You do not have to escort me. I do not intend to bring harm to anyone.” I say turning to the animals and they simply freeze. Then without any sense of approach there is something behind me. Something between me and the souls of my family. I turn to face it, it's an angel.
“What are you doing here Necromancer?” It demands in an unfamiliar language that I understand regardless. I take a step back and bow respectfully. This is a being beyond gender, composed of purest energies. A soul made ultimate manifest. I can not possibly do it harm. I close my eyes.
“I am here to seek the forgiveness and council of my slain kinsmen. I have no desire to bring evil into paradise.” I tell it and it glares at me. It's wings of pure light flail outward and it huffs. I don't dare to look it in the eyes. The light will only burn me. It's moving but I keep my eyes closed. If this is it, then there is no way I can run fast enough or fight hard enough to survive.
“Very well. You may go, but you will be watched.” it tells me and I open my eyes in surprise. I meet it's gaze and I'm drawn into the light. “Enough of that.” It tells me closing its eyes. “They are at the mountain fortress. They enjoy the dry air and crisp winds.” it says without passion pointing towards the mountain beyond it.
“Thank you holy one. You are most generous.” I tell it and it grunts and is suddenly gone. I can feel the eyes of... something on me. I walk forwards towards the mountain, a feeling of discomfort arises as the sense of wrongness grows. Something is clearly unhappy that I'm here. I keep walking, and after a little while I notice that rather than being followed I am avoided.
The distance has folded in upon itself, and I am already at the foot of the mountain. The journey of a day has been finished in a moment. There is a path ahead of me. It is well groomed and I find myself in warm clothing. It appears that so long as one is within Elysium, all your needs are provided.
I start to walk up the steps, and just as I round the corner I realize I have somehow just climbed the mountain. “So do you only experience the journey if you wish to?” I ask the empty air not expecting an answer.
“No. This plane is accommodating to souls. Its very nature will aid you in your travels.” an unfamiliar voice says from the empty air. It was in the same language the angel used.
“I see. Thank you.” I tell the air and I get a slight feeling of gratitude from it. I walk forwards again. The strings are growing in strength. They feel more like twisted metals then twisted fibres.
“You!” A woman's voice shouts and it takes me a moment to place it. I turn to my right just in time to get a punch right across the face. I stumble for a moment and right myself. “You stupid little idiot! Do you know how guilty it made us feel when you shattered your name?” she demands before hugging me tightly. She's tiny but strong... tanned with auburn hair. Yes, definitely my mother.
“Mom... I'm so sorry.” I say returning the hug. I'm fighting back tears at this point. I... I didn't know I could cry as just a spirit. “I'm sorry that... that my enemies...” I begin almost sobbing. That horrible day burning in the back of my mind. She pulls away and puts a finger my lips.
“It was never your fault.” She tells me. “We could feel you, the whole time.” she tells me.
“What? You mean I gave you my pain?! I'm so sorry!” I tell her holding her tightly, tears flowing freely now.
“No, not that. It was never that. Stop being so hard on yourself!” she tells me and I look down on her with a bit of shock. Was she always this small? “You never forgot us. You always held us close, and we could feel it. Why do you think I feel so horrible for being forced to forget your name!?” she demands me.
“Mom... I was being attacked by it. I didn't have time for anything else!” I protest and she snorts.
“No excuses young man! Do you have any idea how horrified we were!? I thought you'd been erased from existence and all our memories were about to go!” she wails before punching me in the gut again. I'd forgotten how much she was the tough love type.
“I'm sorry. I should... I should have visited sooner.” I admit.
“You're damn right you should! Still... I do understand why you didn't.” she says and I sigh deeply. “Wait here a minute.” she tells me and rushes off, fading away in a moment. I only have time to contemplate a way to do something similar... maybe summoning my body so I can teleport across dimensions...
“Brother!” A man shouts and one of my older and still larger siblings slams into me, and picks me off the ground with a hug.
“Jacob!” I grunt, this actually hurts he's squeezing so hard. “I'm still alive, watch it!” I half shout at him and he drops me. I barely manage to stay on my feet. I look up and meet his eyes. They're glowing. “Are you... ascending?” I ask in shock. Jacob... the muscle-head with nothing in his skull is ascending?
“Yea... I wasn't able to get anything done in life. So I figured I'd get moving in death.” he said with a grin. Wasn't this the same jerk that stole my treats as a child?
“Good on you. I'm honestly impressed.” I say simply and he claps me on the back.
“Move aside you big brute!” A more grizzled voice shouts and a thick brown haired man in his mid thirties with a beard and a leathery tan steps around Jacob. He's as tall as I am and smiling broadly. I decide to beat him to the chase and hug him.
“Hey dad.” I say and he returns the hug.
“Good to see you again boy. You really scared the whole clan when you pulled that no-name stunt.” He said and I'm positive he's hiding a grin. “Hold on a mo'” he says pulling away and grabbing my chin before turning my head one way than the other. “Bloody hell you're still alive! How long do you want to keep going?!” he demands in shock. “The rest of the family has already moved on for Pete's sake!”
“What!? They're gone?” I ask in shock and he pulls his hand away looking nervous.
“Well... some others showed up in Elysium saying that you killed them and was some kind of monster or something. We figured you'd end up going... somewhere else.” he says and I look away in shame.
“I probably will... I'm not welcome here...” I admit and Jacob puts his hand on my shoulder.
“You're better than you think you are brother. You wouldn't be able to be here at all if you weren't.” Jacob says and I put my hand over his and smile. It's shockingly comforting.
“Thank you.” I say quietly, I've missed so much because I was too much of a coward to come.
“You came for something else though. Merciful Action told me of his encounter with you.” Jacob says and I blink.
“His? I couldn't tell...”I mutter and Jacob chuckles at this. He looks around as if nervous than leans in.
“Neither could I.” he says and there is a burst of spiritual energy and Merciful Action is attacking Jacob with an overhand swing. I slam as much energy as I can towards the sword of fire and there is a concussive wave of power. When I open my eyes again everyone is staring at me as both Jacob and Mericful Action are holding the hilts of broken swords.
“Sorry... reflex.” I say sheepishly. Maybe if I pull on the string leading back to my body I can get out of here fast enough...
“I must admit. That is impressive.” Merciful Action says before throwing away the broken sword which dissolves into fire. “This was to be a reminder for Jacob to always expect an attack... yet you appear to have taught me of hubris. Well played Necromancer.” he finishes sounding a little petulant. He's then gone before I can blink.
“He likes you.” Jacob remarked sounding impressed.
“That... terrifies me...” I state slowly, confused and intimidated. “To get onto topic... I've... fallen from one world to another and... changed species.” I say nervously.
“Are you alright?” Dad asks and he grabs me by the shoulders and turns me around before turning me forwards again. “You haven't been hurt by this have you?” he demands and I sigh.
“No... but... I was turned into either a race that ages incredibly slowly... or a small child.” I say and Jacob snorts at this. “Thank you for that Jacob.” I remark dryly.
“Sorry.” he says genially and I gawk a little. This is the same guy who used to think that throwing swamp muck was high art right?
“There's more to it isn't there?” My mom asks and I nod.
“The place I landed in was in the territory of three physically manifested gods. I appeared as the same species, which is a hybrid between three races. Unique unto these gods...” I explain and both Mom and Dad look horrified.
“They haven't done anything to you have they?” Mom asks sounding worried and I sigh.
“You kicked up some kind of territorial instinct didn't you?” Dad asks and I shake my head.
“No... I... kicked up a maternal one.” I admit and Jacob clamps his hands over his nose and mouth and runs out of sight. The moment I can't see him I hear massive bellowing laughter echoing around the mountain. “At least he had the decency to walk away first...” I groan holding my forehead with my right hand as I look upwards into the impossibly beautiful sky.
“Are you... alright with this?” Mom asks and I sigh.
“No. I'm not. Every time she tries to be a mother to me I feel like I'm betraying you and dad. Like I'm stomping on your memories whenever it happens..” I say and she hugs me tightly before laughing softly.
“Clearly, we're not grandparents.” Dad says and I blink.
“What does that have to do with anything?!” I demand in shock as Mom starts laughing harder. Jacob comes back at this time still shaking as he holds his sides.
“Honey... when you have a child you want what's best for them. If a God wants to give that to you then let the God give that to you!” Mom tells me and I stare at her.
“She's right. If this god wants to get you what we can't then let it.” Dad says and I stare at him now.
“You have no idea why they stuck around do you?” Jacob asks and I shake my head. “You.”
“What?! I didn't lock you down did I?” I ask horrified and they shake their heads. “Then what did I do?”
“You survived.” Mom says and my eyes widen. Is my being alive binding them? “There's no way a parent can rest in peace without being sure if their child is safe.” I look around nervously and run a hand through my hair.
“Are you safe there?” Dad asks and I huff.
“It seems to be. They like me for some reason. I can't understand why.” I admit scratching the back of my neck.
“Then get going. If it's safe there then stay there.” My dad says and I give him a weird look. At this moment I realize something embarrassing... I've long forgotten both of my parent's names. I've always called them mom and dad.
“Uhm... this is embarrassing but... I've always called you both mom and dad... I don't actually remember your names.” I say and mom laughs.
“A hundred and seventy years and you still try and dodge questions.” Mom says smiling. “Why don't you want to go back?” she asks and I sigh.
“When I go back to my body... its a child's body. The last time I was a child I ruined my life. I traded barbs with an idiot like an idiot. It's the one moment that everything went straight into the cesspit.” I say looking away from them all. I can see a large amount of Elysium. Everywhere I look there is beauty and health. I feel the discomfort churn within me, and am painfully reminded that I'm just visiting at most. Soon to be forced out in all likelihood. Paradise has no room for me.
“You are older and wiser than that now. I doubt you'll get a repeat of... that day.” Jacob says and I sigh again.
“I don't even want to risk it. Screwing up like that once got to the point that some idiots started worshipping me as an evil god. I really don't want that again.” I mention then realize what I just admitted to in front of my family.
“I have got to hear this one.” Jacob says with a huge grin on his face.
“Nothing to hear. I hid away in a cave and stumbled across a bunch of pathetic kids who thought I stood for something. I didn't, so I tied them up and dumped their sorry rears in a monastery.” I told them and Jacob's nodding with approval as Mom and Dad shake their heads. Hopefully in wonder, because if not I'm about to get a talking too.
“I really hope that was the end of it.” Dad says and I sigh.
“I wish. I kept stumbling across the idiots.” I say remembering that completely idiotic cult... “What the hell would I do with a stabbed goat or a bled out chicken? I just thank the gods none of the twits tried a virgin sacrifice.” I say before shivering.
“Wow.” Jacob mutters and I nod. “You've been up to a lot...”
“I'm a hundred and seventy four. Do you think I've been sitting on my hands the whole time?” I ask incredulously and Jacob chuckles wryly. Then without warning a massive pain shoots into my stomach.
“What's wrong?” Mom asks seeing me wince and clutch at my stomach.
“It feels like I was stabbed in the gut. Hold on a moment.” I say before concentrating on my body. I open my physical eyes and I see that I'm alone. The pain is not of the flesh. My focus goes back to my soul.
“You have to leave.” Jacob says looking sombre the moment I'm refocused.
“What?” I ask confused. “What do you mean I have to leave?” I demand and he looks nearly heartbroken.
“Your soul not only belongs elsewhere, but is still alive. You have no place in Elysium.” Jacob says with the finality of a guillotine. “And from the looks of things there won't be anything for you to come here for anyways.” he states examining mom and dad for a moment.
“You're reincarnating back aren't you?” I ask and they both look uncomfortable.
“You were all that kept us here. Now that you're safe...” Mom says and I feel a very different pain.
“But... I never got to make it up to you. It's my fault that those killers...” I start to say and get a punch in the side.
“Didn't I tell you that wasn't your fault? You need to stop blaming yourself and expecting the worst.” Mom says and I sigh deeply. I can't stop this. If I even try then the angels will jump me and tear my soul to pieces. Even if I could stop it, I'd only be hurting them.
“You lived for us for over a hundred years. Live for yourself. Get what you've lost back and Live for gods sake!” Dad tells me and I hang my head. “You were never unloved son. You walked through hell and emerged stronger for it. Is it a peaceful land you are in now?” he asks and I nod unable to form words.
“Then start again. You can only succeed! Even when an entire world tried to drag you to hell you stood strong and grew into something better. There are no words for how proud we are. There's nothing more we could possibly do for you.” he says and I clench my fists before forcing myself to relax. Any action on my part could only hurt them now. They both hug me gently and I return it choking back my tears.
I can feel them fading. Their souls turning from experience to innocence. They move away an impossible distance but are still in my arms. Then for a moment I feel death turn to life, then my arms are empty. Only me and Jacob remain on the mountain.
“Eric and Delilah.” Jacob says and I look a t him wondering what he's talking about. “Their names. Eric and Delilah. We didn't have a family name.”
“Why not?” I ask grateful for a distraction.
“Mom and Dad were runaways. The farm was something that was abandoned before they arrived. It turns out that twit Leonidas was a distant cousin of ours.” he tells me and I gawk at him for a moment. Before I can say anything a massive pain stabs through my gut. It's like that red hot iron spear all over again.
“Oh shit you gotta go. Elysium is fighting your presence now.” Jacob tells me and he quickly hugs me. “I will find you, don't worry. You will always have friends in the Heavenly Realms. Now go!” he tells me and I pull away and nod. Then I pull at the string connecting me to my body and I flow through worlds again. I barely even notice the turbulence of the place between places as my mind is occupied on more painful things.
Once more I am a being of flesh and bone. I shake my head a little to clear out the numbness of rejoining to my body. It's like pins and needles being pulled from my skin as I stand upright and take stock of the situation.
No time has passed. My stomach is still a touch distended from overeating and I do not have to use the lavatory. I've travelled across worlds and spoke to the dearly departed. Now forever gone. They stayed behind for so long... just to make sure I was alright... I don't know what to think anymore.
I thought they would be ashamed. I thought that they would be angry. I went to them expecting scorn and hatred, but instead I found love and forgiveness. A new wave of exhaustion crashes into me and I huff at that.
Maybe a nap will help. I need to sort my head out after that. I quickly pull up the blankets and sheets and lay down comfortably on the bed. I pull the headband down so it's hanging around my neck. I'm in darkness and comfortable. I really hope this helps...