//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: I'm Parkouring out the Wazoo! // Story: Epsilon's peak // by StoryWeaver //------------------------------// "Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another." -Ambrose Bierce (AN): couldn't have said it any better! Chapter 3 "You don't know how to fly?" The blue pegasus looked at me incredulously, "are you serious? I mean, c'mon! You're an alicorn!" I had been extracted from the ground earlier and was now in a sitting room with these six mares. The blue pegasus known as Rainbow Dash was busy flipping out in the air, literally, surprised that I didn't know how to fly. "Give me about a week and several books on the subject of flying, and a day to figure out how to move these damn wings and I'll be good, then I'll come to you to improve, how 'bout that?" Rainbow dash looked at me like I had the plague, "You're an egghead too!?" "If by egghead you mean I have the learning ability akin to learning in a week what normal ponies learn in a month, then yes." Twilight looked at me, her eyes forecasting another Questionnaire in my near future, "No Twi, I'm not gonna tell you why, It's concerns my past," Twilight gave me the puppy dog eyes, and they were cute, I mean exceedingly cute, like 'damning your soul to hell if you say no to that face' cute. After a bit of grueling torture, indecision, weird face making, and REALLY deep soul searching, I finally said, "No Twilight, you will not force this out of me." "Pardon me Twi, but en't you surpossed to introduce us to the new pony 'ere?" Said the orange cowgirl...person...PONY! "Indeed Twilight, though I have heard their names once already I do believe it is time for a formal introduction." I stated in a noble's voice. The white unicorn swooned against the shy one, who squeaked cutely but stood her ground. Twilight sighed, "Girls, this is Reach. Reach,this is Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack , and the baby dragon here is Spike, my Number One Assistant," Each of the girls said hello in their own fashion. Fluttershy gave a very quiet hello. Pinkie Pie buzzed over to me like a vibrating phone wanders a table and vibrated my hand until it was numb. Rarity held out her hoof and I kissed it with a good and proper "M'lady," that actually made her faint. Rainbow gave a gruff hello combined with a Brohoof to match the Broshakes I had with several drinking buddies of mine, and the self praise of being the best flyer in Equestria. Applejack tipped her hat, and Spike gave a somewhat upfront claw/hoofshake with a hearty hello. Once this was all over Twilight began to speak of my lodgings. I was to stay with her for the time being as she was the one assigned guardianship over me. Rarity seemed rather peeved about it, maybe she wanted me all to herself after my display of gentlemanly awesomeness. I asked Twilight if she could teach me how to harness the pointed protrusion in the middle of my forehead, and if she could provide some books on flying. She accepted, but not without a little bit if cajoling on my part to quiet the tomboyish mare in her protests about not being able to learn from books, I believe I heard something about a certain 'During Dog' character in the whole tirade. I smiled, finally coming up with something to shut her up, "Here, Rainbow, how about I show you something I picked up recently. Have you heard of Freerunning?" The blue pegasus narrowed her eyes "No, but I bet it's boring," "Let's go outside for a moment. Twilight, do you know where I can find a suitably decorated wall to climb?" Twilight thought for a moment before replying, "The Guards' training course should do. If you're gonna do what you did back in the city then that would be most appropriate." "Lead on then," I commanded. The rest of the girls got up too and began following Twilight through the many twisting hallways. As we passed a set of stairs that led down into the Earth, I felt the tug of something calling, urging me downwards. I ignored the feeling, opting to follow the group instead. We eventually were led out a rather large door. Out into a courtyard with an obstacle course in the middle surrounded by very fancy buildings, all painted a non militaristic white. I admired the course before trotting over the Rainbow Dash, "Bet you'll be impressed by my skills, Dashy Poo" WHAM! "mlph thrph thorph, mph mumph meh mik miff'd" translated from dirt speak, "hello again dirt! We gotta stop meeting like this!" "Don't ever call me that again, or I will kill you." She whispered in my ear. Kinky and intimidating! I like you Rainbow Dash! After extracting my face from the bare dirt I replied, "I'll be waiting until that day, my dear. 'til then, be impressed by my awesome parkour skills as I climb that tower." With that I whizzed off, leaving behind a confused Dashy and a gaggle of worried women. I began doing tricks like nobodies business, wall running and roof hopping off everything I could find, I even found a few time where a high drop would come in handy, was that a rail? Awesome! Note to self: Hooves are good for grinding on pipes. Also, ask Twilight how you can grab things without fingers, because you just did! I ended off my display with a neat landing beside the astounded ponies, even Twilight was amazed at how fast I went. Remember what I said about my learning curve? This is one of those cases. I really did make up all those tricks as I went! "Admit it. Oh blue winged one, I" paused for dramatic effect, putting a hoof to my chest, "am awesome." My smirk is so cheeky! Their faces! The lulz! THE LULZ!! I felt like laughing, but kept it under control, trotting away, leaving the whole group as the British would say, Gobsmacked. I turned once I got about ten feet from them and called back in my best scottish accent, "Oi! Aren't ye cumin'?" They all shook their heads and trotted after me. I waited patiently for them to catch up keeping my toothy smirk the whole time. After a mite of walking back, Rainbow finally found her voice, "How in Equestria were you able to do all that!?" Apparently ponies are fond of yelling at me. It's either that or it's a racial habit. Either way! "Improvisation is the key to any good show My Dear Rainbow. That's because it can't be repeated." I then looked at Twilight, "Can you please lead us back to the sitting room? I do believe you have several questions to ask me, and I think I'd like your friends to be there with us when I answer them," After some time, which consisted of Twi leading us back to the sitting room and all of us settling into our cushions, Twilight finally got out her paper and quill. by that point evening had begun to fall outside the window and several unicorn servants came in and lit the candles. Once they left Twilight asked the first question, "So Reach, how did you get to be in Equestria?" I turned to Twilight, my face grim, "Since you've asked so nicely and I have such nice caring mares around me to confide in, I shall tell you my story. The FULL one. Please sit Twilight Sparkle, as this will be long and involved" After a few moment of waiting I launched into my monologue. Or I would have were I not interrupted by a loud bang in the distance...We all took a look outside. Princess Luna was in the courtyard yelling at a rather dark looking guard, night guard? Ha ha, reminds me of pull-ups... When she finished her tirade I swear she looked straight at me with those eyes that said "I'm watching you," I shuddered and dismissed the incident, intent on FINALLY telling my story to someone, just to get it off my back if nothing else. I tapped the stand next to the cushion I sat on, getting the mares' attention. I cleared my throat, took a sip of tea that a servant had ever so kindly handed me, and began my tale of woe, betrayal, love, loss, and falling, lots of falling.