//------------------------------//
// Confusion 
// Story: Trapped 
// by Gylden Glor 
//------------------------------//

	I push the wheelchair through the door, its inhabitant squirming in the seat.
"Ugh," Rainbow Dash mutters. "I've always hated wheelchairs...Makes me feel old and useless."
"Yeah, well, if you don't stop squirming, you'll dislocate your wing. The bone's still healing, remember? You won't be able to fly until the muscles and the bone heals."
She sighs. "Don't remind me..."
As I walk aimlessly around the hospital, Rainbow Dash continues to squirm, so I slap her over the head. "Stop squirming, asshole."
Rainbow glares back at me, and mutters "fuck you, Peter."
I chuckle. "Love you, too, babe."
"Whoa, calm yourself, bucko!" She shouts. "I still have to get you to admit you've got a crush on me, lover boy!"
We both share a small laugh, and I keep walking until I come upon the surprise I had organized for her.
"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie cries, jumping up and right in front of us. "Peter brought us all here! So, how much longer are you going to be in the hospital, huh?"
Rainbow Dash turns to face me, and smiles. "Thanks," she mouths, before she turns back to Pinkie.
"I dunno, but it can't be much longer if they're letting me come outside," Rainbow Dash responds optimistically. "Can't wait 'till I'm hanging out with you guys again!"
"Can't wait 'till I finally get to hang out with you at all," I chip in. "We've got to hang and do some cray shit, bro."
Rarity huffs, and tosses her mane in disgust. Rainbow Dash smiles as all of her friends emerge from the tent we had set up the day before, and smiles back at me.
"I brought some books for you," Twilight cries out. "But why don't you two come in? It's much cooler inside..."
I nod, and wheel the cyan Pegasus inside the tent, which is much cooler than the summer air. Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle all jump up and hug the cyan Pegasus as we enter.
"Rainbow Dash, was this your worst crash yet?" Scootaloo cries, staring at her bandages and casts in awe.
Rainbow Dash looks at me with that prankster smile I've come to know so well. "Yeah, worst yet, 'cus I've got to spend so much time with lover boy here," she responds.
"Huh?" Scootaloo is totally confused. And I don't blame the little shit. I'm half a grown man, and yet I'm still confused as to what Rainbow Dash thinks of me.
"Yeah, he's got a total crush on me."
And that's when they notice me. I don't know how they didn't notice me before. Maybe they were too wrapped up with Rainbow's bandages?
"Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but what is he?"
And that's when my love for kids takes over, and I launch into theatrics.
"I, my friends, am a human," I say in a theatrical voice. "And I hail from the planet Earth, and from the country of America!"
"Whoa, you're an alien!?" Apple Bloom cries.
"Yes, but you can't tell anyone," I whisper, leaning on Rainbow Dash's head as I speak, which warrants me a particularly nasty glance from the cyan Pegasus. "Except for Rainbow Dash. I put a chip in her brain," I lie, pressing my index fingers to the sides of her head, "that makes her forget, so I can always keep her fresh."
Rainbow Dash giggles, and shakes me off. "Don't believe him, guys," she says to the ponies in her lap. "He's just joking."
I poke her on the crown of her head. "That's what I've made her think," I say. "She won't remember that I just said this."
"Yes, I do," she says. "I remember-what were we talking about again?"
The little fillies' eyes grow wide, and Rainbow Dash smiles at them. "Don't worry, guys. We're just joking. Besides, he saved my life."
"Best alien ever!" Scootaloo cries out, smiling up at me. I smile down at her, and pat Rainbow on the shoulder. "Why don't you tell them what happened? I'm sure they'd love to hear about your recent adventure."
Rainbow Dash nods, and begins to spin a tale of how she was doing awesome flips, and how she chased down a thief into the Everfree. However, he was in league with a dragon, and when she beat it, it managed to hit her and send her flying all the way back to Ponyville. However, I know for a fact that that is not what happened. But as to what really happened...It's still a mystery to me.
"And then she totally crashed through the window," I add on. "I carried her to the hospital."
The three little fillies are about to start asking questions, when Applejack comes in with a stern face made of stone. "Y'all had better get off of Rainbow, before ya' hurt the poor thing." The fillies obediently hop off, and the rest of Rainbow's five friends enter the tent.
"Hi, Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy says softly. "How are you?"
I wheel the cyan Pegasus over to the empty spot at the table in the tent, and I sit down right next to her. The five ponies surround the table, and the three fillies surround Rainbow Dash.
"I'm good," Rainbow Dash responds, "as always."
And then the ponies begin to talk. I half listen, as I don't really care what half of them have to talk about. Oh, my, darling, my dress blah blah blah...The little animals blah blah blah...My research on black holes-
Now. that's interesting. I open my ears up, but Pinkie Pie has already interrupted the lavender unicorn. Figures.
"So, Peter, you're doing good? You're not going crazy being with Dashie in the hospital for this wrong? Because she gets real cranky when she can't fly!"
"Yeah, I'm fine; if you count good as being stuck in a hospital for at least another week or so," I sigh. Rainbow Dash blinks, but says nothing. Everypony else groans.
"Another week, Rainbow?" Applejack asks. "How're you gonna survive that?"
Rainbow Dash smirks at me. "Well, with lover boy here, I'm pretty sure I can handle it."
Pinkie Pie jumps on the table, causing me to reel backwards and fall flat on my ass. "Ohmygosh, are you two dating!? That is so cute!!"
I open my mouth to protest, but everypony begins asking questions and congratulating us before either Rainbow or I can say "no".
"Yo, shut up!" I finally shout after about five minutes of madness. "We are not dating, okay?"
Pinkie releases a small, disappointed "oh," and goes back to her chair and takes a seat. However, as soon as she does, she says, "you two should date, though. I bet you'd make a cute couple."
Rainbow Dash and I glance at each other, both of us dubious.
"Yeah; no," I say immediately. "I'm a human, and I'm superior to her in every way. I'm afraid I don't date inferior life forms."
"Hey! You're not superior to me!" Rainbow Dash cries.
"Come back to me when you can do integrated algebra," I state. "That, or play video games. Then, we'll truly see who is superior, young, foolish grasshopper."
"Oh, what, you got shit against grasshoppers now, too, Peter?"
Silence. Utter silence as we all stare at the butter Pegasus who shouted that.
Fluttershy shrinks back, blushing. "Uhh...Sorry. I don't like it when people make fun of animals..."
"I wasn't making fun," I respond. "Grasshoppers are symbols in ancient Chinese culture amongst sensei and their students. It would be a way of classifying one's skill due to the predominance of Hinduism at the time."
"Wait, I've gotta write that down!" Twilight cries, taking out a quill and paper. "Start at the beginning, please?"
"Well, the grasshopper-"
"No," Twilight shakes her head. "The beginning. Of human history?"
I wince, and look at Rainbow Dash. Fortunately, she seems to be nodding off: a side effect of the pain medication I forced her to take after she had some of her bandages taken off.
"Hey, Rainbow Dash, are you feeling sleepy? Of course you are. Sorry guys; gotta run!" I call over my shoulder as I wheel her out of the tent, and into the hospital.
Bullet dodged, like a boss.
"Wow, you sure got out of there fast," Rainbow Dash comments as we enter her hospital room. "What? Couldn't handle talking to another egghead?"
"Bitch," I start, struggling to speak through pants and my inability to breathe, "don't even..."
She giggles, and then immediately turns somber. It's quite odd, actually, how often she does that. She'll laugh, and then she'll remember something from earlier and just get all serious. Then again, it could just be because she's on edge lately, what with being stuck in a hospital and everything.
"Peter...When you were complaining about being here for another week...Well, you do know that you can leave at any time, right?"
I sigh as I help her into her bed. "Yes, I know," I respond. "And did you know that fuck you? I'm staying here until you leave, no matter how long that is. I mean, somebody's gotta look out for your sorry ass."
She chuckles, and stares up at me with those giant eyes of hers. Those giant, red, glimmering eyes...
Wait, the fuck am I doing staring at her eyes? And...Why is she staring at mine?
"Sweet dreams, Rainbow," I whisper as I walk around her bed, and lay down on my own.
"I don't need sweet dreams," she responds.
"Well, then, sour dreams, you ungrateful bitch."
She giggles, and gently slaps me with her tail, which is very unlike her. So, in reciprocation, I...well, I don't do anything. Her hitting me with her tail-it just seems so adorable that I can't possibly do anything in return to it.
So, I clap her on the shoulder, whispering "good night, Rainbow Dash."
She nuzzles my hand before I take it off of her shoulder, and my heart skips a beat.
I was right.
Something's not right in Ponyville.
Think about it: Everypony's been acting...Off.
First and foremost is Rainbow Dash, getting all emotional.
And then there's Fluttershy, having an outburst like that. In front of kids, even. Not to mention that Applejack didn't say anything about it when Fluttershy cursed right in front of her little sister.
And even more worrying was Pinkie Pie, who had remained silent during the majority of the time that we were down there. There was no confetti, no happy shouts, no explosions. It was...Odd.
Something is definitely going down in Poneyville.
However, it might just be circumstantial. Perhaps Rainbow Dash legitimately likes me, and is opening up to me. Or maybe Fluttershy just gets pissed when people make of animals. And maybe Pinkie Pie was just in a bad mood today. Who's to know?
With a sigh, I listen to Rainbow Dash's steady breathing, and think, trying to wade through the clouds of utter and total confusion that have been plaguing me since Rainbow Dash crashed through that window with claw marks adorning her body.