Sustenance of Hatred

by Wreck some Pense 40


Dreams

Dreams never really die. We take them to the grave.

Blocks of stone floated through the air with an unearthly grace, two hundred tons of hewn rock gliding steadily into place, wrapped in the golden glow of a divine magic. As they spun, the Princess of the Sun stood below, measuring and calculating with her eyes as she placed the building blocks of the greatest weapon known to pony-kind. Carved into each stone were ancient glyphs of power and war, carved to the core of each massive piece. Her sister sat to the side, her horn glowing with power as she helped to carve the runes with the utmost of care. They had been toiling away for the last two days, ever since they had finalized the design of their greatest failsafe. The need for some kind of secret weapon had been made all too apparent in the battle against the Beast, as the divine princesses were pitted against a foe that pushed them to the brink of death.

No. The next time they faced The Beast, they would be more than prepared. If he ever broke free, he would undoubtedly come for revenge. They would be ready.

Days passed as the blocks and slate and cobblestone slid into place. Forming towers and roads and ramparts, each marked with the runes of power, each placed perfectly within the overall design. The magic coursing through the intricate patterns deep below the surface of the blocks, creating currents of magical energy that flowed into deep pools within the absorption glyphs. This power could at any moment be activated, swirling forth into a veritable storm of magical lightning and death.

It would be the perfect trap, should The Beast ever return. A conduit to magnify their combined powers a hundredfold, the ultimate weapon ever created by ponykind or their gods. A castle high atop the mountain, designed to absorb and convert magical energy. Such a symbol was a powerful tool, for it would serve a far more prosperous purpose. It would be the seat of their government. A new home, for them to rule from, distancing themselves from their beloved ponies that no human would harm innocents in the pursuit of vengeance.

With pride, they named the new capitol of Ponykind.

Canterlot.



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He woke up in a bed, the sun shining from an open window as the summer air made the room too hot and stifling to justify the downy sheets. Downy sheets...

He leapt from the bed, legs getting tangled in the treacherous sheets that a moment ago had filled him with joy. His face met the ground and it hurt. It hurt. It was the most wonderful pain he’d felt in so long. He didn’t even complain about it as he rushed out the bedroom door, his shoes squeaking against the hardwood floor as he ran to the kitchen.

There she was, standing at the counter, reading the paper and eating cereal just like every other morning. The sun caught in her golden hair and made her glow like the angel he knew she was. Jonas wasted no time in running to her and grabbing her around the belly, picking her up and laughing and hugging her. She laughed with him and soon they were lying on the couch, watching the news about some economic crap he didn’t care about. She mumbled something in response. It didn’t matter. It mattered that she was here. That he was holding her. That he was home and not in some dingy cave living out a horrible dream about ponies. He was going to tell her, but he didn’t want to be weird. It was just a dream after all.

They lay in eachothers arms for what felt like the entire day. He saw without seeing the stars in the ceiling. They’d always been there. They were just lights. There was something wrong. But there shouldn’t be. Everything should be fine. He’d woken up. He was free. But...

“I’m sorry, Jonas Bailey.”

He leapt from the couch, Caroline behind him. There, in his living room... The dark Princess Pony. Her mane was the night sky, swirling around and above her, stretching into the ceiling to merge with the fabric of the world. She was not as large as the Celestia Princess, Her head only coming up to his chest. He snarled at her, spreading his arms and his stance, blocking Caroline from view. This was his house. He was safe here. He was home. He was home and she’d come after him!

“No. Not yet you aren’t.”

He let it go. All the rage and anger he’d felt growing in that world of ponies. He just let it free of its bonds. Screaming in rage as fire erupted from his hands, the world around him falling away like the shattered remains of a window. Dull reflections of a life he could feel slipping away from him.

The Princess didn’t blink, the fire never touched her. It swirled and flowed around her and into her mane, sliding along the stars like yellow and red veins, feeding into the faint stars within and making them burn ever brighter.

He was screaming still. The air in his lungs unending as he felt black fire creeping along his skin, he raised a hand to grab at her, but the fire was holding him, twisting him, it was crawling up his chest, wrapping itself around his neck, choking him, suffocating him. The last thing he saw was the Princess. Those sad eyes watching him as the fire ate him alive.

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She spiralled and fell even further, half-remembered fragments of dreams slamming into her as if they could harm her blessed form, and through the unreal power of the subconscious they took effect, jagged edges of regrets and memories and sensations ripping at her equine form as she righted herself, asserting her will upon the maelstrom that tore at her. With a surge of godly power, she ripped a path open through the madness, cutting through the clout of foreign memories and minds... minds?

Luna slammed into the ground, mud splattering from the impact as she began to breath through a mouth that was not hers. Dark purple fingers dug into the ground as she crawled forwards, her mind catching up with its place here in the madness of an alien being’s soul. She was on her knees, and then she stood upon the grass, toes gripping the grass that was not real. Eyes that shone like diamonds now sat in her short, round head. Hair that shimmered and danced as the night sky hung down, curling around the stubs that had been her black wings. Her view left her body, scanning herself up and down as her mind spiralled about, seeing all at once in clear violation of physical limitations.

It was... a playground. There was rain in the air, and a small boy on the ground in front of her, one side of his face red and swollen, puffing out as he gritted his teeth, trying not to cry.

Above him was a ring of faces, indiscernible and formless save one, a large boy standing over the small, face twisted into a sneer as he taunted the small one.

“Gonna cry stupid!? Gonna cry!?”

Luna watched the exchange passively. It was clearly a memory, there was nothing to do but learn here. The question was, which child was Jonas? The shifting faces of the crowd and the detail of the two children indicated one to be him... but was he the aggressor? Or the victim?

The world began spinning, the boy on the ground launched himself upwards, small hands clenched tightly into fists, and as the blow landed the children disappeared into a vortex of color and sound, the grass and dirt and rain flowing into one another towards a pure white point of no return. Luna simply sighed and let herself flow through the currents of Jonas’ mind.

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It was a classroom. A crowd of older humans sitting behind desks in front of a whiteboard, mathematical knowledge scrawled across which in a fashion no being, human or equine, could understand. A young male human, clearly Jonas by his hair, sat glaring at his notes in front of him.

A minute passes, Cyan eyes watching the young man growl and glare at the parchment before him. Occasionally his hand would move, and for a moment hover as if to make some triumphant mark. Inevitably it fell back onto the wooden desk, increasingly exasperated sighs escaping his lips each time.

“Need some help?”

It was an angel. The world brightened and the air around her seemed to glow. Every part of her smile was perf- no. No, that was how she seemed to him. It was important to remember, this deep in his mind, that everything here was only what it seemed to be to Jonas.

Keeping that in mind did little to convince the peeping deity that the girl standing above the student was anything less than gorgeous. Golden hair swaying like a curtain. She never had bothered cutting it...

Luna felt the pull of colors as the room slipped sideways, pulling through the doors like water down a drain. The boy and the golden girl swirled together, fighting the ethereal tugging as best a fragment of memory could, before finally relenting and flowing towards the door into-
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The home is silent. The wallpaper fading with age but not care. A woman sits in a chair, staring at a book with eyes that were watching something a hundred miles away. Jonas says something, but the words simply join the static in the air. Luna followed the memory, floating through the heavy air. The home feels like the life is slowly pouring out, and the goddess spies a ghost of a memory, standing in front of the master bedroom. The young man turns into his own room, backpack carelessly slung aside as he reaches his room.

The boy moves forwards, rough hands placing a framed picture of him and a golden haired girl on the dresser. He stares at it just long enough for the floating, observing Luna to notice the way his eyes smile. He is smiling softly at the photograph as the world spills away beneath him, falling and twisting into angled circles of color, melting into one another as they move from the room-
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He’s on the floor outside, his foot wide open and with a gash in it. The red liquid was staining the gauze a bright crimson that would scare the small child were it not for his father, kneeling and studying the injury intently. His mother is behind the patriarch, auburn hair shimmering like a pastel cloud as the dreamlike figure moves, her features are blurred, like a painting that’s begun melting. Her blurred form picks up the shattered ceramic plate, stained with the same crimson that now seeps from the gauze. Brocolli and fettucini stain the floor, the forgotten remnants of a meal now over. His father smiles at him, reassuring words coming from his mouth, but they’re overwhelmed by the rush of reality slipping away once again, the world slipping through the open orifice and into his throat where-
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The hospital room is white. A painful white, like exposed bone in the desert. He’s called to his fathers side, the man once full of fire now lying almost comatose, gauze and sweat and death clogging the boys sense of smell. The knots of anxiety and pain and duress swirl around him. This figure. This man. This father. He watches the life flow from him as his eyes blur, the world becoming a haze of emotion and unwanted events. His mind can’t process it and for a moment neither can the observing goddess. This memory is full of pain, but she endures. She endures long enough to hear the words.

“Leave it better than you found it.”

The words echo, scrawling themselves across the walls in a color that doesn’t exist. Gravity failed. His throat was clenching shut and the world was failing. Falling. Fallen. Like a hero.
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The princess rose, hooves unsteadily finding their place atop the golden fire beneath her. Above her, undulating above the soul was the poisonous silken threads of the Siphon. The black threads reached down, wrapping lightly around the golden core and taking root, spreading the sickly darkness throughout the pulsing core.

She had arrived.

Her horn sparked with the magic made of dreams as she prepared her spell, judging with eyes that were above and below as she willed them. She could see the corruption from every angle, feel how it warped Jonas’ perceptions, how it twisted his thoughts and emotions. It was too much. It was too malevolent. So she would distance it from Jonas’ mind.

It felt like days. Standing there as the magic gathered around her like a looming thunderhead. Power coalescing around her as arcs of a royal purple, lancing out, dancing across the surface of the soul. The threads of malevolence felt the power gathering, sending hair-thin strands of emotion towards her, cutting her flesh time and time again, severing her legs and wings and cutting her head from her body.

But a moment after those wounds came, she would be restored to her original composure. She was a god, and beyond such minor injuries. Here, in the realm of the metaphysical emotions and dreams, here she was beyond any and all threats. It felt good. It felt right. It was a power she dared not abuse, not since the time in a previous era, when the dreams had turned to nightmares.

The spell burst from her horn like a river escaping the floodgates, ripples of power folding over one another as it rushed to the corrupted pieces of the golden core, the purple power rinsing the sick darkness, casting it away. Purple magic rose from the core, shimmering like a mirror as it solidified into an orb of protective power. The threads of darkness reached out, drawn to the human soul like water pulled by gravity. Luna watched with grim satisfaction as the threads bounced against her magic as they probed for weaknesses. Finding none, the darkness saw fit to wrap itself around the shield, looping over and over until the hair-thin thread had completely surrounded the shield. But it would hold. It had the full might of the Princess of the Night.

Her head bowed, her body melting once more into quicksilver as it faded into nothingness.
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Splat.

His eyes flickered, taking in the stone he slept on, noting the moss. What little light slipped through the darkness of the cave reflected from the freshly wet algae. He took a deep breath, the only sound in the silence of the cave. His head was pounding, but he felt good. Better than he had in awhile. For a moment, he entertained the thought that he was no longer in Equestria, that he was just a minute’s hike from home.

But those were the groggy half-formed thoughts of a Jonas waking up. He waved them aside as he peeled his face from the floor, dust and grime coming with him. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, trading it for the dirt on his knuckles. He looked down at himself in the darkness of the cave, his shirt was still stained with blood, the crimson contrasting strongly against the filthy white it had originally been. His jeans were a little less splattered, though not by much. He felt gross, his neck itched from the scruff that was quickly reaching the disgustingly awkward phase of the path to a beard. He scratched it as he looked around the room, standing naked save for his blue and white striped boxers.

He stumbled over to the pool of water, eyeing the mucky water distastefully before cupping it in his hands and splashing his face, doing his best to rinse the grime and dirt from his face and eyes. The water was cold, helping to jolt him further into wakefulness. He considered using the water to wash his shirt and pants, but without soap that would only result in wet clothes.

Half an hour later he was dressed and sitting on the lip of the cave, staring out into the distance. The sky was a beautiful shade of blue that made the whole world seem just that small bit more joyful. Yet here he was, on the run from a the peaceful talking ponies that he’d attacked and hurt. He didn’t even know why! Sure, the manticore thing had attacked him, but he’d been fine! He should’ve stayed, put up with that flutter...shy? Fluttershy’s accusations. He should’ve apologised. Losing his cool hadn’t helped anyone, least of all himself.

“Ugh. Freaking talking ponies and freaking monsters and freaking... PONIES!”

He leapt to his feet, looking down at the town in the distance. A strange thought had occurred to him. A thought that he did not relish in the least.

He should apologize.

Jonas was a laid back person. He liked to think of himself as friendly, understanding, smart, attractive, and generally all around a good guy. But he knew he was no good at apologies. Not meaningful ones. He’d always been better at the unspoken understanding between friends. However, apologizing for trying to break an acquaintance’s leg and then attacking the police... pony? Who tried to stop him from hurt more ponies... that might have been crossing the line. It sucked, but he’d made a serious mistake.

He eyed the twenty foot drop from the lip of the cave. It hadn’t been that hard to climb, plenty of easy handholds. He jumped without thinking, and for a long second he was cursing himself for breaking his legs this far from proper pony aid.

So when the stone shattered beneath his feet as he landed upright, he let out a laugh. Nothing like the diseased laugh of yesterday, this was a hearty laugh. Like a kid unwrapping a christmas present, but instead of wrapping paper flying it was shards of stone. He leapt from the rock, leaving footprint indentations behind. He landed on the dirt, and felt his leg sink two feet into the dirt like it was a pile of leaves.

It wasn’t hard digging himself out. hard packed dirt came away like dead leaves under his powerful hands, until he’d made enough room for his knees to move. They burst from the earth with a joyful tug, and he was free. With his lesson learned he began the long hike back to Ponyville. He’d find Fluttershy and apologize to her for scaring her. Then he’d find Rainbow Dash and apologize to her as well. Maybe he’d even apologize to that guard, if he saw him. He’d just... turn himself in to the guard and get thrown in jail. Yeah. Okay, maybe he wouldn’t apologize to the guard. It’d be one of those unspoken understandings. That sounded better than prison.

He started walking back towards the town, easily following his trail from yesterday. This time he paid attention to the ground, easily avoiding the muddy traps that were so painfully obvious now. This begged the question, what the hell was up with him the day before? He’d just been so... angry. He’d been angrier than he remembered being in a very long time.

Maybe it was the Siphon? The Princesses had explained that when he’d first arrived, and it was further elaborated by Twilight Sparkle, how he was the new garbage dump for Equestria’s negative emotions. Apparently just by being in this “universe” he was soaking up the negative emotions around here like a sponge. The mechanics of it didn’t make sense, but neither did magical talking ponies, so it probably just came with the territory.

So was he being influenced with magic right now? He felt much more in control of himself now, but was that just an effect of the magic? Had he let off steam or something by having his little meltdown? So many questions, and the only people with answers were probably less than happy with him. Ugh.

Just think of it as apologizing for what you did while you were drunk

Yeah, that could work. It made things easier to think that he’d just been under the influence of alcohol as opposed to the influence of a thousands of years old spell that had trapped his predecessor in an endless cycle of torment and isolation.

Hm. Something odd had just happened, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

The hours passed easily as he walked, the forest seemed unnaturally quiet around him. He figured it was because they could smell the manticore blood on him, or something. Maybe he just stank. His neck was getting itchier and itchier as time passed. He tried to scratch it, but that just made it itch worse. So he walked in solemn silence, trying to ignore the disgusting half-grown neckbeard. He’d have to find something to help him shave. The scissors and clippers from the pony barbers hadn’t been able to help him. He needed something sharp from back home, and seeing as the only things that came with him were the clothes on his back.

Maybe Twilight Sparkle would have something? Then again, maybe it’d be rude to come back after attacking her friends and ask for a razor. Scratch the maybe. He was pretty sure that was considered rude.

Eventually the forest thinned and the town came into view, the leaves of the library a green blob on the horizon from here. By habit, he’d wandered to the edge of the Apple Family’s farm. He could see Applejack and Big Mac working the groves of trees. He was content to watch them work from this distance. At least until Applejack’s head turned, pointing almost directly at him. He bolted after that, remembering why he was coming into town. He’d go to Fluttershy first, and apologize to her. Then he’d find Rainbow, apologize to her, and then he’d get the hell out of dodge.

It was all well and good to man up to his mistakes, but he felt his time in Ponyville had run its course. Not that he didn’t like it here. It was quiet and weird but very understanding. The ponies in town had acclimated quite quickly to the human amongst them. He hadn’t dealt so well with the whole “Talking ponies” thing, and that was on him. Maybe he’d send them a fruits basket. They’d be ok with the otherworldly fugitive sending fruits baskets, right? It sounded like a nice thing to do.

The walk to Fluttershy’s cottage was relatively uneventful. He’d seen the town map enough to know the general direction of where to go. Also the fact that here the birds were more than happy to chirp and sing, at least until he came into view.

It was a nice little cottage, right at the edge of the forest, next to a babbling brook and covered in birdhouses. It looked almost like it had a massive shrubbery growing through the top. The surroundings had become deathly quiet as he approached. The bridge groaned under his feet, and for a moment he worried it would break beneath his weight, but the stone held. It was simply complaining at him. He walked to the small door, feeling the weight of the unnatural silence on his back. His hand reached out to the small doorknob, and crumpled it like paper as he turned it.

He pushed the door open slowly, leaning his head in sheepishly.

“Hello? Fluttershy? I’m sorry about your doorknob... I just wanted to come and apologize...”

The house was deathly silent. He took a few hesitant steps inside, the floorboards creaking under his weight. He poked around, trying not to touch anything that looked fragile. Everything here looked fragile. There were plenty of signs of animals, from little scuff marks in the floor from dog paws and other assorted claw-like appendages, to the smell of almost concentrated nature. Too many animals in one place. There was one stench stronger than the rest, it smelled of copper and the pungency of urine. It led him down a wooden hallway in the back. He walked past door after door, he wasn’t interesting in ransacking or exploring her house. He just wanted to find the pony, apologize to the pony, and get out. That’s all.

This door was different. It was heavier than the others, and the stench was particularly powerful behind it. Jonas reached his hand out, pushing it open. No doorknob, a swinging door.

There it was. It seemed smaller than he remembered it in those moments of terror, but it was still larger than he. The manticore was on its side, breathing through a muzzle strapped around its mouth. The monsters eye swivelled over to him, and widened with realization. It lumbered onto its paws, extending its wings from wall to wall as it faced him. Bruised stinger raised above the beast’s head, ready to strike.

Jonas held his arms out, palms open in a gesture of peace. It didn’t escape either of them that these were the same palms that had crushed half the manticores mouth in. They stood facing each other like this, the air heavy with tension. The manticore half-growled at the human before its threat died in its throat. Nobody wanted them to fight again. The human because it had caused him enough social problems, and the lionesque monster because last time they’d clashed it had lost half its teeth.

“So... Uh, I came here to apologize to Fluttershy, but I guess I owe you a bit of one too, huh, uh, Manfred?”

Manfred the Manticore eyed him suspiciously, beady eyes glaring at him from furrowed brows. It seemed to understand Jonas’ words, but wasn’t able to talk like the ponies were. Or maybe the muzzle wasn’t letting it talk. Probably the muzzle, when he thought about it.

“Look, I uh, I was just scared because you were jumping at me with your teeth. I mean, I’m still not happy about that, you really scared me. And stuff. So... Truce?”

He held his hand out, fully expecting a handshake for half a second until he realized how stupid that was. But he’d committed to the handshake, whether or not he was left hanging was up to the manticore in the room.

It stared at his hand in obvious fear, flinching when he raised it before settling on wondering animosity. They stood like that for several long, awkward seconds. Several more long seconds passed as Jonas stared expectantly at Manfred, biting his lip.

The manticore was having none of it. It was just standing there, tensed and ready to run, despite the apparent lack of anywhere in particular to run to. Jonas let his hand drop.

“Yeah. Ok. Sure. Well, have a good life then. Sorry ‘bout the teeth.”

He backed away from the beast, pushing the swing door open with his back. The manticore didn’t move, wings still spread wide. After a last second of eye contact, Jonas turned and left to find the local weathermare.

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As it turns out, wandering around Ponyville (stealthily) wasn’t much of a plan for finding the rainbow pegasus. This simple fact is the cause of Jonas Bailey, human extraordinaire, wandering around the outskirts of the town, trying to spot a speck of cyan against the backdrop of a blue sky. Yeah. Best plan yet. It had barely beaten out trying to shake hands with a manticore to make peace.

Today wasn’t shaping out so good.

He was laying on his back in the middle of a field. Watching the clouds in hopes that maybe, just maybe, Rainbow Dash would appear out of nowhere. Then he’d apologize to her, which she would graciously accept, and then he’d get the hell out of Ponyville. He had less than an idea of where he’d go, but he’d cross that burn when it bridged him. Wait.

Speaking of bridges, where were all the guards? Yesterday he’d attacked two ponies, maybe three, and he’d seen teams of pegasi hunting for him for the rest of the day. Yet here he was, six hours closer to Ponyville than he was yesterday, making little attempt at really sneaking about. Hell, he’d seen a trio of fillies a couple fields back, and it’s not like he was some stealthy commando. He was still wearing a blood-spattered t-shirt for goodness sake.

Jonas stood, grass tickling his bare feet as he looked around the field more warily now. He got the sudden and sickening sensation that he was being watched. He spun around, trying to catch some unknown stalker before they could hide themselves. All this accomplished was him becoming more panicked and dizzy. At least until a thought occured.

“What’re they going to do?”

Logically speaking, he’d shattered stone, and was a walking cause of collateral damage. Really, what were they going to do to him? If it came to violence, they’d just break their hooves on him. So, he should calm down. No need flying off the handle at some ponies that can’t even hurt him.

With this newfound sense of invincibility, Jonas set to walking. He was getting bored of sitting in a field waiting for things to happen, so he might as well bite the bullet and just walk into town. He’d find Rainbow Dash faster that way. He wasn’t sure how the apology would go over, but he hoped it would be better than the apology to the mantic- Manfred the Manticore. Oh. Crap. He still had to apologize to Fluttershy. Maybe... He’d find Rainbow Dash, and ask her to find Fluttershy for him, or maybe she could just carry the apology along? He’d figure it out once he found the cyan pegasus.

He knew of a better way to find the ponies he was looking for.

This train of thought led to the tall, iron-wrought human walking through the town square, arms spread wide with a challenging smile on his face. He made deliberate eye contact with each pony he saw. He heard the dueling banjos playing in the back of his mind as he sauntered past the crowds of ponies. When he reached the fountain, he turned to face his onlookers. His antics had definitely drawn a crowd. Theatrically, he threw his hands out towards the ponies, eliciting a satisfying round of gasps.

“Ponies and... Pony... men. Uh. I’m looking for the ones you know as Rainbow Dash! And Fluttershy!”

The gathered ponies gasped in an appropriately dramatic fashion, recoiling from him in fear. Then came the long, awkward silence, due to none of them being Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy, and nopony wanted to talk to the unhinged extradimensional supermonster. So, he held his pose while the gathered ponies watched and waited. After half a minute of pure silence, the low mutterings of the crowd began. Jonas held his arms where they were despite the slow burn that was setting in his muscles. He didn’t really know what to do with them. Maybe he should have brought a walking stick or something to fill his hands? This had seemed cleverer and funnier in his head. Also smarter. He didn’t feel really stupid until the grey-haired mayor (mare) timidly asked him if he’d asked Fluttershy’s friends. He felt quite stupid after that bit. Really, exceptionally, quite stupid. Of course he should have checked with the other bunch! Heck, he could have stopped by Applejacks on the way in. She liked him, right? Why hadn’t he done that? That made roughly a hundred times more sense than this plan.

However, the inherent genius of the idea became clear when the cyan pegasus swooped in from above, slamming into the street with a bit more enthusiasm than was perhaps necessary. Her violet eyes bore into him with... fear? Determination? They looked more upset than normal. And it wasn’t the same upset as yesterday. Then it was simple beration, now it looked like a threat. Somehow, that felt comforting. In all the time he’d been in this weird world, nothing had seemed genuinely malicious. Except Manfred. Manfred had definitely seemed malicious. But none of the ponies had seemed rude, let alone violent. They were the farthest from malevolent a culture could get! To see one of them show something so... so human felt comforting.

Jonas snapped out of his thoughts to find all the ponies were still staring at him, but now from a much more respectable distance. There was fear in their eyes. He hadn’t been paying attention earlier, but now it was clear. He scared them. He stood almost twice as tall as them, they were like children to him, and he waltzed in here thinking he was being clever when he must be terrifying to them.

Well. Goddamnit. This wasn’t going anywhere near how he’d thought it would. He was here to apologize. Just apologize, get it over, go. New plan. Pretty much the old plan, except less confident sounding and much more awkward.

He felt these thoughts swimming around his head, and the voice of Rainbow Dash coming to him as if from the other end of a long tunnel... His hand came to his temple, his eyes clenched tightly as he grit his teeth. He shook his head once, twice, before opening his eyes again. The cyan pegasus was still there, a fearfulscaredlonely distance away from him. He didn’t mean to scare her. What was he doing here? He was scaring them. He was scaring all of these poor ponies. They didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve this. His head was buzzing, like hundreds of flies were hanging near his ears, crawling inside of them.

He didn’t deserve this.

That one thought just brought emotions gushing to the fore, his eyes tearing as he stared at her rainbow mane. It didn’t make sense, but there it was. Rainbow hair. There was a fire in his mind, bouncing and rattling against a beautiful purple wall. What? That thought didn’t make sense. Why did he think of that? Why did he see it so clearly?

Focus. Plan. Stupid plan. Simple stupid plan.

He could feel the buzzing move to the the back of his head, but dismissed it. He needed to focus. Focus on the stupidly simple plan. Focus.

“Look, Rainbow... I uh, I wanted to apologize. About yesterday. With the whole... attacking you, thing.”

She was just standing there, staring at him. How long had he been standing there? How long had this been going on? Did it really take him this long to just stammer out a goddamn apology? Come to think of it, he couldn’t see any of the other ponies that had been there just a second ago... Just Rainbow, and she looked much less apprehensive. Why was that? The apology! Yeah. He’d apologized. So, now he should go, right? Yes. That was probably step 2. He felt like he was in a fog, and could hear clocks ticking behind him and all around. The fuzz at the back of his skull was getting unbearable.

“So... I’ll just, uh, be going. And stuff. Yeah. Uh... bye.”

He turned to leave, only to find himself face to face with the big white pegasus-unicorn from his first night in Ponyville. Princess Celestia. Her coat glowed white, and behind her he could see Twilight, Applejack, There was Fluttershy, at the back of the group, hiding behind Rarity. Jonas blinked hard, twice, they were definitely there. Celestia was saying something, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. The he could barely think over the fuzz reverberating through his head. His head jolted side to side as shivers shot through his neck, like a live current. The princess kept talking, but he was moving already. Moving for the small butterscotch pony. Rarity’s eyes widened as the human moved closer, but she didn’t move. Jonas was on his knees, it was hard to stand. But he needed to. He needed to tell her.

“Fluttershy... I just... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t mean to scare ponies. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to...”

He was on his back, staring up at the sky. He blinked once, slowly, and as if by magic the buzzing was gone. The dark princess pony was standing over him when he opened his eyes once more. He felt as if he was falling further into the ground, everything above him felt so far away, as if at the bottom of a well. A well stuffed with blankets and pillows. Pillow fiiiight. Focus. Focus.

Celestia was standing there, next to Luna. They were talking, and he could hear the words, but they were meaningless. He was so tired. He felt his eyes close once more, before he forced them to open. Something was weird here. Something was wrong with how tired he was. A flicker of flame licked his mind, and he was pushing himself with his elbows, staring at the master of the sun.

She looked down at him with a sad sort of kindness, leaning down to whisper to him in an almost motherly fashion.

“Jonas, we’re taking you with us to Canterlot. We’re going to make this all better.”

There was more, but the simple softness of her tone was enough to lure him back to the comfort of the ground. He closed his eyes once more, and this time they stayed closed.