//------------------------------// // Chapter 0: Prologue // Story: Ponies on Red Dwarf // by Sound Shard //------------------------------// Approximately three million years ago, in an age known as "The 90's" a man named Dave Lister worked on a mining ship in space, named Red Dwarf. After discovering that Lister had a cat onboard, a direct transgression of the ship's sanitation rules, the captain of the ship sentenced Lister to two years in stasis. Upon awakening, he finds that he was not, in fact, in stasis for 2 years. He was in stasis for three million. The only life forms remaining are: David Lister, the ships third technician (lowest rank), a hologram of Lister's bunkmate Second Technician Arnold Judas Rimmer, the ship's AI system Holly, a life form that evolved from Lister's cat, and a mechinoid they picked up along the way named Kryten. Twilight Sparkle lives in Equestria, a world of high-class magical unicorns, fast middle-class Pegasi, and lower-class laboring regular earth ponies, or, if to be disrespectful, earthies. All royalty are alicorns, and the main ruler is Princess Celestia, with the help of her sisters Princess Luna and Princess Cadenza, or Cadence for short. Twilight is Celestia's faithful student, and was sent to Ponyville, a suburban village underneath the Pegasus capital Cloudsdale and also the root of very many problems: the Everfree Forest, to learn more about the magic of friendship. Along this journey she has made many friends, particularly five relatively young mares. These six friends have saved Equestria many a time. Twilight's five friends are Applejack, Pinkamina Pie (or Pinkie Pie for short), Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. Twilight also has an assistant, a baby dragon named Spike. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Red Dwarf "Mr. Lister, sir, your breakfast?" Kryten called as he wheeled in a cart. "Today it is your favorite: Curry vindaloo with scrambled eggs and a cherry funnel cake." "Smeggin' hell, Kryten! What've I told you about this 'Mister Lister Sir!' crap? Be independent for once in your smeggin' life!" "But sir! I am programed to serve! I serve, so therefore I am! I must--" protested Kryten. "Okay," Lister interrupted. "Just give it here. Thanks anyway, Kryten." "Oh, you're welcome, sir!" said Kryten swiftly and sped out the door. He was ready to begin his daily chores when a loud "Ooooowwww!" came from down the hallway. The cat shuffled by in one of his best casual dressings. Kryten gave a quick smile at the Cat's ignorant bliss and returned to his busywork. Cat did a quick jig and let out another trademark Michael-Jackson-esque "Ooooowwww" before whipping out his pocket mirror. "Am I lookin' good? Yes!" he said contently and walked a few steps more, then took back the mirror. "How 'bout now? Uh-huh!" He would've checked again, but he had reached his destination. He scooted in and let out a last "Ooowwwww!" before turning to speak to Lister. "Yo! You seen goal post head?" he asked. "Rimmer? Yeah, um, I think he's workin' on Starbug... Why?" "Holly said to grab him and you and meet on D Deck." "You know what she want's? Going all the way to D Deck?"" "Naw, but it sounds big. Something about cross dimensions..." "Well, we're no stranger to cross dimensional travel!" "Just c'mon" After getting Kryten, Lister met Cat and Rimmer in the D Deck. Holly fluttered on screen. "'Sup dudes?" "Whaddaya want, Holly?" urged Rimmer. "Well, I've been studying other dimensions lately..." "Yes?" prodded Cat. "And one is attempting entrance to ours. Not anytime soon, but within the next twenty-four hours," "Well, aliens! I tell you, it'll be aliens. They'll accept me as their leader, and--" began Rimmer. "Rimmer?" interrupted Lister. "Yes?" "You're a smeghead." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ponyville "A-Are you sure?" stammered Fluttershy. "It'll be fine!" assured Rainbow Dash. "Just sit still!" Rainbow tie one last knot on the rope that bound the two. "We're going to get that weird cat of Rarity's free!" "Um, he-her name's Opalescence..." stuttered Fluttershy, then let out a small *eep* as she saw Applejack approaching. She adjusted her helmet and the two pillows strapped around her waist and tried to sink into them as much as possible. "Don'ch y'all worry none now, this is perfectly harmless..." began Applejack, but was interrupted by a snapping sound followed by a low creak from the makeshift catapult. "... Ah think," AJ bucked the tree that held the designated rope and watched them fly. A loud screech of pure terror erupted from Fluttershy. She... Had a fear of moving at fast speeds. Rainbow added to the speed by flying with it. Rainbow skillfully grabbed Opal from the tree as a half terrifying, half awesome fact crossed her mind; She couldn't stop safely, she was going too fast. She rushed at Rarity and AJ with full speed and yelled, "Sorrygoingtoofasthere'syourcathaveanicedaaaaaaaaay!" and dropped Opal into Rarity's face with such speed and force, Rarity fell flat on her back with a ball of fur, claws, and teeth with a collar attached to her face. "Uhm... Rare's? You good?" checked AJ. She was answered by a low groan. A sonic rainboom exploded and Applejack was blown onto her face herself. A good fifteen minutes later, Rainbow and Fluttershy landed safely, but Fluttershy was a gibbering mess, and Rarity was barely conscious, AJ had a giant scrape down the side of her face, and Rainbow was miraculously untouched. Twilight simply followed the trail of rainbow to find the other four. She had Pinkie with her, and Spike, so she was slowly losing it. "And I said to Ms. Cake, 'Remind me never to use that Mirrorpond again!', and she looked at me funny, but I think she got it... Lesse... Then I watched over Pound and Pumpkin! Ooh, they are just soooo cute! I just dunno how anyone could possibly ever not like them. Do you? I mean, those big puppy-dog eyes, those just plain squishy cheeks, those superiffically tiny hooves, adorabletastic! Actually, I once knew this guy who didn't like babies! He thought they were scary! His name was Dea--" rambled Pinkie, but was cut off: "Shut... UP!" demanded Twilight at the top of her lungs. Pinkie recoiled, and came to a trot, but eventually went back to bouncing. Twilight rolled her eyes and let out a loud groan. But thankfully, and Twilight thanked Celestia it was over, they were met with a nervous Rainbow Dash and the other three all on the ground. Twilight facehoofed. "What did you do this time?" "Minor accident..." replied an unsure Rainbow. "Uh-huh... So... Pinkie, Spike, and I have discovered another universe, and we kind of want to all go there together I would hope..." "Woah, woah, woah. No! We can't just walk into another universe willy-nilly! What if they're hostile!" "If somepony were hostile, I would know. I've been watching them." "Creepy!" "Maybe, but effective. They encounter hostile events and handle each well. I'm sure ten ponies and a dragon won't hurt!" "Ten?" "Us six, the three princesses, and my brother." "If they're not hostile, why bring the head of the royal guard?" "He's my brother..." "...But what use what would they be, really? I mean, I get that they're supposed to protect the princess, but, really. What other purpose do they serve?" "He's my broth..." "Army of Changelings, and what do they do? They leave six regular ol' mares to take care of it! Granted you're very gifted, and Pinkie miraculously provided artillery, but not a hoof raised! Queen Chrysalis even too..." "HE'S COMING BECAUSE HE'S MY BROTHER, OKAY?" shouted Twilight. Rainbow backed away slowly. Spike looked around nervously then blurted: "Those three may need medical attention!" Twilight calmed down. "Yes, let's get going," she sighed and incased the three in a magical field and levitated them away. Chapter 0 end.