The brightness finally died down after I’m not even sure how long. I looked at my watch. I could barely see it through the blobs in my vision. It read 5:28 p.m. I think it had been about ten minutes. I wasn’t really sure since I didn’t quite remember when Celestia had come to Twilight’s treehouse.
Celestia.
I looked over to where Celestia was last. I was honestly surpised at what I saw.
The first thing I noticed was the floor. She had emptied the contents of her stomach. The sight of it had instantly made me feel guilty. I looked up into her eyes. They were mere pinpricks. I almost couldn’t see where they were against the white of her eyes. Her mane, which was usually flowing behind her, was still and flattened to her as was her tail. I could have mistaken her for a statue if not for the occasional twitch from her eyebrow.
I could only imagine what she had seen. The only consolation I could think of was that I never looked at any beastiality or any Rule 34 of My Little Pony. The only fetish I really had was big boobs and, for reasons I couldn’t understand, hypnotized girls. In all honesty, I wonder if she would’ve preferred it if I had looked at beastiality. Seeing some horse studs may have kept her sane.
Wait. What the fuck am I saying?
I started to walk towards her. It seemed she didn’t notice anything around her as I moved closer. I kept walking and swerved around the pool of vomit. I then bent my knees a little to look her in the eyes. She was still staring straight ahead so I gently moved her head to face me. Her eyes were still the same.
“Celestia,” I whispered.
Nothing.
“Celestia,” I whispered again only slightly louder.
Still nothing.
“Celestia,” I said in my normal level of voice.
By this time, I realized that I probably wasn’t going to get through to her by talking. What to do? Hidden finger jutsu? No, that would be way too creepy. Yell ‘This is Equestria!’ and kick her in the side? Funny for all of five seconds, but not good for my continued survival. Start bench pressing her until she snaps out of it herself? It would be another endurance test for me to try, but again who knows how she’ll react when she snaps out of it. Doodle on her? What am I, five? On that note, why the hell am I coming up with all these retarded ass ideas?
“When in doubt, do what your gut tells you.”
I looked down at my stomach.
“So, gut, what do you have to say for yourself?”
I grab my gut with my right hand.
“First off, I want a cheeseburger,” I said in a slightly shrill voice.
“You always want a cheeseburger.”
“No I don’t. Sometimes I want a burrito!”
“Alright, point to you.”
“Oh! Why don’t you give her a hug?”
“When in doubt, hug it out?” I said almost sarcastically.
“Of course! They like friendship, right? I bet they love hugs!”
My guts' advice given, I look up to check on her once more. She was still looking the same. Looking around to see if anyone else was around to witness my display of madness, I then dropped to one knee, wrapped my hands around her neck, and squeezed softly.
I really hoped this worked. I mean, I may like hugs, but after a while, a hug can get awkward. I also couldn’t see her eyes so I had no idea if this was helping her or not.
“It is helping,” came a meek voice.
It was Celestia. It seems she finally broke out of that trance.
“Are you alright, Celestia?”
“I will be. Those images in your mind are truly something that I hope not to see again.”
“What has been seen-“
“Cannot be unseen,” she finished. “I understand that much more clearly now.”
“I’m sorry you had to see all of that.”
“I will manage. I have seen many things in my time in these lands, but the things that you have seen and the things you have imagined may be even beyond my comprehension.”
“You know, coming from a possibly immortal being, that’s a pretty cool thing to hear.”
Celestia finally pulled away from me. She then looked me in the eyes. Her look of absolute shock was replaced with the same look she had as when we first met at Twilight’s place.
“I know that you are not a threat to my little ponies.”
She snickered a little after hearing herself.
“I suppose for now, every time I say that, it will be a little humorous.”
“Outside context humor will do that. So, you know I’m not a threat. That’s a good thing.”
“I know that.”
She leaned into my face. Her tone became more serious.
“I know you. I know everything that you have done. I know everything you have ever said. I know everything that you have ever felt.”
She paused before continuing.
“And I know that you have no friends.”
That was an odd stopping place.
“I do have-“
“You have had friends in the past. Now, however, is a different matter. You merely have acquaintances. You have no real connections to these people. You have love for your family, but even that is beginning to fade to mere familiarity. In time, you will see them as strangers and eventually you will be alone.”
“Wow that was pretty harsh.”
“It seems that Twilight will be your teacher in more ways than one, Seth.”
“Uh, that was a bit random. What do you mean by that?”
“You are to resume training your magic with Twilight Sparkle. In addition, you are now a student of hers in the study of the magic of friendship.”
I honestly had nothing that I could think to follow that up with.
“You have got to be kidding me.”
Celestia smirked at me.
“I am most serious,” she began in a low tone. “Discord said that you had a big journey ahead of you. I do not know of what he plans to do with you, but I will not send you back without a brand new look upon your life.”
Her horn lit up and she fired a beam at me. I was momentarily blinded and when I could see again, I could also feel something different. I looked down and noticed that I was wearing new clothes. I was now in new full-length black slacks with a white stripe down the side. Covering my torso was a blue tank top. I hated collars so I never really wore anything with one. I was also pretty sure that she even changed my underwear, but I wasn’t about to check that in front of her.
I was also finally wearing some comfortable shoes and socks. I honestly didn’t feel that bad without them, but now that I was wearing something I could feel what I was missing out on.
Last, but not least, on my head was a sports cap. I took it off to get a better look at it. It was a dark blue hat with the word ‘Indianapolis’ stitched on the bill. On the front, there was a white horseshoe. Lastly, on the back, there was the word ‘Colts’ stitched into it just like on the front.
It was almost exactly like the one I had back home. That one was my fourth hat now. I had bought it when I took a trip to Indianapolis to watch a game there. It had been a pretty awesome souvenir. Besides, I had to finally retire my old ‘Super Bowl XLI’ championship one after getting pressured by my family that it was looking a bit haggard, so I started wearing this one.
You know what? Getting a new Colts hat from a princess was probably the best souvenir I didn’t know I could have asked for here... Well, maybe another Super Bowl victory or two couldn't hurt either.
“You know, I can still hear your thoughts and you are rambling on a little too much.”
“You have my memories. You know my spirit runs deep for my favorite team even though I’m living in Kansas now.”
“I believe I am more of a Broncos fan myself.”
“What!?! Why?”
“Oh, no reason.”
She then let slip a wry smile. Oh no. Don’t tell me I did it. I do not believe this.
“Oh God, I created Trollestia.”
“Perhaps,” she said with a growing smirk.
“My new clothes aren’t going to disappear sometime during the day tomorrow are they?”
She put her hoof to her chin.
“That would have been quite amusing. It is too bad I did not think of it.”
“So that whole student in friendship thing was a joke wasn’t it?”
She brought her hoof back to the floor.
“No. That is not a joke. While you are in Equestria, you will learn from Twilight about magic and friendship. While you are there, you will also tell her what you know about her and her friends.”
Quick. Get me a vinyl record to scratch... You know who you are...
“You want me to what now?”
She smiled as she spoke.
“You are going to tell them about what you know about them. You are also to tell them how you acquired this knowledge.”
“Are you nuts? No disrespect or anything, but that just sounds like a recipe for disaster! Do you have any idea what they will do if they think that every little thing they do is being watched as they do it? Especially, uh, whatserface.”
“Fluttershy,” she said helpfully.
“Fluttershy, yes. Thank you. She’s even worse with people’s eyes upon her than I am and that is saying something.”
“Indeed it is,” she said; her smile never leaving her face. “However, the road to being a friend begins with honesty. You have to tell them the truth. Otherwise, how can you build a truthful friendship with them?”
“I know it would be nice to have a friendship with them, but you’re telling me to do something that is against my very nature.”
“I could always resort to blackmail.”
“What?” I said flatly.
“I know all of your secrets. Even the ones that you have forgotten. Some of these secrets will garner you no quarter for the rest of your time here. We both know that you would not know what you are doing in the wilderness. You would not last very long.”
“Trollestia indeed,” I mumbled. “Fine. I will tell them.”
“You will promise me that you will tell them within twenty four hours.”
“Nghhh…”
If there was one thing that she knew would guarantee me to make me do it, it was that. I may lie sometimes and say things that I end up forgetting or things along that line. However, when I actually say ‘I promise’ when I do something, she knows that I would rip a bar off of the gates of Heaven and use it to create an actual North Pole if I said I promised I would. It is the only word of honor I vowed to myself that I would keep no matter what. The one thing I could count on to keep myself from becoming a total nothing in my own eyes. She also knew to word it so I couldn’t use it for later instead of having to do it now.
“You are aware I am still reading your thoughts right now?”
I held my arms out with my palms up.
“Let…It…Gooooooo…”
“Hurry up and promise me.”
I dropped my arms to my sides and hung my head low like I was used to.
“Fine. I promise.”
“You promise what?”
“I promise to tell the girls about how I know about them within twenty four hours,” I gritted out like I was a five year old.
“Good. Check your watch so you know how long you have.”
I checked my watch like she said. It read 5:55 p.m.
“Do you have a clock I can look at to-“
“I believe I do have a clock for that,” she interrupted.
Her horn glowed and there was a bright flash. A second later, I was floating three feet above the floor in Twilight’s library. It took me a few seconds to realize why I was still floating instead of on the floor already.
“I fucking hate you right now, Trollestia.”
With those words spoken, I fell face first into the floor.
“What was that?” I heard Twilight shout from upstairs.
“It’s just me getting magically dumped on my face.”
I hadn’t bothered getting up yet. It just seemed frivolous.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Celestia thought it would be funny to teleport me above the floor and not on it.”
“Princess Celestia! You met with the Princess!?!”
“Pretty much, yes.”
“Well? What did you think of her?”
“She seemed nice,” I said sarcastically.
“Oh yes, she is. She is a wonderful ruler and a great teacher.”
“That’s nice.”
“So, what is it you two talked about?”
“A little of this, a little of that, and she told me to talk to you and your friends about something tomorrow. We can do it whenever, but it needs to be sometime tomorrow.”
“Princess Celestia wanted you to talk to us? Is it serious?”
“Sort of. Just bring all your element friends for a chat. There isn’t a rush other than for tomorrow.”
“I’ll be sure to let them know. You’ll help too Spike.”
I heard a loud snore of a response.
“Spike! Come on!”
Again, All I heard was snoring. I pushed myself up to my knees and looked up. All I saw was the back end of Twilight.
“BRUUUGH!!!”
That was an odd sound. It was kind of like a belch.
“A letter from the Princess!”
Ah. That would explain it.
“Dear Seth, in addition to the matters we discussed I wish you to know that I will work on a method to return you home after you finish with your lessons from Twilight. By lessons, I mean the original ones not your new ones. Those lessons may take a lifetime and you would undoubtedly wish to return home at some point. I will look into the matter personally. Best wishes, Princess Celestia.”
A way home definitely sounds good.
“P.S.: I will be sharing my newly acquired knowledge with Princess Luna as well. Not everything, mind you, but enough to help out while each of us are performing our royal duties. I’m sure you’ll understand.”
“Oh terrific. That sounds just like the best idea ever.”
“What does?”
“Trust me, Twilight; you really don’t want to know.”
“But-“
“If Celestia herself didn’t take it well, then I doubt that you want to follow her there.”
Twilight’s words seemed to catch in her throat. Hearing that her teacher had trouble with something seemed to bring a war of emotions across her face.
“If it helps you any, I’ll be talking about it tomorrow. For right now though, I just want to sleep of my own accord.”
I placed my hand on the chair and rolled off of my knees and right onto it.
“I’ll be waiting for those answers tomorrow.”
I took off my hat and placed it over my head.
“What kind of hat is that?”
“Tomorrow Twilight!"