Again I have to thank everyone for the positive feedback! I also need to apologize for putting this off for so long. I tend to procrastinate sometimes, and real life does not help. Anyway, enjoy and keep on reading!
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“Damn it's been hectic...” Kyle groaned as he showered up, letting the water cascade over his face and body. Still it'd been worth it. Twilight had made for a great, if odd, housemate.
Kyle would admit being somewhat anti-social. His father had been in the military and had been posted all across Canada until he was ten. His family bounced around every three years before his father went off to Afghanistan in the beginning of Two Thousand and Two. Once settling in two blocks away from his aunt, with the fact she lived there being a major factor of his father pushing to be posted to that city, he began attending school and made a few good friends, but could never bring himself out of his own shell to make more. He'd be polite and helpful to others, but that was about it. Hell, with those few friends gone he sometime wondered if he'd be able to make any more good friends.
Oddly he had one dropped right into his lap.
Sighing he worked the shampoo into his hair. Okay, having a unicorn as a friend was as odd as it got (And she had shown him her true form, a purple furred pony with a horn. She looked quite cuddly), but it still counted as a friend. She needed his help, at least until she could get home.
A friend in need, as they say.
So far she was an interesting housemate, asking about humans, earth and even the animals on the planet testing the limits of his knowledge. And she was addicted to Wikipedia and Google, searching odd topics.
Come to think of it the fact she hadn't remarked on pornography on the internet meant that either one; porn was common in her world or two; she hadn't encountered any yet.
If she missed all of the online porn then it was a small miracle that Jesus himself would have been hard pressed to pull off.
Still it was relaxing to get ready for work and not wonder what Twilight wanted to do with the two trunks in the basement. He remembered his Aunt bought them on a whim, claiming that they'd 'come in handy someday.'
They finally did, although what they'd be used for he wasn't too sure.
Shaking his head free he pushed open the curtains pausing as she saw Twilight there, washing her hands. “Oh, sorry Kyle I just needed to... Hey, that's bigger than in the diagrams I saw!”
Blushing Kyle pulled the curtians about his wasit. “DAMMIT TWILIGHT!”
“Oh, right. Nudity thing.” Blushing Twilight stepped back, waving her still wet hands in the air. “Sorry!” Leaving room she shut the door as Kyle sighed.
Twilight was easy on the eyes.
She hadn't quite caught onto the idea of modesty yet though.
She still tended to walk to her room after a shower bare ass naked.
…
And to be honest...
Dat ass!
…
Or was it, dat flank?
----
“Heya Susan.” Kyle let off, walking into work. The place in question was called the Crystal Palace. The spa had Greek style pillars and fake and real crystals for decorations littered about in an attempt to create an ancient, mystical feel. It mostly worked, but some could find it a bit cheesy. Still, it was known for it's excellent service and the wonderful massages, and that Diana painted wonderful patterns on nails.
“Morning Kyle, how was your weekend?” Susan asked, looking up as she typed at the computer at her desk.
“Nothing too eventful.” He replied.
Aside from the unicorn turned human in his house, but no need to mention it.
She nodded as Kyle walked up to her. Susan was a near six foot blonde with Double Ds that was enhanced by the toga style clothes she wore, again to add to the feel of the place. And Susan had no issues with her body, whatsoever.
Once he caught her walking over to his work area, bare from the neck down, of both clothes and hair, asking for shampoo, acting like she was strutting around in a three piece suit.
There were rumors going about, asking if those breasts were real (He had a feeling they were) and if she was a real blonde (No idea), but she was good at her job and handled a lot of the finances.
If you stared at her boobs long enough you just might forget she was a near wizard with math.
“Well get changed and get ready, you have Sergeant Concord first.” Kyle nodded and moved into the back. “Also, Miss Richards is in later! She wants her happy ending!”
“Tell her a fairy tale!” Kyle shouted back as he went into the small closet of his ready area. Being the only man on the staff he had taken the closet as his own change area, with his own toga hanging up. He changed out of his clothes, down to his boxers and slipped the toga and sandals on before stepping out and starting to get ready, checking oils, towels and everything else he needed before starting to stretch out his fingers and wrists, warming them up.
Sure enough, five minutes early (As always) Sergeant Walter Concord walked in. “Hey there, Junior. Been awhile.”
“Yeah, didn't see you in last week.” Kyle replied, nodding as the older man moved to the small change area, behind a screen. “Visiting the grand kids?”
“Damn right.” Walter Concord was a six foot three man who served in the Royal Canadian Military as a foot solider and squad leader. Once he was in Afghanistan, traveling down to a local village for a patrol.
Then his transport was struck by an IED, followed by an RPG. The soldiers got their bearings and took down their attacks, over a dozen in all, with only injuries for themselves, no deaths. Walter called in a damned miracle.
Walter, however, had been thrown about when the IED blew up, and again with the RPG hit, ruining the transport and nearly killing them all and nearly breaking his back in two. As it was it had four fractures on his spine and was lucky to have not severed anything.
Patched up he was sent home to recover, but suffered chronic pains during his recovery. By the time he was able to stand, even with a back brace, it was clear painkillers alone wouldn't cut it. So his doctors sent him to the Crystal Palace.
At first he didn't enjoy the visits. While it did help somewhat no one there had the strength to massage the tough, muscular man to correctly work his muscles. Then Kyle showed up three weeks later and took a crack at it.
Walter found the effects almost immediately. The pain went away for days and only returned as a dull ache. Now well enough to move without assistance the pain was a memory and he came back to have the younger man limber him up again.
“So, any word on when they send you back to kill more terrorist?” Kyle asked as Walter walked back, laying down on the table with a towel about his waist.
“Told they ain't sending me back.” Walter replied as Kyle's hands applied some oil to his back from a nearby bottle before he moved to his shoulder, getting to work kneading the muscles. “Gonna make me a drill instructor they say.”
“Well, safer job.” Kyle replied, smiling a bit. “Not more landmines to trip over. Just newbies crapping their pants.” Walter gave off a long laugh at that, Kyle himself shaking his head.
“Long as they do it in the toilets.”
The session continued on in that vein. Walter talked about his career and men he'd met before going on about a letter his squad-mates sent. Near the end he also mentioned a desire to head off to see the Highway of Heroes and just walk along the road.
Kyle himself just listened and nodded. The people he met often made his day and Walter was one of the best to have.
He just felt it would be a good day.
----
Once more Twilight scratched her head as she looked down at her bed and what she laid atop of it.
Bras and panties.
Skirts and dresses.
Shirts and pants.
Boots and gloves.
Shoes and hats.
All of these items Kyle's Aunt once owned and were more or less hers for the duration of her stay. It was odd to her that humans would have or need so much clothing. The idea that struck her as the oddest was the idea of 'casual' outfits. Not outfits you wear to look good in, or to do work or to go to a party. Just stuff you wear to lounge around in. Or go to the store.
Or anything really.
Humans even had pajamas. It took some explaining from Kyle to understand what they were for.
Why would a species need to have clothes to cover themselves when they slept? Even asleep they can't be naked?
Humans were damned confusing.
Still if she stopped long enough she had to ask herself a question.
Why did humans wear clothing all the time and ponies very rarely?
If she thought about it the ponies that wore clothes most of the time were of higher social status. Prince Blueblood, the few times she saw him, always had something dashing on. Princess Celestia was well known for her royal jewelery, although by human definitions she was still nude. For ponies it was mostly a status symbol. True, like humans there was sexual arousal from seeing the other genders (And for most mares and some stallions, the same genders) genitalia, but a stallions penis was hidden in his sheath while a mares vagina was hidden by her tail. True, the odd peek was unavoidable, but unless you had a very short tail or kept it raised it wouldn't be seen and no fuss was made.
By contrast, as she had already written, human genitalia was right out there in the open, in plain view. If a human wore no clothing you could see everything.
Sighing she went back to the computer to find out more about clothing.
To be honest she wondered about humans sometimes. Such a big nudity taboo and yet find thousands of pictures of humans naked was easy as pie on the internet.
Often while mating.
Maybe humans had a complex with their nudity taboo; it must have somehow made them want to consume more porn.
x---x
Dear Princess Celestia
As I mentioned earlier, humans almost always wear clothing and have clothing for every occasion, even sleeping. Yes, sleeping. These are called 'pajamas'. Most pajamas seem to be made of light cloth and are more or less pants and a shirt of some kind. Some humans forgo this, using underwear.
Underwear alone is interesting enough. To begin with they are worn under the other garments, hence the name underwear. What underwear you put on is based upon gender.
Males wear 'briefs' or 'boxers'. Briefs are tighter fitting, sometimes called 'tighty-whities', and covers the buttocks to the waist. There is a flap in the front, apparently so they can fish their penis out to make it easier to urinate. I thought they were there to make mating easier at first.
Boxers are looser fitting and cover down to the thighs, roughly midway, depending on make and fit. Like the briefs they also have flaps in the front.
Females wear bra and panties. The bra is for the breasts. The breasts are a sign of fertility, and thus sexual arousal, so most women like to cover them. Also for women who's breasts are larger they help avoid them bouncing around too much as they move. My understanding is breast sizes have been increasing in human females over the past couple generations, based on the odd study I found.
Panties are like briefs minus the flap. They also come in various sizes ranging from ones that cover the entire buttocks to ones that cover the vagina, anus and almost nothing else. These are called 'thongs' it seems with a strap going between the cheeks of the buttocks. I do have two from Kyle's Aunt's drawer and they fit... snugly.
I can't explain the sensation. It's not unpleasant and you do get used to it.
Underwear, particularly the female pair of bra and panties, are often considered to be erotic. Some, mostly the thongs, are worn to help get mates aroused for sex.
As an add on to the culture content of the last letter, humans are oddly obsessed with sex. I am not sure if it's because of or in spite of their nudity taboos.
Women also have other garments to wear to help crate arousal with their underwear. The phrase for this is apparently 'lingerie'.
After underwear is on the clothing picked depends on what the human is doing. Uniforms are obvious, they tell you what that person's job is. Formal outfits are similarity to our own, with differences. Men wear tuxedos or dress uniforms while women wear dresses, however most of the dresses we would consider normal (Such as what my friends and I wore at the Grand Galloping Gala) would be considered garish. They seem to prefer a 'less is more' approach, with one or two color dresses and a lack of patterns. Cut and style are still important, but they are not as fancy as what we would wear.
There are also outfits used to impress the opposite sex, either with expensive designer clothing to show off wealth or clothing that exposes the skin to show off the body. Some women pick outfits to show off 'cleavage', which seems to be the space between the breasts. I'm not sure if it's the space when the breasts are apart or pushed together or both. This, again, leads to a strange phenomena were a human female dressed in very little clothing is considered to be 'promiscuous' because she prefers less clothing over more.
On the opposite side women who cover up too much are considered too 'stiff' or 'uptight'. I'm starting to think due to the fact that males were traditionally in power that females were oppressed for sometime, with lingering aftereffects on the mental state of human society. It's not unlike our own in reverse. Due to the higher ratio of mares, and yourself as our sovereign, oppression of males was common in Equestria and some of those aftereffects still linger. I recall sometime ago that a pegasus mare that visited, Speed Wing, once referred to a stallion, Big Macintosh, as best being 'left to plow fields, and then plow my fields'.
Applejack was quite upset over the rather... inappropriate remarks she made and went to confront her. She took flight.
Rainbow Dash proved to be both faster and stronger and dragged her back for her tongue lashing. And the only reason it was verbal because I held her back.
Have you ever lifted an Ursa Major? Holding back an enraged Applejack is about as hard.
Regardless, back to the subject as hoof (Or at hand as humans would say).
When humans don't have a job to do, a mate to find or such things they indulge in 'casual' clothing. This is clothing that human will lounge around in, go to the store, do some unimportant task or just pal around with friends in. The most common combination I can find are jeans and t-shirts. Jeans, for humans anyway, aren't just work clothes, they've become normal clothes everyone wears. T-shirts are short sleeved shirts that bare most of the arms of the person wearing them. They come in every patten and color and, oddly, a lot have pictures or slogans written on them. While shirts with pictures aren't unknown to us (Rainbow Dash has five Wonderbolt shirts. That I know of.) humans have far, far more. A look through Kyle's wardrobe shows off a few. Slogans like 'You Can't Fix STUPID' or something about AC-DC (Why humans would devote t-shirts to electrical current, I don't know.), to an image of an overgrown lawn with the phrase 'I fought the lawn and lawn won'.
In addition humans change clothing depending on the seasons. Lighter clothing, like shorts and the t-shirts come out in spring and summer. In the autumn longer shirts and pants are the norm, and in winter they wear much thicker clothing. This also applies to jackets; lighter ones in the summer, waterproof ones for rainy days and thicker ones for when it's cold and snowy out (Or just cold).
For the feet humans wear shoes or boots. Unlike our own they cover up to the ankle or higher. Some forms, like flip flops, only cover the soles. High heels (Think high hoof slippers, but with more lift) are popular among women for formal occasions and when seeking mates (Something about making the legs and flank look good), but they seem awkward to wear. I'm having a hard enough time being bipedal, I don't think I can handle my heels being four inches higher than my toes.
Humans also have body armor; unsurprising given their history as warriors. In ancient times, much like Griffons, it was leather then metal. One difference is humans created 'chainmail', which was a shirt made of small links of chain. While ineffective at stopping blunt impacts or piercing attacks like plates armor could, they were much better at stopping slashing weapons and were much lighter. Today plate armor is obsolete. Humans have weapons called guns. A basic gun can send a small projectile at speeds beyond sound. The force is much like what happens when a blacksmith strikes a solid steel nail into a plate. By that I mean a big, heavy swing, not a little 'pound out the dents' swing. Armor has evolved in the form of Kevlar, a layered material which can absorb the force of the impact, although it still supposed to still hurt the wearer.
Leather is still used as 'armor', but for bikers who ride fast on what I can best call motorized scooters. It's... another thing I'll need to explain another time.
There is also groups of humans called 'nudists' who forgo clothes. Due to laws enforcing decency (In other words, wearing clothing) they tend to forgo clothes on private property and in 'nudist colonies'. Most non-nudist seem to view this as weird or simply absurd, while others think they're actively sinning. One person left a message on an internet forum expressing the opinion that all nudist are sexual deviants and are teaching their children immoral things. It should be noted these nudists tend to stay towards warmer climates; I don't think any of them would stay naked in a snowstorm.
While that's all I have on the subject for now, I wanted to add a personal note here.
I really am missing everypony. Kyle is helping me cope, don't worry about that but I do miss my friends. I miss Ponyvillie. And I miss you.
I am eager to see you again.
Signed your Faithful Student
Twilight Sparkle
x---x
“I'm home!” Kyle called out as he walked back in, kicking his shoes off. Sighing he walked over to the couch and sat down before stretching out. Twilight came out from the hall a moment later, now in jeans and a black, button up t-shirt.
“Welcome home. How was work?” She asked, moving over to sit on the chair to his right.
“Eh, work.” Kyle replied, shrugging. “Walter's a joy to have in, new client had me work on her and her daughter, little young for massages if you ask me but whatever. Then Miss Richards.”
“Is she difficult?” Twilight asked, leaning on the armrest. She knew the Spa Sisters had the odd grumpy customer.
“Not really, she just loves to tease and flirt with anything younger than thirty and male.” Kyle shrugged. “She's okay, but way too much sometimes, you know?”
“I think I get you.” Twilight replied, nodding as Kyle grabbed the TV remote.
She settled in to watch with him.
The first thing that came on was a commercial for a restaurant, talking about an item of food.
A&W and it's mama burger.
Beef.
Cow.
Meat.
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Notes: Yes we are FINALLY getting to meat next chapter. You are welcome.