Humans Assemble!

by Mistershield


Humanoid Typhoon

Chapter 54- The Humanoid Typhoon



Dear Reader, time has been turned backward for the moment. As it stands, we are now traveling closer to Appleloosa. We are now in Humans Assemble, Day 3.


The nomadic buffalo tribe made their way through the vast untamed wilderness that is the southern part of Equestria. As they moved further and further away from San Palomino, more and more vegetation could be seen. Traveling in the morning also made it easier. The color yellow grew less common, and the color of brown fertile soil was more prominent. The larger ones traveled in the front, spreading the traveling area and also clearing the area ahead of the wagons.

Toph was inside of the healing wagon, being drawn by Raining Meadows. After all, she was her patient. Unfortunately, the earthbender had to be sedated with various herbs. Still suffering from dehydration and malnutrition, Toph needed to rest for another day before she would be given a clean bill of health. Little Strongheart marched alongside the wagon, with some of the other younglings. They were curious about the human that could control the earth.

“How is the... Guest?” Chief Thunderhooves said, approaching the wagon. He wasn’t sure how to refer to Toph. Human? Teen? Girl?

“Still asleep, thankfully. You had no idea how much the female did not want to rest...” Meadows said to sigh. “Who knew a blind creature could put up such a struggle. But she should be well by tomorrow. Why do you ask?”

“Do you remember our mission? If Toph Bei Fong has human family in Appleloosa, they may be of help for our cause.”

“What do you mean Chief?” Little turned her head to look over at Thunderhooves and join in.

“As you know, we wish to set up a trade shop and a grazing home for our elders no longer able to travel,” The male buffalo said. Little nodded, following along. Since still considered a youngling, she was not present during adult talks. “While we have our choice of land since its ours, we still need money for materials, medicine, equipment, food, and other things. Winning the Rodeo will not only give us the money we need, it will also help to promote buffaloes among the other races of Equestria and of the planet.”

“Is getting known that important?”

“Yes Little. Only the Bison and the Northern Ox tribes know of us. If griffons and other races know of our culture and our wares, we can get more business,” Chief said to smile.

“Indeed. It is also about time we buffaloes learn of other cultures as well. Learning about other race medicines will only help our race as an example,” Raining Meadows said to smile at the little one.

“I think I understand. I also hope Toph finds other humans. It would be really sad if she is the only human here on Equestria...”
________________________________________

Braeburn made his way from the town outskirts and headed towards Appleloosa’s orchards. It made sense to keep the apple groves closer to the water.The orange cowpony smiled, moving a hoof up to his hat and tip in a greeting to those he passed by. ’An absolutely beautiful day’ The stallion thought to himself. The morning was bright, the sun shining, but the multiple ridges and the river valley kept the town and apples from getting too hot. Another wonderful day to start the final harvest before the Rodeo.

“Just two more days, huh Sheriff,” Braeburn said to smile at the mustache fellow. “What brings you to this side of town? Ah’ve woulda figured you got yer hooves busy with the town’s hoopla.”

“Still early in da day Braeburn. I’ve got time before everypony and the competitors get in full gear,” Silverstar said with a smile. His black hat and scarf were set up along with his vest in case things got rowdy. The minotaurs and the oxen sometimes got a bit full on sarsaparilla. “Figured I’d take a look on the last apples the town will need.”

“Eeyup!” The male Apple turned to look ahead and spot the other ponies getting to the orchards and start working. “This gonna be a big one, Ah can feel it. Town’s gonna make it big thanks to this rodeo. We have to thank those donkeys for the idea.”

“Who woulda thought, right? Such a big idea from newcomers,” The Sheriff added. He nodded and stopped walking to look over the others. Braeburn left the sheriff and headed to grab a cart. Once he was hitched, he took off to the farthest end of the orchards. Made sense to start further away and make your way closer in. Also, it was a good idea to inspect the apple trees away from the water. Had to make sure the apples were growing well.

Until he heard the sound of crunching. Lots of munching. Lots of inhaling of air. Lots of Omn Nom Noms. Breaburn stopped and raised both ears in front of himself and turn to face the direction of the noises. He took a second to unhitch himself from the cart from himself, trying to be quiet. He doubted it was one of the Appleloosan residents, they were welcome to the apples at anytime. So he thought it may have been one of the competitors. If it was, he was in for a rude surprise. They were not allowed to take apples that belonged to both the Southern Buffalo and the Appleloosians.

Braeburn blinked though, when he turned his head around a tree to look at the strangest thing he had ever seen in his life. The figured was tall, even tall enough to actually pluck apples from tree branches. If he thought about it, maybe even taller than the a minotaur. The... Thing? Was way too thin to be a minotaur, also lacked the horns. It had long curly blond mane, and was dressed really weird. Lots of black straps tied around the boots and gloves. Black pants and gloves, and the longest red cloak/coat thing he had ever seen. The red coat was wrapped around his form tightly from the upper body, but hung loosely over his legs like a cloak.

“I’d never thought apples could taste so good!” Vash the Stampede cried out as he was busy plucking apples from trees to bring them to his mouth and bite away from them like they were donuts. Discarded apple cores lay at his feet. Braeburn blinked twice, leaning his head back a bit to study the scene. The stallion was stunned, he knew no creature that could eat like that, and Vash looked so weird to him. After what seemed like seconds, Vash finally stopped eating.

“Well, maybe one more...” Vash moved his left hand up to grasp a nice shiny apple and pull it from the branch. He moved to polish the apple against his chest and was about to take a bite. But the reflection of a figure on the shiny fruit made him stop. The human in red turned to look at Braeburn. The human was left with his mouth open, almost taking a bite out of the fruit.

Braeburn had his mouth open, bit shocked now. He was looking at the ugliest thing he had ever seen in his life. This... This thing didn’t have a muzzle! But all creatures, dragons, ox, minotaur, pony, donkey, buffalo- They all had muzzles! Even pets had them.

Vash stood still, wondering what he should do. He was looking at the very definition of what crazy people saw when they drank cactus juice. It was... What on the name of planet Gunsmoke was he seeing? A hat and a vest on an animal. Vash couldn’t place it. His mind did a rapid backwards check. A horse? He remembered back to when he was a child, seeing all those picture galleries along with Rem. It was kinda like that, but something was off. This animal had eyes as big as that blasted black cat.

“Oh hello. Were these your-”

“Apple Wrangler!” Braeburn screamed out.

“Wait, you can talk?!” Vash asked with his eyebrows raised.

“Hold it right there! Apple thief! Sound the alarm!” Braeburn yelled out to lift his hooves up to shut his eyes and scream out loud. Vash turned his head to the sides as an alarm was sounded it. It was metal being pounded, a ladle being slammed against a large pan.

“Apple bandit? Where?!” Sheriff Silverstar ran over towards where Vash and Braeburn were.

“Can’t we talk about this?” Vash asked, his eyes closed to drop the apple. Both of his hands moved up to hold them palm out, in a defensive posture. “I’m really-”

“Sheriff! Over here!”

“Sheriff?!” Vash said, his eyes opened wide. That word he knew, and he was not sticking around. Vash move his left hand to grab hold of a giant cross under a blanket to hang it over his right shoulder and run.

“Its getting away!” Braeburn yelled out, turning to look as Vash ran away from the river. The blonde raised his head to look around the area, giving it a quick look over. While he wanted to say it reminded him of Gunsmoke, something was also off with it. Too many trees, and it looked nothing like that place with the nice folks that wanted their only son to inherit the only patch of fertile land.

And lots of little critters on four legs. All of them staring at him like he was a bad guy. While used to it, he was not used to seeing it from animals with eyes bigger than a human ones.

“Its the Apple Thief! Get it!”

“Gah!” Vash cried out, his eyes getting bigger as the quadruped creatures got closer. “Why are you guys so fast?!” He yelled out to pick up his speed. Why did he decide to carry this cross?!

Shut up needle noggin! Its heavy because its filled with mercy.

“Now you talk to me Wolfwood?” Vash said, eyes closed as he ran. The human moved his left hand up and down as his legs rushed through the flaps of his long coat. His other hand held on to the strap that carried the Cross Punisher. The ponies tending the orchards dropped their tasks and joined Braeburn and the Sheriff to run after the varmit. Thanks to the direction of the herd, Vash was heading towards the town.

“Why are there so many of you?” Vash cried out, his mouth open to breath easier as he ran. He turned his head back to find several ponies running after him. In fact, there was so many collected that they were creating a large trail of dust behind them.

“If you give up lady, we’ll go easy on you!” Sheriff Silverstar cried out as he lead the charge.

“I’m not a girl!” Vash cried out to look straight ahead of himself. Town limits was just up ahead through the dirt road.

“You heard him! He ain’t a girl! Show no mercy!”

“Whatever happened to gender equality?!” Vash shouted as he spotted more of these creatures in the town. Vash stopped a second, turning to look at the... Banners? Vash picked up his head to read the name on the wooden sign. “Appleloosa...” The humanoid said, blinking once. That was not the name of any settlement on Gunsmoke. “And welcome to the International Rodeo?” Did they even have those on the planet anymore?

“Fifty Big ones to the pony that catches that apple thief!” Braeburn shouted out to the residents of the town. The ponies chasing the human were close enough to town now to be heard.

“Did he say 50 bits?!”
“Apple Thief?!”
“Get him!”

“Can we afford that Braeburn?” Sheriff Silverstar turned to look at the orange cowpony.

“We’ll just have to take it from the prize money from a contest. We can’t have a thief ruin Appleloosa good name just before the big rodeo!” Braeburn said a bit angry. The sheriff nodded.

“Aw come on! Can’t we get along?!” Vash cried out, tired of running. At the sight of the ponies and now oxen and buffaloes joining in the chase, Vash took a quick turn to the left to duck into an alley. Various creatures from the Appleloosan side turned and begun to follow the strange red one. The first to turn into the alley was Braeburn though, having been the closest. When he turned into the alley, he had expected to corner the apple thief. It was a dead end, the alley was between two close buildings.

“Aha! Now Ah-” Braeburn came to a stop, having to slide a few feet on the ground to throw some dust up into the air. He had been going too fast to stop. The stallion turned his head to the sides quickly. “Where’d he go?” Vash the Stampede vanished into thin air.

“Braeburn did you-” Sheriff stopped also, narrowing his eyes to look around. He was stumped. “Did he teleport using magic?”

“Ah... Not sure,” Braeburn said to lower his head to look at the ground. The footprints made by the varmint stopped a few feet from the wooden fence. “His tracks just... End.” The Apple cousin turned his head to look at the others gathering outside the alley.

“Hey, were you serious about that 50 bits?” An orange ox asked from the crowd.

“Eeyup! 50 bits to the pony-” Braeburn stopped, turning to look at the non-pony races gathering. “Erm, reward to whichevah captures that thief!”

“Oh man... Those guys are serious,” Vash said. He had jumped off from wall to wall to land on top of a building. He lay his body against the shingle roof, taking note of all the creatures gathered. Not a single human among them. Seriously though? Only 50 bits? He was the 60 billion double dollar man!

“I shouldn’t be proud of that,” Vash sighed and slowly started to move from the roof to duck from view. Lets see. These were all animals. They apparently could talk, and they could reason as well. They know the value of money, and could farm on their own. This wasn’t Gunsmoke. He stopped crawling though, turning his head to look at a loose shingle that started to slide from his right hand. Both of his eyes opened immediately to see the red roof part betray him. His right hand moved to steady the shingle.

“Do you think he jumped the fence?”

Vash turned his head, hearing the voices of some noises. They were still there? Vash’s mouth opened wide as his eyes grew bigger than should be possible as now he saw another shingle from his left hand now starting to slip. Now was the time to debate to stop wearing metal plated boots and carrying the giant cross while roof hopping.

“I kinda doubt it, he was carrying something on his back.”

Vash moved his left hand, trying to stop the new shingle from moving. He released a sigh, only to perk up his head at more sounds. Shingles from the left hand now started to slide down in a row against his hand.

“Alright, lets form a posse. Somepony get the dogs, see if they can git his scent...”

Vash strained his mouth and eyes, trying to push the shingle back up. Now the right side of the shingles started to push down against his hand.

“You don’t think he jumped up the walls?”

The human turned his head at that comment, struggling to keep himself from getting pushed down. That was until he felt his whole body shift down a few inches. The shingles on his feet started to slide down. Sweatdrops started to fall from his face.

“You know, that thing was pretty tall..”

Vash started to shake his head to the sides, as if trying to tell the shingles to stop moving. That was until he saw a black cat walk along the rooftop.

That blasted cat! He was looking down at the top of the shingles that had yet to slip down. Vash’s lips started to mouth “Please please please” as his whole body started to fall lower and lower down the roof. Tears started to form at the end of his eyes as the cat moved a single paw to point at a shingle.

“Alright, some of us should stay here in case he is hiding.”

The cat turned to look at Vash a second, leaving its paw in the air. Vash shut both eyes, mouthing “No no no no” with his mouth. The cat turned to look back at the shingle.

“Okay! Are we ready to split up?”

The cat pushed the shingles down with its paw.

“Gah!” Vash opened his eyes wide, his breath caught in his throat as she started to slide down over the edge of the roof.

“What the-” Braeburn turned to look as roof shingles started to fall and break against the ground at his hooves. He took some steps back to look up and see the thief trying to swim up the falling roof tiles to hoist himself back up. It was almost funny.

“There he is! How’d he get up there?” Sheriff asked to frown.

“What did I ever do to you? Stupid cat!” Vash cried out to swing his limbs up and down. Two knives burst from the bottom of his boots for him to stab into the side of the building to keep him from slipping. Once he got a hold, he managed to climb back up to set himself on the bare roof.

“Get back down here!”

“I’m not a bad guy! Really! I fully intended to pay for the fruit!” Vash cried out to stand on the roof. Once he was secure, he peeked down. “I think you’re overreacting for a few apples.”

“Just a few apples! We need those!” A pony yelled out. A few of the others started to join in to shout at the human.

“Look, if I come down will you-” Vash ducked his head, moving both arms out to cover his chest and face to avoid a tin can thrown at him.

“Baaa!” A goat cried out.

“The goat’s right! That reward is mine!”

“Eep!” Vash shouted as he started to dodge rocks and other things thrown at him. He turned around to start running along the roof.

And thus, the chase for the bounty on the humanoid typhoon begun.
____________________________________

“I see...” The Queen of the Changelings frowned a bit after reading the letter from the King. Damn, the ponies had caught on to the backup plan. She was currently sitting down in a tunnel entrance close to the Galloping Gorge. Dull blue and dark blue mineral stripes adorned the walls. While banished from Canterlot, she had enough power to resist some of the buffer field created by the power of love. A few changelings managed to join her. Imago the Elder was among them. There were a few candles set on a wooden table to let the Queen and Imago plan.

Imago placed the letter down to look over at his queen. Like the other changelings, he had the same green eyes and black bodies as the others. Unlike most other changelings though, his body had aged. His carapace was a dull purple color, and his black fangs were chipped. The rest of his body was covered by a black cape to keep his body warm.

“At least some kind of counter offensive was mustered,” Imago said, his voice a bit raspy. “And this ‘hu-man’ your dolt of a husband found, may be the best find he’s ever made.”

“Hush now. I’m thinking,” Chrysalis said to furrow her brow. “According to his message, he says we should gather our forces and find allies. What do you say?”

“We have no cards left. If Celestia goes from town to town and casts that magic suppression spell, all will be for naught. At least Aurelius had the bright idea to start pulling back the hive from towns. We may as well try. My Queen, you defeated Celestia once, so your name will carry weight with potential allies seeking to overthrow Equestria.”

“That look on her face alone was worth it when I struck her down,” Crysalis said to laugh. “Who can we get through? Griffons and minotaurs are already waiting for us.”

“It is because of her defeat that she has gotten wary... These other mercenaries pose a serious threat, and who knows how many other exist. While it may be fruitless, for the good of the hive we must even the odds. Maybe we can find others that hate Equestria. I doubt Discord, he’s still in stone. Maybe this Sombra?”

“Bah. Allying ourselves with others will be a waste of time. And this Sombra lost to a single baby dragon.” Rumors were spread around quickly. “But so be it. Find Sombra. We must send word to the other generals. If we want allies, lets show them what my changelings can do.”
______________________________________

A dark green minotaur with a long mustache and a hat on his head picked up his head to look at the hot sun. Did he just spot a shadow overhead? Must have been a bird... The minotaur lowered his head to look back at the streets to find Vash. How long had the red creature been running for, anyway? It seemed too long now. The human had just hopped several feet to land on another building to duck down next to a chimney.

“What are those things?” Vash asked. They were huge! It kinda looked like a man that got turned into some kind of animal.

“I found him!” A light brown pony cried out as he looked up from a ladder against a building.

“Is this really necessary?” Vash turned to look at the pony and frown. He stood up on the roof to start running again, this time to hop on another roof. This one was a long jump, some of these buildings were not close together at all. He landed on the other one, rolling a bit to bring himself up with his left knee on the roof. Maybe staying on the rooftops wasn’t a good idea anymore. He found his eyes and body shake rapidly as something hard hit the side of the pony express.

“Get down here!” The green half bull, half goat said. He lowered his head to ram into the post office once more.

“Hey, stop that! This is a government building! I think...” Vash picked up his head and turned to look at the other end of town. He was close to the edge, and with any luck he could make it to the ridgeline and climb and head out of this humanless town. Last thing he needed was another bounty. Just when another minotaur was going to slam into the building, the human jumped off the roof to land on the ground in a crouching position.

“Hey! We finally made him fall down! Yeah!” The two minotaurs pumped fists and then turned to look at Vash. Not bothering to wait, the humanoid picked himself up to stand and run for the exit. Up ahead, there was a wooden fence that lead to the back of town. He was just thankful he had better stamina and speed compared to regular humans- He’d never be able to outrun these four legged sapient beings otherwise.

“Baaaa!” A goat cried out to point over at Vash. While most of the posse had spread out over town, a few moved at the exits to try and block off his escape. The goat grabbed a whistle and started to blow on it. The other residents turned to look at the exit of town to spot the strange creature. Vash didn’t stop running though, there was only a few guards there. He took a quick turn to the left and headed for one of the wooden corral. Easily jumped over. The goats at the exit opened their mouths to witness the red robed figure jump over the fence and land on the other side.

“Whoo! Never been run out of a town by animals before,” Vash said as he rose up to stand and look behind himself. He better start running before... His gaze looked upward to look at the clocktower. Did he spot some glinting? A mirror? A sniper scope?! He turned his head to look at the direction the mirror pointed to and pick up his head to look at a ridgeline close to town. That... Those were a lot of rocks just waiting there. Some donkeys were also up there, using some wood to start pushing the rocks loose.

“There he is!” Sheriff Silverstar cried out as most of the ponies started to chase towards the end of town.

“No...” Vash said in a low voice to himself. All of those animals chasing him would get crushed by the rocks. They were too busy to notice the rocks and just making a break for him and his bounty. He doubted the animals would believe him, but he started to run back to town and lift his left hand to point up at the rocks. “Stop! Look out! Get back!” There was still time.

“Hah! That prize money is ours!”
“Get back here!”

Braeburn frowned a bit, hearing the shouting going on. But he was also confused. “Why is he running back at us?” He thought to himself. He picked up his head to the side and look up. He stopped running, letting others run past him. “Oh no...”

“Why don’t you things ever listen?!” Vash cried out to pass the wooden fence back into town. He stopped to slide a bit, moving his arms and hands to grab the Cross Punisher. He didn’t want to hurt the creatures, but they weren’t listening. Using the giant cross as a blunt weapon, he swung it to hit the goats away from his form. “Look up damnit!”

It was too late, as the donkeys managed to loosen the rocks and let them start falling over to the town. While some of the rocks were small, they picked up speed as they fell and roll down. And the larger boulders were going to be trouble. Many of the creatures stopped to look up, finally feeling vibrations on the earth.

“Get back! Sheriff!” Braeburn yelled out to try to move and block some of the residents from advancing. The goats that got knocked back from Vash raised their heads to look up and spot the rocks. The quickly got up and started to run out of town. By this time, most of the Equestrians chasing him stopped and started to panic at the falling rocks.

“What do I do?!” Vash shouted, sweat starting to fall down the side of his face. With little time, there was no more chance to grab a gun and start shooting to scare off the animals. Should he use the Cross Punisher? No, too many rocks to shoot with rockets. He let the cross fall to the ground and dug it into the ground behind himself to brace against it. Both hands free, Vash moved to grab the gunmetal .45 Long Colt into his right hand. The sides of the barrel flew off, exposing a green power generator that started to glow brighter and brighter.

“Get down!” Vash shouted. The red sleeve of his right arm burst and ripped along with his shirt to reveal his arm was getting longer and thicker. But gone was the color of white skin, and a grey looking bone-like structure replaced his humanoid arm. The gun and arm were both covered and fused together quickly. The center of his arm took a large ball of yellow as rings formed over the tip of the barrel. A large feathers emerged out from his shoulder, connected to the gun cannon as it took its completed shape.

The gathered creatures all turned to look at Vash’s odd transformation, stunned by the change the creature went through. Braeburn bore witnessed to this, amazed they all thought to chase after this thing.

“What are you waiting for! Get down!” Vash shouted again as a black ball started to gather at the tip of the gun and then grew bigger and brighter. Vash’s left arm then exposed its true form as well. Like before, his red coat was split open. The glove he wore was also torn off, exposing metal fingers. The hand was held open to catch a hidden arm gun, a higher caliber than the .45 that connected from his forearm. He pointed the new barrel to the side of the giant gun. He fired.

“Get down!” Braeburn shouted, spotting the incoming laser fire. He jumped up to grab some ponies to push them down to the floor. A large laser blast flew out from the right arm wing cannon. The blue-white light flew out to evaporate the falling rocks, just when one was about to land on a minotaur. Vash gritted his teeth, the force of the blast pushing him back against the planted cross. The rocks caught by the blast vanished, but the lazer continued to fire.

“Ahhhhhhh!” Vash shouted, unable to stop the blast. Vash pulled the trigger on his left hand to make high impact bullets fire and shoot into the side of the right arm. Slowly the lazer blast was being pushed away from the ground level and up towards the ridgeline. Any of the falling rocks were being instantly obliterated, not even leaving any ash behind. The large minotaurs that had ducked down a bit, picked up their heads as they no longer felt superheated light close to their heads.

The others joined in, opening their eyes to look at the light blast moved upward to point at the sky. Vash continued to fire, forcing the giant hand to point at the sky until the blast stopped. The sheriff turned to look behind himself, looking as the light had left a large crater and leaving holes in the hills. At least the orchards were spared.

Vash stopped shooting, letting his left arm relax and fall at his side. The large cannon on his right arm slowly begun to release less and less light. The last grew thinner and thinner before it finally stopped. The gun begun to recede, the bone light frame going back into his arm. The mechanical gun arm was also released from his left hand to slip back into the case that was his left arm. “Is everyone alright?”

The others turned to look at him, moving to stand up and look at the humanoid. Vash’s right arm was now exposed to them all, leaving a few wondering where that wing thing had gone. The others turned to look at each other. Not a single rock landed on any of them, or even landed on the ground. It seems they were alright.

“We... We are alright,” Braeburn said to stand up and walk over to Vash.

“Oh, that’s great,” Vash said, smiling a little to close both eyes. “I’m glad no one was hurt.” Speaking of anyone, the humanoid picked up his head to look at the ridgeline, least what was left of it. Not a single donkey was seen.

“Thank ya stranger. We owe you our lives,” Sheriff Silverstar walked over to join Vash. “We’re sorry about trying to catch you there... Big Rodeo have all of us on edge.”

“Its okay, I think. Hey, can you now let me pay for those apples?” Vash said, opening his eyes and looking around. A goat jumped his left leg. Vash blinked twice.

“Umm, the bounty’s off,” Braeburn said, shaking his head at the blue goat. The goat released a sigh, but then nodded. “What’s yer name stranger? I’m Braeburn, and welcome to APPLELOOSA!”

“I think I need to learn a few things about this place. My name’s Vash,” He said. No way he was going to let himself get called Stampede with so many animals that could actually cause one around. Or humanoid typhoon either. “You got anything to eat? Using that blast takes a lot out of me..”

“Well, we got apples, but a lot of the competitors in town have been making lots of new stuff in town!” Braeburn smiled and turned to introduce Donut Joe.

“You got donuts here?!” Vash exclaimed, his eyes turning into wide saucers. Joe smiled, with Cooking Mama at his side holding a bunch of donuts on a plate. “I love you guys!” Just in time, as the buffaloes and Toph were arriving at the outside of town.

Chapter Notes: Cooking Mama and Donut Joe? Its that or the Dunkin Donuts guy. Cooking Mama doesn’t get to leave the kitchen much.

Chapter proofreaded by LyonAzakura.

Bonus:

“Wait... how many twins are there?” Snake asked to look around. “I’m a genetically formed twin..”

“I have an estranged twin.” Travis added. “I’m trying to bang his wife.”

“You pig. I have a dark doppelganger... Or had one,” Samus said to frown at the antihero.

“Umm, I shot my twin brother through his legs to make him behave,” Vash commented.

“Well Dante’s my twin brother. Bastard keeps trying to kill me...” Vergil said.

“Wow, talking about deranged and dysfunctional families,” Snake said to frown. “Least none of us have our twins here...” Snake stopped talking to look at all the Pinkie Pies.

“It’s Pinkie season,” Vergil said to draw his sword and grin. “Just pretend its your twin.”

“Won’t Dan get mad at us for killing his fiance?” Samus asked as the other humans grabbed some weapons. They all turned to see Dan grinning as he chased a few Pinkie Pie down with his grenade launcher and laugh.