Inside HQ's Minotaur-class Battlecruiser orbiting planet... Something. 7:30 AM on-board time.
"Commander Mike, you will be sent to Ohana to take care of a Protoss expeditionary fleet for the 435th time. Like every other time, failure is not an option."
"You are going to send me there with just a command center and six SCVs again?"
"Yes."
"Why don't you just throw some 50 Thors in there and call it a day?"
"Dunno."
"..."
"..."
"Fine. Anything I should know?"
"Shoot everything that moves and isn't red."
"Understood."
Out of the battlecruiser, a command center was shot towards the surface. Engulfed in a sphere of fire as it entered the atmosphere yet receiving no damage at all. Once landing safely, six SCVs got out of the building and began collecting minerals while the Command Center began manufacturing more SCVs.
"Alright..." Mike said to himself. "I've fought in this map a hundred times. If my memory doesn't fail me the protoss expeditionary fleet composed of only a Nexus and 6 probes should be... There." He pointed at the other side of the field. Absolutely nothing was there. "Though normally to see it I have to scout it first and lift the fog of war. Only the dead can know peace from this lack of sensors."
A few minutes later...
"Wait, what was I supposed to do again..." Mike thought to himself, until he looked over to the marines and saw them sporting what would appear to be WW1 rifles. He slapped his forehead upon receiving the realization rather brutally. "Get five engineering bays up and running ASAP!!" He yelled to just a single SCV.
"Five?! We ain't needin' dat many to upgrade weapons and armor!" A marauder with his characteristic 'Ghetto brudda' voice said.
"Hmmm..." Mike thought as he scratched his neckbeard with his hand, being careful of not ripping his own throat by accident with his power armor. "Touche... Make it four engineering bays!"
"Uhhh sir..." A marine next to a sensor tower near a cliff worringly said. "Are those red circles with exclamation marks in them friendlies?" Hell knows how Mike managed to get a sensor tower without an engineering bay to begin with.
"Depends, are they red?"
"Yeah."
"Then they're friendli--"
"A blue zealot popped out of the fog of war, sir."
"SHOOT IT!"
"Can't."
"WHY?!"
"Out of range."
"IT'S LITERALLY 50 METRES IN FRONT OF YOU!!"
"Still, out of range."
"God f... Flaming attack!"
"Son we ain't got no Hellions." A marauder stated.
"On the contrary," Another marine interrupted, "The commander wants us to remind our enemy that he's a gaywad and a dickwee casual." As he said this, another person near the Command Center was already sending the message through a computer.
"Well... What does that do?" The marauder asked.
"It just pisses them off. Visual intimidation!" Mike ordered.
The entire force of marines and marauders supported by medivacs, nicknamed 'Bioball', began arranging themselves to form an odd shape when looked from above. A certain phallic member.
"Why are we doing this again?" A marine asked. Mike only shrugged.
"Protoss forces advancing on our position!" A medivac yelled through the radio. Out of the fog of war a great number of zealots, archons and stalkers popped out, later followed by the mighty Mothership.
"Mothership!!" Mike screamed. "Stimpacks! Spread out! Focus fi--" Before he could even complete his orders the Mothership casted a Vortex spell on the force of marines and marauders, clustered together. Every single one of them was sucked in, with Mike desperately clinging to the floor but being sucked in despite his efforts. Not a second later, the entire protoss force hurled themselves into the vortex too. Only the mothership remained outside.
"...Well this sucks." Mike ranted, stuck inside the Vortex with his and his opponent's forces. No fighting occurred. "Okay, a few more seconds and we Leeroy everything..." He meditated as he looked at his visor's clock. "Aaaany... Second now..."
The rift began stuttering, as if it froze in place and moved again, until it froze completely and stopped moving.
"...Oh come on!! Is that Protoss gonna drop now?!"
Three hours later...
A marine, a marauder, a stalker, a zealot, an archon and Mike sat next to a giant round table that appeared out of nowhere playing poker.
"Boom!" Mike exclaimed as he placed four aces on the table, the winning hand. The marauder and the marine slapped their foreheads in annoyance. The zealot threw his cards away. The stalker blinked out of existence. The archon, furious, grabbed the table and flipped it towards Mike, though it harmlesly bounced off him without making him even flinch, then off the marine, then off the marauder, and so on due to being immune to damage, physics, laws of thermodynamics, lawyers and 'balancing' patches in the vortex. Then, on a board where Mike's and his opponent's names were written, a 'Drop' button appeared all of a sudden.
"Finally..." Mike sighed in relief. He punched the 'Drop' button thinking it'd make his opponent disconnect and grant him a quick victory, though he was surprised to say the least once he saw everything stuttering like a TV signal in the 80's. Then, it all turned white, blinding him, and sending him somewhere... Stranger.
"Once upon a time..."
"CUT TO THE POINT!" Mike yelled at the female narrator.
He appeared in an overly colourful, bright and lively night, though he couldn't see where due to the tiny detail that the upper half of his body was literally buried into the ground, while his legs remained above-ground. Something, however, suddenly touched one of his power armor's legs.
"...What's this thing?" Twilight Sparkle questioned in utter dumbfoundness as she examined the strange two-legged inversed 'plant'.
"Hmph hph mhp, hpmh hhmhmph hphm." Mike actually tried saying 'Don't touch me, you filthy casual.', though being half underground certainly limited his speech.
"It talks?!"
"Hmph phm hmpp phm?! (Who you calling 'It'?!)"
"It talks, so..." She couldn't understand one word of what he was saying. "Are you stuck?"
"Hmph. (I'd appreciate if you could somehow get me out of here, I am not in the most comfortable of positions and I'd most likely die of asphyxiation should my oxygen levels drop enough. Naturally, I cannot get out of here by myself seeing as my arms are immobile.)"
By sheer coincidence, Twilight had the idea of using her levitation magic to try and get the poor soul out of the ground. With great effort she managed to slowly but steadily undig him, levitating him until he was out of the ground upside down with pieces of dirt falling off his suit, giving a thumbs up. She was petrified to say the least.
"Appreciated." Mike said.
Twilight's jaw was as open as it could get, speechless.
"Well hello hello." Mike tried striking up a conversation with the statue-like pony. Considering he saw many weird, strange, mind crushing things like the fabric of time being twisted, vortexes opened at will, and entire strategies being changed by a voice in the sky saying "Thou shalt not do X thing by our commandment.", and by commandment actually meaning patch that Protoss, Zerg and Terrans alike followed to the end of their lives, even if it meant their destruction one way or the other, he wasn't surprised to see a talking coloured pony with a horn on its forehead capable of using magic.
Twilight, seeing as the strange creature acted as if everything was alright, thought that maybe she just didn't know of its existence beforehand. Manticores, cockatrices, hydras, windigos, anyone who saw them for the first time would question everything. "...Uh huh... What are you?" She asked, skeptical.
"Mike, a Terran. You?"
"...Twilight Sparkle. A... Unicorn."
"Twilight!!" Spike yelled in the distance. "Hurry up!!"
"Alright listen, I don't have much time." Twilight explained to Mike. "Can you just follow me so I ask a few questions later? I don't think I'll be able to find you again if you wander off..."
Mike shrugged in approval, to which Twilight stopped levitating him, making him fall to the same hole he arrived in. She apologized and lifted him again, placing him on firm ground. Now, both him and her rushed to the Town Hall, with Mike clumsily running with the clank of his armor echoing in the night as he tried to dust off the dirt.
Once arriving, everyone stared at them only for a few seconds before shrugging it off. Twilight was the one who made a dragon grow the size of a castle in a split second and revert it, so anything that was related to her was not that surprising even if it meant something that nobody would even manage to understand at all.
"Twilight, who's your new friend?" Spike asked.
"Well--"
"Fillies and gentlecolts, as mayor of Ponyville it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning--"
"Get to the point already!!" Mike yelled. Though he was utterly ignored for some strange reason.
"--Of the summer sun celebration!!"
Everyone in the room began cheering.
"In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise--"
"I've seen suns going supernova and y'all get hyped up for a sunrise?!"
"--And celebrate this, the longest day of the year! And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land--"
"Arcturus Mengsk or nothing!!"
"--The very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day--"
"Boo!"
"--The good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria--"
"The casual!!"
"--Princess Celestia!!"
Rarity raised the curtains that would reveal the Princess behind them, though everyone was surprised that noone was behind them.
"...This... Can't be good..." Twilight said to herself.
Out of the place where Princess Celestia would have been, a dark blue fog made its entrace. "Oh no..." Twilight whispered. The fog dissipated, revealing a black pony with dark blue armor pieces on equipped. "Nightmare Moon...!"
"Shit just got real... I think." Mike spoke, judging by the reactions of everyone around.
"Oh, my beloved subjects." Nightmare Moon spoke. "It's been so long since since I've seen your precious, little, sun-loving faces."
"Yo, what's going on?" Mike asked Twilight, though his question was ignored.
"What did you do with our Princess?!" Rainbow Dash violently asked.
"Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am?" Nightmare Moon retorted. "Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?"
"I did. And I know who you are. You're the Mare in the Moon – Nightmare Moon!" Twilight spoke.
"Well well well, somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here."
"You're here to... to..."
Nightmare Moon chuckled a bit before speaking. "Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night will last forever!" As she finished, furious thunderstorms covered the skies, almost sending a pony into an epileptic fit.
"Meh, I've seen better from a Protoss High Templar." Mike gave his opinion with his arms crossed.