What We D.I.D.

by Elusive Phoenix


Chapter 1

1:


Discord sat in the darkness of night, watching the multicolored creatures cuddled up in their warm beds. He found them irresistibly cute…

And that’s why he hated it. He couldn’t cause chaos, and few moments of chaos ever happen. He may be physically stuck in stone, but his mind can roam free around the dark blue light of the moon, or the brightness of day.

But even if his mind can roam, his powers cannot. He can only sit and wait for something massive and chaotic to appear for him to witness, as his bonds to his prison had been strenghthened. He floated away from the windows of the ponies, and went instead towards a large tree, known as the ‘library’, a place where knowledge of the past is kept.

Discord chuckled audibly, but only to himself, for the ponies around him could not see or hear or even feel him. He peeked through a second story window, and stared at the lump in the bed covers belonging to one “Twilight Sparkle”. He growled in anger. Twilight had been the one to defeat him. She had gathered her friends together and defeated him. They had failed at first, yes, but she found a way.

He sighed. But he was beaten, fair and square. She had won.

He slowly lowered himself to the ground outside the tree house, and walked down the streets of ponyville, his eagle claw gripping his lion paw behind his back, and his head hanging in thought. What has he done? He’s never physically harmed anypony! He just wants to have fun! Then why do the ponies of Equestria have such a problem with him? He frowned. He just didn’t understand.

He looked up from the dirt of the road, and realized he had crossed town already. He was on the very edge, near the river. He walked over to it, and looked down. He had been hoping to see his reflection, but instead found solid blue water, barely moved by the small wind. He frowned deeper. He looked back up to look at Canterlot Mountain. It was beautiful in its own unique way, but, to him, not the way that everypony else sees it.

He shook his head, dispelling the thoughts of Canterlot. He didn't want to think about things like that right now.

He walked slowly toward the house closest to him. A one story house, only large enough for a living room. He peered through the window. Inside was a couch directly next to the window, along with a large potted plant. On the other side of the room lay a bookcase with a few writing utensils on top. The rest of the room was fairly dull. A few pictures lined the corners, a few with a grey Pegasus with a yellow mane and a light purple unicorn filly.

Discord looked back to the couch, and noticed the head of a grey pony with a yellow, sort of golden, mane under a blanket. She rolled over slightly, showing lumps in the blanket. A Pegasus. Probably the one from the pictures. Her coat and mane seemed to change color slightly when she rolled back to her previous position. Discord figured it was just the light of the moon shifting her colors. He stared once more down the road through Ponyville. Nightmare Moon must be proud. It was fairly dark tonight. But the moon still gave off light, just like she liked.

He and Nightmare had been… good acquaintances. Not exactly friends, but they knew each other, and spoke at some times.

Discord regretted leaving Ponyville every time he did. Because every time he did, something epic and chaotic happened. Like Nightmare Moon.

Or the changeling invasion.

Or the crystal empire-

Wait… nevermind, it would be better to follow the Elements of Harmony! They are always involved with chaos!

Discord smiled. He may have a chance to regain a physical body once more…

________________________________________________________________________________


Maybe you should let me handle this.

I’ve got this, just let me try.

Fine.

Ditzy swallowed hard, reluctant to continue.

Do it! It’s not that hard!

Ditzy slowly raised her hoof, and knocked lightly on the door, then lowered her hoof. And waited. She stood, waiting for it to happen. For the door to open…

She was shaking slightly, and sweat lightly rained down her forehead.

Why didn't we just give it to the lady at the desk?

You said you’d do it someday! Why not make it today?

Ditzy swallowed. She already knew why. But she didn't know why she did it.

Do it again! Maybe she didn't hear you!

Is that really a bad thing?

If I could physically show a completely serious face right now, I would.

Ditzy shifted the mailbag slung on her shoulder.

The things we do to get paid…

She raised her hoof once again to knock. She slowly inched it toward the wooden surface.

She barely touched it before it swung open faster than lightning, and a Pink swirl enveloped her. She was quickly pinned to a wall, and her mailbag was dropped to the floor. Her ears were ringing from the impact. She could hear muffled words slowly fading in.

“…I aerpy- od it ina? Or is it Ditzy? Who is it? Wait! Rina would have already yelled at me! And Derpy would have been crying or laughing! Oh, oh! Are you Ditzy? Did I guess right?”

Ditzy wanted to throw up. She wished she had just let Rina do this.

Haha! No way! This is way more entertaining than being you!

“Huh? Huh? Did I guess right?” Pinkie’s face was pressed up against Ditzy’s, noses touching. Pinkie bounced excitedly.

“Yes… Pinkie…” Ditzy tried replying, “it’s Ditzy…” the weight left her as Pinkie bounded off her cheering in victory. Ditzy realized she had been holding her breath, and took the chance to breath.

Pinkie stopped bouncing and glanced at the gasping Pegasus standing outside her bedroom door.

Ditzy pulled her bag back onto her shoulder, and pulled out the letter.

“Ooh! Is that for me?” Pinkie asked, not bothering to care about the pain Ditzy had from being launched into a wall.

Ditzy stepped in the door, and held her hoof out, letter resting on it, “Yes-” Pinkie sped toward her, and the letter seemed to disappear into oblivion.

“Thanks!” Pinkie yelled as she shoved Ditzy, who slid from the force, out of the room, and into the hallway.

“Wha-” was all Ditzy could muster before the door slammed shut, hitting her in the face, and causing her to tumble backwards. She tumbled down the stairs that lead to Pinkie’s room, and hit the bottom floor with a thump, her head resting on the first step, belly up.

All Ditzy could hear was Rina’s laughing.

Hahahaha! That was the best mail delivery ever!

“Shut up…” Ditzy whispered audibly.

“Excuse me?” a high voice asked.

Ditzy looked down (to her), and saw Mrs. Cake standing a couple meters away.

“Nothing, Mrs. C. Talking to myself.” Ditzy smiled shyly, “Bad habit.”

Mrs. Cake smiled back, and spoke kindly, “Oh. So was she any trouble?”

Ditzy groaned, and chuckled lightly, “Not at all, Mrs. C.” she replied, smiling. Rina's laughing was infectious.

Mrs. Cake knew that a pony groaning after an encounter with Pinkie Pie meant that Pinkie had, once again, hugged them once too hard. “Well, if you’re up to it, would you mind… standing up? The customers are getting… curious.”

Ditzy rolled onto her stomach, and stood up, “Sorry.”

“Not a problem, dearie!” Mrs. Cake replied.

_____________________________________________________________________


Ditzy trotted out of Sugarcube Corner, in one hoof she held a vanilla cupcake with pink frosting.

Oh, this is delicious! She thought as she took a bite.

I know right! I still don’t know how they make this stuff-

I taste cupcakes!

Frack…

Indeed you do, Derpy! Where were you, anyway? I was wondering what happened to you!

I wasn’t.

I was thinking.

About what?

It’s a secret!

Secrets are bad, Derpy.

Then why don't a lot of ponies know we have D.I.D.?



Burned, girl, burned!

…shut up…

_______________________________________________________________________


Alright, Derpy, your turn.

Yay!

Ditzy stood outside Sweet Apple Acres, staring at the fields.

She closed her eyes and relaxed. Her coat suddenly seemed to reflect more light, as well as get brighter itself. Her mane seemed to turn a little grayish, but still contained a golden hue. She spread out her wings and opened her eyes.

But her eyes had changed from straight forward to facing opposite directions.

Man, I still get a headache whenever I see out her eyes!

How do you get a headache?

Disoriented.

That makes more sense.

“Derpy: Cardcaptor to the rescue!”

Oh, Celestia, please don’t let her play the-

->Oh, she is!<-

Ugh, why? The only ones out of any of those ponies that we're even friends with are Dinky and Raindrops!

Trust me, I hate it as much as you do.

“Onward to victory! Prince Whooves is expecting us!” Derpy yelled.

First of all, he doesn’t even live here. Second, he will never, ever, ever date you, ever. Not when we’re around.

Derpy’s voice turned to a low growl, as if to be dramatic, “Resistance… is futile…”

Crap, now she’s quoting my books…

Derpy trotted happily down the road to the Apple’s house, folding her wings back to her side. She glanced around at the apple trees, as they were lined with green and red apples.

I still want to know how they harvest all this…and in such a short amount of time!

Derpy reached the door, and lifted a hoof.

Derpy, don’t do it! Knock!

Derpy pushed the door open, and poked her head inside.

No-no-no-!

“MAIL’S HERE!” Derpy yelled into the house, causing some household appliances to shake.

Applejack walked into the foyer of the house, her hair hanging down, left untied by bands. Instead of her signature Stetson, she wore some pink earmuffs. She looked at the door, and saw Derpy standing there, smiling awkwardly. Applejack smiled back and removed her headphones, “Hey, Derpy! How’s it hangin’?”

Derpy put out a hoof with a few envelopes in it, “Mail!”

“Ah, right!” Applejack trotted over and removed the day’s mail from Derpy’s hooves, “Ah’m glad ah got these earmuffs,” she motioned to the pink overhead, “You should try knocking sometime, so you don’t, you know, blow up everypony’s eardrums.”

Derpy saluted, “Aye aye, cap’n!”

“Good! Now why don’t yall go finish you’re route. I’m gonna be busy today, and I’ve got no time to waste!”

“Yes, sir!” Derpy trotted out the door, hearing Applejack close the door behind her. Derpy extended her wings while walking, and slowly took off to their next destination.

The library.

___________________________________________________________


“Okay, Rina! You can take Eleanor now!” Derpy said audibly.

It was so sudden, Rina had little to no time to comprehend it, and when Derpy switched the body over, she tripped and fell face first into the ground.

Her coat darkened greatly, almost an elephant grey. Her mane turned to a dandelion color.

She removed her face from the dirt, and spit some out, “Derpy…” she growled.

Woopsie!

Rina only growled more. She took a step, and a small pain shot up her leg.

Gah! She hit you hard!

Welcome to my world!

She trotted up to the tree/house/library and knocked on the door with a normal amount of force, unlike her two “companions”.

She waited patiently. Eventually, the bottom half of the door opened, and revealed Spike, the libararian’s assistant: a dragon. But, being a baby, he was smaller than half the door.

“Oh, hi, Rina! Mail?” He asked. She pulled it out and hoofed it to him gently, “Thanks!” he closed the door and left Rina there.

That is how you deliver a letter. Quickly and quietly.

Pfft. Your way is boring. Ours at least came with hugs or smiles!

And I like it that way!

Rina walked away from the Library, and took off toward the post office.

__________________________________________________________


Rina landed on the front porch of her house near the edge of Ponyville. She had returned the mailbag to the post office, and was looking forward to resting and reading a book. Ditzy and Derpy both agreed. They needed a rest from the events of the day.

She opened the door to her house, and found a unicorn filly on the floor with a coloring book and crayons.

“Well, well, you’re here early.” Rina stated.

“Am I here early? Or are you late?” the filly replied, still staring at the book, deciding what colors to use next.

Rina looked at a clock mounted on the wall next to her. Two o’ clock.

“Nope, you’re early!” she smiled.

The filly replied, “Ooh, you found my secret!” she said jokingly, “Miss Cheerilee hurt herself, so they sent everypony home early.”

“Why come here, Dinky?” Rina trotted to the couch near the window, and sat down, “Why not your place?”

“Mom and Dad are both on business trips. They told me to stay at one of my friends houses or something.”

Dinky’s parents were the kind who cared little for her as a daughter, but more as a pony who simply lived with them.

“Well, Dinky, you can stay here any time you like! Mind handing me a book?” Rina had already laid down, and didn’t want to stand up to retrieve a book from across the room, on its bookshelf.

“Which one?” she asked without looking away from the book. She picked up a crayon and used her mouth to color.

“Blue Seas.”

“One or two?” Dinky mumbled between the crayon.

“Um… two.”

A magical aura enveloped one of the many books on the shelf, and levitated to Rina, who lay on her back. She grabbed it out of the air, opening it to the beginning, “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Dinky had grown extremely strong in the usage of magic, despite being the younger of her classmates.

Rina felt good to finally be able to sit and read, with nothing to worry about for a few hours.

Life was good. Same routine every day, new versions of the same routine every day.

Nothing could ever change that…