-- It has been said that even the greatest Equestrian scholars with the highest magics available to them can’t peer into the past or future. Even when discussion is brought up with the Royal Sisters, the topic never reveals much about a time before ponies. Celestia has been on record as saying that one day she just was, and that she was not alone. Many modern scholars were especially confused by this, until the day Luna returned, bringing truth to an old mare’s tale. But even after that point, Celestia mentioned that she and her sister were not alone.
There was more to the beginning than anypony thought, and even then they couldn’t be certain that before the Princesses walked upon Equestria, there was nothing. Many philosophers matched wits until they came up with their best answers, but they were shaky at best. Many held quarreling beliefs, each believing their theories best represented the past of Equestria, although no idea held much water.
Despite the wish to know the beginning, had they known the world they inhabited was of a shared psyche, drawn from places and worlds before and beside, perhaps they would find peace. Perhaps, they would find war. Perhaps they would look outward, into the stars, or inward, into their souls. Perhaps they would assign the idea of a new Creator to their world, or forever lose trust in their reigning monarchs.
However, such truths would always elude them. They would never know of the events of their universe, the sacrifices made and the shared efforts of the realities around them that gave them the world they knew now. It was a place unlike any other. A reality that could make equal parts sense and utmost chaos on any given day, but it echoed a consciousness that set it on its path, and would forever be remembered by the very earth a pony would trod.
Despite this, many ponies have tried to come up with their own story for how all of it came to be. Many fables included the very Princesses that ruled them, while others created the idea of a ‘King and Queen’ pony that sired the Royal Sisters. It was in the early days that ponies would pick up a quill and ink and tell extravagant tales which formed Equestria’s founding literature, each vying to explain phenomena around their borders. However, this soon grew into stories that taught lessons to foal and stallion alike, teachings of morality, dashes of adventure, drummings of the heart. What started as a way to tell of the story of what was became the ability of writing a story that could be.
And that’s where we come in.
-----
A certain purple unicorn trotted down a long, open hallway amongst a sea of any kind of pony she could dream up. Some of the ponies even wore clothing that hid their most important aspects- cutie marks, horns, and wings. Twilight Sparkle watched in wonderment as she passed each new costume, some from awe, some in silent ridicule. Starswirl would never wear a blue-green hat. Flanking the unicorn on either side were two other mares, one a timid yellow pegasus and the other a boisterous pink Earth pony. As the three girls found their way to the other end of the hall, they passed by two rather large, imposing guards that caused the pegasus to squeak as she squeezed by.
Pinkie Pie laughed softly as not to offend Fluttershy, and threw a hoof on her friend’s shoulder for support. “It’s okay, Fluttershy! Those big ol’ stoney-faces are here to keep us safe!”
The shy pegasus felt mixed emotions from being comforted by Pinkie Pie. On one hoof she was irritated that the younger pony saw fit to patronize her, but it melted away in moments as she smiled at her friend. Pinkie Pie only wanted to make her feel better after all. “Oh, um... yes, I know. Thank you.” The lavender pony ahead of them turned back and smiled at the two. Locking eyes with the unicorn for a moment, Fluttershy peered about as they had entered an empty room devoid of the sea of ponies just outside. “Twilight... um, what’s this room for?”
Twilight Sparkle smiled. Showcasing the room for her friends, Twilight’s hoof swung in a crescent arc about her. Along the off-white walls were towering windows, tinted mosaics casting picturesque patterns against the floor. The floor was mostly carpeted red, with little signs of wear and tear as it gave way to checkerboard tiling near the edges of the room. Along one wall a large bar protruded out, its chestnut finish giving off a slight chemical smell. The only other pony in the entire room washed out a dirty glass with a silken rag suspended in the air, covered in magical aura. “Girls...” Twilight mused, looking over the space, “this is where the afterparty is.” Approaching the bar, Twilight tapped the counter deftly.
“Pony Joe!” Pinkie exclaimed as the barkeep swept around. The large stallion finally took notice of the trio of mares and offered a large smile.
“Ah, Twilight Sparkle and her friends. I knew you’d be coming ‘round this evening,” the giant pony breathed, his gravelly voice filled with the friendliness of a grandfather. Fluttershy smiled warmly at the familiar face while surveying the colorful array of glass bottles behind him.
Twilight giggled as she turned to Pinkie Pie. “Pony Joe used to be a barkeep in his younger days, before he opened the donut shop in Canterlot.” Pinkie nodded in understanding, lowly cooing over the massive selection of alcohol behind Twilight. Spinning on her hooves, Twilight waved toward her old friend. “I’m glad you were able to come out to this, I don’t know anypony who can mix a drink faster than you.”
Joe gave a chuckle, tapping the top of his horn with a hoof. “I’ve yet to meet a mare nor stallion that can either, but I can wait. Jus’ between you an’ me, girls, I’m hopin’ it’s a mare, if you catch my drift.” Twilight gave an appreciative giggle as Pinkie let loose a massive whoop of laughter unbefitting the joke, while Fluttershy slowly let a smile cross her features as she fluttered her wings behind her friends.
“So, um...” Fluttershy’s telltale shyness shining ever true, her voice died in her mouth. Blushing, the pegasus shook her wings from their base to the tip as she rid herself of her nerves. Clearing her throat, Fluttershy attempted her question a second time. “Um, sir, why do you own a donut shop if you’re so good at mixing drinks? Or, um, the other way around?”
The massive pony opened his mouth to respond, but a loud crash from outside the room interrupted their conversation. A rather disheveled gray unicorn had burst through the doors in a mangled heap, two guardsponies struggling to keep him back. “Twilight! Twilight Sparkle! Tell these brutes to get off me!” Aiming a well-placed buck, the dappled unicorn’s hoof struck air as he found himself airborne, caught in a sparkling violet barrier as he floated unthreateningly about the room. “Ah...?” Looking about, the raggedy pony sighed in relief. However, he was quickly beset upon by the excitable mare beside Twilight.
“It’s a pony ball!” Pinkie hopped forward, taking little care in the fact Twilight had lifted the intruder straight out of the fight, and instead pushed against his flank like a volleyball. In true Pinkie fashion, the unicorn soon found himself careening through the air, bouncing off the wall like a foal’s rubber ball.
“Pinkie!” Twilight shouted, involuntarily dropping the spell. Falling unceremoniously on top of the stallions, the male unicorn soon found himself between two very unwilling participants. In the mass of limbs, the poor pony found his face buried under the tail of one guard while his hindsection was precariously placed next to the other’s. Before anypony could react however, Twilight was upon them. “Dapples, I’m so sorry, are you all right?” she fussed, ignoring the placement of the pony’s face and flank.
Beet red and breathless, the gray unicorn quickly shot to his hooves before any stray bucks might find their way to his face. “Ah, yes! Quite so, really, no damage to report, right boys?” The nervous stallion turned toward the two guards who groaned as they started to come to. One of them looked downright confused, while the other was doing his best not to look murderous. Dapples mentally noted that he was currently rather fond of the bamboozled one more than his angered compatriot. “Of course you’re fine. Celestia’s best. You certainly had me contained! Good show and all that!” Shifting a smile towards Twilight, a look of fear was plastered all over his face as his eyes pleaded his case. Dapples, however, quickly mouthed out, “Please-don’t-let-them-kill-me!”
Clearing her throat, Twilight raised a hoof to the rising guards. “Ah, sirs, I’m sorry, this is another one of my friends from Ponyville. It’s alright for him to come through.”
There were an exchanging of looks, but the two guards ponies did as they were bade wordlessly. Dapples looked back as they went to leave, a look relief passing over him. Just as he tilted his head away from them, he could have swore he saw one of the guards mouth something toward him. Shooting his gaze back toward the pony, both stallions were walking in almost complete unison- although the one had a bit more wiggle to his step, causing Dapples to stare at his flank- whether it was in simple disbelief or something else couldn’t be properly gathered by anypony.
Oddly enough, it was Fluttershy who broke the presiding silence. “Um, Twilight? Who is your friend?” she asked, tilting her head slightly. Dapples didn’t exactly cut an imposing figure, and was, for all intents and purposes, completely nonthreatening.
Dapples looked towards Twilight’s friends, quickly deducing that the mare on her left was Pinkie Pie, Ponyville’s premier party pony, but the one on her left... a yellow pegasus with a voice as soft as silk had to be Fluttershy. “Ah, hello there. My name is Dapples. Doctor Dapples. Ph.D. in literature.”
“Or so he likes to believe,” Twilight teased, earning herself an indignant look from the gray unicorn. “Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, this is the pony that’s been chronicling the night we freed Princess Luna for me, and the signs of Nightmare Moon’s release beforehoof.” Ever since Nightmare Night some time ago, Twilight took great care in making sure everypony knew that Nightmare Moon was not at all connected to who Luna was now. Except, of course, in situations where ‘fun’ was to be had.
Pinkie gave Dapples a once over before nodding, “Yep, he’s from Ponyville alright! I threw him a party once!” The good doctor gave the pink mare a blank look. “We brought out the good stuff for that one. He even had a lampshade on his head!” Dapples wore a look of utter befuddlement as Pinkie launched into tales of his drunken endeavors.
Dapples face soon fell as, after an increasingly awkward segue involving a mare, a stallion, and a long watering hose, she continued to relate details of a night he had likely forgotten due to consumption. As Pinkie built the story up into a crescendo, the dappled unicorn raised a hoof in self defense. “If it pleases everypony, I’d rather not re-live my, um, daring deeds through word of mouth...”
“Oh! That’s right, the things this pony can do with his mouth-”
“Okay!” Twilight suddenly shouted, catching everypony off-guard with her outburst. Pony Joe even dropped his cup of coffee, granting a light curse to reverberate about the room. “Ahem, sorry, just... I think we’ve heard enough about that party, Pinkie. We’ll have one here soon, so let’s just make memories of that, okay?”
“Yes, please. Let’s just... forget all of that ever happened. Celestia knows I have,” Dapples countered, shaking his mane with his head low. His hair tousled about in front of his face, hiding it from the peering gazes of the other ponies. However, something itched at the back of his mane and he would be damned if he forgot to ask. “Oh, um, Twilight, I know you’ve been helping me with the book and all, but... well, I was surprised to see you here.”
Pinkie Pie put a hoof to her chin, tapping it in thought as Twilight responded. “Well, I’ve been compiling my letters to Celestia for a time and putting them into a book for ponies to read regarding the magic of friendship. So... that makes me a bit of an author myself!” As Twilight prided herself on her endeavors, the mare puffed out her chest and threw on a confident smirk. It soon melted away as she considered her friend’s question, leading her to a new idea. “Say, Fluttershy, Pinkie... why did you come with me?”
Dapples nearly dropped to the floor in surprise. Dumbfounded, the unicorn shook his head at the idea that Twilight hadn’t even considered to ask her friends why they had accompanied her. Pinkie, who had thus far been in a state of deep thought, solemnly nodded her head. “Where there are parties, there is Pinkie! And a convention has a lot of ponies, so that’s a huge party in the making!”
Fluttershy was not as forthcoming. “I, um, I just... like some of the authors who might be here. I... want to meet them,” she squeaked, a trait Dapples was finding more endearing than annoying. Looking between the ponies, the pegasus quickly hid behind her mane.
“Well, I guess it makes sense for fans to come as well,” Twilight mused, gesturing a hoof toward Dapples. The gray unicorn seemed to accept this excuse for the girls, casting a fleeting glance toward the door. It took Twilight a moment, but she soon caught the apprehensive pitapat of the stallion’s hooves as his face slowly degenerated into one of near agony for the step he’d have to make next. “You’re afraid to face the guards again, aren’t you?”
Met with a painful smile, the studious mare could only groan as Dapples sheepishly nodded his head. Pointing his horn toward the door, the dappled pony let loose a weak, “Ladies first...!”
The girls plus one soon headed out the door, revisiting the prior halls filled with ponies of every make and mold. To Twilight’s bookish glee, some ponies were in costume as some of the more legendary works, such as fantasy hero Maragorn, and she saw a number of ponies dressed as Sherfetlock Holmes. A stallion dressed as Sir Prancealot seemed to attract a lot of attention from the mares- Twilight had to keep Fluttershy in step behind her on two occasions to keep the pegasus from staring too long.
In fact, she seemed to have the same difficulty with Dapples as well, but there were some attractive mares behind the cosplayer, so Twilight didn’t question the stallion’s reluctance to pry himself from the image. However, a sight nopony wanted to get too near to was one of Hannibal Locoed. Except, of course, Pinkie Pie, who went up to the pony and immediately asked the colt about everything he knew about parties. Apparently, he had nothing new to relate to Pinkie, as she soon grew bored with the character, citing him to be an ‘amateur’.
As the group of ponies made it into another one of the side rooms, Twilight paused the party by rounding on them and shaking her head. The space itself was filled with chairs and benches, all facing a moderately sized stage made up of several raised platforms. The stage was adorned with a simple table, a blue cloth draped along the front to hide the hooves of any would-be presenters. However, the room was mostly empty except for an odd number of ponies, most of them taking advantage of the quiet by taking a nap.
“I can’t believe the number of ponies who came out to the convention! I think I saw a pony dressed up as an old sea captain, and I couldn’t tell if that was a costume or not...” Twilight breathed, the other ponies nodding slowly. As they recuperated from the sheer amount of new experiences just a short walk had given them, a beige stallion saw fit to approach the group.
“It was a cosplay of Captain Hay-ab. A more forceful pun if there ever was one,” he concluded, drawing the attention of the group of ponies. There was a palpable pause following, where the collected stares of four pairs of eyes soon prompted the raven-haired pony to follow up his earlier comment. “From... Moby Dick. It’s a whaling novel.”
Twilight blinked slowly, nodding her head. “Ah, yes, I’ve... read that one, actually,” she coughed, covering her muzzle with a hoof as Pinkie unleashed a low ‘ooo’.
The beige stallion gave the pink pony a parsing gaze, only for the mare to quickly point at the cutie mark adorned on his flank. “Look! His butt is giving me the same look as his face!”
That pretty much did it for assembled ponies. A cutie mark unlike anything Twilight had seen before adorned the beige and black pony’s flank. It was not only a face, but a very basic expression of one, to boot. It was simply...
ಠ_ಠ
It would have been fairly disconcerting, had anypony drawn attention to the mark in any other way. However, even the unknown pony cracked a smile, casting a amused smile over his mark, trailing back toward the pink mare. “Bravo, pinky.”
Pinkie Pie’s raucous laughter cut quickly as her eyes trained hard on the Earth pony. Leaning uncomfortably close, the two ponies locked eyes as a pink hoof slowly raised up, placing itself on the stallion’s chest. The rest of the assembled ponies quickly exchanged glances, trying to fathom the sudden change of pace their encounter had taken. Eyes barely peeled open, Pinkie’s mouth moved slowly and deliberately, “How do you know my name, buster?”
The deadpan pony raised an eyebrow, not even close to flinching as the mare leaned ever closer into his personal space. “Beg pardon?”
Twilight stepped forward, her head tilted as she attempted to keep the peace. “Ahm... Pinkie, I think he was referring to your coat and mane.”
A structured silence followed, the beige pony calmly moving his head slowly from one pony to another. “Are you serious? Her name is Pinky?” Further thoughts were cut as the pony slammed her forehead against his own, doing away with what little space he had left. Only now did the black-maned pony begin to show cracks in his otherwise reserved demeanor. “Shouldn’t you buy me dinner, first? Get to know each other?” he choked out, a hesitant smile on his lips.
“Oh, I hear it now! He said Pinkie with a ‘y’!” All at once the suspicious mare dislodged herself from the stallion’s forehead. Shooting him a smile, Pinkie closed her eyes as she addressed everypony. “It’s hard to tell sometimes. How silly of me! I’m sorry Snarkle!”
Fluttershy’s ear twitched in confusion, her pink mane sweeping side to side as she tried to make sense of her friend, but to no avail. “Um, Pinkie, there is no difference-” Fluttershy’s mouth, however, was inexplicably filled with purple hoof as Twilight cast a sideways glance. It was Pinkie Pie.
“Oh Fluttershy, if you’re as pink as I am, you gotta know the difference!” she claimed. Returning her gaze to Snarkle, she gave him a broad smile. “Sorry again, mister!” Pinkie seemed to be in good spirits, much to the relief of the others, and the beige pony soon softened his expression toward them.
“It’s no problem, ehm, Pinkie,” the stallion began, Pinkie giving him an accepting wink. “I’m known as Snarkle to my colleagues.” Twilight seemed pleased with the response, taking it in stride that the pony’s name seemed completely justified with his personality.
“Oh, well, I’ll be the first to say hello Snarkle!” Dapples piped up, not taking delight in having been silent for as long as he had. “I’m-”
“Dapples Toity, the younger brother of fashion sensation Hoity.” There was an audible reaction from Fluttershy, who quickly resumed her hidden-behind-the-mane demeanor. Dapples was about to open his mouth when Snarkle cut him off. “Yes, I know all about you- I’ve seen enough articles about you and your brother pass by my desk.” Dapples’ face contorted as Snarkle continued, “As an editor I’ve also seen some of your more... ‘quotable quotes’, we’ll call them, toward the media.”
“O-oh,” Dapples stammered, the stallion shrinking under the contemptuous gaze of Snarkle. The gray unicorn was used to all eyes on him, but right now he would have done anything not to be in front of the people he knew and respected. “Well, ah... um.”
“And your mastery over the Equestrian language continues to leave me breathless,” Snarkle chided, sarcasm dripping as he brought his attention back to the mares. Dapples seemed to disappear from Snarkle’s encompassing view as he looked them over. “And here we have Celestia’s star student, Twilight Sparkle. They say your special talent is magic, which unlocked the Element of Harmony that resonated with that fact. Impressive.” Twilight smirked, her eyebrows furrowed, mildly impressed at the breadth of Snarkle’s knowledge as he moved along the line.
Happening upon the pegasus who had been obscured by Twilight’s tail, Snarkle breathed in deeply as he gave her a once over. “Fluttershy, previous resident of Cloudsdale. Moved to Ponyville after her talent was discovered to be aligned with the animals on the ground- in fact, I believe you penned a study that was published in the Hoofington Post about the proper care of animals without changing instinct or disrupting the food chain.” Twilight cast a legitimately impressed gaze toward her friend, prompting the pegasus to redden her cheeks in humble embarrassment. “Very informative, although it couldn’t hurt to take classes involving repeated word use and proper grammar.” At this, the assembled mares shot glances of varying intensity toward the critical pony, who gracefully ignored Twilight’s glare and Fluttershy’s hurt look. Pinkie Pie’s strong stare caused the Earth pony to hesitate as he glanced down at the pink mare.
“Ahem. Pinkamina Diane Pie. ‘Ponyville’s Party Pony, Pinkie Pie’, as your monthly column in the Ponyville Quarterly so excitedly exclaims... that’s about it for you. Most recent trends of parties and the newest ‘jams’,” Snarkle grew bored of the explanations, a self-serving smile crawling across his face as he believed his knowledge of the group to have thoroughly and impressively displayed.
“Well, look at the smart smartypants on him!” The icy edge on the voice caused Snarkle to doubletake back on the pink Earth pony. “But you got us all put into small little cupcakes if you think that’s all we are. We’re more like cakes, or parfaits! Twilight isn’t just Celestia’s student; she’s a friend to both the Princesses! And she can do more than magic- she can organize city-wide events like Winter Wrap Up! And she’s the smartest pony around! She even researches Friendship, the strongest magic of all!”
“Er, friendship?” Snarkle started, but a hoofstomp on the ground quieted the pony as Pinkie took another large step forward.
“And I do more than party! I make ponies laugh! I bake delicious treats daily for all of Ponyville, too. My column is for all ponies to read, and it’s not just Ponyville- I freelance to Manehatten and Trottingham too! The recipes in them are all 100% Pinkie-primed to be the best they can be!”
Twilight gaped at the pink mass of hair as she imposingly went up to Snarkle, her size seemingly growing larger with every step as Snarkle started to slink back. “P-Pinkie?!”
“And you can not be mean to Fluttershy! She is the nicest, most kindest pony in Equestria! She takes time out of her busy day of caring for sick and injured animals and you wanna be a big dumb meanie-head?” Pinkie towered over the Earth pony now, strands of his raven black hair turning gray under the stress of Pinkie’s counterlogue. “If you want somepony to talk about everything they know, maybe I should go into the time when you made a bet with a hedgehog. How’d that taste, huh? Huh? HUH!?”
The color drained from his face, Snarkle could only gulp loudly, his voice robbed. Twilight approached the two slowly, Pinkie’s face a frozen mask of intimidation as Twilight raised a hoof out and prodded her friend’s shoulder lightly. “Pinkie?”
Instantaneously, Pinkie removed herself from the beige pony and smiled at Twilight, “Yeah huh?”
Twilight shook her head, trying to fathom the explosion she saw. Nearby, Snarkle recovered his voice, his face still pale and racked with a nervous twitch as he didn’t dare match gazes with Pinkie Pie again. “I’m sorry for intruding on your discussions, Twilight Sparkle,” he began slowly, throwing a cautious glance towards the hooves towards his verbal aggressor. ”You have an excellent selection of friends. Very loyal. It was, uhm, wrong of me to address them so harshly.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Twilight rebutted quickly. “Apologize to Dapples, too, and I’ll accept your apology.” Snarkle visibly winced in reaction to the mare’s order, sheepishly turning towards the dejected unicorn.
Pinkie smirked at Twilight’s demands, letting loose an awed, “Ooo.” Spinning on her hooves, Pinkie whispered toward Fluttershy, “She just laid down the law.” Fluttershy gave her a blank look, the irony of her statement completely lost on the party pony.
There was a moment of silence, with Dapples feeling like an epicenter of awkward after the storm of pink as the Earth pony turned toward him. With an annoyed bleat, the stallion stuck a hoof out toward the gray unicorn. “My apologies, Dapples. It would seem I was a bit harsh in greeting you, as well.” Dapples stared at the hoof a moment before sticking his own out, shaking it with a weak smile on his face.
“Water under the bridge. Not that I blame you for the, um, poor outlook on my previous endeavors,” he said, his gaze barely meeting that of the amber-eyed pony.
Fluttershy peeked out her mane, a soft smile on her face as she caught sight of the stallions cutie mark- it was so very unique she had to take some pleasure in just seeing it. “U-uhm, excuse me, um, Mr. Snarkle?”
Snarkle, on the other hoof, was glad for the reprieve from the very concept of Pinkie Pie and moved his attention to the land of sanity. “Ah, yes, Fluttershy, right?” What followed was a high pitched squeak which likely caused some dogs to whine in response. “I-I’m sorry? Could you repeat that?”
However, Twilight was there to translate. “What Fluttershy is trying to ask is why do you come off so strong? Surely not every situation needs such a... harsh outlook?” she said, checking with Fluttershy if she had been correct. The pegasus nodded bashfully.
Snarkle raised an eyebrow as he looked between the mares. “You got that out of... well, whatever noise that was?”
“Years of practice.”
Snarkle nodded. “Right. Friends and all that. Yes, well, in my line of work you meet many ponies, and many ponies is not something you want in my line of work. You can’t be a yes-mare or a doormat, so you have to be strict. Sometimes that comes off to some as a bit rough.” There was a very implied gesture towards the dappled unicorn among them. “But you do not gain access to my kind of job by being kind. You have to be critical. Harsh, as you say.”
Twilight sighed, not entirely mollified by the explanation. “Well, that’s really all well and good, Snarkle, and while I’m having an... interesting time talking to you, I have to go check on some of the preparations for some of the interviews. We’ve got a lot of special guests and I’d hate for any of them to be confused or unprepared, or even lost,” Twilight lied. She had little to do with the actual convention, but the less Snarkle knew the better. Regardless of which, Twilight was more intent to speak with Pinkie about her outburst, anyway.
“Lost? Somepony say somepony else is lost?” a voice cut in. Releasing a sigh, Twilight and the rest of her crew brought their collective attention toward the doorway. Peeking through the door to the vaguely empty panel room was another Earth pony, a bit darker of a beige than Snarkle, his mane a tarnished chocolate that supported a brown hat with a lone white tag sticking out from the band. Apparently, it was supposed to keep his messy hair in check, but his short yet wild mane failed to be completely contained underneath the adorning headgear, which stylistically matched his lightly frayed trenchcoat perfectly.
“Ah...” Twilight choked out, before shaking her head. “Nopony is lost, sir. Sorry.”
The pony sighed briefly, before pushing the door open the rest of the way and allowing himself into the panel room. “Ah, well, that’s all well and good then. My detective sense was tingling and I felt the need to come in here.”
“Detective sense?” Dapples echoed, confusion and intrigue filling his voice as he soon found himself quite close to the Earth pony. “Are you a real one or a dressed up one?” Horn glowing slightly, Dapples attempted to tip the stallion’s hat slightly to get a better look, but as it tilted, so did the pony’s head.
“H-eyHEYHEY!” A hoof stomped into the hat, keeping it from being trifled with as the brown pony jumped to the side. “Hooves off the merchandise! I-I mean-” In a flash the pony’s expression changed as he shot a hard-boiled look toward the unicorn. “You don’t know what kinda pony you’re messing with. Be glad I’m one of the good guys around here.”
“Good guys?” Fluttershy echoed, her nervousness piquing as she carefully eyed the lounging ponies in the room and quickly darted her gaze to the door. “You mean there are bad ponies here?” Dapples raised an eyebrow at the stranger, who was quickly becoming the center of attention, much to that pony’s increasing displeasure.
Twilight raised a hoof while shaking her head at the display before her, obviously none-too-pleased with the constant interruption. “Excuse me, but can I have your name before we talk any further? I’m Twilight Sparkle, and this is Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Dapples, and Snarkle- huh?” As she spoke, the unicorn noticed a very empty space to her right where the raven-haired stallion once stood. “Snarkle?” she echoed, but the black mane was nowhere in sight. “How-”
“Lost pony. I knew it!” the male Earth pony exclaimed, his eyes suddenly darting about, scanning every dark corner of the room. “I don’t have much time to explain, but my name is Squeak. I’m a detective from the Compound and-”
“Compound?” Dapples interrupted, “Like, a police compound, or a... what?”
Squeak gave the mares a once over before putting a hoof on Dapples’ shoulder. “I’d tell you all about it, but it’d blow your mind. I got stories, mate. Stories of ponies. Real stories from the streets.” At this point he had brought the other stallion in close, moving a hoof mere centimeters from his face. Dapples’ eyes ended up focusing on the end of the leg more than what Squeak had to say.
“But like I said, no time to explain. I have a case of missing pony.” In a quick, unexpected release, Squeak let go of Dapples who crumpled to the floor. The detective pony stepped close to the purple mare and looked her over. “Hm. Purple mane. Pink highlights. A very... unique cutie mark on your flank.” Shooting his gaze over to the others, Squeak smiled. “Pink, pink, pink, yellow. Explosive, reserved.” As he named off the colors, his hooves were flailing out at each indication of a pony’s physical traits. “Yes... Yes! As can be gathered using my innate detective senses, I’ve figured out who you all are.”
“Well, yeah, I just-” Twilight started, but a hoof quickly pointed at her, stopping only a hair’s length from her muzzle.
“Twilight Sparkle!” Another foreleg shot out toward the pink pony beside her. “Pinkie Pie!” Forelimbs outstretched, Squeak contorted his back hoof until it pointed straight towards the startled pegasus. “Fluttershy!” Wearing a confident grin, the pony made quite the sight.
“So you gonna point a hoof at me and say my name, or do you want me to save you the trouble and introduce myself?” Dapples muttered, unamused he could be so quickly forgotten. Dropping his limbs to the ground, Squeak strode past the stallion, muttering Dapples’ name in a loud whisper.
“Whoohoo! Oh detective man, you’re good!” Pinkie cheered, much to Twilight’s chagrin.
“Pinkie! He only knows our names because I already told him!” she rounded, slapping a hoof on her head.
Dapples let loose a weak chuckle, ignoring the detective as he walked beside Twilight, shaking his mane at the mare. “I don’t know anypony who hits themselves as much as you do.” The mare gave a weak smile, but both unicorns turned their attention back towards the newcomer.
“Right, details, really,” Squeak shrugged, dismissing the revelation. Looking about the ponies, he placed a his hoof on his hat, moving it only slightly on his head. “I’m in a middle of an investigation here. Can’t have anypony going OoC or open any plotholes...”
As the other ponies raised eyebrows or, in Pinkie’s case, nod completely in understanding of the phrase, it took Fluttershy to break the silence. At least, somewhat. “Um, I’m sorry, but, what do you mean by, ‘ook’ and opening holes?” she asked, determining that the pony, while slightly eccentric in his attempts to come off as a hard-boiled, Nightmare-may-care detective, was fairly harmless. He had, after all, identified himself as one of the ‘good-guys’.
Squeak looked surprised as Fluttershy addressed his terms, and issued a few empty blinks before responding, quickly adapting to a more suave detective personality. “Nothing to be worried about, ma’am. Not while I’m around anyway. Except for that missing pony. Snarkle was it?”
This time it was Dapples who stepped forward, a look of almost permanent confusion on his face. “I wouldn’t say missing... he probably just ducked out when you showed up.” Looking about, his gray mass of a mane drearily accompanied his expression. Squeak took note of this quickly and cleared his throat.
“Well, right then. If there is no issue here, I have a case to look into. Sayanora!” The pony quickly disappeared without another word, leaving the others to trade glances.
“Well that was kinda weird,” Twilight mused, shaking her head. It couldn’t be helped, some ponies were just strange like that.
Dapples coughed uneasily as he voiced his concern: “What is a sayanora?” Greeted with only a shrug from Fluttershy, they all had to admit that there was something seemed a bit off about the pony, like he wasn’t... in the right way.
Pinkie bounced toward the door, opening it a crack as she looked out at the sea of ponies, catching sight of the bouncing reporter’s cap on the stallion’s head. “Oh, I think he’s just adjusting. He’s usually a lot calmer and cleaner, and all that boring stuff. Being brought here can be really jarring for anypony.”
Dapples and Fluttershy nodded as if she made sense, but Twilight was quickly having enough of Pinkie’s hidden knowledge. “Wait, Pinkie... how did you know that? What did you mean, ‘brought here’? Did somepony force him to come out to the convention?” Pinkie popped her head back in, her face and cyan eyes becoming lost in the bouncing pink mane as she smiled... almost knowingly at the unicorn. “And... how did you know Snarkle’s name?”
That question had been eating away at her.
“Oh, silly filly, I know lots of ponies! Almost everypony there is!” Pinkie smiled, before striking a pose, sticking a hoof out as she closed her eyes. Sticking out her bottom lip, the pony quickly recited word-for-word an article relating to the most recent political elections in Hoofington. Adding a bit of a flourish and an unnecessary rolling of her R’s, the mare stopped her recital as she smiled at her friends. “I’m up to date in all the latest, and Snarky’s a famous editor and author in Hoofington.”
Fluttershy puffed her cheeks out a little as she considered her friend’s information, nodding slowly. “I don’t really pay attention to the editor’s name when I read magazines... and then, I only read them when I’m with Rarity.” Looking toward the door, Fluttershy pondered about how Snarkle had left without anypony noticing. “I guess I never really noticed we were talking to a really, really important pony.”
“To be fair, Fluttershy, you were a really famous pony too, once,” Dapples cut in, recalling his own fashion days with a sour taste in his mouth. “In fact, I bet Squeaky there had a famous history about him. Seemed a bit... I dunno, dramatic.”
“Well duh! He wrote all sorts of adventure stuff before he retired from writing fiction! Haven’t you read Traveler? It’s about a time traveling pony and his companion as they deal with dark stuff!” Twilight admitted to being clueless to the work, but was becoming more comfortable with Pinkie’s explanations as she continued. While there seemed to be no reason to be up to date with so many things, Pinkie always seemed ready with a party anywhere, so being familiar with local customs seemed like a legitimate claim.
The purple unicorn was drawn from her thoughts as the door opened again, this time a pair of mares walking through as they idly chatted away. There was a pregnant pause as the two caught sight of the group, prompting the cream one with natural green socks to address them. “Oh, we didn’t think anypony would be in here so soon for our panel.” As the girls plus Dapples’ looked at each other, the mare’s eyes locked on Twilight.
“Panel?” Fluttershy echoed, turning toward Twilight. The purple mare shrugged her shoulders at the question, but Pinkie Pie had the answer.
“You know, a panel! Like when somepony comes up and delivers a presentation about something!” Pinkie explained. “I’m excited to see the Pony Paradox panel myself! They have all sorts of funny cartoons! Although I don’t know if I’m sold on their new stuff with the ex-hedgehogs or something.”
“I-I know what a panel is...” Fluttershy mumbled. “I just wanted to know what panel...”
Twilight wisely decided to ignore Pinkie’s tangent, instead responding to the two mares who had walked in. “Sorry, we didn’t know anything was scheduled for this room. We just wanted a quiet place where we could hear ourselves think,” she apologized. The chocolate colored mare with a vivid hairstyle stuck her tongue out playfully, nodding as she understood. “So what panel are you running?”
“Oh!” Both unicorns exchanged glances, one with the utmost excitement while the other quickly attempted to hide her face from the others, mainly Twilight. “Well,” the pony with the butterscotch mane began, “we’re two authors of a very specific genre of literature.”
“And, well, we decided we’d do a panel together to avoid any potential conflicts,” the other mare mumbled under her breath. She was cream colored, and her mane was just as varied as her partners. It screamed of peanut butter and mint, swirled together in harmony as she gently parted a loose green strand from her face. Compared to her voluptuous partner, she had a bit of a bubble butt, but with visibly strong back legs that echoed an energetic pony behind the shy demeanor. “Because Butterscotch is a really big name-”
“Butterscotch Sundae!” Fluttershy nearly screamed- a scream which barely touched upon Pinkie’s normal speaking voice. The other ponies quickly looked over, the pegasus’ sudden interest in the authoress catching them off-guard. “Ohmygosh! This is so exciting, I’ve read so much of your work!”
The yellow socked pony smiled softly, holding out a hoof for the pink-maned pony to shake. “It’s so nice to meet a fan so willing to admit she reads my work,” she started. “Not everypony admits to reading erotic fiction!”
The following silence was so encompassing the rest of the ponies could hear a pin drop in Stalliongrad.