//------------------------------// // Madre de Dios... // Story: Derpy and I // by ICrackVideoGames //------------------------------// I sigh to myself as I step out of the classroom. I couldn't focus in class at all, what with a talking technicolor pony being inside my apartment right now; let alone a cross-eyed one. Oh God. I turn to the right before a voice catches my attention. "Yo, Eric!" a familiar voice calls. I turn to the source and see Mark running towards me. "Hey, what's up dude?" I say as he stops in front of me. "What happened last night dude?" He says. " I told you I'd call you, but you didn't answer." I recall the statement."Oh yeah. I kind of forgot about that." I say, rubbing the back of my neck. "Of course you did." He rolls his eyes. "But the strange thing is, someone else answered it." Immediately after he says this, I give him a puzzled "Huh?" "Yeah, dude. A GIRL answered it." a sweat bead trickles down my forehead. " Said she 'accidentally knocked you unconcious'. What was THAT about? Who was that, man?" "Uh..." " Are you hiding someone from me?" "Pfft. No." I put on my best lying face. " Ha hah hah. Why would I hide someone from you dude?" He squints his eyes, examining any kind of flaw in my face telling him I'm lying. "Ok then," He says, still squinting his eyes. "So who's place are we going to go for band practice? Mine or yours?" A switch in my brain triggers. " Not mine! Definitely not mine!" He raises an eyebrow. "Really?" He crosses his arms. "And why is that?" "Uh..." I ponder for a moment, thinking of any kind of excuse I could think of. ... I got it! " It's a big mess! Yeah, that's it! The floor is completely covered with my dirty clothes. I could barely find my way through my apartment! Heh Heh." I rub the back of my neck as I get sweatier. "You're acting weird, Eric." Mark says in an unamused tone. I smile awkwardly. " Hey guys." A voice startles me from behind and I scream a bit. I turn and see Casie standing there. I sigh in relief. " God Casie, you scared the crap out of me." She cocks her head to the side. " What got you so jumpy?" "He's hiding something, Cas; and I intend to find out just what it is he's hiding." He says leaning to the side. "No i'm not!" "Mark, what did I tell you about prying into someone else's business?" Says Casie in an unamused tone. "B-but he-" Casie interrupts."Stop it already." "Fine." He turns away from me and mutters something to himself; something about "Why he has to take orders from Casie". She takes her eyes of Mark and looks over to me." And Eric," I straighten myself." Yeah?" She smirks at me. " You're a horrible liar." I slump at the statement. " Just cause you're good at acting, doesn't mean you're good at lying." She rolls her eyes. Then I remember that I had to get back to my apartment and sort the whole pony thing out. "Oh! Sorry guys I have to leave." They both give me their goodbyes and I start towards the front door. +++ I close the door of my apartment and slide down the wooden door. I sigh in relief. He almost found out. Why couldn't I just told him the truth? Oh yeah, If I tell him there is a talking pony in my apartment, he'd drag me to the nurse's office. And Casie, what would she think if I told her about the pony? Speaking of the pony.... Where is she? I slowly stand up and head towards my living room, looking to where the grey pony was a while ago. My eyes trail the ground until I find a giant blue call box laying sideways on the floor. What the hell? "Oh hey you're back!" A sweet sounding voice calls. I turn to the right and see the pony just sitting in front of me. "Uh...Hi." I say, awkwardly. "You don't really seem surprised to see me." She cocks her head to the side. I rub my neck," Yeah, but I STILL haven't gotten used to seeing a talking pony though." I chuckle a bit. Wait. " Oh yeah. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?" I point at the blue box on the floor. "Oh that's the Tardis." "Tar-What?" I say, puzzled. "Time and Relative Dimension in Space." a voice, shrouded in static, states. " What's tha- Wait who said that?" I say. "Oh that's the Doctor!" The grey mare says. "Doctor who?" I say. The pegasus smirks and holds up her hoof, where her watch is emitting a small hologram of a brown pony with spiky hair. "Oh that never gets old." It says right before it chuckles. "Okay, NOW I've seen it all." I say, turning my head simultaneously as my rolling eyes. "Oh, that's FAR from it. Believe me." It says in his English accent. When in doubt, trust the British pony. Right. That's exactly what I do. In my mind, I say to myself sarcastically. "You better take a seat though; this may take a while to explain. It's a long story." The grey pegasus says to me. "Oh boy. A long story. And to think have a crap ton of homework to do." +++ I just sat there, listening to the impossible explainations coming out the pegasus' mouth. If someone else were telling me these things, I'd call them crazy, and, or, drag them to a mental hospital. Sinlence fell after her stories. Stories of magic, friendship, and traveling through time and space. At this point, if I heard something like 'A monkey on a unicyle drove off of a freeway, screaming swear words while juggling active chainsaws', I would have believed it. Nothing is compared to the what i'm hearing at this moment. The Tardis is supposed to be a time traveling kind of.. uh.. Ship. I asked the doctor if it was possible travel to alternate dimensions. Disappointingly, he said it is nearly impossible to travel in between universes, and even if it WAS possible he shouldn't even stay in the dimension cause it will likely cause a paradox or something; he was talking all about science things, so I was never able to get it. The pegasus explained earlier that when leaving, or arriving, it harmlessly and constantly fades in and out. Which didn't make sense. When I saw the first saw the Tardis, It was falling from the sky and it knocked me unconscious. That contadicts what the pony had said. "But, when I first saw that thing, it was falling from the sky...And it knocked me unconscious." I soon as I said this, the Doctor gave the pegasus an unamused look. "Care to explain, Ditzy?" He says. The mare slides down her seat with a face that made me want to wrap her in a warm blanket and say 'everything's gonna be okay'."I just don't know what went wrong!" The pegasus states. "I know, Ditzy. You almost never do," He rolls his eyes. Almost? The Pegasus sighs before speaking again."Well, it started when the Doctor left the Tardis to get some food..." +++ The Doctor stepped out of the Tardis before he looked over his shoulder. "Now, you're sure you're up to this Derpy?" He gives Derpy a worried expression. "Of course, Doctor! I wouldn't have agreed to it if I couldn't!" Derpy said. The Doctor's expression didn't leave. "If you get into a tight spot, contact me through the watch I gave you." The Doctor says. "C'mon Doctor, you're just getting some food across the street!" She says, happily. The Doctor smiles awkwardly. "Now if you'll excuse me," She turns around and holds up a basket of freshly baked muffins. " I've got some stuff to do." She says, licking her lips. The Doctor's expression turned from surprised to concerned quickly. "Yeah! Like keeping an eye on the Tardis while i'm gone." Ditzy realizes what the Doctor said and turns to him, hiding the basket of muffins. " Yeah that's excactly what I was talking about! " She says. She gestures the Doctor to go." Relax. Go and look for the food you want and stop worrying so much." The Doctor turns to leave before looking over his shoulder. He gives Ditzy an awkward wave before continuing his walk. The grey Pegasus pony closes the Tardis doors and gives herself a devious grin. "Now that he's gone..." She brings out the muffins she had hid from the Doctor. "I got some things to do." Derpy trots happily towards the base of the Tardis. She turns to see a pillar before walking towards it. She sets the basket of muffins at the base of the pillar. She takes a muffin and sniffs it a couple of times before tossing is up into the air. The muffin flies up and stops before letting gravity kick in. Derpy quickly jumps from the ground before spreading her wings with a loud *Pomf*. She quickly flies to the muffin and catches it with her mouth. "Goal!" She says while putting her arms up in the air, her voice muffled by the muffin. She flies down to the basket while chewing on her muffin. Nom Nom Nom!, She thinks, while smiling to herself in delight. She grabs a muffin and continues the same process over and over again. It was at her 56th muffin when she realized she wanted a bigger challenge. She grabs an armful of muffins and tosses them into the air. She flies to each muffin, swallowing them whole. She repeats the process with the same rythym. Chomp, Chomp, Chomp. She dashes to the final muffin and and opens her mouth. She could amlost hear the triumphant music playing as she- Bonk! It bounces of her snout and falls down to the Tardis controls. It hits the button with a piece of paper taped onto it labeled: Prototype hyperdrive not yet ready! Do not touch! Especially you, Ditzy! Oh no. A siren wails and Derpy immediately covers her ears and cringes her snout. The siren continues it's ear-piercing screech followed by the Tardis' signature Weooorrrp! Weeoooorrrp!. Derpy rushes to the controls and starts tapping random buttons, pulling random levers, and turning random knobs."Oh no, oh no, oh no! What have I done!" She shouts. She eyes buttons as she presses them until her eyeballs rest on a big red button. She ponders for a moment. "What could possibly go wrong?" She loudly asks herself. She raises her forearm before slaming her hoof onto it. The Tardis' sounds stop and Derpy wipes the sweat off her forehead. "Whoo. That was clo-" The Tardis shakes and the sounds continue, faster this time. Derpy falls on her back and she looks around. "What's happening!?" She runs to the monitors(which The Doctor installed) and looks at them. They show the Tardis crashing to an unknown planet which strangely resembles Equestria. An artificial female voice (which The Doctor also installed) repeats the same phrase over and over. "Warning! Crashing to unknown planet!" "Thank you for stating the obvious, EDI!" Derpy spits at the artificial voice. She grabs the Tardis base and braces for impact. "Geronimoooooo!" She shouts to the heavens. Meanwhile... Lunch was delicious. The Doctor trots happily towards where he left the Tardis. Then he remembers what Ditzy could have done. Countless scenes play in his head. One scene involving Derpy and him standing outside the Tardis while it burns. Oh God what could have happened? He trots over to where he left it only to find it gone. He looks at the ground where the Tardis was before and sees a square shaped singe on the ground. Of course that happened. +++ "Hold on! Hold on! EDI? I've heard that name before." I ponder for a few seconds before I recall where it was from. "Mass Effect, right?" I raise my eyebrow. "Wait, but I thou-" "What? Just because I save the world all of the time, doesn't mean I have no time to have a little fun and games! What do I look like, a workaholic?" He smirks at me. "No," I interject."You told me Equestria didn't have technology like we do." "Weeell..." The Doctor says awkwardly. "No it doesn't." I was about to scream 'aha!' at this. but then, " But that doesn't mean I can't find my way around the universe where it has the same games." "Hmm..." I put my forefinger and my thumb to my chin to think. "What is it?" He says to me. "I just don't get it," I pause. I look back at the Doctor--who has a expectant face. " I thought you said it was impossible to travel to parallel universes. Then how do you explain, uh.. Ditzy was it?" The Mare nods." Okay. How do you explain Ditzy's presence here?" "Ah!" The Doctor says, enthusiastically. "An excellent question, my dear sir! This place is not an alternate universe. Nor, is ours one. Rather the solar system where we come from is just hidden. I have been to you're system once, and discovered that no scientist has ever found our system. It's just simply well hidden." He says. I sat there, dumbfounded. "Oh. Then, why can't you just go back? You have a ship--that could take you anywhere, in your han- uh- hooves! And this is not an alternate universe." "When I crashed the Tardis," The mare states. The Doctor looks at her with an 'I told you not to touch it' look. "It sustained heavy damages. A lot of VERY heavy damages. So now it needs some time to repair itself." Well, there goes the plan of throwing her back into that thing and sending her on her way... I sigh."Well, there goes that idea. I guess you'll need somewhere to stay then. Somewhere safe, probably" I say. Immediately the Doctor and the mare look at each other with confused expressions. "What? What's wrong?" They both give me a look that makes me know exactly what they mean. "No. NO, NO, NO!" I shout while swiping my arms to the sides. "Not here! What if someone finds out? They could... Take you away! Or... I don't know, dissect you?!" " Well, this is a bit unexpected, innit?" The Doctor states as he puts his hoof to his forehead." Look, like it or not, you would have to let Ditzy stay with you for the time being. And if you don't, the things you say are MORE likely to happen." I give them a look of defeat. "...Fine."