The unicorn Royal Guard turned and his eyebrow raised as he saw Cane Sugar approach. “I haven't seen you before,” he said.
Cane nodded in greeting. “Detective Cane Sugar,” he introduced himself shortly, “Team Leader of FSTE. Recent transfer from Mareami.” As per protocol, the guard didn't provide his name in return, though the identification number on his chest plate was very visible. Although the armor he wore concealed his identity under the generic gray stallion guise, his mannerisms and stance indicated to Cane that he was most likely in his early twenties, unmarried, and wore his crossbow on his left forehoof.
Cane knelt to look at the body. A rather nondescript blue pegasus lay sprawled on the ground, with a lightning bolt gracing his flank and a crossbow bolt gracing the back of his head. Blood trailed from around the entry site and had puddled on the ground. A half-eaten sandwich lay on the picnic blanket he had been sitting at, along with settings and food for at least one other pony. “So what happened?” Cane asked, not raising his eyes.
Correctly assuming that he was the one being addressed, the Royal Guard answered. “Bad-luck Blue Sky here (1) was having a picnic with his marefriend, got shot from behind. I sent the call as soon as I could, but I was probably here ten minutes after the fact, maybe more.”
“So it's been about twenty-five minutes,” Cane said. This seemed to agree with the size of the blood spread.
“That's his marefriend,” the guard said, jerking his horn over his shoulder. Cane turned to see a very distraught pink pegasus sobbing uncontrollably while hanging on to Slip, who looked very uncomfortable as he tried (unsuccessfully) to comfort her. Cane also noted that Surprise was nowhere to be seen. He returned his attention to the body as the unicorn continued, “Guess they were having a romantic picnic or something and this bolt came out of nowhere.”
“You got anything on him?” Cane asked.
The guard shook his head. “Nothing. This rotation we have only one pegasus guard, and the rumor mill is pretty slow in terms of pegasi.” Royal Guards had the advantage of all looking the same, so they could be swapped in or out at a moment's notice. This had given rise to a system of liberal information sharing among the guardsponies, so that a new guard would not be blindsided by a tradition or city-wide quirk or something that every other guard had learned.
Cane thought that such would be a strange life, but he had heard that the benefits were good. Reaching into his saddlebags, he pulled out a pencil and a piece of enchanted paper, and began to sketch the fallen pegasus's cutie mark, which looked like a thundercloud with a lightning trail surrounding it. After drawing and labeling its colors, he turned to the unicorn. “Could I trouble you for a light?” The overused joke rolled smoothly off Cane's tongue, even though his voice was still flat and level. The unicorn smirked as he lit his horn, lifted the paper, touched the paper, and set it on fire. The guard then pulled a candle out of... wherever they kept their things (Cane was pretty sure that armor had more enchantments on it than a bank vault) and lit it, too, awaiting the reply.
“Until the file-seekers get that back, I'm going to go talk to the mare.”
The guard looked at Slip, who seemed to be having trouble breathing as the mare held on tightly around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder. “Better you than me, detective,” he said.
Cane Sugar is many things. Cuddly is not one of those things, and that “don't touch me” aura radiated off of him like heat off the street in the middle of summer.
Still, after a traumatic event like watching your coltfriend suddenly collapse and die, you don't notice this body language; and when Cane walked up to talk to her, she dropped Slip (who mouthed a silent' thank you, sir' to Cane and scampered away) and latched on to the much larger, much more protective-looking pony.
Cane fought back the flashback that flared through his mind at the tight hug, and he responded as comfortingly as he could. “Ma'am? I need to ask you a few questions.”
She answered by sobbing into his chest.
Cane spoke gently. “Let's start with your name.”
“A- Amber Rose.”
“That's a nice name," Cane said, bringing up a hoof to stroke her mane. "Not common for pegasi.”
“M- my father was a florist," she said, her breathing calming slightly. "He was an earth pony, you know.”
“Ah. But you don't have a flower mark.”
Amber gave a slight smile as she shook her head. “I like the air.”
Cane turned back to the fallen colt. “With a mark light that, I think it's safe to say that he did, too.”
“Yeah, Lightning Rod is a cloud pusher. He loves... loved the weather.” This simple statement made her dissolve into sobs again. Cane winced, realizing that that might have been a bit fast. He let her just cry for a while, knowing that at times, that was what was necessary.
“We were going to be engaged!” she wailed when she had calmed enough to speak again. “He even bought me a necklace and everything!”
So that explained the poking in his chest. Cane looked at the engagement necklace with a wary eye. He was no jewelry expert, but he had cracked quite a few forgeries cases in his day, and had a sense for what felt like gold and what didn't. And this definitely felt like real gold.
“Ma'am? I need to examine this a bit more closely. Do you mind...”
“Please don't take it from me!” she screamed, crossing her forearms over it protectively.
“It's only for a moment. I need to know if it's real gold.”
She raised a wary eyebrow. “It is."
"Yes, but I need to document that it is."
"What are you going to do?” she asked.
Cane smiled. “I'm going to put it in water, and see how dense it is.”
“Or, you could ask a unicorn,” the royal guard broke in. “We deal with forgeries all the time. Every guard knows the spell.” Holding it in his magic, he closed his eyes and cast the spell.
As he did, a green flame burst into existence, and a small scroll fluttered to the ground. Cane nodded appreciatively. The file-seekers here were a bit slower than the ones in Mareami, but that was not bad for a small town. He slid the scroll over to Slip, who picked it up and read carefully.
The unicorn stood back up and returned his verdict. "Pure gold.”
“Told you,” Amber said. “I went with him when he bought it.”
“Where did he get it?” Cane asked.
“Gold Dust's shop on fifth. Paid it all in cash, even.”
Cane bit his lip. Every city was different, but cloud pushers were known for not making a lot of money. Not that their duties weren't important; but there were so many pegasi looking for work that wages weren't very high. What was too low for some pegasi was just right for others, and it was a safe bet to assume that every pegasus had worked the clouds at least once in their lives. So for Lightning Rod to pay in cash for such a large necklace... “Interesting,” he said.
“What did you find, boss?” Surprise asked. Cane noticed that she sounded like she was eating something, and he turned to see her enjoying a large green ice cream cone.
Cane blinked in surprise. “Surprise, where did you get that ice cream cone?”
Surprise pointed with a wing. “From the unicorn selling them over there. I'm pretty sure he saw something.”
“And what makes you so sure of that?”
Surprise took a big bite of her cone before answering. “Because he said he didn't see anything,” she said, spewing little pieces of waffle cone everywhere as she spoke, “but he was lying.”
“I said don't trust assumptions, Surprise,” Cane said flatly.
“Oh, I got normal information, too,” Surprise said, taking a long lick of her ice cream. Slip flinched—had he tried that, he would have had a killer brain freeze. Surprise, on the other hoof, seemed unfazed. “His name is Double Scoop, and that's about it on him. Besides the fact that he was born without front legs and uses magic for everything, there's nothing too special about him. His business license checks out and everything, says he's been doing this for about seven years. He also said he was serving ice cream with his head in the freezer when the shot was fired and that's when he said he saw nothing.”
“We'll check for any record on him when we get back to the office. Please take miss Amber back home.”
Surprise saluted, and took Cane's place as Amber's comforter. She didn't seem ready to fly home just yet, so Surprise just held her and offered her some of her ice cream, which was flatly refused.
Cane turned to Slip. "Anything?"
Slip shook his head. "His name really is Lightning Rod, graduated Riverton High three years ago. Cloud pusher for seven years. Worked through high school. No criminal record, aside from a suspected FWI that got dropped." (2) Slip shrugged. "He seems a good-enough pony to me, sir."
Cane scanned the area. “There are always ponies in a park. Somepony must have seen something.” He turned to the guard. “Can you at least get them doing something besides milling around? We need to take their statements, and I think there are few enough that it would be worth our time to talk to them all.”
The guard nodded, then turned to face the crowd. “Citizens!” he called. He paused as they settled down, and then continued. “I know you are shocked by this event. I mean, I'm a Royal Guard, for Celestia's sake, and I, too, am surprised at this.”
Surprise perked up at the mention of her name, but when she realized that she was not being addressed, she shrugged and continued to stroke Amber's mane.
“But we have here a detective who came all the way from Mareami, along with his team of special scene investigators, and they are here to solve this case and find our murderer.”
“It could have been any one of us!” one mare wailed.
The guard nodded. “It's true. And that's why I'm certain we'll have your unconditional cooperation in this matter. After completing his initial analysis, he, myself, and the others on his team, will come around, asking each of you a few questions. Please try to remember any details, anything at all. Any information will help us in this investigation.” His voice hardened. “Because if there's one thing I know about murderers, it's that they never strike just once.”
A gasp ran through the gathered ponies, and a mare among the crowd fainted.
“We're asking you to stay calm at this time. Please form three lines, so we may get our questions asked, and you good ponies safely at home, as quickly as possible. Thank you.”
As the crowd began to drift into formation, Cane raised an eyebrow appreciatively. “Not bad.”
The unicorn shrugged. “Charisma is a personal talent of mine. It's part of how I got my job.”
Cane laughed darkly. “If I needed charisma, I would still be unemployed.” He circled the body again, paying special attention to the angle of the bolt. Hopping on to the bench, he grabbed one of his own bolts, and positioned it in the same angle. “The angle of the bolt indicates it came from high up. So we're probably looking for a pegasus.”
“Probably?” the guard asked.
“Yes. Now I'll look around to see if I missed anything else, and the rest of you start taking statements, see if anypony saw anything suspicious.”
“You want us to ask about suspicious pegasi?” Slip asked.
Cane facehoofed, and when he spoke, his words dripped with disgust. “If I wanted you to ask about pegasi, I would have said 'pegasi'. But I didn't say 'pegasi'. I said 'anything'.”
Slip protested. “But you said it was a pegasus, sir.”
“Clean your ears out, Rookie; I said 'probably',” Cane said, returning the bolt to its quiver. “Never make assumptions. For all you know, it was an earth pony off the back of a flying moving truck. Now go.”
* * *
Surprise had left and returned during the statement-taking. Slip hadn't even seen her leave. Cane, however, had sensed her coming up behind him, and merely passed her a clipboard--without even looking at her--and continued asking questions.
Eventually, all four regrouped, with the results of the statements.
“Did you get anything?” Cane asked.
Surprise saluted. “Amber is safe at home!”
"Plenty," Slip said, as he looked at his notebook. “Seems like most ponies mentioned a funny cloud, a fast pegasus, and the ice cream pony.”
Surprise nodded. “Fast pegasus, ice cream pony. How weird would it be to not have front legs?” Surprise let out a gasp of horror. “That would be awful! That would be like being born without wings!”
The rest of the group (none of whom had been born with wings) gave her a flat look before moving on.
“Yeah. I'm thinking these ponies aren't so bright,” the Royal Guard said, shooting a look at Surprise. “I got mostly ice cream pony and his magic, and one mention of a colt who could fart the ABCs.”
Cane pulled a wry face. “Same on my end, minus the flatulence. No disturbance, no conflict, just 'he was there, and then he was dead'.” He sighed. “There must be something I've missed. Surprise? Follow up on that funny cloud lead.”
Surprise saluted before taking off.
Slip chewed his lower lip. “How is it possible that nopony saw the shooter?”
The unicorn shrugged. “It's a park,” he noted. “Here, you're in your own zone, with your own group. I can't tell you how many ponies we've snuck up on and apprehended in parks because they get so engrossed in their activities.” He lifted a hoof to his head, remembering one incident in particular. “We found one pony playing horseshoes. He decided to play with my head from close range.” The royal guard paused as something occurred to him. “Can't you tell how far away he shot from depending on how deep the entry wound is?”
Cane shook his head. “I need two points of reference. If I know where he shot from, I know how fast it was going, and can look up which crossbow fires at that speed. If I knew what crossbow he shot, I can calculate how far away he was. With just one point, I can't tell. Maybe he was a hundred feet away with a Big Thunderer. Maybe he was fifteen feet away with a Mini-me training bow.”
The guard smiled. “I remember having one of those. I preferred magical combat, though. Easier to reload.”
Slip unconsciously brushed a hoof against his loading mechanism. Loading crossbows was always a bit complicated. It required using your mouth to cock the lever back, loading in a bolt (which had to be straight and level, or else you might misfire or worse, hit something or somepony you weren't aiming for), and then aiming. Most crossbows went from fetlock to knee, but some larger and more powerful crossbows, like the one Cane wore, went nearly up to the elbow. These larger bows had two stops to shoot from, and firing it required snapping the weapon so that the braces (normally disengaged to allow for bending the leg and walking) locked into a straight sight. Slip was never very quick at reloading, and seeing somepony using a snapping crossbow usually meant that they knew how to use it, and use it well. Briefly, Slip wondered just how fast Cane Sugar was.
“Anyway, I don't think I'll be much help anymore.”
“Leaving already?” Slip asked.
The unicorn shrugged. “I'm a Royal Guard. I'm here to look pretty, act scary, and call you guys when we need detectivey stuff done. I'm trained in riot quelling and beating down the random pony who doesn't know when to shut up, not figuring out who did the beating down.”
Cane smiled. “Finally. Somepony who understands his job.”
Having taken absolutely zero offense to that comment, the guard nodded and left.
“How many of those are here, anyway?” Cane asked, out of curiosity.
“There are fifteen or sixteen, they're always rotating them. We're not too big of a city, but we're pretty close to the forest, so they have a small presence.”
“That makes sense.” Mareami had had a much larger presence. They had also had a much larger police force, and a much higher crime rate.
Surprise landed, eliciting a squeak of fright from Slip (which, in turn, elicited a facehoof from Cane). She saluted. “Nothing to report, boss. Found a couple clouds broken up and out of place, but it was probably some foals playing with them.”
“What makes you so sure of that?”
Surprise shrugged. “Light, wispy clouds aren't good for much else. No good for riding, no good for hiding, no good for raining, good for playing cloudfight and throwing at each other.”
Cane accepted this. Being an earth pony, he liked having the earth beneath his hooves. Much of what pegasi did in the sky was a mystery to him, and not one he was inclined to investigate further.
“All right. Now we follow up on any other leads.”
Surprise giggled. “Ooh... I heard that there's this one place on fifth that is selling two-for-one muffins this afternoon! We should totally investigate that.”
Cane turned to Slip. “Where did you guys find her again?” he asked, jerking a hoof at the nutty pegasus.
Slip shrugged. “She's been around as long as I can remember. I think she's just always been here and is never going to leave.”
Cane smirked. “A bit like that one old bit that you keep spending, but somehow it keeps ending up in your pouch, right?”
Slip tried to suppress a very filly-like giggle, while Surprise frowned. “I'm standing right here,” Surprise said flatly.
Cane smirked. “I know. I just don't care. Now how about you go up to Riverton Weather Center and see what you can dig up on Lightning Rod. Talk to his boss, his co-workers, heck, even the janitor.”
Surprise saluted and flew off.
“Now what, sir?” Slip asked.
Cane readjusted his sunglasses and smiled. “Now, we do detectivey things.”
“Like?” Slip prompted.
“Like take the body to the medical examiner and see what turns up.”
Slip cocked his head. “What's that?”
Cane turned and stared at Slip, before realizing that he was in the wrong this time. “Right... Riverton probably doesn't have one. Looks like we're going outside department. What do you do when you want some information about dead ponies?”
Slip shrugged. “Take them to the morgue. That unicorn's been there forever. I don't think there's anything he hasn't seen.”
“Then that's exactly what we're going to do,” Cane said.
“Take the body?” Slip asked.
“Are you volunteering?” Cane gave him a congratulatory slap on his shoulder. “Thanks, Rookie! Go grab a cart while I take one last look around.”
Slip gave a small nod. “Yes, sir.” He shuddered as he turned around. There had been plenty of adventure already today. Meeting the undertaker on top of that was really not something he wanted. Actually, if he had had his way, he would never have stepped hoof in that morgue again. But procedure was procedure, and Cane seemed serious, so he swallowed and headed out.
This was going to be fun...