//------------------------------// // Chapter 3:Hue-Mans // Story: Oh the Humanity! A Si Fron and Stormcaller Tale // by Jack Frankenstien //------------------------------// Oh the Humanity!  A Si Fron and Stormcaller Tale Chapter 3:  Hue-mans and their Tell A Vision these days! “My Little Ponies... please tell me... what are you doing in my favorite patch of flowers?” Si Fron involuntarily yawned and slowly opened his eyes as he was gently roused from his dreams by the melodious voice.  He did did not expect to see Celestia staring at him, though, and quickly froze from the sight of such an important pony even being near him.  In a calmly controlled panic, he slowly closed his eyes again, futilely hoping that if he remained still enough, she would go away thinking that he fell back asleep and-         “OMYGOSH!”         Si Fron’s already poor plans were dashed mid-thought as he was flung violently from the flower bed and at the feet of Celestia. The culprit was one lovesick Stormcaller, who had leapt from the pile of ponies to literally kiss the ground the princess was standing on.  Trixie, who also was violently woken up by Stormcaller, began bowing and kissing the ground as well, although it was more out of a thinly veiled attempt to appear humble.  She was overshadowed, though, by Stormcaller’s even more ill-conceived attempts to make conversation with the ruler of the mythical country.         “YOU’RE HOT!”  Stormcaller blurted out as soon as his mind could process that he actually was in the presence of Celestia.  She merely raised an eyebrow and her poker smile grew imperceptibly in response to his outburst.         “Umm, I mean, because you’re the Princess of the Sun.  I mean, that you are physically hot!  In a totally non-sexual way!  I mean not that you aren’t that kind of hot too!  I uhh-”         “Oh for the love of God, Stormcaller, Shut up!”         Si Fron, who felt embarrassed by merely watching the embarrassing situation, had out of desperation tackled the babbling blue pegasus and proceeded to try to keep his mouth clamped shut. Startled, Stormcaller began to try to throw off his attacker as he continued to make a fool of himself verbally by letting slip innuendoes about wanting to make out with her. Celestia giggled lightly, placing a hoof over her mouth as The Enraged and Terrified Trixie enter the fray, trying to keep both of them from making even bigger fools of themselves than they already had.  Eventually, a gentle glow akin to the first rays of a golden dawn enveloped the three ponies and separated them.         “Well, it seems to me that everypony got off on the wrong hoof this morning.  Judging from the glass and which window was broken, I’d say my sister got excited and launched you three into the garden with the Royal Canterlot Voice last night, correct?”         The three nodded hesitantly.  Celestia sighed, although her slight smile never left her face.         “Well, I suppose you should be compensated for your troubles.  Come with me and we can talk about what you came here for as we have breakfast.”         Mumbling some form of agreement, the three blushing ponies silently followed Celestia to the dining hall. None of them said anything they were so embarrassed.  Even the sight of Luna skipping down the halls of the castle like a little schoolgirl couldn’t break their embarrassed silence, although it came very close. As they walked, Si Fron noticed that Trixie was walking closely next to Stormcaller, as if she found the presence of another pony more comforting. Eventually, they all made it to the grand dining room in all of its glory.  With its fantasy design and feel, the dining area fit hardly looked out of place with the rest of the majestic castle.  Long, finely carved tables adorned with the whitest of tablecloths that ran their length, the silverware looked as if it was actually made of silver, and the fine china was decorated with masterfully detailed pictures and designs.  Every seat even had its own personal butler or maid to attend the possible occupant.   Celestia merely nodded, acknowledging the hard working staff.  Si Fron looked on, feeling more and more impressed as the reality of the situation overrode his fictionally spoiled mind.  Trixie gaped, having never conceived of such a sight in her entire lifetime.  Stormcaller, on the other hand... “OH MYGOSH!  THIS IS SO AWESOME!”  yelled the pegasus as he rushed over from spot to spot in the room.  “I can’t believe we are actually here in the castle, can you believe it, because I can’t and I am actually here!” Si Fron nervously raised a hoof as he went to say something, but the word died on his tongue as Celestia placed a calming hoof on his shoulder. She silently debated with him for a moment or two using facial expressions, but Si Fron finally relaxed a little bit when she pointed out with a jerk of her head that the butlers were smiling and snickering too.  So, trying not to feel embarrassed or unnecessarily concerned, Si Fron followed Celestia and sat at one of the seats close to the head of the table where she was.  Across from him sat Stormcaller, who was babbling on about pancakes and muffins to a butler of saint-worthy patience, while Trixie sat between him and Celestia. “So, since you are guests of the Royal Canterlot Castle,” Celestia gracefully said once everypony was seated. “I think it would be only natural that I ask you what you want to eat.” “Really?”  Trixie asked, raising an eyebrow. “Really,” Celestia replied with a nod. “Are you sure?”  Si Fron said, still a little out of sorts at the good fortune he was experiencing. “I am sure,”  Celestia replied again. “Annyyything...?”  Stormcaller said suggestively, as a humorous tease. Celestia smiled coyly and leaned her head in close, whispering seductively in his ear. “Anything.” Stormcaller, not expecting this, blushed violently and quickly spat out that he wanted pancakes.  Trixie panicked a bit, not sure how to feel, as Si Fron did his best not to break out into full blown laughter out of respect for his friend. Celestia, having none of that, made a silly face at him and the earth pony fell out of his chair in gales of laughter.  He was shortly joined by the princess and eventually everyone else as the laughter spread like a contagion throughout the room. Once they had recovered, Trixie ordered a salad and Si Fron ordered a couple of Blueberry pancakes and a chocolate chip  and peanut butter waffle.  As they waited, Celestia began the small talk. It went awkwardly at first, but soon the food arrived and the guests had their first bites.  The food soon prompted some shouts of glee and questions regarding the recipe and origin of the ingredients of the delicious delicacies. “Now that we have our food,” Celestia politely redirected the conversation. “Do you mind if I ask what the three of you came here to ask of the court?  Usually I’d have you wait for another hour or two when the court opens up to all ponies, but since we have a bit of time on our hooves, now would be just as good.” Si Fron looked to Stormcaller, who was too busy enjoying his meal to speak.  He then shrugged and looked at Trixie. “Ladies first.” Trixie looked at the earth pony for  minute before brushing off the odd saying.  She then looked to Princess Celestia for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to make her request.  After a moment, she sighed dramatically. “Oh dear Princess Celestia, who raises the life-giving sun every morning, Tr- I humbly beseech you for nothing more than a means to a livelihood.  You see, Tr-I was a traveling magician, spreading amazing magics to all of the backwater villages when I happened on a small rustic village by the name of Ponyville. During my sta-” Celestia raised a hoof at this point.  Her expression grew stern.   “I believe I have heard about this incident from my apprentice,”  Celestia began.  “Who was personally involved in the matter.” Trixie gulped as she realized what was about to come down.  Shame and guilt surged forth, reinforcing the truth brought by the princess’ next words. “When you went to Ponyville, you began a simple show based on the premise of showing off your magic.  After only a few firework spells, however, you began boasting about yourself endlessly and insulting the crowd as you did so.  You then proceeded to humiliate several of the ponies who heckled you for your insolence and acted arrogantly about your victories.  You continued to act distastefully about all of this and even made up a story about defeating an impossibly difficult foe.  Celestia was saying all of this curtly as her gaze bore into the showmare.  Trixie gulped as the ruler of the sun continued to recount the incident.  “A tale that two rather impressionable young colts decided that they wanted to see reenacted with a real Ursa. The resulting fiasco resulted in massive amounts of property damage and even an injury or two.  While holding the last account against you would be unjust, your actions have shown a rather poor display of character that I am severely disappointed came from one of my subjects. I can only assume what you wish to ask of me, but let it be known that I am not particularly inclined to grant your request after having heard all of this from multiple sources, including one that I trust with my life.  If you still want to make your request, then you may do so at this time.” Trixie had flinched when Celestia had began her tirade, knowing that she was not in the princess’ favor.  As the accusations had continued, the mare shrank down in her seat until it was no longer physically possible to do so. Once Celestia had brought out the whole ugly truth to bear, Trixie had been reduced to a sniveling wreck. Whimpering, Trixie was barely able to keep her words audible. “...I just needed a job...” Celestia’s stern expression shifted into one that could not easily be read. “You request a job?” “Yes, your highness...”  said Trixie, quivering in fear and having at last completely dropped the annoying pronoun replacement.  “I have fallen on hard times ever since the incident and I left Ponyville feeling terrified and humiliated.  My only home was destroyed by the Ursa and so I had to spend the next few days without my bits and a home. If it wasn’t for the grass and the occasional pine cone that I had to scavenge, I would surely have starved.   “Despite all of this and the constant laughter and scorn I have had to deal with ever since the incident, I was still too proud at first to even conceive of asking anypony for help to seek employment.  However,” she hung her head low in shame. “the guilt and the truth finally caught up to me and by the time they were through they had left me crushed. My reputation soon spread and it became harder and harder to find even a lowly cleaning job that would keep me afloat. If it wasn’t for the kindness of a few individuals like these two, I may never have had the courage to even drop my pride to ask even for directions to where a job might be, much less to come here knowing that something like this might happen...” Si Fron blinked in surprise.  In a rare gesture, he reached out and put a hoof on Trixie’s shoulder, causing the mare to look up at him with eyes that were holding back the tears of broken pride. Si Fron smiled softly, instinctively wanting to comfort the pony in front of him. “If it means anything,”he said softly, in the same fashion one would comfort a dear friend.  “I wouldn’t have held it against you.  I sort of like flamboyant personalities, even if you could have been less mean about it.” “Yeah!  I still think you’re totally awesome, even if you are a hobo!”  Stormcaller piped in encouragingly. Trixie stared at the two of them for a moment before she looked down to wipe a tear away from her eye. “Look at me,” Trixie said, forcing a smile. “Here I am with my wrongs and flaws laid out as I shamefully beg for something I don’t deserve and I am crying.  Here, I haven’t learned much and I am still arrogant enough to try to ask for a favor instead of earning what I seek myself.  Here I am being given kindness anyway as I continue to act so shamefully that it isn’t even funny.”   “The proud tend to do that sometimes,”  Celestia said sagely,  her gaze softening.  “But at least you have the courage to admit that.  I have seen many creatures pony and otherwise drop even lower than you and still not admit even to their own pride.” Trixie looked up at the princess in shock. “And instead of asking for bits or a free home like some of the more depraved ponies would, you also have asked for a job to earn your living properly, which shows that despite your demeanor there is still a bit of hope for you.  Or that your pride is at least based on something positive.  Considering that you now seem to know the how greatly the consequences of your actions can affect you, I may give you a job...” Trixie, well and truly humbled, began to bow before Celestia interrupted her with a hoof. “Under the condition that you must follow in my pupil’s footsteps in her studies.” Trixie looked up at her and gulped, her mind trying to imagine what kind of difficult challenges she would have to endure.  Si Fron and Stormcaller smiled, knowing exactly what was coming.  Celestia, with her eternal poker smile, continued. “And to do that, you...”  the ruler paused for dramatic effect. “Have to go out and make some friends.” Trixie blinked, her mind too blank to even be flabbergasted.  After a long bout of silence to process this, Trixie finally responded. “That’s it?” Celestia smiled gently. “You also will have to write to me what you have learned about friendship every so often, but that is nothing to pressure yourself over.  I believe that your experience traveling will help you act as an emergency response guard, meaning that once you are finished with basic training you will be assigned to a unit and be able to travel wherever you want to in the kingdom.  What you do in your time off in any village you happen to be in would also be up to you.”  Celestia’s face grew stern fto emphasis the importance of her words. “Poor behaviour would prevent that freedom and, if repeated, would take away this one and only chance that I’m giving you.  One another note, normally the job would get dull after a while and the rigors of the training might get discouraging without anyone by your side.  It isn’t easy and not always exciting as the life of a showmare. But if you need this job as much as you say you do, I am sure you will find a way.  Especially if you keep in mind my condition.” The former showmare sat there with a very confused look on her face.  Then, slowly, Trixie nodded.  As the whole message sank in, a heartfelt smile blossomed on her face. “I am very humbled, your highness.  I... I thank you humbly from the bottom of my heart.” Trixie then turned to Si Fron and Stormcaller, nodding at them.  Her expression uncomfortably shifted a bit as she searched for her next words. “And thank you too.  I ... admit I may have had a bit of unnecessary anxiety when it came to coming here. You two have helped more than I may have realized and for that, I owe you any important favor you may wish to ask.” Si Fron smiled sympathetically and waved his hoof. “It’s nothing major. I know that feeling myself.  I’m just glad I could help.” The earth pony truly was.  Being able to make a visible difference for the better helped boosted an otherwise low confidence and self-esteem.  He was rather like Pinkie Pie in that aspect, if he ever bothered to think about it. “Well, now that we have that matter out of the way,”  Celestia said, smiling gently at the scene before her.  “What are your requests?” Si Fron took a moment to see if Stormcaller had anything to say.  When it was apparent that Stormcaller had become distracted eating his breakfast, Si Fron sighed and turned to Celestia to speak.   “Umm, well, uh...I think...” Si Fron stuttered and trailed off, feeling increasingly self-conscious about the situation.  He knew what he wanted to ask and he knew generally how he wanted to say it, but whenever he opened his mouth to speak, the words got jammed in his throat and his mind wiped itself clean.  Eventually, Trixie sighed in exasperation and disgust at the pony’s nerves. “They were on their way to Ponyville and got lost,”  she said swiftly, trying her best not to be curt about it.  “In addition to accompanying me, they simply wanted to see you and maybe ask for directions. Of course, of all the times to be locked up with nerves, he chose now.  Of course, no one can really blame him, but still!” Si Fron blushed and shrunk back in his own seat.  Celestia glanced at a butler who nodded and promptly brought out a piece of paper.  He made a quick stroke on it and looked towards another butler, who rolled his eyes and hoofed over a few bits. “If that is all you require, my little ponies,”  Celestia said in a calm, practiced voice.  “Then all you need to do is take the Friendship Express and you should arrive there in a day.  If you can’t afford it for whatever reason, then you can take the road out of Canterlot and stay as close to the forest as you can as you take the path.  The hoofpath will take about 5-6 hours, depending on your physical condition and if you decide to stop and see Cloverville.” “Really?”  Si Fron said with a bit of relief.  “I thought it would take longer for some reason.  I just hope we haven’t worried Pinkie Pie and Rarity with how late we already are.” Celestia raised an eyebrow in bemusement.   “Are they expecting you?” Stormcaller, who had just finished eating his breakfast, nodded vigorously. “Uh huh!  You see, we would have been there earlier but we didn’t have our tickets to get on the train when we got to the train station because when we woke up it was, like, going to leave super duper soon so we had to rush on over to the train station with all of the luggage and by the time we got there Rarity and Pinkie got on the train but when we tried to get on-” “My word, I don't think the Great and Powerful Trixie has ever seen or heard of a pony who talks like that,” Trixie murmured as Stormcaller began Pinkie-Speaking. “-so we tried to jump on it but since I couldn’t fly we fell on the ground and rolled down a  hill and we had to walk there but we took a wrong turn at Albuquerque so we ended up heading towards here and running into a really mean unicorn who liked diet Pepsi which is stupid because Diet Pepsi doesn’t have sugar in it and what is the point of Pepsi if it doesn’t make you hyper?  Anyway we then-” “Reminds me of a certain friend of my favorite pupil,”  Celestia mused wryly. “-or is it a fancolt here...  anyway,  we came here to see you but it was nighttime so we went to see Luna instead and ended up getting knocked out of the castle by that super duper loud voice and-” “Who is this student of yours anyway?”  Trixie asked idly as she tried to spare her brain from trying to process the 100 mile an hour summary Stormcaller was giving. “-‘Do you want breakfast?’  and we came here then Trixie had some character development and here we are with me talking one hundred miles an hour-” “Twilight Sparkle,”  Celestia said simply, causing Trixie to spit out a bit of her drink. “...I now doesn’t feel quite as bitter about being upstaged in Ponyville,”  she said quietly and evenly in her shock. “-and that is why Kumquats are always better than Platypi!”  Stormcaller finally concluded. Si Fron, who was the only one paying attention to Stormcaller’s speech when he started going off topic, had doubled over laughing. “Kumquats...”  was all Si Fron could say in his hysterical guffaws. “Well,”  Celestia said carefully. “Sounds like you two have already had quite a time here in Equestria.  Since my student knows the two ponies in question, I’ll send a letter to her so that they know about your detour and can relax knowing you’ll be in their town soon.  As for getting to Ponyville, You actually were heading on the right path.  Just exit the way you came and make a left.  You’ll be within viewing distance in a few hours of walking.” “Really?” Si Fron mused.  “Huh, maybe we really should get a map...” “Perhaps,”  she smiled wryly.  “On a different note, I’d like to-” Before she said anything else, a white unicorn with a blue mane and silver armor stepped in.  He looked a bit young and he had a grim expression on his face as he motioned for Celestia to come to him.  She excused herself and headed over to the unicorn and conversed with him in hushed tones.  After a moment, she turned to her guests. “I do sincerely apologize, but I have a situation to deal with at the moment.  Shining Armor here will deal with your induction momentarily, Trixie, once we have discussed something important,”  she turned her head to Stormcaller and Si Fron.  “And I trust you two will want to get moving as soon as possible.  Feel free to take as much of the leftovers as you like, since you seem to be a bit short on funds at the moment. It was pleasant meeting all of you and I hope you have a good day.” With that Princess Celestia and the stallion known as Shining Armor left to deal with the situation.  Trixie turned to the two stallions, her expression betraying her perplexity. “Do either of you have any idea have any clue what that was about?” Si Fron shook his head as a feeling of tense excitement gripped his gut.  Stormcaller wing-shrugged as he gathered up any and all of the leftovers in a checkered cloth that most of the waiters swore wasn’t there before. “I dunno, but it probably means that cool, fate of Equestria sort of things are gonna happen soon.” Trixie blinked and stared at the pegasus as they began to walk down the corridors towards the entrance..   “What makes you say that?”         “Call it a hunch,”  Stormcaller said as he winked at Si Fron, who just rolled his eyes. “Anyway,”  Trixie shook her head as the trio came to a stop near the entrance of the castle. “This is where we part, I suppose. I really do want to thank you two for what you did for me.  If we meet again and you need anything, I promise I will do everything in my power to help you two.” “That is very kind of you,”  Si Fron said before a grin appeared on his face.  “I’d also like to thank you too.” “Oh really?” “For two things, actually.  Thank you for the offer even though it was simply what anypony should have done.” “And?” Trixie asked, raising an eyebrow in suspicion at the inclusion of ‘for two things, actually’. “And,” Si Fron continued, doing his best not to break out snickering. “Thank you for finally using pronouns!” Trixie blinked in surprise before blushing at the lampshading of her quirk. Storm took the moment to roll on the floor laughing as she recovered and stuck her tongue out.   “Oh shut up!”  she said with a blush before trying to whack Si Fron over the head with a newspaper. With a parting laugh, Trixie left to begin her life as a part of the emergency response guard as Si Fron and Stormcaller left through the entrance.  They calmly walked on through the busy daytime streets of Canterlot, where they spent the time talking about some of the different ponies and buildings they passed.  Soon enough they were back  the trail down the mountain and even sooner after that they were down the right path towards Ponyville. As they grew ever closer to their destination, the duo’s excitement grew little by little, only tempered by the cross country hike they were taking to get there.  Stormcaller’s wings flapped up and down stiffly with tense excitement and Si Fron eventually stopped taking the time to readjust his hat every time it began to slide somewhat to the side of his head.  The excitement grew to a boiling point when Stormcaller squeed loudly. “LOOK!  LOOK, SI FRON!”  He grabbed his friend and pointed to a spot off in the distance.  “LOOK OVER THERE!” With a bit of squinting, the earth pony soon had a smile on his face big enough to rival his friend’s.  His legs began to pump up and down more vigorously as they once again resumed their hike towards Ponyville.  The hike, though, quickly turned into a jog which evolved into a flat out run as they sped down the trail and made a beeline towards their destination.  15 minutes later, the two were panting just as they crossed into the town good and proper. “We’re here!”  Stormcaller cheered, turning a few heads in their direction. “I know right?”  Si Fron beamed as he looked around and soaked in all of the details from the rough textures of the old fashioned homes to the coarse and smooth furs of the ponies to even the earthy smells of the ground and the delicious aroma of baked goods.  The sounds of the pleasant voices drifting through the air as ponies scurried from place to place in the afternoon sun also wasn’t too shabby either.  He spent a moment more savouring the surroundings before turning back to Stormcaller. “Wow, it is even more awesome than I imagined!” “...I’ve seen better,”  Stormcaller commented after a few moments.  His friend looked at him with bewilderment before the Pegasus finally broke down laughing.  “PSYCHE!  But man, if this is how it feels to just be in Ponyville, just imagine how Pinkie’s party will be!” “Oh yeah!  Pinkie Pie is probably worried about us!  Or at least wondering where we are.” “Well, what are we waiting for?”  The Pegasus dramatically pointed in a random direction.  “On to the Sugarcube Corner!” There was a brief pause.  Stormcaller opened his mouth to speak when Si Fron waved a hoof to cut him off.  Si Fron looked around the plaza for a second, looking for a sign or something.  Alas, there was nothing to direct them towards the Sugarcube Corner.  In fact, there didn’t seem to be any signs to guide newcomers anywhere at all. “Well,”  the earth pony shrugged with one of his legs. “At least we get to see more of the town!  I’m sure it can’t be that hard to find any of the places that were in the show since they stand out, right?” About an hour later Si Fron was mentally kicking himself for his words as they passed the same dead end road leading to a cliff for the third time.  As interesting as it was to run into the first time, the duo were starting to get tired of wandering down different winding paths just to end up in front of the same dead end. “Umm, maybe we should ask for directions,” Stormcaller finally said as he looked over the cliff face and kicked a small rock over its edge. “Sure.  Let’s get back to a somewhat crowded area so we have plenty of ponies to ask.” A few turns later and they managed get themselves lost, ending up in a different part of Ponyville.  Through sheer luck and path exhaustion though, the two had managed to make their way to the farmer’s market where the ponies went from stall to stall to buy and sell fruit, vegetables, and even pots and pans in one odd instance.  Over towards the end of the stalls, Si Fron’s eyes caught what he considered to be the first major ‘landmark’ of the small town. “Hey, Storm!  Look over there!” The pegasus turned his head and smiled as he saw a familiar Stetson wearing pony manning an apple stand.  He grinned and bounced up and down on his hooves. “It’s Applejack!”  he giggled.  “Come on, let’s go meet her!” “Storm, hold on a second.” Just before the pegasus could bowl over every pony between him and the simple farmpony, Si Fron grabbed him by the back of his vest.  With a yelp, they both toppled over and attracted a few stares as they picked themselves back up. “Ahem.  Storm, we probably shouldn’t just go barging up to her like that!” “Aww,” he whined with child-like disappointment. “But why not?” “First, think about how you would feel if some strange pony ran up to you and started babbling on and on in your face with no apparent reason.  Secondly, even if we were all calm about it, Applejack probably wouldn’t talk to us even then without getting into a bad mood.” “Huh?”  the pegasus tilted his head in confusion.  “Why is that?” “Because,”  his companion pointed his hoof to a rather long line of ponies in front of the stall.  “She has customers right now.” “Oh, right...”  his wings drooped as he sighed in defeat.  “Then let’s go wait in line...” For the next few agonizing minutes, they waited as the line would repeatedly stop and go, with ponies getting in line behind them and a few of the more rude ones cutting in front of them.  They could have groaned or shouted in frustration, but they took the high road as they kept their peace.  After what seemed like forever, they finally made it to the Element of Harmony herself. “Oh boy, it’s really you!”  Stormcaller gushed as he stood his front legs on the stall to get even closer to Applejack.  “I mean, this is so amazing I-” “-Ah can’t even believe that it is actually me and Ah think yore the best pony and whatnot, right?,” the mare rolled her eyes.  “Look, ever since a day or two ago ah’ve seen a lot of new ponies who keep coming to mah stall to meet an talk to me an’ generally waste mah time and everyone else’s who are in line to actually buy an apple.  No, Ah don’t mind talkin’ to ya as ya make yore purchase, but if ya don’t buy something then I suggest ya leave before my patience gets any thinner.” “But-but-but-”   “Are ya buyin’ an apple?” “...no...” “Then Ah hope to see ya again when ya want to buy an apple.  Next!” As Stormcaller walked off to the side, Si Fron nervously walked up to the stand. “Umm, I’m sorry, but I don’t have any bits.  I-” “Then why are ya here?” “I was with him... But I-” “Look, Ah don’t want to come across as rude or nothin’,”  she sighed desperately. “But the past few days there have been so many ponies wastin’ mah time that it is getting hard to sell any apples.  Between the lack of potential sales and the fact that all of mah customers are getting fed up with waiting in lines, it gets rather hard on the business.  And all of that could be shortened if ponies would stop jabberin’ on an’ on about ridiculous things like my shipping costs to Rainbow’s house or somethin’.  Nothin’ personal, honestly!  I hope ya understan’.” Si Fron just nodded weakly and stepped out of line to join his buddy. “Well, that was a bust,”  Stormcaller said morosely before shaking the depression from his mind.  “What are we going to do now?” “I guess we could do what we planned to do in the first place and ask some of the nearby ponies,” the earth pony wandered over to a nearby grey stallion and politely got his attention.  “Excuse me sir, do you know where the Sugarcube Corner is?” “Nope,” the pony said with a hint of sadness.  “I’m sorry, but I am new here myself.” “I see.  Thanks anyway.” “Huh,”  Stormcaller mused as they looked for a new prospective source of information.  “That was unlucky.  Hey, you?” “Me?” asked a lime green unicorn stallion off to the side. “Yeah.  Do you know where Sugarcube Corner is?” “Umm, no, sorry.  I haven’t been in town long enough to see it.” “Okie Dokie Loki!”   “I think I agree about the bad luck,”  Si Fron said with a frown. This continued for a while, the two ponies asking around for directions.  However time and time again, they always seemed to end up asking the wrong ponies or, at least twice, ended up asking a pony who had given out the directions do many times that they simply refused to repeat them again.  After a while, they both sat down on a bench next to a grey coated, black maned unicorn mare who was busy reading the paper. “Man, what is up with all of these new ponies?”  Stormcaller said as he fanned himself with his wings.  “There isn’t much time before sundown and we still haven’t gotten any directions!” “I know!”  he sighed as he looked just past the newspaper reading mare.  “And is it just me, or are there a lot more stallions in ponyville than I thought there were?” “Well, maybe the show just didn’t have time to show them,”  the pegasus suggested as he stretched in his spot. “Yeah...”  Si Fron was about to just give up and admit defeat for the day when his eye caught the headline of the Equestrian Daily newspaper.  After pausing a second to marvel at the fact that their national newspaper WAS called the Equestrian Daily, his eyes returned to the headline. Strange Ponies, or Strange ‘Hue-mans’? “What the-”  Si Fron said before turning to the mare.  “Excuse me miss, but may I see that article?” “Huh?”  She looked up from it.  “Oh, sure.  I was just looking at this because I wanted to see what was going on in Canterlot.  I usually read the Foal Free Press.” As she pulled out the aforementioned newspaper, the white earth pony took ahold of the paper.  After fighting with it to get it into a proper and convenient reading position, the two stallions began to read the article. “By Big Print Now, I know what you are thinking:  What is a ‘hue-man’, and what do they have to do with ponies?  Well, while no one quite has that answer, we will tell you what we DO know.   As of earlier this week, strange reports have been coming in all over Equestria fro Appleoosa to Manehatten about the appearances of odd ponies.  Most of them being stallions of all three pony demographics, the first thing that strikes ponies as odd is that they seemed to have teleported in from any nearby or discernable location from where they are initially sighted.  While a few Unicorns with exceptional talent or specialization can easily use this technique, it is easy for any unicorn with elementary magic education to tell where at least from which direction the initial teleport location is in. However, a few curious unicorns have noted that these teleportations seemed to have no direction at all.  Or at least, any that we can view in the conventional 3-dimensions we are used to. While this isn’t alarming in and of itself, the personalities and reactions of these ponies give place this fact in a suspicious light.  Without fail, every last one of the suspected ponies has reacted in some form or another with surprise, shock, or, in one case, idle verbal acknowledgement.  From there, they all began to behave strangely.  Some of the ponies tried standing on their hind legs alone the way a minotaur would.  Others stuck to using all four legs, but seemed to be hesitant about walking from their spot.  Either way, the ponies would then continue to walk as if they were unused to their own bodies and thought that they would trip or stumble.  Some did, but most managed to walk fine regardless of their apparent anxieties. The curious behaviour, however, would continue in its perplexity, as the ponies would begin to react to their fellow ponies as if they were newborn foals just witnessing their parents for the first time.  Then some would rant and rave with adoration, others with hatred, and others with fear.  When asked, most wouldn’t give a straight answer and for a few days, it was thought that none of them would. Then some of them began called themselves hue-mans.  More specifically, some of them called themselves ‘bronies’. Those who were relaxed or loose lipped enough to talk about it began to babble what at first seemed like nonsense, claiming that they had been hue-mans at some point beforehoof.  Some would go on to speak about how they were either loving fans of something called a TV (short for Tell-a-Vision) show (which has been described as like a movie, only using what can only be interpreted as something requiring more complex magics) while others would show disdain for the very same thing.  Those who didn’t mention the show merely tried to describe their species and how the ‘horses’ of their world had differed from the three pony races. At first, most ponies had passed it off as madness.  Others thought that it was an elaborate prank.  After all, even with conventional transformation spells, even the most talented of unicorns would need the strength of at least ten to perform the spell to make the transformation more permanent.  Even then, the sheer amount, estimated in the high hundreds to even thousands, of these supposedly hue-mans turned ponies suggests that at least a unicorn population exceeding Canterlot’s would be needed to account for all of the transformations in such a short span of time. However, when confronted with this information, more and more of the mysterious ponies began admitting the same thing, even when they had no clear contact with the other ‘brony’ ponies.  The phenomena continued to grow in complexity when the ones who had mentioned the Tell-a-Vision show thing, specifically called My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic, began heading towards a small town called Ponyville. This small town, which, until the events surrounding Discord a few weeks ago, had been relatively unheard of, has attracted major attention with these new ponies.  The vast majority of them are expected to arrive sometime the day before or the very day that this article is released. Meanwhile, those who seemed to have shown nothing but hatred and disdain seemed to have stormed off or reluctantly sought help to return to their original forms and hopefully home.  At least, in the best cases.  Rumors of violence have been coming in from places like Appleoosa, Manehatten, and especially Baltimare.  These reports have frightened ponies, seeing as how such violence is even less common than theft, which occurs less than once a year in the recent times.  If the more hateful of the odd, supposedly transformed ponies are to blame, then investigation into the matter should be initiated as soon as possible. One thing's for sure though:  This event is unprecedented and expected to cause some big changes in Equestrian society. In other, related news, historians and mythologists have also uncovered information to suggest that hue-mans once existed in Pre-Equestrian mythology.  More of that on page 10. Si Fron and Stormcaller stared at the newspaper for the longest time. “Well,”  Stormcaller finally said at last.  “Looks like Pinkie Pie is going to be throwing a LOT of parties...”