//------------------------------// // It's Darth Vader shampoo, Luke Skywalker is the conditioner. // Story: Whatever man. // by Chuckward //------------------------------// Lyra and BonBon were walking towards the Ponyville library escorting an unusual being. They were trying to act as inconspicuous as possible, but the third member of their party was garnering many confused stares. "Lyra, while I'm impressed with your ability to assemble costumes with nothing more than paper clips and masking tape I feel I must ask, why do I need to dress up as a panda," inquired Gerard from within the panda suit. Lyra turned towards Gerard, bearing an expression of disbelief. "We've been over this Gerard, we can't have a strange inter-dimensional creature wandering around Ponyville, the folks here tend to overreact about even the slightest thing. My friend is still seeing a therapist after that bunny stampede." "Pandas are an endangered species where I'm from, are they not in a similar state here as well?" "Well, they are, but they're not as weird as a mysterious creature from a different dimension that nopony's ever seen before." "Oh really, and how many pandas have you seen in your life?" Lyra stopped and turned to Gerard. She angrily grabbed his costume in her teeth and pulled, ripping the paper clips apart. Instantly every citizen in the area ran around screaming in abject horror, dashing towards their homes. Within seconds the entire area had become a veritable ghost town. Lyra turned with a triumphant harrumph and began trotting towards Twilight's library. After a few minutes passed they reached their destination and Lyra knocked on the door. It opened slowly, revealing a haggard looking purple unicorn, the bags under her eyes, as well as the mountainous pile of books behind her were a dead giveaway to the several sleepless nights of study she had partaken in. "Oh hey Lyra, whats up?" "Hi Twilight,I have something you may want to see." "What is it?" "Well, remember how I've been trying to find proof of human existence?" "Lyra we've been over this, there is none and never will be any conclusive evidence of the existence of hu- holy crap." Gerard stepped into view. "Hello miss, Twilight was it? I've heard so much about you along the way." Twilight turned to Lyra, the sleepiness in her expression faded away instantly. "Is this seriously a human?" "Yes,"interjected BonBon," it turns out Lyra was correct all along." "But this is insane," Twilight huffed before a large grin plastered itself onto her face," there's so many research opportunities. Spike!" Spike descended down from the top of the mountain of books, decked out in full hiking gear. "Yes Twilight?" "Get my protractors, we have a lot of studying to do." -------------------------------- Derpy Hooves was happily trotting along a cobblestone path following her daily mail route. She looked at the address on the envelope she was carrying and saw Roseluck's name scrawled on the front. Derpy trotted to Roseluck's house, coming to a halt at the front door. She shoved the envelope into the slot only to notice a small chocolate truffle on a napkin in front of her. There was a note next to the napkin that simply said "for the mail pony" Derpy gulped down the truffle and flew up into cloudsdale, and into the post office. Derpy walked up to her boss's office to let him know she was finished, it wasn't mandatory or anything. She could have simply clocked out, but Derpy preferred to alert her boss in person. She knew what kind of person her boss was. He was the kind of guy who needed to see a pony face to face before he would entrust them with more important jobs, and it was because of this knowledge that Derpy had recently been promoted, she now got the most important jobs, the best hours, and the highest pay. "Hey boss, I finished all of my deliveries, is there anything else you need?" "You know Derpy, day in and day out you're always the first pony to finish their job,keep that up and pretty soon you'll be sitting in this chair instead of me." "Well I don't know about that..." "I mean it, I recently got a call from corporate, and they want me higher up, so I need a replacement. I was thinking you'd be right for the job." "You really mean that sir?" "But of course, now in the meantime there's a package that needs to be delivered to a Miss Dash. Do you think you're up for it?" "Absolutely sir!" Derpy gave her best salute and ran to the mail room, she grabbed a large package, put it in her saddlebags and flew off to Rainbow Dash. Once she arrived she carefully placed the package on the doorstep. "I wonder what discreet shipping means," Derpy said, reading the side of the box. Deciding she would ask later Derpy raised her hoof to the doorbell...and was immediately smacked off the porch by Rainbow Dash, who flew off into the air none the wiser. Derpy plummeted towards the ground, her speed steadily increasing. Derpy continued to fall, desperately trying to regain her balance as a Mach cone began to form around her. It slowly grew thinner and thinner around her, and the very second she regained control of her wings she broke the sound barrier, creating a muffin shaped explosion, sending a loud boom all across Ponyville. She pulled up just before hitting the ground and flew straight ahead, dodging every obstacle in her wake, except a fruit stand. ----------------------------------- That sure was fun to write, so basically every few chapters will follow Derpy.