Chapter 3: Deceptive Cadance
Thorsday, October Fish, 2012, Noon-ish EDT
The Holyoke Mall was slightly unusual in this economy, in that it was still fully occupied and seemingly bustling. From the school busses parked outside and the “My Little Pony Live Show” banner over the entrance, a vibrant events schedule seemed to be the reason why.
As Kay undid Mom and Dad’s seatbelts and I opened the liftgate with my magic, I looked nervously at the banner.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked, shrugging out of the T-shirt and making sure the regalia that had stayed in place remarkably well was presentable.
“Aren’t you hungry, dear?” Mom asked.
“I could use a drink or something, and I’m a tad peckish myself!” Dad piped in. He had a hoof up to his head as though he was massaging a headache away.
“I’m not really hungry at all.” I frowned, then turned and smiled at everyone. “But if you are, I’m sure we can find something. I’m just worried about the kid swarm inside.”
“Aww, but I bet they’ll love you, Princess Candace!” Kay teased.
“It’s ‘Cadance,’ but I may have to start insisting on ‘Mi Amore Cadenza’ out of you.” I sniffed haughtily and regally began to move towards the mall, soon followed by my laughing family.
When we got to the food court, we could see the throng of children for the show. As I had feared, the stage was set up for the horrendous Calgary Stampede live show with badly off model mascot costumes. Sadly, I found myself drawn to the stage just to see how horrid it actually was. My bile fascination did not go unnoticed, however.
“Eljay, sweetheart?” Mom asked from the table she and Dad were seated at while Kay got their meals. “Are you all right?” Again, I was struck by the loving concern that seemed to be permanently etched in the blue mare’s face.
“Of course I am.” I soothed. “I’m just going to go see what the ruckus is about over there.” I nodded towards the stage.
“If you’re sure . . .”
“I’ll be fine, and it’s not like you’ll lose me in the crowd.” I said gently. With my mother placated, and Dad focused on where Kay was getting the food, I gracefully stepped over to the show.
It wasn’t quite as bad as I’d feared, at least musically. The poor dancers in the costumes very obviously had not had a lot of practice. Unfortunately, I’d crept a little too close to the throng of children.
A multitude of little girls shrieked out. “Princess Cadance!” Almost before I realized what was going on, I had been engulfed in a wave of adorable little girls who smelled strongly of vanilla.
I smiled softly down at them. “Hello, little ones! Is everypo- everyone enjoying themselves?” The response was overwhelmingly positive. I looked over to see the teachers and chaperones looking on in consternation, and one was drawing nearer. I spared a glance back at my family and they had terribly amused smiles on their faces as they sat at a table and ate.
“Okay, everyone! Can you give the Princess some space, please?” A harried looking teacher had drawn up. "I’m sure she has a very busy day planned.”
“Oh, don’t worry, ma’am, It’s fine.” I smiled down beatifically at the little darlings. “I have some time to spare, and I just love, love, love kids!” I looked around and gently nudged a few children away. “Sweetheart, can you let go, please? Somepony, er, someone else wants a turn.” Still smiling, I turned back to the teacher, my eyes scanning the throng. “I don’t know why they smell like vanilla though.”
My eyes lit on one little boy standing aside, with a smile on his face. He was wearing a T-shirt with the legend “Troublemaker” on it.
“Hey, little guy!” I called. “You can come on over, too. Ponies aren’t just for girls, you know!”
“Okay, Your Majesty!” The little guy’s grin widened, showing that his parents were due for an orthodontic nightmare. He scampered over and hopped up on one of the benches nearby. He reached out. and I lowered my head so he could touch my mane. Then, the little scamp swiped my crown.
“Now, kiddo that wasn’t very . . . nice?” I stood, flabbergasted, as the little boy twisted and stretched like taffy in slow motion, reminding me of the transformation scene in An American Werewolf in London. My little crown was also stretching in his hand, forming into a mirror, of all things. The stomach-churning spectacle had already scattered most of the children around me except for the four clinging to each leg.
My horror was only compounded when the transformation was complete. Standing before me was Discord in all his glory, looking into the mirror he’d made of my crown. The dirty so-and-so was admiring himself in the mirror while kids and parents and shoppers ran screaming, except for the foolish souls who had their cell phone glued to their eyes, taking pictures and videos of the confrontation, like my own sister, Kay. Seemingly satisfied, the chimeric creature turned to me and purred.
“Come on, now.” He paused for effect, gesturing up and down his form with his lion’s paw. “I’ve shown you mine. Now, show me yours . . .” He drew out the word suggestively. “ . . . Queenie.”
“What are you talking about?” I spread my wings and tried to shield the children still clinging to me from the monster before us.
“Oh?” The gleeful surprise on his face annoyed me greatly. “Oh! This is rich!” He skipped gaily over a few steps, swirling in a graceful arabesque. “You haven’t figured it out yet? You are truly, really as dense as her? maybe that is the deciding factor on who gets what pony, their level of oblivious ignorance." he chuckled with a sneer.
"I'm not going to let you harm these children." Said children clung tighter to my legs. As we spoke, my parents began to walk over, salads and Subway veggie sandwiches hanging in bags from their mouths.
"I’m not here for them. I don't mess with kids.” Discord scoffed dismissively. “They have so little grounding already, why bother? No... The real joy. The real kick and rush is when I take some grown Mare's life, and turn it upside down." With this, he turned the mirror to face me.
The horrified face reflected there had brilliant green eyes and a straight blue-green mane with ragged ends. The twisted horn and tiny fangs combined with the dark green coat showed me Chrysalis, the Changeling Queen.
"I wouldn't expect anything less but total protection of a food source, from an insect such as yourself." He continued.
"No. It's a trick. You're good at those." Edgy caution and fading hope warred within me.
"Oh come on, really?” His disdain was palpable, “You are dense. Tell me, if you are Cadance, why have you not once used your magic to cause love? No you’ve been feeding off it.” He chuckled gaily. “It really is quite amusing that you are so determined to hang onto a false identity." He leaned down to one of the kids, handing her the mirror and shooing her away. “Run along, little monkey. Higher life forms are talking.”
"I'm not . . . a monster." I said defensively. “Spreading love doesn't always have to be blatant little hearts everywhere!”
Discord nodded. "No more a monster than I am," he said with a wide smile, before vanishing and reappearing next to me. "Boo." with that, he grabbed hold of a feather on my wing, and pulled. It came out painlessly.
'Molting already?' I shook my head to clear it. Strong wafts of vanilla drew my attention to where Mom and Dad as the cakes are standing flabbergasted next to my new Royal Archivist, Kay. At that point I remembered I had Discord in my personal space.
"Gah!" I lit my horn, letting out a burst of offensive magic that shattered like sugar glass against Discord, raining green sparks across the floor. I swallowed dryly. ‘How the hay did I not notice my magic was green?’
"I need allies in this world, I can easily buy out corporations and make powerful changes in the key places, but I am alone from my world. Here I offer you a chance at something more than Armageddon. I offer you..." With a flourish, Discord pulled a golden apple from thin air, sparkling with energy. "Absolution. I can let you sleep. Let the queen take over until this is all over, you don't have to watch this world fall."
Mister Cake, no, Dad, leapt in to plant a buck to Discord's face. "Keep away from my so-daughter you bucking freak!"
Discord sighed as he was knocked back a few steps. "I am a freak? Just as I said a moment ago, no more than her. You may have realized you feel tired? Maybe a slight headache? She has been consuming your love with reckless abandon! I offer a way out for her."
My eyes widening in terror, I tackled him away from Discord. "Dad! that's basically Pony Satan! We've got to get out of here! Kay, take Mom!” I looked back over my shoulder to the teacher. “Ma'am, please, take the kids!"
“Pony Satan?” Dad gulped. “Pater noster qui es in caelis....”
‘God, it feels weird to hear Mister Cake’s voice chanting in Latin.’ I thought.
Mom pranced slightly, her worry very apparent. “What’s he talking about?” Kay scooped her up and began running to the parking lot. Dad paused, lips still moving in prayer, before following them.
Discord looked to my family running away with a bit of amusement before frowning. "I grow bored of this." He then grabbed hold of my horn and a green fire begins to seep from his hands across me. "I will have my ally, if I have to burn your mind from this body myself." he growled as he let go and the green fire started to spread.
"No, no, NO!" The flames flickered, revealing the holes in my legs as I ran towards the exit. I felt naked and exposed. Not because I was shapeshifting, but because I didn’t choose to. My wings were no longer covered in feathers. Nearing the doors, I frantically searched for my family.
I spotted the Draconequus right behind them by the entrance. "You would probably want to follow her." He said calmly. "You are her lunch and dinner, after all." he chuckled darkly.
Heart thundering in my chest, I skid to a stop just in front of them. Chrysalis’ sexy alto with a slight buzz spills from my lips. "Mom! Dad! Kay! Come on! I saw a church on the way in!" Green flame answered my will, forming a familiar bubble that enveloped us and twisted space until we landed a mile away, at St Jerome's Catholic Church.
Discord reappeared and laughed, walking slowly and ominously towards the church, causing some people to run in fear and a few to just look at him and shrug. "Oh, Chrysaliiiiis.” He sang out. “I need a queen for my chaotic empiiiiire!"
:: We should take the deal. :: Chrysalis’ voice echoed in my head, cementing the truth.
"What? No! He won't honor it.” I replied aloud. “Or not the way we'd want. He's the epitome of the Jerkass Genie."
"Sweetie?" Mrs. Cake asked.
"No, that's Mom." More vanilla filled my nose, with a hint of cardamom.
"Why are you talking to yourself?" Mom’s concern was palpable, and Dad was starting the Hail Marys.
Kay later told me that my expression then was one of the most haunting things she’d ever seen.
"She’s going crazy." Discord said from a disturbingly familiar chaise lounge next to them.
My family let out a terrified squeak and hid behind me, trying to keep me between them and Discord.
"No, I lied.” The Draconequus said, considering, his face lighting up. “She’s slowly discovering her inner bug pony! so much better, dont you think? At least she isnt going crazy." He rolled his eyes.
:: Why are you bothering to defend these three? :: Chrysalis buzzed. :: You can find more food anytime you like! :: Her certainty faded as I absently noted all the humans looking at both of us with fear. :: We . . . just need to figure out how to turn into these monkey things. ::
"Chryssy, can we hash this out when we don't have an existential crisis on our hooves!?" I asked in exasperation, stamping my riven hoof. Behind me, Dad was knocking on the church’s front door while my sister was documenting everything with her cell phone’s camera.
"Ooh, she's talking to her inner bug pony again, I can practically hear the buzzing." Discord chuckled, tossing the golden apple between his claws. As it spun, I absently noted the Greek letters etched across it.
"Kallistoi." Eljay-Chrysalis I try to snark. "I'm not exactly going to be winning that one from Paris unless I cheat.” Behind me, an old priest was opening the door and my family began to pass the threshold. “But yeah..." I looked down the aisle and indicated the crucifix over the altar. "I kind of have precedent for females taking apples from snakes. It's not a Good Idea."
Discord sighed from the entrance of the church. "Well then... I will have to come back for you. Chrysalis will be less... uptight." With a snap of his fingers, he vanished. leaving us standing in a small church, my world shattered.
I had to give the priest credit, though; he took a weeping bug pony having an existential crisis in his church with remarkable aplomb.