//------------------------------// // The Townsfolk Conundrum // Story: Dr Sheldon Cooper goes to Equestria // by Lancelot //------------------------------// Sheldon and the ponies picked up the pace and walked briskly through the center of Ponyville. It was certainly a busy day, merchants stood vigilantly by their stalls; selling their produce, whilst friends and young couples lay scattered around the park, enjoying a picnic and basking in the warm sun. Foals ran around gleefully, playing games and enjoying the remainder of their school holidays. Unfortunately for the group, the strange, tall, fur-less creature was drawing the eyes of everyone in the market and they had amassed a reasonably large crowd, which had started to curiously follow them from behind. Twilight motioned everyone to stop. "Alright girls, listen up. I was hoping to keep a low profile here but this isn't working out," she continued. "I'm gonna go back and address the crowd, you girls go on ahead and take the thoreticol phys-" "Theoretical physicist," corrected Sheldon. Twilight blushed. "Sorry, I wasn't sure how to pronounce it," she cleared her throat. "You girls take the theoretical physicist to the library and wait for me there. Don't open the door to anypony until I get back." "Okie dokie loki." Pinkie beamed. "You can count on us Twi," vowed Rainbow who then gave a military salute. Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy nodded in agreement. "Thank you so much girls. Good luck!" Twilight began trotting back towards the massive gathering of ponies that had been stalking them for the last few minutes. After Twilight was a safe distance away, Rainbow Dash immediately spun around and locked eyes with Sheldon. "Alright, here's the deal. I'm in charge here. I don't know what you are, but here in Equestria we follow orders. So when I order you to do something, you do it. No answering back either!" The remaining group of ponies, Sheldon included, were stunned at Rainbow's sudden outburst. Sheldon spoke up. "Excuse me? And what authority do you claim has been bestowed upon you within the last few seconds?" "Hey! I said no answering back!" barked Rainbow. "Listen, sugarcube. Why don't ya tone it down a little. Ah'm sure he didn't mean to insult ya back there. If ah woke up outside the Everfree forest ah would be a little jumpy too," intervened Applejack. Rainbow Dash's angered expression slowly faded and her face drooped down. "I guess you're right..." She turned to face Sheldon. "Look, I'm sorry okay? I just... I dunno. I guess I take things too seriously sometimes," Rainbow gave a weak smile, and it was obvious her apology was genuine. Applejack patted her friend on the back, before addressing Sheldon. "Now, haven't you got somethin' you would like to say to Rainbow here, too?" Sheldon contemplated the question for a few seconds before answering with a simple, "No." Applejack frowned. "What ah was tryin' to say was, don't 'cha think Rainbow here deserves an apology too." It was now Sheldon's turn to frown. "Why should I apologize? I was just a victim of circumstance. She was clearly threatened by my intelligence and too stupid to realize that's why she hated me." "Wow. You're a real jerk you know that?" Rainbow Dash grunted. "See, I told you," Sheldon proclaimed. "My presence is making her feel insecure." Applejack didn't appreciate Sheldon's attitude or his snide remarks about her friend. But with nopony else daring to question the tall, unfamiliar creature, she decided to speak up. "Right mister! You shut yer trap and apologize to Rainbow this instant!" Sheldon's gaze bounced between Rainbow and Applejack rapidly, and his face went ashen. Sheldon had been scolded by his mother many times during his childhood, though usually it was about Sheldon refusing to say the lord's prayer before eating at the dinner table. "But I don't wanna..." pouted Sheldon, as he stared at the ground. "Okay. Ah'm gonna count to three." Sheldon remained quiet. "ONE." Sheldon winced. He was powerless to stop the 'Counting Game' his mother had utilized against him many times before. "TWO." "THR-" "Fine, fine! I'll apologize," stammered Sheldon, urgently. Sheldon turned towards Rainbow Dash. "Sorry..." he quietly mumbled. "Ah can't hear you." "SORRY RAINBOW DASH," conceded Sheldon, as he rolled his eyes and feigned a yawn. "That's better, and ah I feel mighty proud of ya fer doin' it," praised Applejack, oblivious to the sarcasm. Sheldon smiled in return. "Thanks mom." The group continued their trek to the library. The re-purposed tree house stood out like a sore thumb among the various houses and shops that circled it's exterior. A small, weathered notice stood idly next to the entrance. It depicted a book, followed by an arrow, pointing to the front door. Speaking of the front door, it was small. Too small. An inconvenience, noticed by Sheldon almost immediately. "Dear lord, this must be what Gandalf felt like in the Shire," Sheldon bemused to himself. "Who," replied an Owl, perched up on one of the Library's branches. Sheldon looked up and eyeballed the creature. "Gandalf, from The Lord of the Rings." "Who." "Gandalf the Grey? Tharkun? Mithrandir? You know, from The Lord of the Rings series." "Who." Sheldon's face contorted as he grimaced at the Owl. "Are you deliberately trying to provoke me?" "Who." "Bird, you are playing with forces beyond your ken," threatened Sheldon. "Are you seriously starting an argument with Owlicious?" giggled Rainbow Dash, as she strutted past towards the door. "Wow, you're such a loser." "Takes one to know one," retorted Sheldon, almost immediately. "Alright, settle down you two," ordered Applejack. Both Sheldon and Rainbow Dash briefly looked back to acknowledge Applejack's command, and stood by the Library's entrance in silence. Applejack tried her best to hide the grin, present on her face. Guess Ah'm better at this whole 'mom' thing than Ah thought Applejack's drastic change in attitude hadn't gone unnoticed, however. "And what is it, you're so happy about all of a sudden, dear?" asked Rarity. "Nothin'..." Applejack may be the element of honesty, but she wasn't prepared to reveal she had been enjoying this a lot more than she'd been letting on. * * * "Please! Everypony, calm down!" Twilight pleaded to the roaring crowd. What began as a harmless group of curious ponies, had quickly evolved into a full-blown riot. Mares and Stallions of different race, color and age; came together, united by their one shared goal: The strange creature. The crowd's agitator remained at the back, shouting words of encouragement into her megaphone. "SHE'S TRYING TO HIDE THE HUMAN FROM US," yelled the mint colored unicorn. "IT'S ALL ONE BIG CONSPIRACY DEVISED BY CELESTIA!" The crowd chanted louder and continued to pound against the purple colored force-field, Twilight had been forced to cast. "Please! Just listen to me! I promise if you calm down I will remove the shield," she begged. The crowd disregarded Twilight's pleas' and persisted their revolt, demanding to see the alien creature. Twilight was exhausted. She was down to her last slither of magical energy and she knew the force-field would break any second now. In one last valiant effort to halt the crowd she focused all of her remaining magical energy into one spell. The shield dissolved and the crowd began to charge forward when a massive blinding light expelled from Twilight's horn, disorientating anyone who dared to look in her general direction. With the crowd temporarily immobilized, Twilight did the only thing she could. She ran. She ran as fast as her hooves would take her. * * * Sheldon had settled in nicely at the library. He had grabbed a chair from the corner and positioned it in a very specific space in the middle of the room, which he now referred to as 'My spot'. He had also developed an unusual habit of making odd references that nobody understands, whenever Spike walks past. "Darling, it's just occurred to me! We haven't been properly introduced," recalled Rarity. Sheldon looked up from the book he was reading. "Well given the circumstances of me being here at all, I figured introductions weren't really necessary. Besides, you should all know me by default anyway." "Darling, that's utter nonsense. Here let me begin. My name is Rarity," she continued. "And who do I owe the pleasure?" Sheldon sighed. He doesn't even get harassed this much when he's actually awake. "Fine, my name is Dr Sheldon Cooper." Rarity gasped. "Doctor you say? Oh my, what a prestigious profession. What position do you hold? Nurse Redheart is always looking for more help at the clinic," she suggested. Sheldon groaned. "Dear lord, you should know by now. Do you need me to spell it out for you? I'm a theoretical physicist." "Oh..." Rarity was taken aback. "Yes... of course... how foolish of me." The rest of the group exchanged subtle quizzical glances before Rarity asked the question that was on everyone's mind. "So... um... Out of curiosity. What is your species, dear?" Sheldon laid his book, down onto is lap and stared directly at Rarity. "I'm a Platypus." An awkward silence shrouded the room. Nobody knew if he was serious, or how to respond. "BAZINGA!" Fluttershy screamed at the sudden surprise and fell backwards on her rump. "Fluttershy? What's going on down there?" Spike appeared above the staircase. "How's the gem hunt going, Spyro?" Sheldon snickered. "Uh, fine. Thanks for asking..." Spike slowly backed away and disappeared upstairs. Sheldon returned to his reading, and the room fell mute. The relatively peaceful atmosphere didn't last long however, as the muffled hoof-steps of an injured pony could be heard approaching the entrance. Suddenly, without any forewarning, the library door swung open violently, revealing an exhausted and barely conscious unicorn. "Twilight!?" gasped Rainbow Dash. Twilight stumbled a few feet forwards before collapsing in the center of the room.