Over a year later…
Canterlot. A proud monument to everything rich and classy, where the ponies who walked its streets were regal and dignified. There was not one pony that didn’t know the latest fashion or the next big trend that would appear. They knew about all the hottest places in the royal capital and who was who, because here, looks and status meant everything. Those who were tacky or poor were doomed to the lives of an outcast.
Then there was Canterlot Castle, a beacon of democracy, magic, and of course, friendship. The tall marble walls had stood strong and proud over the millennia since it was built. It was home to the great princesses Celestia and Luna, who had ruled Equestria with kindness and fairness over the ages.
But there was a rumour running through the fair city of Canterlot, a rumour that could change Canterlot, maybe even all of Equestria, forever.
“Attention, my little ponies,” announced Princess Celestia. She and her sister were standing in the front courtyard of Canterlot Castle behind a podium. The courtyard was crowded with ponies from the EQD, the local news press. They all had notepads drawn and cameras at the ready, prepared to write down any story and take a picture at any time. “In exactly seven days, it will mark the second millennium of my Equestrian rule, and I am proud to say that they have been years of peace and prosperity.”
“We have had troubles,” said Luna, speaking into her own microphone. “We will not lie. Nightmare Moon, Discord… All tragedies that we have had to face and rise up against.”
“But while there is darkness, there will always be a light to fight back,” Celestia smiled. “And it's with the brave and selfless acts of our hero, the savior of Equestria, and the sole wielder of the Elements of Harmony that we are able to live without fear this day. Our noble nephew, Prince Blueblood!”
There was an enormous roar of applause as the white unicorn cockily trotted up from behind the velvet curtain that concealed the back of the stage. There were loud fireworks as the morning sky was lit up in a flurry of colourful fires and sparkles. He pompously grinned at the crowd of ponies, flashing his bleached smile and flipped his blonde mane, showing off his pampered royal features and his most prized possession: the multi-coloured necklace, adjourned with six shining jewels, the Elements of Harmony.
“Thank you!” Blueblood smugly smiled, turning so the cameras could catch his good side, not like he thought he had one. He adored the limelight, the fame, the glory…the mares. All this attention went straight to his head, and he loved every last second of it. “It’s always a pleasure to address the little ponies; it’s not every day you get to be blessed with the presence of true greatness! So please, don’t feel as if you mustn’t hold your breath.”
“Yes,” muttered Celestia under her breath. "Pity Humility wasn’t an Element.” She quickly put up a smile. “My nephew has truly been a loyal soldier to Equestria and her interests, and for that, we all thank him.”
There were more cheering and photographs as Blueblood struck another regal pose for the cameras.
“And we cannot forget our beloved niece Cadence,” said Luna. “For it was her love that forced back the changeling hordes, and sent Queen Chrysalis deep into the far off plains of the Wicked Woods. She also worked valiantly to stop and defeat King Sombra, blasting his soul back into the shadows on several occasions.”
More fireworks went off as Princess Cadence emerged from the curtains. She, along with her loving husband Shining Armour, both waved at the cheering ponies.
“Thank you all,” smiled Cadence, holding the hoof of her husband. “It’s always nice to see our little ponies.”
Blueblood rolled his eyes. “Suck up."
“Cadence, Blueblood,” said Celestia, looking at both of them. “My most wonderful of nieces and bravest of nephews. You two are the closest that I have had to children, and your aunt Luna’s and my love for both of you is undying…” She turned back to the crowd. “Which is why next week, in the anniversary of my second thousandth, I will be announcing my leave of power.”
There was instantaneous rabble within the crowd. Had the princess actually announced her retirement? Cameras were flashing and pencils were scribbling down the news as fast as lightning.
“Yes,” smiled the princess of the sun. “It has been long overbue that I give myself a little…vacation.”
“We will both be going on an extended leave to the Crystal Empire for our retirement,” said Luna. “But we are quite aware that we will certainly not leave Equestria without a ruler.”
“Which is why after much discussion, me and my sister have come to an agreement as to who shall succeed us prior to our retirement.”
This is it! thought Blueblood as he grinned wickedly. The moment had finally arrived for his aunties to finally retire and give control over to a different pony. Equestria needed a pony that was dashing, good looking, beautiful, handsome, sexy, and of course, drop dead gorgeous. A pony that was powerful, strong, and of course, drop dead gorgeous, and he just so happened to be all those things, along with being drop dead gorgeous.
“It is with great pride that I, Princess Celestia…”
This is it!
“Ruler of the sun and skies…”
This is it!
“Have decided to retire my throne and give it to…”
THIS IS IT!!!!
“My loving niece, Princess Cadence!”
“YEEEESSSSSSS!!!!” screamed Blueblood at the top of his lungs, completely ignorant to the fact that his name was not called. “It’s about freaking time, too!”
His aunt blinked surprisingly; she had not expected her nephew to take her decision with such enthusiasm. “Really? You are happy with our choice?” she asked.
“Of course!” he smiled smugly. “I’ve been waiting for this day for years!”
“Well, we are glad then,” smiled Luna, “We would have thought you would have reacted…less pleasantly.”
“Why would I act like that, auntie?” asked the regal white unicorn. “This is the happiest day of my life!”
He ignorantly pushed passed his Aunt Celestia, standing up on the podium, everypony in the audience staring at the unknowing Prince.
“Citizens of Equestria!” he screamed, his voice raising over the masses. “It is both an honour and a privilege for you to have me as your new ruler!”
“Huh?” wondered Celestia.
“Now, as your new supreme ruler of all ponykind, I have a few changes that I will make—“
“Umm, Blueblood—“
“First and foremost, I shall order the immediate structure of a fifty foot tall golden statue built in my glory—“
“Blueblood—“
“Of course, I’ll have to triple taxes, but in the end I think it will be worth my while—“
“NEPHEW!” snapped Celestia, using her royal Canterlotian voice, a voice she had not used in many centuries.
“Yes auntie?” asked the prince, looking away from the crowd and to his aunt and princess. Celestia leaned in and whispered something into his ear, causing his eyes to contract, and his smile to drop. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M NOT KING?!!?”
“I mean, we will passing on the ruling duties to Cadence and Shining Armour.”
“WHAT!?”
“You’re welcome to still live in the castle with us cousin,” said Princess Cadence, “It’ll be like nothing ever changed for you.”
“But why her?!” whined Blueblood, stomping his hooves on the ground like an enraged child. “Why choose her over me?! I’m the wielder of the Elements of freaking Harmony!”
“True as that may be, you are ill suited for the throne,” sighed the sun princess. “You lack the makings of a true and just ruler.”
“That’s not fair!” complained Blueblood. “I wanted to be king!”
“Please, Blueblood,” gulped Celestia. “You’re making a scene. Everypony is watching…”
The tantrum-fuelled pony stopped to look around his surrounding, every pony from the crowd had fallen silent, and every camera was pointed at him. The prince's face suddenly turned red as he stared directly into one of the cameras.
“Oh, like I care what the peons think of me!” he shouted, storming off the stage and disappearing behind the curtains. “Stupid aunt… Making Cadence queen over me?” he spat his cousin’s name. “I deserve to be queen—I mean king! I deserve to be king…”
*****
“It’s not fair! It’s not fair! It’s not FAIR!!” raged Blueblood. The white stallion prince had fled that awful press conference, and had proceeded to head back into the castle and into his room in the west wing. “Tell me Consort, do you think that I would be a great king?”
“Of course, my lord,” said the red-coated unicorn Consort, who had been Blueblood’s butler when he was just a colt, and later grew to become his advisor. “You would have made a fine King of Equestria.”
“I know, right?” grumbled Blueblood. “It is my birthright… No, my solemn duty for the peons to bask in my glory!”
“Such a loss…” muttered Consort sarcastically. “Well, perhaps when Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is old and grey, or simply unable to rule...”
“That will take too long, you idiot,” groaned Blueblood as he jumped on his bed, lying in a heap of his own self-pity. “I could never outlive an alicorn. I fear…” He looked away histrionically. “I have limited time in this world,” he said, a melodramatic tear falling from his face. “I could have been a much better alicorn than Cadence.”
“You are overreacting, sire,” said the red-coated servant. “Is it really so bad that you were not picked? Now, you can live the rest of your life as it was: rich and carefree, with your usual line of…‘courtesans’ as I prefer to call them, my lord.”
“Ugh, I don’t want the same old things over and over again,” mumbled the young prince. “I want to be king, I want a change, an enrichment!”
“To the lives of your subjects?” asked Consort.
“Don’t be such an imprudent slug. I meant to my own life,” grinned Blueblood as he sat up on his bed. “And it will all be great when I’m king….”
I’m strong, handsome, and regal
Fantastic, by any means
And to rule over Equestria
Is the core of all my dreams.
Unlike my dear old auntie
Who ruled all fancy free
I shall imply, a different law
A law more befitting of me!
Prince Blueblood sprung from the bed, new life in his step.
When I’m king I’ll have the gold,
Such a sight it will behold,
Every penny, bit, and dime
If it’s shiny, then it’s mine!
And I’ll do my very best
To make the average pony jest
As I make them every morning
To wake up to my own glory!
Dot the stars with my own name
To do anything else is just insane.
When I’m king, I’ll get my heart's desire
“And what is that, my sire?”
Everything in this world that isn’t mine!
“But sir, I must ask you…how will you get all of this? You are, after all, not king.”
“I don’t know…” muttered Blueblood. “I could always kill her.”
“That…seems a little dark, considering the situation, and also highly unlikely that you will succeed and not get caught,” said Consort.
“Then what do you suggest?!” barked the prince. “Mr. I-know-everything-about-everything?”
“Well…” thought the red pony servant. “Perhaps if we were to look at what made Cadence a more desirable choice, we may be able to see why Celestia picked her over you, my lord.”
“A brilliant idea!” Blueblood smiled. “I’m glad I came up with it! But, I’m superior in every way imaginable…”
“True of course, Prince Blueblood…” droned Consort. “Except that you’re stupid, ignorant, incompetent, mean, greedy, lustful, lazy, short-tempered, selfish, moody, and overall unpleasant to be around.”
“I got it!” shouted the white stallion. “The one thing that she has that I don’t have is a husband! So I must get one as well!”
“A husband?”
“Yes—I mean NO!!” shuddered the young prince. “I must have a wife, a lower class and peon of a spouse, just like what my wretched cousin has in that filthy Shining Armour.”
“Sire, I don’t think Shining was lower class—“
“Pack my bags, Consort!” announced Blueblood, as he went staring out the window. “It pains me to say it, but I must marry if I am to become king.”
“Very well sire,” nodded Consort, “I’ll have your belongings packed within the hour.”
“Excellent,” he grinned as he gazed out on the landscape. “Somewhere out there is a very lucky mare just ripe for the picking.”
“Where shall we start our search?”
“What’s the nearest cesspool of poverty and lower-class simpletons?” asked Blueblood.
“If you mean what I think you mean, then I would say Ponyville. It’s a small little village only a day away. That is, of course, if you plan to travel by train.”
“Set up my private car, and have it hooked to the next train leading to this ‘Ponyville’ dive,” he laughed. “I’m sure I’ll find a few mares willing to jump on my saddle, and maybe even a wife too!”
“Hilarious, as always sire,” said the servant pony bluntly.
“Now leave,” ordered Blueblood. “I wish to be alone for a moment.”
Consort bowed and obeyed, leaving the room and the young prince alone.
“And when I find you…my little wife,” he said, “when I am king, you will get a one way honeymoon to the royal dungeons!” He laughed. “As if I would ever share Equestria when I’m king!”
Because when I’m king, it will be divine!
When I’m king, Equestria
Will
Be
MINE!!