//------------------------------// // Boot Camp // Story: Returning Survivor // by Itchy //------------------------------// Mecha was sitting down at a table with Dolosus, talking over the legality of a couple of things. “Are you sure that's legal?” he asked, looking disheartened. “Sorry, but it is,” Dolosus replied. “When they granted you the title of baron, it was immediate. You had no chance to turn it down.” “Pride's mirror...” Mecha groaned out, leaning back in his chair, “I'm a noble... I hate nobles!” Chuckling, Dolosus said, “It does offer you a unique avenue for revenge though.” Blinking, Mecha looked up, and asked, “It does?” With a grin, Dolosus passed a page over to Mecha, who looked it over, before grinning himself. “Oh, now that I can work with...” LINEBREAKER Mecha was at the market square, gathering up the last of the groceries he'd be leaving Sugary Spice while he was dealing with his revenge. Looking over, he spotted Fluttershy, and frowned when he heard the stall owner trying to rip her off. Walking over, Mecha got up on his rear legs, converting his mechanical leg into a sword, before slamming it down on the stall's shelf, causing Fluttershy to eep. Staring straight into the owner's eyes, Mecha asked, “Now, you aren't really asking for ten bits for that small, insignificant cheery, are you?” The stall owner gulped, before shaking his head. “No, you weren't,” Mecha continued. “After all, it's been such a long day, and nopony else has wanted it yet... in fact you should feel honored that Fluttershy here decided to even grace you with her presence at this simple, shoddy stall, let alone buy that cheery off you! I know you'd actually meant to give her this cheery for free sense you'll be unable to sell it to anypony, but she's so kind-hearted that she's giving you a bit for this otherwise worthless cheery... so what do you say...?” The stall owner gulped, before turning to Fluttershy and saying, “T-t-thank you m-m-ma'am for gracing my humble stall w-w-with your p-p-presence...” Smiling, Mecha dislodged his sword and put it away, before walking away with Fluttershy. “Yes... well... that's another way to assert yourself...” Rarity said. “Are you kidding me! That was a super-scary way to assert yourself!” Pinkie Pie said, “I thought he was going to kill that pony!” Shaking his head, Mecha replied, “Comes from haggling with demons over water... only thing they'd respond to is force.” Shaking her head, Rarity replied, “That makes sense... they are nothing more than a bunch of brutes.” Snorting, Mecha replied, “That's giving them too much credit.” Looking over at Fluttershy, Mecha told her, “Look, if you want some assertiveness or confidence coaching, talk to me, got it? I happen to know a few methods that really help,” before making his way home. Approaching his house, Mecha blinked, not believing what he saw. Standing on his front door, knocking on it, was his old Drill Sargent! Smiling, Mecha called out, saying, “Iron Will, you old bull you! What are you doing here!” The big Minotaur turned around, before roaring out, “Mecha! It is so good to see a student of Iron Will's that survived!” Laughing, Mecha unlocked his door, and ushered Iron Will in. “So what brings the strictest Drill Sargent in Equestria to my door?” Mecha asked, putting his food away. “Iron Will is not a Drill Sargent anymore,” Iron Will replied. “Iron Will is now a motivational speaker for ponies, and was wondering if you'd be willing to join Iron Will in his next presentation?” Shaking his head, Mecha replied, “I'd normally say yes in a heart beat, but I've got plans for the next couple of weeks. But since you're here... would you mind if I borrowed your training fields in Canterlot?” With a confused look on his face, Iron will replied, “Iron Will agrees to this, but wishes to know why.” Nodding his head, Mecha replied, “Simple... I plan on completing your dream of having the princesses get in shape via the gauntlets from hell...” Eyes widening, Iron Will grinned, before asking, “Iron Will has changed his mind, he'll give a motivational speech later. Instead, Iron Will wishes to watch you whip those lazy flanks into shape!” Laughing, Mecha heard a knocking at his door, before going over and opening it. Fluttershy was standing there, shaking lightly. “Yes? Can I help you?” Mecha asked. “Um... yes...” Fluttershy mumbled. “I... would like to accept your offer... that is... if it's still available...” Nodding his head, Mecha told her, “Pack what you need for a two week trip, and meet me at the train station in an hour.” Seeing her nod in affirmation, Mecha walked back into his kitchen, and said to Iron Will, “I'm assuming you're ready to go, so let me just make sure Cheerilee is alright with watching Sugary Spice for a couple of weeks and grab the last victi- I mean trainee, and I'll see you at the station.” Walking out the door, Mecha made his way to the one place he'd know his target would be at- the library. Kicking down the door, Mecha watched as Twilight ran down the stairs. “Mecha, what the hay was that for!” “I'm evoking Equestrian law PFT section NT subsection SI, pack your bags for two weeks and meet me at the train station in an hour,” Mecha told her. Blinking, Twilight’s eyes went wide, as she stuttered out, “Law PFT-NT-SI? Are you serious?” “As Wrath,” Mecha replied, giving her a hard stare. “Which means, if you're not there, I will drag you along.” Gulping, Twilight yelled out, “SPIKE!” as she rushed to get packed. Smirking, Mecha made his way back home, to pack the last of his tools before he headed towards Cheerilee’s house. LINEBREAKER Mecha was heading towards the palace, a nervous Twilight, confused Fluttershy, and amused Iron Will following him. Stopping at the gates, he took a moment to look at the gate guards, and sure enough, they were still fakes. With an evil grin on his face, he whipped out a marker and doodled all over their faces, before continuing into the palace, ignoring Twilight's look of horror. “What, they're fake!” Mecha said, kicking the palace doors open. Walking forward, Mecha brushed past everypony, and made his way into the dinning room, where he spotted Celestia and Luna, both enjoying their dinner. “Ah, Mecha, what a pleasant surprise!” Luna said, taking a sip from a bottle of moonshine, “What are you doing here?” Stepping forward, Mecha suddenly brought out a hammer, and brought it down on the cake Celestia was eating. “I'm invoking law PFT-NT,” he said, before his mechanical leg shifted into it's gun form, and a loud BANG rang out, the bottle of moonshine in Luna's grasp breaking as he shot it. “On both of you.” Celestia’s eyes went wide, as she suddenly turned and leapt out the window, shattering the glass. “Oh, it's going to be like that eh?” Mecha said, running towards the broken window. “I LOVE IT WHEN THEY RUN!” Luna watched her friend run out the broken window, before turning to Twilight, and let out a sigh, saying, “He invoked subsection SI as well, didn't he?” Twilight nodded her head sullenly, much to Fluttershy's confusion. “Um... not to be a bother, but what are you talking about?” Sighing, Twilight replied with, “A law that only Mecha would be willing to use now...” LINEBREAKER Celestia was flying low and fast, making her way towards the Mecha bunker. There was no way she'd submit herself PFT again- last time she was denied cake for a month! Making a sharp turn, she had to turn straight upwards when an explosion occurred right were she was flying to. Mecha grinned, watching Celestia fly up. She probably thought that she could escape him by flying high... but he was prepared for that. Leaping forward, Mecha threw a concussion grenade below him, explosion lifting him high enough for him to through several of his newest creations towards Celestia, before he landed in mid-run. The newest grenades went off, sending a goo towards Celestia, which she made a sharp dive to avoid. Licking his lips, Mecha surged forward, before tossing more grenades in front of Celestia, causing her to turn around and stay inside the town's limits. Below, all the citizens in Canterlot were watching in awe as Celestia and Mecha did mock-combat... or at least that's what they thought as Mecha released a black wave that forced Celestia closer to the rooftops. Eyes widening, crowds formed as they ran though town, attempting to follow their princess and the crazy blacksmith. Mecha grinned when he finally brought Celestia down to rooftop height, forcing her to fly around various chimneys and rooftop decorations, all of which he was using to increase his speed by leaping off them. Closing the distance, Mecha reached into his saddlebags for another goo grenade, only to frown when he realized that he was out. Grabbing the rope in his pack, Mecha decided it was time to put all those lasso lessons that Honey Crisp had put him and Big Macintosh through to good use. Pulling out the rope, Mecha quickly formed a lasso, and repeated the action before swinging the two at his side, eyes never leaving Celestia's form. Celestia, realizing that the explosions had stopped, took a look behind her, before her eyes widened, and she looked back in front of her, about to try and fly faster... only for Mecha to swing his legs, causing the lassos to move forward and latch onto her rear legs. Jerking at the sudden pull, Celestia tried to shake him off by turning, but Mecha just leapt off the side of a chimney, before pulling out another rope. Celestia continued to try and throw Mecha off with various acrobatic moves, only to fail as more and more lassos attached themselves to her, with the impromptu chase coming to an end when Mecha finally got one around one of her wings, causing her to crash. The crowd on the ground cheered when the “show” came to an end, ignoring Mecha as he hogtied Celestia, and started dragging her back towards the palace. “You know, that's some of the most fun I've had in a while,” Mecha said, as they went through the gates. “Unfortunately for you, it confirmed the need for the PFT. After all, that barely lasted ten minutes and you're sweating like a pig in the sun!” Eye twitching, Celestia's response was cut off when they entered the dinning room, and Mecha threw her next to Luna. “Now before you get any ideas about running again,” Mecha said, “Or recall that you're an alicorn and thus have magic as well as flight, I'd like you to see this.” Reaching into his saddlebag, he pulled out tow books, one an extremely dark blue, the other a bright white, with a hint of pink. Eyes widening, Luna yelled out, “How did you get our diaries!” Chuckling evilly, Mecha replied, “Quite simply actually. I can spend up to three days on one heist... and no guard patrol can catch somepony who is willing to wait hours to move through each checkpoint.” Celestia's face fell, before she said, “We really need to Mecha proof the palace...” Snorting, Mecha put the diaries away, before turning around and dragging Celestia behind him. “Follow me, and let's get started. Unlike you three, Fluttershy actually wants to be here.” LINEBREAKER Twilight's, Luna's, and Celestia's hearts all dropped as they stared at the obstacle course in front of them. Fluttershy was hiding behind them, shaking in fear at the course, while Iron Will was laughing at them. The course started of easily enough, standard wall climb... with the wall close to a hundred feet high. After that was a tire field... with mines laid in various tires, and bear traps in others. Next was a river filled with piranhas, sharks, and sting rays with small wooden steps about five feet apart breaking the surface. Finally came an open stretch of land... that had several ballistas pointing towards it, all prepped to shoot at a moment's notice. “Welcome to the boot camp from hell's obstacle course...” Mecha said, smiling, “Level one.” Paling, Luna asked, “Level one?” “Eeyup,” Mecha replied, nodding. “Level one. Basic soldiers need to pass level one before they're fit for duty... specialty troops need to pass level two... and scouts, due to the nature of our duty, need to pass level three.” Gulping, Twilight asked, “Do we have to pass all three?” Laughing, Mecha replied, “Goodness no! Quite frankly, I'd be impressed if you actually passed level one. No, you just need to complete levels one and two. Celestia and Luna, on the other hoof, need to pass level one. And Fluttershy? You only need to complete level one. After all, after you complete that, you'll find most other obstacles in life much... much... less intimidating.” Nodding her head, Fluttershy made her way towards the barracks where they'd be staying until they completed boot camp. LINEBREAKER Mecha was laying back in a chair, reading in Luna's diary. Hey, he had it, why not? As it was, his four vict- trainees, were trying to overcome the wall. “Come on ladies, I had to do this in under three minutes!” he shouted out, turning a page. Skimming through it, Mecha blinked, before dog-earring the page. This... could be highly useful for later. Setting the diary down, Mecha looked over the mares who were trying... and failing... to get over the wall. In fact... THUD! There they went, collapsing and getting sweat all over his dirt. Sighing, Mecha said, “Okay... so you can't even get past the wall... that means we'll have to double tomorrow's work out in hopes of getting you in shape. Go ahead and hit the showers!” Nodding their heads, the four mares dragged themselves to the showers, leaving Iron Will and Mecha alone. “Iron Will must say... that performance was pathetic,” the former Drill Sargent said. “I know... and to think, I get to repeat this until they finish!” Mecha replied, an evil grin upon his face. “Just think... by the end of this, I'll either be stripped of my title of baron or have gotten to have tortured them for a month or two!” Iron Will stared at Mecha, before asking, “You really don't want to be a noble, do you?” Crazed look in his eye, Mecha replied with, “No, no I don't.” LINEBREAKER The next morning, at dawn, saw the four mares lined up in front of Mecha, who was eying each of them. “Yesterday's performance... was pathetic,” he started, causing the mares to flinch. “I can pass level three in the time it took you to fail the first obstacle! So here's what we're going to do. We're going to whip you into shape the old fashioned way! From now on, you'll start off your day with 100 push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups, before moving onto a ten mile run, which you'll finish with a one mile swim. Any questions?” Luna looked around, before gulping and raising her hoof. Mecha signaled her to speak, and she asked, “What if we don't know how to swim?” Mecha blinked, before asking, “You're kidding, right?” Seeing Luna shake her head, Mecha's jaw dropped. “You... don't know how to swim. One of THE most basic and important skills in life... and you don't know it. Lucifer's lake bed! What else, does Celestia not know how to read a map!?!” Seeing Celestia's blushing face, Mecha blinked, before face-hoofing. “Okay then... Luna, you'll just have to add on an extra five miles to the run then... Now get to work!” As the four mares started their workout, Mecha sat down on his chair from earlier, shaking his head into his hooves. “Doesn't know how to swim... And how can Celestia rule for a thousand years without learning how to read a map!” he muttered to himself. Sighing, Mecha allowed Iron Will to watch over the mares, before picking up Celestia's diary, and randomly opening it. Reading from the top, Mecha got about halfway through the page before his eyes went wide. Picking up Luna's diary, Mecha compared the ear-marked page in Luna's diary to the page he was reading from Celestia's. After about three minutes of making sure he wasn't seeing things, Mecha called Iron Will over. “Take a look at this,” he said, pushing the diary's towards the minotaur. “And tell me I'm seeing things.” Iron Will raised an eyebrow as he walked over, and read the two pages. Snorting, Iron Will said, “Iron Will won't lie... he's seeing things too.” Blinking, Mecha looked between the diaries and the two princesses, saying, “Who'd have thought they'd both be interested in the same pony...?” “Not Iron Will,” Iron Will replied. “Especially not that pony...” THUMP! Their attention was drawn when the mares collapsed... about halfway through their sit-ups. Blinking, Mecha mumbled, “We've got a long way to go...” LINEBREAKER Mecha had gathered the mares up at dawn once more, as well as several other ponies, much to their surprise. And Mecha's as well. Walking up to one, Mecha asked, “What are you doing here?” The pony snapped to attention, saluting Mecha, before replying, “Captain Solaris sent me here for proper training sir! He said that you'd know the proper training required for a member of the night guard sir!” Nodding his head, Mecha pointed at the next pony in line, and asked, “What about you? You're in a different uniform, so why are you here?” Repeating the actions of the previous pony, this one replied, “Captain Shining Armor wished to have one of his men observe the training in case it could be implemented into the day guards training, and I figured it would be best to observe by participation sir!” Mecha sighed, before allowing the two guards to relax. Turning to the small group next to them, Mecha raised an eyebrow, before asking, “And what are you doing here? I know for a fact you aren't in either of the guards.” An Earth Pony stepped forward, and told him, “We wished to join in the training in order to get into better shape. After all, if our princesses our willing to subject themselves to this, than we should be willing to as well!” Mecha blinked, before trotting over to Iron Will. “What do you think?” Iron Will grunted, before looking over the ponies gathered, and replied, “Iron Will thinks... that you should let them join. Might even motivate our current trainees.” Nodding his head, Mecha walked back over to the new trainees, when the stadium seating nearby caught his eye. Well, to be more exact, the crowd filled, newly built stadium seating. Blinking, Mecha shook his head. Of course there was going to be ponies who wanted to watch their princesses train. Turning back to face the willing trainees, Mecha said to them, “Alright, listen up! You're allowed to join in, but no complaining is allowed! If I say climb, you climb, no flying, no teleporting, only climbing! If I say swim, you ask which river! Finally, once you start, you can't stop until you complete level one of the course! Understood!” “Sir yes sir!” replied the group, all saluting to him. Nodding his head, he directed them to Iron Will for their warm-ups, while he walked over to the stadium seating. Looking around, he pointed at a random pegasus, and said, “You, I need a favor. Could you run this to the editor of Canterlot Confidential?” as he held out a letter. With a quick nod, the pegasus took the letter and flew off. Turning back to the group of ponies he was responsible for whipping into shape, Mecha took a deep breath, before yelling out, “ENOUGH OF THE EASY STUFF! TIME FOR LEVEL ONE!” LINEBREAKER It was dawn once more, and the group to be trained had grown once more. Shaking his head, Mecha walked towards them, only to be stopped when a unicorn teleported onto the field and handed him a letter, before teleporting away. Shrugging his shoulders, Mecha opened up the letter and read it, before his eyes went wide. “Iron Will! Get your Wrath forsaken flank over here!” he yelled out, shaking slightly. Iron Will rushed over, asking, “What do you need Iron Will for?” Handing him the letter, Mecha said, “The situation has changed... you know what this calls for...” Reading the letter, Iron Will's eyes went wide, before asking, “You don't mean...” “Yeah,” Mecha replied. “I do.” Walking towards the group, Mecha yelled out, “Ten-hut!” causing the ponies to all hustle into formation. “Listen up and listen well,” Mecha started, pacing in front of his original trainees. “The situation has changed. Originally, this training was planned to take a month and a half to two months...” he said, stopping in front of Celestia and Luna, “But your royal duties require that we finish in two weeks.” This caused gasps and mummers to spread from not just the trainees, but the ponies watching as well. “Now then, I can't allow you to just up and go do your duties without completing you training, so we're going to step it up.” Gulping nervously, Celestia asked, “How are we going to be doing that exactly?” An evil grin made its way onto Mecha's face, who said, “By using the only training method that can compress two months of training into two weeks. Music montage training.” Everyponies' eyes went wide, and before anypony could say a thing, Iron Will set down a speaker, and hit play. The moment the music started, everypony snapped to attention, facing Mecha, who was lightly nodding his head, before he started to sing; “Let's get down to business To achieve our goals. Did they send me fillies When I asked for mares?” At this point, the trainees realized what was happening as they started training... with no control over their actual actions. Sighing, they resigned themselves to the montage, and continued on. “You're the saddest bunch I ever met But you can bet before we're through Princess, I'll make a mare Out of you.” “Tranquil as a forest But on fire within. Once you find your center You are sure to win.” Here the trainees realized why this was the most effective method to train with... as they couldn't stop. Their muscles burned, their breath short, and heartbeat at an unhealthy high rate, yet they didn't stop. “You're a spineless, pale pathetic lot And you haven't got a clue. Somehow I'll make a mare Out of you.” Luna: I'm never gonna catch my breath Celestia: Say goodbye to those who knew me Fluttershy: Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym Iron Will: This guy's got them scared to death Twilight: Hope she doesn't see right through me Luna: Now I really wish that I knew how to swim The trainees began to see the results of the montage, as the tasks that had seemed impossible on the first day were being cleared with moderate effort, the courses less daunting. [mares] BE A MARE We must be swift as a coursing river [mares] BE A MARE With all the force of a great typhoon [mares] BE A MARE With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon “Time is racing toward us Till the end arrives. Heed my every order And you might succeed.” “You're unfit for this power of yours So pack up, go home you're through How could I make a mare Out of you?” The trainees were almost finished, with all but the weakest clearing half of Level one with ease. [mares] BE A MARE We must be swift as a coursing river [mares] BE A MARE With all the force of a great typhoon [mares] BE A MARE With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon [everyone]BE A MARE We must be swift as a coursing river BE A MARE With all the force of a great typhoon BE A MARE With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon Hoo-ah!* Mecha stood to the side of the finish line, timer in hoof. Glancing down, he counted down the time remaining until Celestia failed. Ten seconds left, and she could be seen sprinting down the path, ballistas shooting at her rapidly. Halfway through... and four seconds left. Dodging projectiles, Celestia leapt past the finish line, causing Mecha to stop the timer. Everypony held their breath as Mecha looked at the watch, before facing Celestia. “You are one-tenth of a second... under. Congrats princess, you've passed Level One.” Everypony cheered, before rushing forward to congratulate Celestia. LINEBREAKER Mecha walked up to Twilight Sparkle, the first to finish packing besides Mecha after the training montage. Sitting down, Mecha chuckled while she glared at him. Smiling, Mecha asked, “So... who don't you want to see right through you? And what exactly is there to see through?” Twilight stopped glaring as her eyes went wide, before stuttering out, “I-I-I don't know what you're talking about.” Chuckling once more, Mecha replied, “Ah, so it's like that eh? Well, to start with, you said she during the song... and based on that tone, this she is somepony you're trying to impress... so I ask again, who don't you want to see right through you and what I assume is your attempts to impress her?” Twilight shook, before yelling out, “THE PRINCESS!” and collapsing to the ground, legs covering her head. Mecha blinked, before asking, “Really?” Seeing Twilight nod her head, Mecha blinked once more, before saying, “I figured it was somepony from the audience... but wow... which one...?” Twilight mumbled something incoherent under her breath, causing Mecha to say, “Speak up please.” “I said yes!” she yelled, blushing brightly. “Yes... you mean both of them?” Mecha asked, staring her straight in the eyes. “Yes... no... I mean... I don't know, alright!” Twilight replied, as she started to pace. “I mean... I just can't decide which one I like more... and then there was that article in the paper with the excerpts from their diaries about that pony each one is crushing on...” she stopped here, before turning to face Mecha and ask, “You had something to do with that, didn't you?” Mecha blinked, before replying, “You want to know who they're crushing on, don't you?” “Either tell me or I tell them you put their diaries in the newspaper,” Twilight said, shooting a stern glare at Mecha. Shrugging his shoulders, Mecha replied, “Hey, I've got no problem telling you that the pony who's name and description I censored out of the paper was you. And for the record, if they hadn't made me a noble or entered me in the Miss Equestria beauty pageant I wouldn't have published the pages.” Twilight blinked, before asking, “Me?” Nodding his head, Mecha said, “Yeah. Which means that not only do you have to decide whether you like Luna or Celestia more, you have to figure out how to break it to the other one as well. Tough luck there...” Twilight just stared blankly at Mecha, still trying to process what she just heard. Waving a hoof in front of her, Mecha shrugged, before heading off to grab his stuff. “Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky and they'll agree to share you!” he hollered, chuckling to himself. Odds were that this whole situation would go unresolved for months, and he'd enjoy watching every moment of it. Walking out, Mecha was stopped by both Celestia and Luna. Raising an eyebrow, Mecha asked, “Can I help you?” Smirking, Celestia replied, “Yes, you can Baron Mecha... or should I say Viscount Mecha?” Blinking, Mecha asked, “Viscount...? You're upping my level of nobility!?!” “Of course we are,” Luna replied, a grin on her face. “After all, you did get us into shape in time to meet our royal guest... whom you'll be greeting with us as our noble bodyguard.” Eye twitching, Mecha mumbled something under his breath, before replying, “Fine, let's go. I suddenly regret not publishing more of your diaries...” “Ah yes, speaking of that,” Luna said, throwing a copy of the paper that had the excerpts from their diaries in it in front of Mecha. “We'd like to thank you for showing how similar we are to other ponies...” “By showing that we too have feelings and secrets, which has allowed us to connect with our subjects better,” Celestia finished. “Which means we have no choice but to name you...” “Earl Mecha...” Mecha groaned, face-hoofing. “Great... just what I always wanted. Now if only I had an arrogant attitude and no respect for non-nobility!” Chuckling at Mecha's sarcastic remarks, the three ponies made their way towards the palace to greet their guest. LINEBREAKER Mecha stood next to Luna as she, Celestia, and Twilight waited for their guest to arrive. Bored, Mecha started to hum a tune while looking around the chambers. Seeing nothing of interest, Mecha decided to mess with the guard in front of him by channeling magic into his eyes slowly. The guard began to sweat, slightly disturbed by the slowly blackening eyes, as well as the ethereal flame that was beginning to build around his left eye. Mecha's mouth slowly formed into an evil grin, when the guard at the door yelled out, “Presenting the royal guest, Bright Dusk!” Mecha turned around, and his jaw dropped at what he saw. There, standing in the entrance, was the oddest alicorn he'd ever seen. Granted, he'd only seen three before, but still... Bright Dusk's oddity started with a bright peachy colored coat and horn that clashed with the dark blue mane and wings. Bright Dusk's eyes were a mismatched set with a brown eye for the left eye and a dark green for the right. The Cutie Mark's on Bright Dusk's flanks didn't match either, as one side was a rising sun, while the other was a setting sun. But what stood out the most... was the conflicting magic present in Bright Dusk's body. “We... are quite happy to meet you princess Celestia, princess Luna,” Bright Dusk said, dipping into a bow. Blinking, Luna leaned over to Celestia, and said, “I thought you said nopony used the royal we anymore...” “They don't Luna... which is why I'm as confused as you are,” Celestia replied. “We see that you're confused,” Bright Dusk stated, getting up from the bow. “Allow us to explain...” It was then that everything clicked for Mecha. The odd appearance, the conflicting magic, and the use of we and us instead of I and me. “You're two ponies in one body,” he stated, and took a better look with his left eye. Sure enough, if he looked close enough, he could spot two souls residing in the body. “One a unicorn, the other a pegasus... you were conjoined twins when you were born I'd bet.” Everypony stared at Mecha, eyes wide and jaws dropped, with the exception of Bright Dusk, who replied, “You'd be right sir. To be honest, we are actually Bright Dawn and Dark Dusk, a unicorn and a pegasus respectably. When we were born, I or my sister, depending on how you view us, had her or my unicorn magic react violently with my or his pegasus magic, causing our bodies to merge...” Nodding his head, Mecha replied, “Yeah, that sounds right. Which means that you're here to see if they can help you separate back into yourselves... and thus I'm not needed.” Picking up his stuff from behind the throne, Mecha made his way towards the exit, and yelled back, “I'm off! If you need me... tough luck! You made me an Earl, and I won't help!” LINEBREAKER Mecha stepped off the train, and took in a deep breath of fresh air. Letting it out, he smiled. It'd been about a month since he'd left Ponyville, and he had to say it was a resounding success. He'd whipped Luna and Celestia into shape and published their diaries, helped Fluttershy with her confidence... he hoped, and found out about Twilight's crush on both the princesses. Walking home, he watched as Sugary Spice ran past him with a dark blue-purple pegasus filly, with purple eyes, a dark green mane, and no Cutie Mark on her flanks. Blinking, Mecha watched as they ducked into Sugarcube Corner. “Interesting sight isn't it?” Cheerilee said, walking up to Mecha. “Lively Spirit showed up shortly after you left to run that boot camp of yours.” Eyebrow raised, Mecha asked, “Lively Spirit?” “Yeah... she's my adopted daughter,” Cheerilee replied. “Paperwork came in yesterday.” Mecha stopped, and stared at Cheerilee. Blinking, he asked, “What all did I miss?” Sighing, Cheerilee said, “I'll tell ya later...** let's just get dinner all right?” Shaking his head, Mecha replied, “That... sounds good.” And so they walked towards the local cafe, leaving Mecha's suitcases in the middle of the street. *Be a Mare- Parody of Be a Man by myself. Yeah... not the best, but hey, it's my first parody. **Be on the look-out for Ghosts of the Past- the story behind Lively Spirit and what happened while Mecha was away.