//------------------------------// // Oops // Story: Free to Good Home: Talking Pony // by Mike the Red //------------------------------// I went to my bedroom in Discord's "lair" and noticed he had remained true to his word. There in the small room was a new bed, about four feet square, just large enough for me to sleep comfortably. I hopped in, and was rewarded with the softest most comfortable mattress I had ever lain on. I conjured up a set of blinds for the window to block the light. I got up, and headed to the kitchen for a quick bite. Discord watched me as I trotted around, and smiled as he watched. I was wondering what he was thinking about. Using my telekinesis, I opened the fridge and got a bag of salad mix along with a bottle of balsamic vinaigrette dressing. I got a fork out of the drawer, and a bowl from a cupboard, and fixed myself a salad. I took a can of grape soda, and thanked Discord for restoring my magic use as I would not have been able to eat and drink like this without it. "I appreciate an employee with your performance. Keep up the good work, and the rewards will be even better," he said. "I will do my best, master," I said. I continued eating and washed the dishes after I finished. I used telekinesis to crush the soda can, and put it in a recycling bin I had conjured up. "A recycling bin? Really?" he chuckled. "That's just a bit too silly." "It's a small step, just a thought..." "It's worth a chuckle, Twilight. Always one to try to help, even in a small way. I like that," he grinned. The hour got late, and I went to bed. I hadn't had such a comfortable rest in a very long time. I drifted off to sleep quickly, and slept soundly. About an hour later, Discord came into my room and snuggled behind me, putting his lion paw on my rib cage. "About that offer you made earlier," he whispered. He snuggled even closer to me. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. "I don't recall actually making that offer," I said, trying to discourage him. I didn't want to anger him, though. "Well, I did say I was tempted to take you up on that offer," he said. "What must I do?" "If you want to have sex with me, I must charge you ten Saint Gaudens double eagles," I said. I hoped I wasn't giving myself away too cheaply. I figured $20,000 worth of gold would be high enough. "You mean U.S. gold coin? I believe I can manage that," he said, and gave me a small purple velvet bag with ten heavy coins in it. I examined the coins to make sure he wasn't trying to pull a fast one on me. "Those are quite real, I can assure you," he said, trying to assuage my concerns. "Okay, I guess I can let you do what you want," I said with a great deal of resignation in my voice. I let my body go numb as he rubbed against me, running his lion paw over my belly, and stroked my mane with his eagle talon. He rubbed against me for a couple more minutes, then his body tensed up and went limp again. I felt a warm sticky wetness on my hindquarters, but didn't feel anything inside. "Are you done now?" I asked him impatiently. I was rather disappointed by his lack of stamina and tried to avoid chuckling at his pathetic attempt to make love to me. I bit my lower lip to keep from saying something I would regret. "Yeah, I guess I am," he said. "Thanks again, Twilight, for being here for me. It gets lonely sometimes." The rest of the night passed without incident, and I slept quite well that night. Tomorrow had more work in store for me. ------------------------- I woke up feeling quite refreshed, and went to the bathroom to take care of relieving myself and taking a shower. "Need any help in there?" Discord asked, showing a bit more curiosity about me than he probably should have. "Got some more gold coins for me?" I asked. "Don't push your luck, Twilight," he replied with a bit of menace tinging his words. "You can scrub my back if you like," I said. He came in and soaped up a brush, running it back and forth on my back and sides, working his way back to my hindquarters. "Do my tail as well, why not." He obliged, and smiled as he helped me. "Thanks for the help, even though I didn't really need it. Can I have French Toast for breakfast?" "Ah, Twilight, good choice. Finish drying off, and it will be ready for you." Back to the kitchen for breakfast, orange juice to wash it down. Now to get back to that list! "Your next stop takes you to the West Bank of the Palestinian Territory, and you must blow some large holes in the Separation Barrier from the Palestinian side. Space those holes about two to five miles apart, and make sure they're very large. I am looking to pour a lot of gasoline on that fire," Discord explained. "Depending on how well you do, this might actually be the last job I have for you." "What then?" "I'll think of something," he said. "I will keep a watch on you to make sure the IDF doesn't get too close." ---------------------------- I teleported to the West Bank, and saw this 25 foot high wall. I was about two miles away from it, near its southernmost edge. I readied a pyrokinetic blast, and fired away at the wall. A rough circular hole about ten feet in diameter was blown into it, scattering chunks of concrete over a fair distance. "Need to make it a bit bigger," I thought. I teleported about three miles north, and fired another blast of magic. This time the hole was about 15 feet in diameter, but still not enough to create a large gap in the wall. "Hmm. Perhaps a bit bigger," I thought. Four miles north, and another blast. This time a 30 foot section of the wall was blown away, with concrete chunks landing up to a mile away from the blast. Now I heard sirens blaring in the distance. "Okay, that's pretty good, but maybe just a little bit bigger," I said. Five miles north. Big blast! A 75 foot section of the wall was blown out, and 50 feet on either side of the gap fell. More sirens, and now I heard fighter jet aircraft in the sky. I calculated speed and distance, and fired a blast to anticipate the flight path of one of the jets. A large pyrokinetic blast took it down. The pilot ejected from his crippled aircraft. I teleported another 5 miles north. I was getting close to the northern end of the wall, so I decided to make this one spectacular. This blast was so big, it blew away nearly 200 feet of the wall, and knocked down 600 feet of it on either side. I figured I was done at this point, and teleported back to Discord's lair. "Hey, Twilight, you're just in time to see the news. Check this out!" he grinned. The television news broadcast was blaring something about the Israeli Prime Minister complaining bitterly about a secret weapon the Iranians had, and how he was going to launch a full-scale military airstrike against multiple targets in Iran. He was calling on the President of the United States to come to Israel's aid, and helping destroy the Iranian menace once and for all. Then the Russian Prime Minister was shown, saying how he would respond to any military strike by Israel against it's ally with overwhelming force. The pundits speculated on what this would mean for world peace, but many were almost gleeful about the coming war. "You know, Discord, I think I might have just started World War Three," I said rather glumly. "Yeah! Isn't that just great? You have done a most splendid job!" "Okay, so what's next on the list?" "I threw it away. You have succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. You are free to go wherever you wish," he said. "So if I asked you to let me stay here ..." "Well, you're welcome to stay if you like, but since you have done such a wonderful job for me, I no longer have need of your services. Take your gold and go -- don't test my patience, Twilight, I have grown to like you. If you leave, make sure you don't return, lest you provoke my ire." I didn't have to be told twice, so I went to the room I slept in, took my little bag of gold coins and teleported to what used to be my home. I was going to check on a few things before trying to start a new life for myself. The driveway had an older Cadillac sedan in it, but the car was in pretty bad shape, being about 15 years old. The fence we had put up several years ago was still there, but all of the other yard decorations were gone. After a year's absence from this place, I figured that it had been foreclosed, and that Brenda had moved somewhere else. I trotted to the front door and tapped my right fore-hoof on the door. The person who opened the door was none other than Alonzo himself. He flashed an evil grin at me and came out. I used my telekinesis to pick him up and lifted him about 50 feet in the air. "Help! Hey, dog, I'm sorry for kicking you! Put me down! Please!" "Okay," I said, and released my magic hold on him. Gravity took over at that point. He screamed as he fell. I used my telekinesis again to catch him about five feet above the ground. I lifted him again. "You know, the fact that you kicked me down the stairs still has me very angry with you," I told him. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't slam you onto the street." "Because there's a cop watching you right now," he said, grinning.