//------------------------------// // The Pony Who Just Wanted to Relax // Story: The Lesson Plans of a Winning Teacher // by Cloudhammer //------------------------------// I stared, open-mouthed, at the disaster that was my normally organized kitchen. “Sweetie Belle, I... this...” I trailed off, my brain just wasn’t prepared to deal with something like this right after waking up. I don’t think my brain would ever be ready for something like this. Sweetie Belle’s smile started to fade. “You don’t like it, do you?” I shook my head and forced a smile onto my face, desperately trying to quash the growing urge to panic. “No, I really do appreciate the gesture, Sweetie. But why don’t we try and see if I have something that everypony would like.” I trotted to the icebox and checked its contents, hoping I’d be able to wrestle my brain back into line. Okay, I had enough apples and carrots left to make a very simple breakfast for everypony, so at least there was that. Okay, crisis averted, calm restored. “Alright, let’s hurry up and eat. You don’t want to be late for school, do you?” Apple Bloom raised a hoof. “But how can we be late, Miss Cheerilee? We’re here with you, after all.” I opened my mouth to reply, but realized that she had a point. “Well, we don’t want to make the other students sit around with nothing to do, do we?” The fillies all thought it over and shook their heads. “Excellent, then why don’t you all go into the living room and eat. I’ll clean up the mess in here.” Once I was alone in the kitchen I surveyed the smoking wasteland which had once been my stove. Somedays I wondered if Sweetie’s parents deliberately made her name rhyme with ‘megaspell.’ The foam from the fire extinguisher had formed a pretty thick layer of sludge, but I could clearly see the outline of one of my metal cooking pans on the center rack. At least she hadn’t used the nice glassware. I dragged the garbage can over, gripped the pan gingerly, and tried my hardest not to think about what precisely Sweetie had been cooking. I thought about it for a second, then dumped the whole pan into the bin. I could always buy another one after school. After another few minutes of scrubbing, I decided that the stove was at least clean enough to leave for the day and trotted into the living room, grabbing the last apple out of my icebox on my way out. “Okay everypony, are you all ready to go?” The girls all looked up from their bags. “Ummm, Miss Cheerilee, what do we do with our sleeping bags?” Sweetie Belle asked quietly. “Well, you can just bring them with you,” I said with a smile. “We’ll just put them in the storage closet.” I devoured the apple in a few quick bites, and trotted toward the door, hefting my saddlebags onto my back. “Now let’s hurry, we don’t want to be late.” I herded the fillies down the street, and hoped that the sympathetic looks my neighbors were giving me weren’t too obvious to the Crusaders. As inadvertently destructive as the three were, they were still fillies, and deserved at least some kindness. I took a few minutes to enjoy the feeling of the sun shining on my coat. “Miss Cheerilee?” I looked down to see Sweetie Belle bumping up against me, her expression downcast. “Sorry again about messing up your kitchen.” I sighed and leaned back to give her a reassuring nuzzle. “It’s okay, Sweetie Belle. I know you meant well and I do appreciate the gesture, but perhaps next time ask before using somepony’s kitchen supplies?” Sweetie smiled and nodded. “Of course! Maybe the next time we have a sleepover, we could have it at your house and I can try again?” I suppressed a shudder. Tartarus had a better chance of freezing over. “Well, perhaps I’ll lend you a hoof, alright?” Sweetie beamed and hurried back to her friends. I shook my head, vainly hoping to forget the 'breakfast' she'd tried to cook for us. I’d definitely be supervising her if she ever tried cooking in my kitchen again. The schoolhouse finally came into view, and I smiled as I saw that a few of the other students were still arriving. I shepherded them all inside and helped the Crusaders put their sleeping bags in the storage closet and trotted into the classroom. “Okay everypony, let’s settle down.” I waited until all of the students were facing me before I nosed open the textbook. “Before we get started on our math, I’ve graded your quizzes from yesterday. There were several of you who did very well on it. Sweetie Belle, Silver Spoon, congratulations on getting perfect scores.” The two fillies beamed as I set the papers down on their desks. “Those of you who didn't do as well as they did and aren't happy with your grades shouldn't be discouraged. I’ll be holding a review session after class on Monday. If you feel like you want to get a firmer grasp on the material, or if you did not get a passing grade, then I recommend attending it.” I finished passing out the quizzes and trotted back to the front of the classroom. “And I hope you brought your history books today, we start covering The Lunar Rebellion and it’s impact on Equestrian society after math, and we’ll continue it after recess.” I shook my head good-naturedly at the groans, before I picked up a piece of chalk and turned to the board, quickly drawing the beginning of the first equation. I glanced back at the book to make sure it was right, and then set the chalk down. “Okay, who can tell me what this equation is for, without looking in your books.” I tried not to smile as Archer, Scootaloo, Keebler, and Diamond Tiara took their hooves off their textbooks. I saw Sweetie Belle, Silver Spoon, and Alula all raising their hooves, and nodded toward Alula. At least today’s class was going to go well. “Alright Alula, why don’t you tell us?” ***** It was a veritable stampede as the students charged out the door into the yard for recess. I settled down on the little patio by the door and started to eat when I noticed a shadow pass by overhead. “Hey Cheerilee.” Cloud Kicker said as she landed next to me. I sighed and set down my food. “Hello Cloud Kicker.” The pegasus fluttered her wings a little. "Listen, sorry about last night. Things... kinda happened." "I should certainly hope not,” I grumbled. ”You had five fillies in that house with you." Cloud Kicker snorted. "Nah, no worries about that. Look, though--I really do appreciate the help, and I wanted to make it up to you." I gave her a very skeptical look. Cloud Kicker had many ways of making things up to ponies ... most of which involved her getting as much out of it as the pony in question. Besides which--she was nice and all, but... I think Cloud Kicker knew where my line of thought was heading, because she cut me off with a shake of her head. "Not like that, I think this goes a little beyond my usual thing. Anyway, Rarity originally was going to give me and Blossomforth a trip to the spa today at four as payment for foalsitting the Crusaders. When I mentioned you helped out, she extended the offer to you as well. Though after her behavior last night Blossom blew her shot, so I decided to invite Derpy instead. What do you say?” I was tempted to just turn her down, but something stayed my hoof. As nice as a trip to the spa would be, having to go with Cloud Kicker wasn’t exactly at the top of my list of things to enjoy. But then again, given my workload and salary, I’d never actually been able to afford going before. Not to mention that given I had a date with Big Macintosh tonight, maybe going wasn’t such a bad idea. “You know, alright. I’ll go.” “Cool. Is it okay if Derpy and I just meet you here? We’d need to pick up Alula, Sparkler and Dinky anyway.” “I suppose that’ll be fine.” I hoped my ear hadn’t twitched. “Great. I’ll see you here at around three-thirty?” She barely even waited for my nod before she trotted over to give Alula a quick nuzzle. A second later she was airborne, headed back toward the market. I sighed and wondered if I’d just made a big mistake. Although, given that we were going to be in public, maybe some of Cloud Kicker’s worst shenanigans would be curtailed. I finished off my lunch and got to my hooves. “Alright everypony, you have five more minutes, then it’s time to finish our history lesson.” I smiled as the foals redoubled their playing, and made my way back into the building. I decided to take a minute to myself, and looked around the room with a small smile. I nosed open the history book and started writing the next chapter’s title on the board along with the first few topics. The clock signalled the end of the five minutes with a soft chime, and I pushed open the window. “Alright everypony, let’s come back inside! It’s time to finish up for today!” I flicked an ear at the chorus of groans. “Now now, we’re almost done, no sense using up more of your weekend, is there?” That served to motivate them, and they hurried back through the door in a rush. Once they’d all taken their seats, I picked up my pointer and tapped the title. “Okay, we were talking about how Celestia’s efforts to implement a consolidation program were actually increasing tensions. The pegasus military was steadfastly against surrendering their authority to the unicorns, while the earth pony-led Democratic Coalition was drawing a lot of negative attention from the unicorn nobility. Eventually, these tensions escalated into outright violence, sparked by an incident known as The Contested Election.” Almost on cue, a half-dozen hooves shot into the air. “Yes Sweetie Belle?” “I’m confused, Miss Cheerilee. If the vote for Chancellor of the Earth Ponies was done properly and Princess Celestia still won, then why would anypony say there was a problem with the election?” “That is an excellent question.” I set the pointer down and turned to face the class.” However, while it’s easy for us to sit here after these events have happened and point out the mistakes made, it’s very hard to do that when the event is going on around you. Not to mention the time after Luna’s banishment to the moon was a very stressful time for ponies, and as I’m sure you know, not everypony reacts with composure when under stress.” Scootaloo raised a hoof. “So then what happened with the Contested Election?” “Well, as I explained earlier, the election for the office of Chancellor was coming up, and the candidate the earth ponies put forward was beginning to gain popularity due to the rising tensions between the tribes...” ***** “Alright class, I will see you Monday. Enjoy your weekend, and remember – your family drawings are due on Monday!” I shouted as the students galloped out the door, plans already hatched to pass their time. I packed my textbooks and notes into my saddlebags, then trotted out into the hallway. “Okay you three, let’s get your sleeping bags out.” I opened the door and passed the Crusaders their bags. “And do try to stay out of trouble this weekend, okay?” “Sure thing Miss Cheerilee! See you on Monday!” Apple Bloom shouted as they charged out the door. Forget it Cheerilee, just let them go. No sense ruining your weekend again. Somepony else can take care of it. With a sigh I trotted down the hallway after them and out the door. I spotted Dinky and Alula on the steps and sat down next to them. “So girls, did you have any questions about the material we talked about in class? Anything you needed help with for your presentation about your family, Alula?” Alula shook her head. “Nope, I was gonna study more with Dinky and Sparkler at the library. Is that okay?” “Of course, Alula,” I said with a smile, before the sound of hoofsteps made me look up. “And speak of the pony. Hello, Sparkler.” “Hey there, Cheerilee. Hi, Dinky!” Sparkler laughed as Dinky charged into a hug with her older sister. “Did you have fun last night?” “Uh-huh! Though Mommy had to make a special delivery, so I was gonna spend the night at Miss Cloud Kicker’s house! And Alula, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were all gonna stay the night too! Though Miss Blossomforth got all funny, was saying some weird things to Miss Cloud Kicker, so we had to go spend the night at Miss Cheerilee’s house,” Dinky finished in a rush. “And Miss Cheerilee read us all a Daring Doo story before bed!” Sparkler just stared for a second, then her eyes flicked up to me for confirmation. I nodded slightly and she sighed, her ear twitching. “Well, that’s just great. I’m glad you had fun Dinky.” I started to open my mouth when I saw a shadow heading across the ground toward us. I glanced up, and stepped aside as Derpy fluttered in for a landing. At least this time she had things mostly sorted out and came to a perfect stop, only overshooting by a hoof or two. “Hello, Derpy.” “Hi Cheerilee,” Derpy said with a smile. “Thank you so much for helping with Dinky last night. I’ll be sure to make it up to you.” “Oh, that’s alright, Dinky was very well behaved.” I found myself wondering exactly how much Derpy knew about what had really gone on last night, but decided against asking. As much as I disagreed with Cloud Kicker’s lifestyle, I didn’t have it in me to start making more trouble for her. “Kicky!” Alula’s joyful shout broke the awkward silence wonderfully as she rushed her older sister for a hug. “Hey there ‘lula,” Cloud Kicker returned the hug. “We started talking about the Lunar Rebellions, and then during recess I was talking with Archer about what she was going to draw for her family picture and...” At the pace she was going, she’d rival Pinkie Pie someday for most words spoken in a single breath. Once Cloud Kicker had a break she scooped her sister up, ignoring the protests about being a big filly, and floated over with a few quick flaps. “Hey. What’s the plan for the girls while we’re having our spa day?” “Sparkler’s going to take them to the library to get some homework done,” Derpy answered. Sparkler waved a hoof, an awkward smile on her face. “Yeah, I’ll take care of the girls. Don’t worry about them.” Cloud Kicker chuckled. “Good luck, they can be a hooffull.” I snorted, but let it slide. Granted, the Crusaders had demolished her kitchen as well, but she didn’t have to wake up to it. Plus she had a lot more than a teacher’s salary to fix the damage with. We watched the girls trot off toward the library with a wave to their respective family members, then started to make our way toward the spa. As we were walking, I noticed that Cloud Kicker and Derpy were walking just a little closer together than usual. I would say I was surprised, but then again, it was Cloud Kicker. The rest of the walk passed in silence, none of us really having that much to say to each other. As the spa came into view I glanced over at Cloud Kicker. “So, what exactly did Rarity set up for us?” Cloud Kicker shrugged. “I dunno for sure--she just said something about the deluxe treatment.” I blinked. “She paid for three deluxe spa treatments?” I double-checked the numbers in my head and winced. Something like that would take two month’s pay to afford for me. I’d definitely need to thank Rarity the next time I saw her, kitchen disasters or not. We trotted up the steps and into the spa lobby. “Hey there Lotus, we’re here for our spa treatments,” Cloud Kicker said, grinning at the pony behind the counter. “Oh, but of course, Miss Cloud Kicker,” Lotus replied with a bow. A second later her sister appeared in the doorway. “Aloe shall show you to the steam room, while I prepare the next stage of your visit with us today.” Aloe led us down the hall to the steam room, making sure we were all comfortable before pouring a few ladles of water onto the heating stones. After a good half-hour of sweating, we were led to a room filled with couches, where we all received hooficures. Then came preenings for Derpy and Cloud Kicker, while I was given a massage. After sorting out how to walk again, we were given mane treatments and facials. Finally, we were led to the mud bath room, where the twins carefully eased us into our own pools. After another half hour, Aloe trotted back in. “Miss Cloud Kicker, Miss Derpy, your massage couches are ready for you.” “Cool. You coming Derpy?” Cloud Kicker asked as she got out of her pool and washed the mud off. Derpy leaned back into the mud with a sigh. “I think I’m okay right here. I’ll catch up with you in a little while.” “Suit yourself.” Cloud Kicker followed Aloe out of the room and down the hall. Now that the two of us were alone, I decided to ask the question that started nagging at me on the walk over. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, what exactly do you see in her, Derpy?” Derpy settled into the mud some more and stretched. “Cloud Kicker and I go way back--way past me moving here. We’ve been pretty close friends since Fight Camp and, well … she was always there for us. Dependable. Like, Applejack-dependable--she watched out for her friends.” I nodded and squirmed a little to get comfortable myself. The spa mud sucked at my coat, almost a little too thick to move in. ”Well, I suppose that makes sense, but...” I trailed off, trying to figure out how to ask without hurting Derpy’s feelings. “You wonder what a single mom sees in Ponyville’s premiere playpony?” Derpy asked with her usual bubbly smile. I laughed awkwardly. “Sorry, was trying to think of a discrete way to ask.” Derpy grinned, chuckling herself. “Don’t worry about it. Cloud Kicker and ‘discretion’ don’t always get along. Poor Sparkler put two and two together a little too quickly for her own good.” I remembered the way Sparkler acted when Dinky had mentioned the sleepover and winced. “That must not have been a fun talk to have.” Derpy shrugged her wings, the mud hiding most of the motion. “It was a bit awkward, but... well, I owed her the truth.” She paused for a second. “Dinky’s not quite ready for The Talk yet, but if things keep going as they are I might have to fill her in sooner rather than later.” She squirmed for a bit to keep the mud from settling. “But back to your question … there’s a lot more to Cloud Kicker than most ponies give her credit for. Not many of them can see past the wild-and-crazy playmare at first glance, but those of us who can see somepony who’s far less superficial than she puts on.” She lowered her voice slightly. “When I moved to town, she was one of the few ponies who went way out of her way to help me. That meant a lot to me, and now that I finally have some time on my hooves … I like spending it with her.” I blinked. A reply like that had not been what I expected to hear from Derpy, of all ponies. Granted, I knew she was fairly sharp, but something like that? No wonder Dinky did so well with my side lesson on ethics two months ago. “Wow, I never really thought of it that way. I’ll admit though, I’d have never thought that Cloud Kicker would stay with anypony for longer than a day or two, given her ‘normal’ behavior.” Derpy stared briefly into space for a second, then shook her head. “I think it’s mostly for the muffins.“ “I’ve not actually had any of your muffins Derpy,” I tilted my head. “Are they really that good?” Derpy coughed awkwardly, then brightened. “The best! Pinkie taught me how to make them.” I tilted my head in confusion before a very, very dirty thought crossed my mind. I came close to smacking my forehead before remembering where I was. “Er, right...” I floundered for a second, at a loss for words. Derpy laughed heartily. “It does make my favorite snack a little awkward, doesn’t it?” There was another awkward pause. “Wait, that came out wrong...” Now it was my turn to laugh. “Just a little.” “I blame her,” Derpy pointed to the door with a wry snort. “Totally her influence. And fault.” I smiled, leaning back against the provided cushion. “Well, I’m happy for you Derpy, I really am.” “Thanks. So am I.” She carefully lifted a wing free and worked some mud in between a few of her feathers. “So … how’s Dinky doing in her classes?” I nodded. “She’s doing very well with her math and science, but her reading comprehension could use a bit of improvement.” “Mm, I’ll keep that in mind. Hopefully Sparkler or I can set some time aside to help, but we’re both pretty busy...” She trailed off with a frown. I thought about it for a second. “Well, I can schedule some time after school if you and Sparkler can’t.” Derpy quickly waved a hoof. “Thanks, but I wouldn’t want to cut into your schedule--you must be busy enough as it is with your regular classtimes.” “Well, I don’t really have much that it’d interfere with right now, to be honest.” A slight edge of bitterness in my voice despite myself. I like my life being calm and predictable as much as the next pony, but the occasional spark of variety is welcome. Derpy blinked. “Really? I’m--um...sorry?” She cleared her throat. “You don’t have a special somepony, nopony that’s caught your eye?” I felt my cheeks burn as I ducked my head a little. “Well, now that you mention it...” I looked up as the door suddenly slammed open, a purple and gold blur nearly careening into the wall, but correcting itself and landing in front of Derpy’s pool. It was Cloud Kicker, her coat and mane disheveled and a little winded. “Hey Cloud Kicker! What’s up?” Derpy asked with a bright smile. “Not much.” She took a second to compose herself a little. “So anyway, I was wondering... um… Will you be upset if I bang other ponies?” I sat there, stunned for a second, before I gasped in a breath. “How can you even ask something like that!? Isn’t she your fillyfriend?” I started to take another breath to continue, but Derpy waved a hoof to cut me off. “It’s fine, Cloud Kicker.” She must’ve noticed me staring open-mouthed at her, and turned to face me. “Like I said, Cloud Kicker’s been my friend for years, Cheerilee. I know I couldn’t keep her to myself even if I wanted to.” She shot her a coy look. “I don’t mind if she has a little fun on the side – I know she likes my muffin enough to come back.” Cloud Kicker grinned, then seemed to get a thought and looked at me. “Cheerilee, wanna come with?” I scowled, irritated that she’d even consider asking me something like that, and in front of her fillyfriend no less. “I’m seeing somepony,” I said coldly. I wasn’t lying, technically. “Oh. Sorry, didn’t know.” She started to move towards the door, then turned around. “I’ll have to ask the twins, but I don’t have any problem with him joining in.” At the deepend scowl on my face, she held a hoof up. “Kidding, kidding.” “Wait Cloud Kicker!” Derpy waved her over, a shy grin on her face. “You came to ask my permission for twins?” “Yeah?” Cloud Kicker took a few steps closer to the edge of the tub. That was what Derpy had been waiting for. A pair of muddy hooves shot up out of the bath, wrapped themselves around her neck, and pulled her down into a kiss. A moment later, their combined weight tipped Cloud Kicker over, and the two of them plunged into the mud. That didn’t seem to slow them down, the two surfacing with their forelegs still around each other and their lips locked. After a few minutes, punctuated by their grunts and the squelches of the mud, I finally coughed awkwardly to remind them I was still there. They separated with goofy smiles at each other, and as Cloud Kicker turned to leave, Derpy grabbed her hoof. “Have fun. And... you may want to rinse off first.” Cloud Kicker beamed. “No time! Twins!” And with that, she wheeled about and galloped out the door in a muddy blur. I blinked, then turned to Derpy. “Derpy, I don’t mean to offend, but why on Celestia’s good green earth are you okay with that? She’s your fillyfriend!” Derpy took a second to readjust her wings from her make-out session with Cloud Kicker. “It’s who she is. Cloud Kicker is Cloud Kicker--I knew that when she started coming over and I’m not about to ask her to change that.” I blinked. “Well... I guess I can understand that...” Derpy opened her mouth to reply, but a moaning sigh from down the hall interrupted her. “Ahem. It’s--well, Cloud Kicker’s been a very open pony. It may seem a little--okay, really strange, but I really am okay with that.” Her ear flicked as a pair of giggling sighs drifted through the door. I think if my ears twitched any harder, I’d be knocking myself cross-eyed. “Oh, that trick, that’s a good one.” Derpy blushed and shot me a guilty smile. “Heh, not that you needed to know that. Sorry.” I sighed in resignation, giving Derpy a wry smile. “It’s okay.” Derpy twirled a hoof in the surface of the mud for a second. “So... what was that you were saying?” I felt my cheeks starting to burn again. “Well... I did sort of get asked out for later tonight.” A grin spread across Derpy’s face as she leaned forward. “Ohhohoho really? By whom?” I smiled shyly and sank a little into the mud “...Big Macintosh,” I whispered. Derpy’s eyes widened. “Ooh, nice! He’s a good pony, I think you’ll like him!” “Yeah... I hope so...” I shuddered a little as unwelcome memories again surged back to the front of my brain. Derpy stared at me in confusion, until something clicked and her ears flattened a little. “Oh! Um... Sorry. I heard about that from Berry. I don’t think this has anything to do with it. It’s out of your systems, and he really is nice.” “I know that it’s gone... but still, just a bit of a touchy subject, you know?” I sighed, staring forlornly at the mud Derpy nodded seriously. “I do … look, take it from me--don’t let one bad event ruin everything for you.” I smiled thankfully at her. “I’ll try. Thanks Derpy.” My ears twitched as a particularly loud, gasping cry rang out. “You know, I think I ought to get going. It’s been a lot of fun, and I’ll be sure to let you know if Dinky needs any help with her studies.” I started floundering my way out of the mud, and nearly fell back in as the same cry came again. Fortunately, Derpy was quicker than I was at extricating herself and helped steady me. Maybe a life of endless crash landings offered some benefit after all. “Okay. Thanks Cheerliee, it was good catching up with you.” “It was.” I smiled and hurriedly trotted out the door for the shower, making sure to not even glance down the hall toward the massage room. No sense catching sight of something that might scar you for life after all. ***** I trotted down the street from the spa, still trying to wrap my brain around how Derpy could even put up with Cloud Kicker’s antics. I finally had to just admit that Derpy was seeing something in her that I didn’t, and leave it at that. The trip back to my house was thankfully short, and I dropped my saddlebags in their usual spot. I decided to give myself a once-over to make sure that I was cleaned off from the spa. I trotted in and eyed myself in the mirror. No sign of any mud, mane still a little damp, but holding its shape nicely. I tilted my head and peered closer at my reflection. Something just felt... off. I glanced out to my little window garden and smiled as I saw some of my daisies blooming proudly. “That’s it!” I walked over and carefully picked one, carrying it back to the bathroom and positioning it just above my left ear. Hopefully that would hold just fine. “Okay. You got this Cheerilee. It’s just dinner, nothing to worry about.” I trotted out the door and down the street, squinting a little against the light of the setting sun. As I passed my neighbors, more than one of them took notice of the flower in my hair, the spring that was creeping into my step, and winked or grinned at me. I decided to ignore them, though I kept a smile on my face nonetheless. I wished my stomach would stop doing flip-flops though, it wasn’t making the walk any easier. Finally, the restaurant came into view, and I slowed my pace as the butterfly feeling doubled. Was this really something I wanted to do? I mean, I liked the idea of going out with Big Macintosh as much as the next mare, and maybe some stallions, but I wanted it to be because of my choice. Not some alchemical concoction that drove my every action with my mind riding along in the passenger seat... “May I help you, Madame?” With a start, I realized I’d walked right up to the maître d', and smiled awkwardly. “Umm, I believe there’s a reservation for two, Cheerilee, and Macintosh Apple?” The last part came out a little more forced than I thought it would. “Ah, but of course. Follow me please.” He led me through the tables to a small one, set for two. “I am afraid Mr. Apple has not arrived yet. Would you care for something to drink?” “Just water, please.” He nodded and trotted smartly away. I settled onto my cushion and looked around at the other couples enjoying their dinners. Suddenly, I felt very out of place, and started getting that nervous feeling in my stomach again. I started fidgeting as I wondered what could be keeping Big Mac. Maybe he’d gotten cold hooves and decided not to show? No, I couldn’t start thinking like that. But what if...? “Miss Cheerilee?” The voice was deep enough to pass for thunder. I looked up, and the fluttering in my belly intensified. Big Macintosh stood there across the table from me, ears flicking nervously as he stared at me. Something seemed off about him, and I realized with a start that the yoke he always seemed to be wearing was absent, replaced by a simple bag for his bits. He looked like a completely different pony without it, and I stumbled for a greeting. “Umm, hi, Macintosh,” I managed to get out, sounding a lot more formal than I’d intended. He seemed to be at a loss for words, and sat down awkwardly. “You look... nice.” “Thanks.” We both stared at each other awkwardly, and I finally broke it to stare at the ground, feeling my cheeks burning. I really hoped that it was dark enough he didn’t notice. “Here is your water Madame. And for you, Sir?” the maître d' asked as he trotted back over, setting down the glass in front of me. “Orange juice please,” he rumbled quietly. “Very well. Your waiter will be with you shortly.” He trotted back toward the door and disappeared inside. “Never thought I’d see an Apple drinking orange juice.” Horseapples, that sounded a lot funnier in my head. I folded my ears in embarrassment as he looked at me quizzically. “Little variety don’t hurt,” he replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “That is true.” I mentally kicked myself as the words left my mouth. I’d talked with him dozens of times before about Apple Bloom’s grades, why was it so hard now? I took a drink of my water in an effort to hide my sheepish blush. “Hello, I’m Special Course, and I’ll be your waiter tonight,” a skinny colt said with a smile as he trotted up. He pulled two menus from his saddlebags and hoofed them over to us. “Our special tonight is a bowl of circle sliced potatoes, carrots, and mushrooms, seasoned carefully before being baked in our oven with hickory logs.” I perused the menu for a few seconds before I came to a decision. “I think I’m going to go with the hazelnut spinach salad, light on the croutons, and with apple pieces.” “An excellent choice, and for you sir?” The colt turned to Macintosh. “Veggie stew. An’ salad,” he replied, taking another drink of his orange juice. “Alright. I’ll be right back with your meal, just let me know if you need refills.” He hurried off into the restaurant. I took another drink of my water and tried very hard to not stare at Macintosh, though every so often I could’ve sworn I caught him doing the same. Was he as nervous about this as I was? The silence was growing unbearable, and finally I had to say something. “So, is the farm doing well?” “Eeyup.” He took another swig from his orange juice. “Apple Bloom’s studies goin’ well?” “Yes.” For a moment I considered just leaving it at that – I didn’t want our date to turn into a guardian-teacher conference. However, after a sip of my water I couldn’t help adding. “Though she needs to study her math more, and her history homework was turned in late.” “I’ll talk to ‘er.” The conversation sputtered out and we were reduced to staring awkwardly at the table and each other again. I glanced around the other tables and twitched caught Lily shooting me a snide glance. For a split second I wondered why, then remembered the stallion sitting across from the table from me. I don’t follow town gossip much, but it wasn’t difficult to hear about various attempts to lay claim to that apple tree. All ended in failure, punctuated by the orange guardian of Sweet Apple Acres and all the Apples within. Not even Cloud Kicker had ever managed to get past Applejack. I gulped as I realized the position that I now sat in, and wondered just what Applejack would do to me when she found out. “Somethin’ wrong?” He tilted his head, then must’ve caught on to Lily’s staring. With a toss of his head he glared right back at her, and the chastised mare returned to her meal. “Thanks,” I said with a small smile as I glanced down at the table. “Don’ mention it.” Special Course finally returned with our food and I gratefully began to eat. Almost immediately I had to make a mental note to thank Twilight for telling me about this place, their salads were wonderful. “So...” Macintosh’s voice broke the renewed silence, the stallion tapping a hoof lightly on the ground, “How’re things?” I stopped eating for a moment. Big Macintosh using proper grammar was in itself a rare event, but I’d not expected that question, to be honest. “I’m doing alright.” I remembered the impending teacher’s evaluation and hoped my voice hadn’t given it away. “Trouble?” His voice was steady, rock-solid. Damn, so much for keeping it to myself. “Well, there’s an evaluation coming up. For teachers all over Equestria, that is.” I sighed. “I’m just a little worried about it is all.” I took another mouthful of salad and chewed quietly. “You’ll do fine.” I smiled. “Thanks, Big Mac.” He nodded with a smile, and I felt my cheeks starting to burn again. I looked down to take another bite of salad and blinked as I saw the bowl was empty. “Well, that’s surprising. Do you... do you want to get some dessert?” “Nnope.” Macintosh lifted the bag from around his neck, while I retrieved mine. He glanced at it for a second, and I thought he was going to offer to pay for the whole thing, but he dug out enough for his own meal, plus the tip. I set my own bits down and got to my hooves. “Well, this has been a wonderful time, Mac.” “Eeyup. I’ll walk you home.” He rose to his hooves and together we left the restaurant. Walking down the street, I found myself shooting him the occasional glance, and swore that I saw him doing the same. After another few minutes I found myself drifting closer, my side brushing against his. He initially shied away, but soon responded by leaning back. I smiled at him, my cheeks burning again. I started drifting even closer to him... And that’s when it hit me. I remembered the last time I’d done this, and I abruptly shied a step away. From the embarrassed flicking of his ears, Macintosh had realized the same thing. The rest of the walk back passed silently, neither of us wanting to look at the other. Finally, we arrived at my house, and I trotted up to the door. “Well, this was a very nice night Big Mac. I’ll... see you around.” I hesitated for a second, staring into his green eyes. He stared back at me, seeming to be torn. But he finally smiled and started to turn to leave. “Eeyup.” I suppose I should have seen it coming. His hoof slipped on my top step, and he started to fall. I began to move forward to try and catch him, as his other three legs braced himself. He started to lift his head back toward me as I finished moving forward, and we made contact. We both froze. I felt the soft warmth of his lips against mine, and the heat that had been stubbornly living in my cheeks surged across my body. I wanted to pull away, maybe I should have, but I found myself leaning into it with a little sigh, feeling him beginning to do the same. ”He's my shmoopy-doopy sweety-weety pony pie.” I froze. The memories surged back to the front, feeling myself saying and doing those things all on my own, without even making the choice in the first place. It’d just felt so... right. Just like now. With a hissing gasp I broke the kiss and backed up against my door, breathing hard. Mac took a few steps back as well, looking equally distressed. “I... I umm... I should get some sleep, lots of things to do tomorrow,” I stammered out, awkwardly reaching for the door handle behind me. “Eeyup,” Mac answered as he glanced at the ground. “Ah’ll be seein’ ya around, then.” He turned and started to trot down the street, but then stopped and looked back. “If’n ya wouldn’t mind, that is. Ah’d hate to impose.” He hurried down the street before I could even answer. The fact that he’d been speaking in grammatically proper sentences was shocking enough to leave me at a loss for words in any case. I opened my door and nearly fell in, walking slowly across the floor to my couch, where I just collapsed. I took a few shaky breaths to try and calm myself down. “It’s alright, you got checked out by both the hospital and Zecora. The love poison is out of your system, Cheerilee.” But... Was it really? Could there have been a side effect that nopony knew about? Nopony had even really considered the concoction in the fable to be real. Maybe there was some lingering effect after all. I brushed my lips with a hoof, feeling a lingering sensation of his lips pressed against mine, the heat from our bodies blending together. How good it felt to kiss him, accidentally or not. “Is it really me feeling it though?” My house ignored the pleading question.