//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 // Story: Archives of the Friendquisition // by Inquisipony Stallius //------------------------------// Chapter 1 The heavy rain beat rhythmically against the windows of the Lazy Saddle Tavern. It was the last stop on the road from Holy Canterlot before reaching the sprawling cityscape of Hippopolis, only a few hours walk away. Outlines of the city’s majestic spires could be seen on the horizon with every flash of lighting. Knowing of the scheduled thunderstorm beforehand, much of the townsfolk from the surrounding farmland came to the tavern to wait out the rain with good company and a tall glass of cider. The crowd was earth-pony gardeners and farm-hands mostly, but a couple unicorns sat together with a table to themselves, and one pegasus Meq-Adept discussed a new thresher design with a few interested buyers. The air hummed with their cheerful chatter, until the door swung open. For a moment all eyes turned to the open door, and the room fell silent. A pony strode in, wearing a leather cloak and a hat with a brim that obscured his eyes, but not his salt-and-pepper coat. The garments were soaked, and a puddle began to form on the floor where he stopped just inside the doorway. Another, much larger figure dressed much the same followed behind him. He was a light shade of brown, built like a draft horse, and sported a small goatee. The first gave a slight nod, and the bulky companion found his way to an empty table against the wall. Then the stranger approached the barkeep. “My friend and I will have two glasses,” he said quietly. The barkeep blinked for a moment, but nodded and went to fetch the tall mugs. Murmurs of conversation returned to the room, though with a more guarded tone than before. “You two aren’t from around here, I see,” said the barkeep when he returned with the drinks and a somewhat forced smile. “We get folks passing through here all the time on the road to Hippopolis, but most of ‘em check the weather forecast beforehand.  Did you forget we were getting a storm?” “We have pressing business,” the strange pony replied. “It couldn’t wait.” He took both glasses back to the table where his companion was, and both drank their ciders without so much as a word between them. They surveyed the room, just as several patrons around it eyed them back nervously. When the stranger finished his glass, he brought it back to the bar. “Another, please,” he said. As the barkeep refilled his glass, he turned to the stranger. “Is there anything else you need? A place to spend the night, maybe? The rain’s supposed to let up, but not until late. Everypony else will head home once it does, but Hippopolis is still too far to make it before nightfall.” “That won’t be necessary,” replied the stranger. Then, as he was about to leave again, he leaned in. “Actually, perhaps there is something else you can help us with.” At this, the barkeep cocked his head. “You name it, friend. Whatever we can do. We here at the Lazy Saddle pride ourselves on our hospitality.” “We’re here on behalf of some market vendors from Holy Canterlot, and we’re supposed to meet a supplier from around here tomorrow. Since we got here early, and everypony seems to be here right now, maybe you could point him out for us.” “Uh, sure,” the barkeep said, “who are you looking for?” “A pony by the name of Seedy Core, owner of Malus Orchards.” The barkeep seemed suddenly relieved. “Oh, everypony knows Seedy around here. His is the biggest orchard in town. Let’s see… Yup, there he is, with some of his buddies over in that corner.” He pointed to a table where several ponies were huddled, apparently playing a card game. The stranger thanked him, paid for the drinks, and strode across the room toward Seedy’s table “Excuse me, gentleponies,” he said as he approached them, “but I’m looking for Seedy Core.” The ponies at the table all stopped and turned to face the stranger. The one directly opposite, a stocky pony with a wiry, unkempt mane and a plow harness spoke up. “Well, you found him. Something I can do for you?” “My name is Caballus,” he answered, “and I’d like to discuss a shipment from your Orchard that arrived in Holy Canterlot a few days ago.” Caballus reached into a saddlebag under his cloak and set a bright red apple on the table. The orchard owner inspected the fruit for a moment. “Could be one of mine… Is there some sort of problem with it?” “Actually, there is.” In a burst of motion, Caballus dove across the table, tackling Seedy and pinning him against the wall. Seedy’s friends around the table all jumped to their feet. Before any of them could intervene, however, Caballus’s companion was amongst them. Though outnumbered, the massive stallion had little trouble keeping the disorganized group at bay while Caballus held Seedy. “I’d call this a problem,” he growled, smashing the apple and holding up the mashed fruit to Seedy’s face. The pulp was writhing with ugly, bloated worms. “Your whole shipment was infested with Cheat-worms.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” cried the squirming pony. Others, many of whom worked for Seedy, were getting up at other tables. Soon there would be more than Caballus’s brawling companion could handle. A couple had drawn slingshots, pulling them back with their teeth and pointing them menacingly at the pair. But none of them fired. Everypony who was holding a slingshot suddenly felt something pressed to the back of their own heads.  A half-dozen pies floated in mid air, each suffused by a green glow. A female unicorn of the same green hue strode nonchalantly into the middle of the group, her horn giving off the same green glow. “I thought it looked like you could use a hoof, sir,” She said with a casual tone. “Much obliged, Mystic,” said Caballus. He shoved Seedy over to his large ally. “Roughshod, take him outside. We need to talk to him privately.” “Sure thing, boss,” Roughshod said with a grin, manhandling Seedy toward the door. Some of the farmhands began to protest. ”I suggest you all stay out of our business,” Caballus announced, holding up his hoof to the mob. In it was a stylized F with three bars behind it, and the symbol of his absolute authority. “Friendquisition.” The several ponies in the crowd gasped and others staggered backward. None challenged him. They simply watched, eyes and mouths wide, as the Inquisipony dragged their friend and neighbor away. Once the group was outside, Roughshod shoved Seedy into the mud. “Cheat-worms are an exotic and very, very illegal species, Seedy,” Caballus said, talking over the downpour with an authoritative tone. “Fruit contaminated with Cheat-worm eggs are almost impossible to detect because they look perfectly healthy. Better than perfect, in fact, because the eggs cast an illusion that makes them even more enticing to pony eyes. That’s why they’re called ‘Cheat-worms.’ Because an unscrupulous businesspony can infect his crop, sell it at a premium, and skip town before everypony gets sick.” “Please!” Seedy cried, his tears invisible in the rain, “please, I-I had no idea about the worms. Please don’t-“ Roughshod lifted Seedy up by his harness again, until his hind legs flailed around trying to reach the ground. “Unfortunately for you,” Caballus continued, “one of your crates was delayed long enough for the worms to hatch before they could be eaten. It had already made it past two magical inspections before it was discovered.” Caballus stepped in close to Seedy’s face. His eyes narrowed. “That shipment was to be delivered to a garrison of Holy Canterlot’s Equestrian Guard. Not only are you dealing in dangerous and forbidden wildlife, but you threatened the security of Princess Celestia Herself.” By now his voice seethed with barely-restrained anger. “Tell me where you got them.” Seedy began to tremble harder, less now from being cold and wet, and more from sheer terror. The Friendquisition weren’t known for their mercy. Nor did they deal with crimes that carried anything less than the harshest punishments. “It-it’s not m-my f-fault,” he pleaded, “I s-swear I didn’t know! There was this… this strange blight going around the orchard this season. I-I lost my entire crop! Then some merchant came through town, and offered to sell me whole cartfuls of his apples. I knew the price he gave me was too good to be true, b-but I was desperate. I never thought they’d be wormy!” Caballus glared silently at Seedy for a moment. “I believe you,” he said at last, “so if you tell us anything you know about this merchant that will help us find him, I’ll hand you over to the local sheriff. If it turns out to be a dead end, I will come back here, drag you to a Friendquisitional dungeon, and you will never see Celestia’s shining daylight again.” From a dark second story window of the Lazy Saddle, two pairs of eyes watched the scene below through slightly parted curtains. “You know,” said one of the watchers, her voice like soft velvet, “With the Friendquisition involved, our plans are a bit more… complicated.” “My plans,” the other scoffed, “are perfectly fine. I’ve considered every possible contingency, especially the Friendquisition. They’re already playing their parts perfectly.” “Hmmm, I hope you’re right,” purred the first, leaving the window. “From the look of him, I wouldn’t mind doing a little ‘playing’ with him.” She giggled to herself at the thought. “We should return home soon, though. I’ll inform the others, and we can leave as soon as the Inquisipony is gone.” “If you must…” the second mumbled after her. His gaze remained fixed on the scene below. The sheriff had arrived and Seedy was being loaded into a paddy-wagon. “She is right, you Equestrian fool…” he muttered to himself. Then he smiled. Rows of sharp, misshapen teeth glistened in the darkness. “Toying with you will most assuredly make things much more interesting...”