//------------------------------//
// Pinkie drowns her sorrow 
// Story: In which Masterweaver just makes stuff up 
// by Masterweaver 
//------------------------------//

	"I'm... I'm telly ya, Berry, these ponies, jus, jus don't be respecting me."

Pinkie slid her mug forward, turning to the bar's regular with a woozy look. "I mean, I am making all these parties, right? All of them. All to cheer up, you know, everypony. So then they turn around and say, Pinkie's the party pony, and I am, but when I wanna do something that, that's not partying everypony goes oh my gosh something issssssss wrong!"

"I know, I know whatcha... wacha mean, Pinks. My talent ish, you know, wine and booze and all that, buuuut shee, they poniesh are thinking, she's drunk on every day. No no no. I shtay sober on the weekends. And Woden's days. Gotta bee a good mommy, yaknow? I'sh even trying to cut back, sho, sho Ruby can shtay with me. She doesh anyway but I wanna make shure I keep her real shaaaaaaaaaafe."

"I know, right? Like, like for you it's being drunk, but for me they say Pinkie ish a constant sugar rush! She eats fourty cakesh fer breakfast, and that'sh terrible!" Pinkie snorted. "I do not. I eat fourty pancakesh. With syrup. Shcompletely different. And, and and I make breakfast fer mishter and mishus Cake, and Pumpkin too. Pound never eatsh his breakfast though."

The mares took a swig from their respective mugs.

"...maybe they think I eat the Cakes like the pony Cakes?"

Berry Punch snorted. "If they think that, then yoush would be arrested. Like, for realshies. I got arreshted a couple of times, but it wash all fine. Like bits for the fine." She giggled. "Shee that? I jusht made a punzy."

"That... that wash a good one." Pinkie giggled.

"But... there wash this one time. I got arrested fer, fer, fer being a bad mommy. Shaid I was negligent. Meaning, that, that I was ignoring Ruby." She sobbed. "I, I was so scared, I was so scared..."

The party pony leaned over, patting the purple mare gently. "Ish okay... Yer a good mommy right? I mean, you get her food and shelter and, and you give her love. Like a lot. You'sh do anything for her, right?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I... but they didn't shee that." Berry sniffed. "If... if Dinky, she stood up for me. If she hadn't... I..." She took a deep breath. "What am I doing, Pinkie? Should I, you know, change?"

"Dash da thing.... You are alwaysh changing." Pinkie flung a wide hoof. "Dash what being live means. You grooooooooooooooooooooow like a tree. Like Fluttershy. She's, like, you know, a tree wish wings."

"But, but, if I'm being a bad mommy for Ruby..."

"Hey. How'sh you being bad?"

Berry blinked. "Well... I sho drunk, I can't helps her homework... And, and when I get wild ideash, I haveta, ya know, sometimes I just haveta!"

"Welsh, I get wild ideas all the time. And I do a lotsh of them. Did I ever, ever show you my gyrocoptertron? I fleeeeeeew. Like a big colorfulsh washpy."

"But yer, yer whild ideash are like, you know, kiddo ideas. No fence."

"There'sh no fensce here, silly filly, this is a bar!"

Berry giggled. "Good points.... but what I'm shaying ish, ish shometimes I wanna break down a wall..."

"Why?"

"I dunno!"

"Wanna find out?"

"No, shee, that's what I'm saying! It, it would be bad."

"There you go, then. Yer holding your shelf. Back. Yourshelf back." The baker giggled. "Sho you know how not to be a bad mommy, sho you know how to be a good mommy. Dash logic."

"Rainbow Dash knows logic?"

"Well, shometimes! When it'sh awesooooooooome."

Two mugs slid forward for a refill.

"Ya know... ya know, I dunno bout Raaaaainbow." Berry waved a hoof in the air. "She ish shooooo obsesshed with shpeed. But, but she's the L mint of low tally."

"Element of loyalty."

"Dash what I said, shilly. Shee what I'm thinking ish, ish if her spechal talent ish going really really faaaaasht, then she should be raishing all over. Wish meansh, leaving ponies behind. Abandoning them. But she's low tally." The purple mare took a deep swig of her drink. "I mean, what."

"Hey, I'm the element of laughter and I'm not that funny."

Berry Punch gave Pinkie Pie a deadpan look.

"...okay, so I am that funny. Shoe me. But.... you know, I'm thinking like, like, generosity, that's Rarity, and she's shoooooooo.... you know?"

"Diva?"

"Blessh you. She's sho frou frou and wantsh to be pretty, but she's generosity." Pinkie tapped her hoof. "An, an, AJ. She runs a bushinesh. Sho when the truth confli...fights with the bushinesh she hashta decide?"

"Whatshu saying? The L mintsh jush go to... what?"

"...They go to who need them, I think." Pinkie nodded. "Sho... you would neeeed.... I dunno, you'sh sheem ta be depressed. Maybe Laughter?"

"Huh... maybe..."

"An tha mi, mi jus be why all tha weird thingsh happen around you. And me. Laughter iiiiiish the element of zaaaaaaani."

"That would eshplain everything."

Pinkie nodded. "Everything."

"Everything, filly."

"Sho right. Everything."

"Like, every lil thing. Every thing, you gotsh it?"

"Oh yeah. Everything."

The two basked in their revelation, pondering the nature of the universe through the warped vision they had subjected their minds to.

Then Berry realized something. "Waaaaait. Lasht time you were here, you shaid, shaid, shaid you can't get drunk!"

"Yesh.... sho?"

"Sho you're drunk."

Pinkie showed her her mug. "Not really. Shlemonade. Plashebo." She hiccuped. "Worksh with plashebo. Alcohol shobers me up."

Berry punch nodded. "Tha... that makesh sho much senshe. Wha time ish it?"

"I... think.... I dunno." Pinkie turned to the clock next to her, peering at it. "Ish... three... ten?"

"Oh." Berry Punch finished off her drink, pushing it to the bartender. "Ish gotta go get Ruby. From shooooool. Sho she can... do... thingsh. Hey, yawanna come with?"

"Eh, shure. I got nothing better to do." Pinkie drained her mug in one, long gulp, slamming it down and gasping. "Sho, um... where ish the shool?"