//------------------------------// // Question // Story: Unnatural Selection // by Karkadinn //------------------------------// Question Since most of Ponyville knew enough to be on the lookout for a little green and purple dragon, Spike was pretty much confined to indoors. He didn't care. He'd had all his escape routes planned out the day after arriving, and didn't really trust most of Fluttershy's bigger outdoorsy 'pets' without her around anyway. From what he could tell through the windows, they seemed to sleep most of the time, but they sure woke up when an Ample Acres wagon came by. It was a something of a regular deal, but not as often as Spike would have guessed. He asked Fluttershy, and she said the wagons only came by once every couple of weeks – most of her critters could fend for themselves to some extent and only needed Fluttershy in the sense that they liked having a home base with a pony who spoiled them with love. The meat Fluttershy bought was just supplementary, but knowing that didn't help the dripping raw flesh, bones still sticking out jagged and pale, look any better. He was glad there was glass between it and him so he couldn't smell it. That week, he watched Fluttershy with eyes as intent as a predator's himself. He watched her hand out the food to everything from lions to frogs, and she didn't seem to enjoy it or flinch away from it. She treated it just like any old chore, and about the only detail worth noticing that he could ferret out was that she was very careful to turn her eyes away when they were actually eating. The snakes were the worst. She fed them LIVE mice – the only still-living things on the menu. Afterward, he asked her about it, and she explained that snakes didn't understand the concept of eating dead food, which seriously made Spike ashamed to be a reptile. The things dumb animals did to survive. Maybe she could train them to eat regular food, he asked, and she tried, she said. She had tried so hard. They didn't really want to talk to each other for the rest of that day. But the next day brought its own kinks in their household harmony. “Spike?” Fluttershy asked after his morning shower, a pink towel still knotted around his hips. “Yeah?” he asked distractedly, admiring the way he looked in the little room's mirror, tweaking his back spines. Gotta look fierce. Can't get soft just 'cause you live in a soft place. “Why do you have a drawing of Applejack's farm with bundles of dynamite sticks around it?” Now there was a question with an easy answer. “Oh, yeah, plan number twenty-seven.” He'd had a LOT of time to draw. Spike pulled his feet off the arm of the couch and leaned in. “So, that mutilated animal butchery-” “Farm, Spike, it's a farm, we've talked about this!” “Farm, sure, whatever,” he corrected himself without conviction, waving it off. “That farm looked like it would be pretty weak around the walls, and I thought maybe if I kerploded those and some of the big support pillars at the same time, it'd fall in on itself.” Since he knew Fluttershy cared about ponies, you know, not dying horribly, he had to add an addendum to that plan. “Of course I could do it at night so nopony would get hurt. But at least the business would be stopped and all the animals would be outta the picture. Then all the critters and ponies can go back to hunting for themselves and they'll be way too busy to bother worrying about one little dragon.” “Sp-Spike! I'm shocked that you would talk about such... such horrible things! I thought you wanted everyprey to be safe and happy, not just yourself!” She almost sounded maybe a tenth as angry as a regular angry person would've sounded. Somehow it was still kinda scary. “Ow, hey, it's not like that, alright? Most of 'em are beyond saving.” At her uncomprehending stare, he explained further. “Look, they can't even walk if you take 'em out of their tiny cages. Probably don't have the brains to survive on the outside anyway. I'm just sayin', they'd probably be happier dead, is all.” He really should have been able to tell that that would have made her cry. Watching those big tears drip down her muzzle was just terrible, but he couldn't understand why she wasn't MAD about it, like him. Her entire life revolved around animals, and from how she talked he knew she didn't just care about the meat-eating ones. How could she stand being around other ponies, being in a society built on hurting the things she loved? That question hovered in his head, unspoken but always there, humming insistently, dynamite that wanted to go off. It wasn't all him getting into trouble or being careless. Sometimes it was her, as he found out the day after that. Sometimes it was her, whether she knew it or not. “So Flfrshy,” he said with a mouthful of kunzite, “whsh yer excooz fr th' gms an'wy?” “Manners, mister. Oh, I just knew that garbage diver raccoon would be a bad influence on you, not that he meant to be. Chew, swallow, then talk.” Gem fragment-spattering sigh, chew, swallow. “What excuse are you using when you buy these gems? You don't have anyprey else who eats gemstones, right? So what's everypony think you really need 'em for?” “Oh dear, I hadn't really thought about that.” Her forehead wrinkled with an alarming lack of alarm. “I have been buying an awful lot of them lately and I never bought them before....” Spike's appetite died, his insides shriveling up in themselves as he stared at her in disbelief. “You never even thought about it, you just started buying tons of gems when there's a missing dragon ponies wanna kill and didn't think anypony would think it kinda strange?! Ponies could be coming here to fricassize me RIGHT NOW!” “I'm sorry!” “Sorry won't make me less dead if your friends eat me!” Then he realized how loud he was being and cringed, clapping both hands around his mouth as he strained his eyes towards the windows while not getting too close to them. Anypony nearby could have heard that. Within a stone's throw. They could be coming, they could be here, he had, he had to- He had to let Fluttershy hug him, apparently, and rock him back and forth like a baby. And pretend he didn't kinda like it. “Sshhhh, I won't let anypony eat you. Everything will be fine. I'll think up some excuse and make sure to say it the very next time I go in to town, okay?” “Fine,” he mumbled, spitting mane out of his mouth. He was still angry and scared but there wasn't any point in not forgiving her. She'd just cry more. It was funny how incredibly helpful she was... and also completely useless, just in different ways. That night, she told him a bedtime story, probably to make up for the earlier thing. She cracked open one of the big fairy tale books with fake gilding and worn cardboard edges and showed him the full-page illustrations. Ponies flailing around in chocolate lakes, legged snakes running from hordes of slithery mice, the stars outlining silly faces while houses wobbled like jello. That was the story of Discord, based on real stuff that had happened, before the Princesses had come to Equestria. Only one Princess now, of course, but Spike turned his eyes away from the too-pretty pastel ponies grumpily, preferring to focus on the chaotic mishaps. It was hard not to snicker even though Fluttershy described everything like it was so terrible with Discord around. Oh no, ponies were confused and scared! They'd had their schedules disrupted, the poor things! It sounded kind of fun to Spike, like a never-ending prank war. And if all the ponies got stressed out and fought with each other while Discord was ruling, wasn't that their fault for not being able to take it? He hated the way Fluttershy talked about the ancient ponies like tragic victims. She probably didn't even realize how it sounded to him. Back then, the ponies had been getting a little taste of their own medicine, and it was as yucky for them as it was for anyone else. But in the long run it hadn't done any good. The Princesses had swooped in and saved all the ponies, turning Discord into a garden ornament in Canterlot and starting a new reign of harmony in Equestria, all rainbows and love and junk. Rainbows and love and junk... for ponies. The story didn't mention anything about the prey who weren't given those same benefits; bunnies and dragons, griffins and coyotes. They were all just varmints and not worthy of mentioning in a big dramatic historical reenacty story. Spike slept that night dreaming of playing ring around the rosie with crayon drawings of ponies who didn't want to do anything to him besides give him great big hugs... until they morphed into huge scribbly purple-black monster ponies. When he woke up and had time to think through it, he was surprised to realize that the first part had been what scared him. The second part had been comfortingly familiar, but that first part, whoa, he couldn't focus on it, it made him want to retch because it was so different from how things really were. It was scheduled to be gray and drizzly today, so he and Fluttershy spent a lot of time together inside. She wasn't always the greatest conversationalist and even when they were talking it was hard to stay off of subjects that would get weird, but doing chores with her was surprisingly fun. Demonstrating how well his hands worked by washing dishes, making her 'ohhh' and 'aaahhh' over such a simple task, and listening to her contented background hum had Spike feeling as at home as he'd ever felt here. “Hey 'Shy, whadda you feel like for lunch? I'm thinkin' arugula rhinestone salad.” “Oh, that sounds wonderful, although I should probably substitute feta for the rhinestones on my half. Do you like non-vinegar dressings or vinaigrettes?” “As long as it's not ranch I'm okay.” He made a gagging face, squinting into his reflection in the newly-dried plate. She giggled. “Oh, okay, cranberry honey vinaigrette then.” In the reflection of the plate, he thought he saw her sniffing at him, eyes half-lidded in pleasure. He blinked, and it was gone. Spike, old boy, you really need to get a firm grip on your inner paranoid survivalist! Fluttershy let him experiment a bit with ingredients; since he so rarely got the chance to do so, it was fun to mix and match bits of veggies. An arugula bed hosted diced green and red peppers, shaved carrots and some baby corn, rhinestones on the very top, while she mixed up vinegar and oils and flavorings for the dressing. Would it all go together? They had no idea, and that was what made it fun! When she asked him what he wanted to drink while she was prepping the tea kettle, he pondered over the question interestedly. “Hey, can I try some of your tea?” It couldn't be that bad, since she drank it like fives times a day. He could always drown it in sugar and milk anyway. “Oh... oh, no, Spike, I'm sorry but no!” He almost jumped at how loudly she'd said it even though it'd still been soft by normal people's volume levels. Staring at her wide-eyed for an explanation, he watched her blush and stare deeply into the bowl of liquids she was whisking around. As an afterthought he added a little cracked pepper in there – she didn't like spicy things, but it was only a little and Fluttershy distracted enough that he could actually get away with it. “It's... um...” She mumbled a few nonsense words before getting back on track. “It might be a little dangerous. I don't just drink regular tea, it's... medicinal... so it might hurt you because it's made for ponies, not baby dragons.” His stare morphed into a concerned frowny face. “You're not sick, are you?” “No,” she squeaked out with embarrassment, wings fluttering vaguely like they could help her fly out of the conversation. “It's just an, um, appetite suppressant.” “Huh.” Well, that gave him something to think over. Lunch went fast, and then he excused himself to go back to planning how to overthrow pony society. It wasn't like Fluttershy was gonna be a big help. Something about that story she told him last night had his imagination all fired up. Discord, that mixed up pony/dragon/ram/lion/bird/whatever thing, had really been just about the only thing to bamboozle Equestria so completely. And it wasn't fair, darn it, for ponies to live such happy lives without experiencing the same kind of hurt that they hoofed out to their prey every day without a thought. Something was there, something he could use, but how... darn it, he couldn't concentrate without his sippin' juice. Which he'd left downstairs. Spike made an about face and went back down, calling to Fluttershy as he went. “Hey FS, you didn't pour my glass out already, did you?” He stopped at the last step, staring into the kitchen as Fluttershy eeped and whipped her hooves down. “Were you... licking the handle end of my salad fork?” he asked slowly, probably the weirdest question he'd never expected to ask her. “No! I was just holding it up closer because I saw a spot on it!” She hastily turned back to the sink and dunked the fork in so hard she splashed herself in the face with soap bubbley water. Sure, she saw a spot. With her tongue. Spike stared at her back very firmly while she washed things off with the furious dedication of a pony who was trying to avoid looking at the person right behind them. Then he got his glass of juice and went back upstairs, thinking. It was... nothing. Right? Nothing at all. He thought back through all the time they'd spent together. Had those lingering glances been ones of maternal warmth, like he'd thought, or actually just repressed hunger? Had she been licking her lips, not because they were dry, but because she was imagining flavors he didn't dare guess at? When she hugged him or patted his back with her hooves, did she enjoy it the way he enjoyed it or in a different way entirely, the way he would've enjoyed polishing and sizing up a gem before chomping it? When she eyed him while he was flexing in the mirror after a shower, was that with the amused face of a friend or the eagerness of a pony who liked to see their meat move before dinner? This was stupid. He was stupid. If she wanted to eat him, she would have already! She hadn't even invited him to stay over right away, he'd had to practically make her say it. So she had a few... quirks, that didn't mean anything! It wasn't like she was fattening him up to eat him herself later.... Spike looked down at his stomach. She had been feeding him pretty well. Had he gained a few pounds? Was it a natural growth spurt or what? He pinched at the flab and wiggled it angrily, watching it echo around the surrounding torso. No. No, no, no, no, no. But he had to be sure. Spike took a deep breath and headed for her room, where he'd never been before without her hovering around. A curious raccoon and rat peeked at him, but they left after he told them to buzz off. The door didn't even make a creak, he opened it so slow and careful. If she really was like all the rest, there would be proof in her room, wouldn't she? He'd just take a quick look around just to be sure. No one could blame him for a quick look around, not after all this weirdness. He still didn't even know what that thing in her stomach was. He even imagined he saw it moving sometimes, twitching like spider legs. It didn't occur to him till he was already in the room that she'd keep pets there, too. A vulture, four different types of snakes and a herd of scorpions glared over at him and he grinned his most innocentest grin. “Hi, guys, don't mind me. Fluttershy just asked me to... to clean a little, yeah. I'll be out in a sec, okay?” The vulture leaned back and compressed its wings, the snakes coiled back up, but the scorpions didn't seem very convinced. Drat their tiny vicious bug brains. At least they weren't skittering all over the place, they just seemed content to watch him with tails and claws poised menacingly. Or maybe that was just their natural postures. Every inch of his body humming tightly with nervousness, he fiddled around with her dresser, checked under her bed, peered into the closet. He found a lot of lacy things, a diary he did not read (a guy had to have some standards, after all), a well-hidden cache of chocolates and other little sweets that she was probably embarrassed to admit to liking, and an endless supply of spare collars, tags, food bowls, water sippy straw things and other animal accessories. He checked for hidden doors or secret hidey holes, opened up her trunk, even peeked under the rug. No hidden horrors revealed themselves. So, that was it, then. No... what had he expected to find, exactly? The bones of old victims? A hidden torture cellar? Stocks of dried meat and jugs of blood? Face it, Spike: you're losing it. Now it was time to get out of here before those scorpions started getting antsier than they already were. They were looking menacier by the second. He rubbed his hands over his face, stepped through the door, and bumped right into Fluttershy, who looked at him with an innocent blink. All the old fears flooded back as he opened his mouth, unable to think of anything to say with those huge, moist eyes just staring and staring into his soul. “What are you doing in my room, Spike?” An obvious question without any answer he could come up with off the top of his head. “I was trying to make sure you weren't secretly a dragon-eating evil pony like all the rest of them,” he blabbed out immediately, unthinkingly. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT He slapped his hands over his mouth but it was too late. The following moment seemed to go by in slow motion as he watched her eyes widen in predictable shock and then tear up with predictable sadness. Like a perfectly innocent, non-carnivorous pony would do when accused of harboring secret evil thoughts of eating her guest. Then she blinked back the tears and calmed herself, and time sped up back to normal. “That's okay, I guess it's understandable if you still don't trust me after everything you've been through. But is there anything, anything at all, that I can do to make you feel differently?” No, this was wrong. She wasn't supposed to ask questions like that! She shouldn't be forgiving him and acting like she'd done something wrong when he'd been the one who'd suspected bad things of her for no reason. He had to get over this! Fluttershy wasn't like the rest of them! “Look, I'm sorry, I know I'm being a jerk. Just tell me that you don't wanna eat me and I'll believe you and we can put all this junk behind us, okay?” It was the only question that meant anything to him, ever had, ever would, when it came to ponies. She blinked again and managed a tremulous smile while a tarantula crawled through her hair unnoticed. “Oh, okay. Spike, I promise I'll never eat you, never ever ever.” A quiet passed between them, and Spike's eyes followed a speck of movement in the upper ceiling corner of the hall where it ended at Fluttershy's door. A black wasp was buzzing around there, stinging some other bug he couldn't identify. He looked back at Fluttershy, staring straight ahead, and her smile that had nothing but kindness to it. “That's... not exactly what I asked,” he said carefully. “O-oh, I'm so sorry Spike, what did you mean then?” She wrung her hooves together awkwardly. He could still salad's honey vinaigrette faintly on her breath and, for the life of him, could not stop looking into her mouth and its seemingly infinite pit. “I know you're not gonna eat me. But you don't want to, anyway. Right?” She paused, her smile fading... and then it picked right back up again like the insistent question was no problem at all, barely a missed beat. “Of course not, Spike, I don't want to eat anyprey. Even if they are cute little chubby-wubbies!” She poked him in the tummy and they shared a laugh that was a bit too sudden and loud to be real. Very reluctantly, Spike quietly turned off the inside part of him that wanted love and snuggles and free food, and turned back on the part of him that wanted freedom and survival and change by any means necessary. Cold and calm, he faked his way through the rest of the conversation and went back to his drawings, his plans. Fluttershy was at peace here, like everypony else, even if she was a misfit. This peacefulness was something he wanted, but he had to break it if he was ever gonna show them that what they were doing was wrong. And Fluttershy wasn't gonna help. For there to be change, he had to make the ponies understand what it felt like to hurt. To be hunted. To not know if you'd live or die, to have everything depend on... arbitrary... random... chance. Arbitrariness, that was what he wanted, yeah. Once he'd shaken the foundations of ponydom, he could start rebuilding. By himself? Not a chance. He just needed a little help. Good thing he knew just where he could get some, now. He told her at dinner, while in his head what he wanted to say nearly drowned out what he actually said, the nicer words that it was so very important for him to put out so she wouldn't get weird on him. Spike didn't want to make her scared or uncomfortable any more than she already was; he owed her that much. “I think I need to go somewhere.” I don't belong here. “Where I can make a difference, you know, and not just hide all the time.” Where I don't have to owe my life pony who's too scared to do anything about the bad things all around her. “I was thinking... maybe Canterlot, where the Princess and all the fancy ponies are. Maybe there I could get the attention of somepony who's in a position to change things, whadda ya think?” I'm going there whether you like it or not. “That... that sounds really dangerous, Spike. Ponies could spot you along the way, and even when you get there... it's such a big place, with so many ponies, you probably wouldn't even be able to go out in the day at all!” Then she asked the question he'd been hoping she wouldn't. “Are you doing this because I did something wrong? If anything's the matter, please tell me and I promise I'll fix it. I just don't want you to get hurt, Spike...” “I know you don't. I promise, it's not anything you did.” You don't want anyone to get hurt, do you? Prey or pony. But that's part of the problem, isn't it? He sighed. “I guess I just feel like... like it's time to move on, you know?” “Well... if that's really how you feel...” His eyes lingered on her teeth and tongue for no reason at all before falling down, crossing over her silky pink mane, her skinny underfed body, the mantises cutie mark.... And he could SWEAR that in her stomach, the outline of a mouth pressed out against the skin, large dull teeth visible in a gullet opened so wide it was almost flat across from jaw to jaw. He could've sworn it. Crazy, Spike. You're going crazy with all this peaceful niceness and you've get outta here, or your own fantasies are what's gonna swallow you up, not a pony. It would've been nuts to travel in the daytime, even though Fluttershy'd said that the big search for him had been called off by now. He stayed up late that night and prepared, with Fluttershy's help. A map with special symbolic notations from Fluttershy that he could actually understand, a compass, food, water, a knapsack, clothes in case it got whatever kind of weather dragons were uncomfortable in, a Fluttershy collar so he could pretend to be a runaway pet if it came to that, allergy medicines, pain relievers, bandages, splints, disinfecting ointment, a tin eating set, a pot, a frying pan and a sleeping bag. Those were Fluttershy's contributions; the sleeping bag had been Fluttershy's when she'd been younger, and was pink with flowers and smiley faces all over it. With some specific polite asking, pleading and nagging, Spike also got his hands on a multipurpose pocket knife, a tinderbox and some lightweight cord that could pass for rope in a pinch (or tie somepony up...). When they started yawning more than talking, they called it a night and went to bed. He woke late and spent most of that day figuring out how to get all the supplies they'd gotten him into that tiny knapsack, with the sleeping bag tied to the back. Okay, so they'd overdone it a bit, but as long as he could walk without falling over it was all good. He made sure he could slip out of the straps in a snap if he had to leave it and run, and there wasn't any point in ditching anything he might need. Canterlot wasn't exactly a great big wilderness, but getting there was sure to be... fun. Once he was actually there, of course... the real challenge started. It wouldn't just be about survival anymore. It would be about doing what he had to do to get the world right. To make the ponies understand and stop being such... ponies. Fluttershy thought he was going to the seat of power, maybe even to the Princess herself. Hah. That was just the scenery on the way. What he was really after was the exact opposite. When nightfall came and it was safe for him to go, he left. The goodbyes were as short as he could make them, but he meant it when he told Fluttershy that she was the nicest pony he'd ever met. Still, niceness alone wasn't enough, and he wouldn't bug her with letting her know what else he thought was needed to get things fixed. Spike went cross-country, carefully checking the map every once in a while to make sure he was going the right way. After a few hours of not seeing any ponies for a wonderful change of pace, he started making up a song to entertain himself, humming and mumbling the words in a drowsy tranceish half-melody as he went along. ♪Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon....♪ Stupid ponies. He would fix everything. Whether they liked it or not.