//------------------------------// // Substitute Learner Part 1 // Story: A Few Fruit Short of a Salad // by BludgeonWarrior //------------------------------// It was an early Thursday morning and all the little colts and fillies were heading off to school, ready to learn more on how to grow into the ponies of the future. They all came in and sat in their seats, chatting about what they had heard happened in the market yesterday. "A'h heard that it was Pinkie's new friend." "Rarity told me it was ragged madpony!" The gossip continued on until the bell's ringing silenced them and they became quiet, anticipating the arrival of their teacher Cheerilee. "........................................................" A minute passed by, and Cheerilee still hadn't arrived. "Well.....Where is she?" "After school yesterday, I saw her going to Sugarcube Corner..." Suddenly, there was a loud crash outside the schoolhouse. "MY HOOF!!! My hoof..." "Heh....Sorry..." The kids listened as they heard mumbling and hoofsteps approaching the door. "....Geez, what a backseat driver...." The children saw in front of them an olive green mare with an unkempt green and red mane. Her light purple eyes were exploding with energy and her smile was wide enough to rival Pinkie's. "'Sup, little dudes!" She announced, "Name's Cake; Fruit Cake." She put on a pair of sunglasses from her bag and started posing oddly. The children just sat there and kept staring at Fruit. "So..What are you doing here?" A pink filly asked snarkly. "Oh...right..." Fruit giggled and took of her shades, "I'm your teacher for today! EEHEEHEEHEEEE! We're going to have so much fun!" "What happened to Cheerilee?" One of the colts asked. "She..uhh....needed some time off..." Fruit lied. It was actually her fault Cheerilee wasn't there. It happened yesterday when Cheerilee went to Sugarcube Corner... Fruit was resting; she was still tipsy from her...ahem...'adventure,' a couple hours ago. The Cakes had left to pay compensation for the damages in the market, and Pinkie took the twins to the park. Fruit was home alone. The trouble started when Cheerilee walked in, "Mrs. Cake? Are you home...?" She went over to the counter, "Mrs. Cake?" "Stop Shoutin' , I'm Nappin'!!!!!!" Fruit yelled down. She started down the stairs, but she tripped.... "D'oh! Ow! Pain! Apple! Cabbage!" She landed at the bottom of the stairs, "......I hate stairs...." Fruit moaned as lied there. "Umm...Excuse me...?" Cheerilee spoke up. Fruit got up, rubbing her rump, "Uhh...Whatdya need. Ow...." "Uh....yes...Well, I'm here to pick up my order of cookies for-" "You sure you need those cookies?" Fruit interjected, "If you ask me, I think you can do without those cookies..." "Oh no! They're not for me!" Cheerilee laughed, trying not to be offended, "They're for my students; I teach at the school here and I wanted to reward them all for their hard work on their history projects!" Fruit squinted her eyes and went up to Cheerilee's face. Cheerilee just kept smiling, trying not to be rude, as Fruit came closer. "Okay then!" Fruit stepped back and smiled, "I just had to check if your heart's intentions were true...Hehe! I'll go in back and see if I can't find those cookies!" Fruit went into the kitchen and search for the cookies. "Hmm....Where are those- Oh dear!" She saw a bowl filled with cookie dough on the counter; Mrs. Cake hadn't started baking them! "O noes! O noes! O noes!!!!" "Is everything alright back there?" Cheerilee asked from the other room. "Heh...Yeah, of course! Just need to add the sprinkles~ (I'm so slagged!)" Fruit raced around the kitchen, stirring the dough, splatting chunks of it on a cookie sheet, and then shoving them into the oven. "Ahh! Don't have time to wait! I'll just make it really hot! That way the cookies will get bake really fast! I'm so smart!" She shut the oven door, and set it to 10,000 'F! "C'mon........C'mon....." Fruit frantically paced back and forth. 'Ding' "Finally!!!" Fruit got them out; they were black and smoking. "Ack! Well, it's a good thing I know how to fix this!" She reached into her mane and pulled out a spray can. "I knew edible spray paint was a good idea!" She let loose with the spray can and soon the one dozen cookies were bright.........red..... "Too bad red's the only color I made work..." Fruit dumped the cookies into a box and came out of the kitchen. "There! One dozen cookies for all those cute kids! Come again!" Fruit said as she shoved the box into Cheerilee's hooves and turned her to the door. "You don't mind if I check them..." Cheerilee opened the box and looked at the cookies. "See, they're awesome! Now go!" "Where are the sprinkles you were putting on?" "Eh...Sprinkles are overrated, just leave your bits on the counter and GO! Heh..." "Let me try one..." Cheerilee reached in and picked out a cookie... "Heh....(Please be good! Please be good!)" Cheerilee put the cookie to her mouth.... Sirens blared. "Huh...Wonder what that's about....Oh well!" Cheerilee took a bite out of the cookie... Cheerilee had to go to Ponyville Hospital to get her stomach pumped and she couldn't teach today. Fruit had felt awful about what happened and volunteered to sub for her at the school. The Cakes were wary, but Fruit's persistence served her well. "All rrrrrrrrrighty then!" Fruit began, "I need names, your names; names that will help me tell who's who in this rabble!" She dashed over to one of the desks, "What's yer name, son!?" "Umm..........Featherweight....sir?" the meek colt replied, scared half to death. Fruit looked at him, "Could'a fooled me, kid...." She then lunged over to another desk, "What's yer name, soldier!?!" "Air Rave! Reporting for duty, sir!" He sat at attention. "Heh...That's what I like to see...." "Ugh....Get on with it!" Fruit snapped up; it was the pink filly from earlier. Fruit walked over to the filly's desk, "Who are you?" She asked. "My name's Diamond Tiara," the filly bragged, "And my Daddy is the-" She was cut off by Fruit's hoof in her mouth. "Don't speak, I'm directing..." Fruit release Tiara's lips, which now were red. She walked over to the next desk where a gray filly sat. Fruit looked at the filly's cutie mark, "Let me guess, Golden Fork?" "Uh...No, Silver Spoon..." "That was my next guess..." Fruit then walked over to the next row where she saw three fillies, all of them without cutie marks, "You guys should form a club!" She suggested. "We already are a club!" The orange pegasus replied. "Darn-it! People keep stealing my ideas!" Fruit sighed, "What are your names...." "A'm Apple Bloom!" "Scootaloo!" "Sweetie Bell! And together we are...." "The Seekers!!!!" Fruit interrupted, "Right..?" "No! We're the.... CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!!!" The three of them all shouted. "Again!?! I must be having an off day...." Fruit walked up to the board, "Now that I know all your names-" "What about us?" Three kids in the back asked confused. "You're not important enough... Anyway, today's lesson.....ahem........"