Dirt

by SomethingForThePain


Chapter 2: Apple Crumble

Rarity awoke as she always did every morning; alone. Light filtered in through her lavender curtains, tickling her eyelids open. She felt an odd sense of disappointment, longing perhaps, that she couldn’t quite pin-point. All she could recall was a queer dream, but who could remember those things, anyway? She rose, and found herself barren of a robe. It was strange that her, somepony who could not go to sleep for the evening without moisturizing her coat with a special aloe scrub, putting on her prescription blueberry-scented facial mask, and having precisely one cup of lemongrass tea with a teaspoon of honey and three lumps of sugar, no more, no less, would forget to put on her robe. The morning chill that she seldom experienced was, to say the least, unnerving.


Applejack has always been an early riser. She awoke at the crack of dawn, sometimes before even that, and got straight down to business. But today was a bit different. Knowing how much that Rarity slept (She could possibly give Dash a run for her money), she decided to laze around for a bit. The white unicorn’s bed was soft. So soft in fact, that she felt as if she was drowning in the comforter. Next to her, a curled up ball of purple and white snoozed silently.

Applejack felt a stab of sudden guilt. She immediately rose from the bed, doing her best not to disturb the sleeping mare, and slipped away to the guest room she resided in the night before. (Albeit for a very short amount of time.) She saw what little of her belongings were in there: her hat, her satchel, and her two red ponytail holders. She pulled the old Stetson on top of her head, deciding that she would leave her mane down for a bit. She made the bed, knowing that Rarity would throw a hissy fit if she didn’t, and stepped outside onto the patio.

She sighed. What Rarity didn’t know was this: Applejack was what is classified as a Category Five Cuddler. It was a dreadful secret that she would prefer to keep under wraps. It was worse when she was younger; sneaking in to Ma and Pa’s room in the middle of the night. (Thankfully she never saw more of her parents than she’d like to.) After Applebloom came along, and her parents.. went along, she started to head down to Big Mac’s room. He never really minded too much. She was never worried about word getting out; her brother was a stallion of very few words.

Applejack looked up at the sunrise, tipping her hat a bit. The princess always does such a mighty fine job with the sun and all. This morning, it looked amazing. Streaks of orange, purple, and yellow danced across the brightening sky like a water color painting. The sunshine made the grass shimmer with sprinkles of morning dew. A mighty fine job indeed. A gust of wind shook her to her bones, making her tremble like an autumn leaf caught in a storm. She decided that this would be a good time to head inside, before she froze her plot off. She opened the door, and the first thing that she saw was her friend leaning across a stove, and smoke gathering very quickly. She chuckled a bit to herself.

“Need a hoof?"


Shortly afterwards, AJ had cleaned up some sort of blackish-brownish mush that could no longer be identified as food, and had prepared a delicious breakfast of apple cinnamon oatmeal. Sweetie Belle had awoken, and ran downstairs at the smell of edible food. The three sat down at the small table, and ate in silence. Rarity decided to pipe up, however.

“So Applejack, how did you sleep last night?” She looked up at her friend with a smile on her face. Her mane wasn’t exactly looking its best, but Applejack thought it wise not to point this out.

“Uh, I slept mighty fine.” That wasn’t technically a lie.

“Did you find your room to your liking? I do hope that it wasn’t too drab for you. Celestia knows how long it has been since I have done a bit of decorating in there.”

“Yes ma’am I did. The bed was real soft.” That wasn’t a lie either. No scrunch face. 'Thank the princesses for loopholes.' She thought.

Sweetie refused to go unnoticed, however. “Sis, do you mind if I go and hang out with Scoots and Apple Bloom today?"

“That would be perfectly fine, dear! I have to work on a few thing today anyway."

“Yay! Thanks, Rarity!" The little filly dashed out the door, off to meet her friends at their tree house hangout. The mares laughed.

With all of the plates cleaned off, and their stomaches full, Rarity looked up and said, “Shall we get down to business?”


What followed was a tartarus of a lot of paper. Papers on the floor, on the windows, on the walls, in the corners, in their manes, paper,paper, paper. The white unicorn was driving herself mad with artist’s block. How dare artist’s block show up at a time like this?

“UGH!” For the eight millionth time in a row, she tossed a ball of paper to some unknown destination, and started over on a fresh sheet. This was simply dreadful, and she needed a break. She had been at this for about an hour now. “I’m going to get some tea..” She said. With that, she slunked off into the kitchen, mumbling something about ink getting her hooves stained.

Applejack sat down in the now adjacent chair and looked at the paper in front of her. It already had the outline of a mares body on it. She thought to herself, ‘What would Rarity wear in the winter?’ She picked up the quill in her mouth, and drew long, thin little lines that ran all the way down the paper mare’s body. By the time she was finished, Rarity had burst in, lacking her tea, and instead holding up a bottle of what looked to be Appaloosa Comfort. She gasped when she saw that Applejack had progressed. She tossed to bottle aside, and rushed over to where the other mare was adding a few touches here and there to what she’d created.

Applejack looked up at her friend sheepishly. “Do you uh, like it?”

“Like it? Do I LIKE it? Of course I don’t.” Her friend began to frown a bit, but before she could feeling anything too horrible, Rarity bursted out, “I LOVE IT! Oh, do stand over there. I have a few colors that would go marvelously with this!”


The ending result was much more different than anything that Applejack could have hoped for. (With much help from Rarity, of course.) Applejack now wore a periwinkle long sleeved shirt. Black stripes outlined every part of it. Over that was a navy coat that fit to Applejack’s slightly muscular form nicely, complimenting her many curves as well. The lapels were short, and they went all the way down to her belt loop. Each side had a small pocket, (AJ complained that she could barely put an apple stem in those things) and five large buttons went down the length of the coat. Around her neck was a light grey scarf, and she had boots of the same color on all of her hooves. To match the outfit and to compliment her eyes, Applejack also wore a pair of teal earrings.

Rarity looked up at her work nicely, and squealed with glee. “Oh, this is simply delightful! Shall we go out and celebrate, Applejack?”

“That’d be a darn good idea, Rar’.” She stepped down from the small stage gingerly, feeling a bit clumsy in the boots she wore. She was much more coordinated in her old work duds. “What do you suggest we do?”

Rarity put a hoof to her chin, her eyes facing something off into the distance as she thought. “Hmm. Well, I suppose there is a decent restaurant around here. What do you say about going to ‘La Fleur’s’?”

“I’ve never been there, myself. Is that one o’ them fancy places?”

“Considering that it’s in Ponyville , I suppose you could call it that.”

“Alrighty. I’ll go ahead and take of these here clothes. Don’t wanna dirty ‘em up and all.” She bit down on her scarf, and began to tug at it.

“Nonononono!” Applejack looked up at her friend, a bit shocked at her sudden objection. “You look simply stunning. It would be a shame, letting all of that beauty go to waste.” Both mares looked at each other for a moment, but quickly turned away, hoping the other hadn’t noticed the signs of a blush forming.


After Rarity had fixed her mane, she threw on a simple mauve sweater and an amethyst necklace. Applejack had looked at her friend quizzically, surprised that she, for once, didn’t go all out with complex and intricate designs sparkling and shimmering about. Rarity had pretended not to notice.

The two stepped outside, the cold quickly catching them both by surprise. Even though the sun was out, the temperature was still in the low fifties. Applejack was thankful for the clothing she wore for once. The warmth was an unusual feeling for her, but she enjoyed it. Rarity on the other hand, wasn’t doing so well. As they walked, her teeth clattered against each other as she shook and shivered.

”Uh, are you okay there, sugarcube?”

“Y-y-y-y-yes. I-i’m a-absolutely f-f-f-f-fine.” Too prove her very poor point, Rarity then attempted to stop her teeth from resembling a jackhammer. It didn’t work. AJ rolled her eyes, pulled of the coat she was wearing, and draped it over her freezing friend.

“Oh n-no, darling. I c-c-couldn’t.” She attempted to remove it, but was quickly stopped by an orange hoof.

“I insist. This here ain’t the coldest weather in the world. I’ll be fine. You, on the other hand, look like you could be helping ‘Shy’s beavers cut logs.” They both shared a good-natured laugh at this.

They arrived at ‘La Fleur’s’ just before lunch time, so the line was inexistent. The place itself was a bit empty, spare three or four groups dining inside. A unicorn stallion with a honey colored coat and a dark brown mane greeted them from behind a podium. He smiled at them.

“Table or booth, ladies?”

“Booth.” They said in unison.

“Alrighty then! Booth for two. Now, if you’ll follow me, I’ll lead you to your seats.” He pulled two menus from the top of the podium. With that, he walked ahead of them, weaving through empty tables with practiced ease. They arrived in the cozy corner of the room, where the lighting was a bit dim, but a vent that blew toasty warm air was located conveniently above them. Nice. Very nice. After the two mares slid into the respective sides, (Rarity on the right, Applejack on the left), their waiter slid the menus in front of them. “I’ll be back shortly to take your orders!” With that, he left the two to themselves.

“Is there anything that’s uh, appetizing? Or written in Equestrian, for that matter?” AJ looked at the menu before her, but didn’t recognize anything familiar. Anything that looked remotely welcoming was drenched in some kind of thick sauce. All the names were way too long to be anything edible. They probably belonged in the kind of books that Twilight read. Frustrated with the words and very unhelpful pictures, Applejack set the menu down. Her friend looked up at her.

“You’re ready to order?”

“Nope. I just have no idea what any of all of this hooey means.” Her friend gave her a sympathetic smile.

“Oh, it’s all much better than you think. I shall l order for you!”

“Whatever floats your boat. Speaking of ordering, here comes our waiter.” On cue, the stallion from before came back. Now, he had on a dusty old apron, and had a quill and notepad grasped in his tan colored magic.

“My name is Crisp, and I’ll be serving you today! What’ll it be?” He said to them, positioning his quill to write.

“We’ll have two bowls of your finest vegetable soup, two salads, one without tomatoes or spinach, the other with extra cucumbers and a dash of vinegar, and two apple crumbles.” The waiter quickly jotted everything down.

“And drinks?”

“Two mugs of hot chocolate, extra marshmallows, and the pitcher to refill them with.” He nodded, and went of to prepare their order. After he left, Applejack turned to Rarity.

“Alrighty, two things. Uno, how in the hay did you know how I take my salads, and B, how in the hay did you translate all that jibber jabber into the Princess’s Equestrian?” Rarity giggled a bit.

“Darling, sometimes a filly just knows.”


They were starving when their food arrived. The rumbling and grumbling in their stomaches were quickly silenced as the smells of delicious spices and ingredients wafted up to their noses. Many more ponies had filled up the once quiet restaurant. Rush hour. Crisp came out of the kitchen with all but one of their plates. He looked up at the mares a bit sheepishly.

“I’m really sorry, but we’re running a bit low on the crumbles.” He motioned to the growing amount of people, the other waiters running about from table to table proving his point. “This was the last one.” He said.

“Oh, that’s quite alright. We’d be perfectly fine sharing it. Besides, I could shed a few pounds.” Rarity poked her tummy for emphasis.

“I’ll check on you both in a bit. Enjoy your meal!” He went of to take somepony else’s order. With no hesitation, the mares began to dig in. Rarity was making use of the utensils, with Applejack stuck to her trusty tongue for her soup.

“How are you enjoying it?” She took a sip of the soup in front of her, savoring the taste of celery and carrots and the like.

“It’s *slurp* mighty *slurp* fine *slurp*, Rar.” She picked her head up to face her friend. She gave her a reassuring smile. “Much better than that other place downtown.” She didn’t notice the broth dripping from her chin, but it was bothering Rarity like an itch. With her magic, she picked up an napkin, and wiped all across Applejack’s face, ridding it of bits of onions.

“Much better.” She said as she took a another sip.

Soon after, the both of them had polished off the majority of their meal, and their bellies were on the verge of bursting. The other plates had been long ago cleared away, and the rest of their hot chocolate was now closer to being lukewarm chocolate. All that remained, sitting there in all of its glorious goodness, was the apple crumble. Even though they were filled to the brim, they knew as any other pony knew: There is always room for dessert.

Without any further adieu, the mares had at it. Rarity had become fed up with AJ getting her mouth dirty, so she decided that it would be much easier (and cleaner) to just feed her. Two forks levitated between them both, each one floating to a different mouth. With the cake clearing up at twice the speed, only one more piece remained. Being the generous mare that she was, Rarity had no problem handing it over to her friend.

“Oh, I simply couldn’t, darling. Here. You have it.” She pushed the plate away from her.Unfortunately, her generosity was no match for AJ’s southern manners and hospitality.

“Naw, you go ‘head and take it. I’m as full an a bucket of apples anyhow.” Applejack pushed it back. Reluctantly, Rarity ate the remainder of the cake.

They called Crisp over, who came with the bill. He left them to sort the matter of paying out. Of course, Applejack was fully prepared to pay in full, but Rarity put up more resistance this time.

“I could never let you pay, my dear Applejack. I’m putting my hoof down. Today’s lunch was my treat.” She levitated a tiny sac of bits onto the table.

”Fine. But I’m paying the tip.” She put five of her own bits on the table. The pair rose, thanked Crisp for his services, and left the restaurant. There were still a few good hours left in the day, but Rarity couldn’t think of anything else to do. Applejack seemed to have an idea, though.

“I heard that there’s a few good movies playing, if you’re up for it.”

“That’d be lovely, darling. Don’t want to waste the day away, of course.”


The two had settled on seeing the latest chick flick. And by settled, I mean that Rarity would’ve hit Applejack over the head with a slushie if it were anything else. To Applejack, it was all the same: Some mare falling for some stallion, a random tragedy, and a magical miracle that ensured that they would be together for however long they’d last. It was nothing new. But to Rarity, however, called it: ‘The, most, wonderful thing!’. Pfft.

When they left the theatre smelling of popcorn and soda, the sun was low in the sky, and it was getting darker by the moment. The two walked down to Sweet Apple Acres in a cheery mood, making conversation about the movie they had just witnessed. When the got there, three little fillies were dispatching for the day. Rainbow Dash had even taken off from work early to pick up Scootaloo. When she saw her two other friends approaching, she waved at them.

“Sup, guys? Nice getup, AJ.” She said. Her multicolored mane swished about in the wind.

“Nothin’ much, Dash. And thank ya kindly. I came home, and Rarity came with me to pick up Sweetie.” All three other mares casted their glances off to the fillies, who were saying their goodbyes and making plans for tomorrow.

“Yeah, I know how it is. I came to get squirt home. Can’t have her staying up all night, ya know? School in the morning and all.” The two nodded. Dash had adopted Scootaloo about two years ago, and she had become a wonderful mother figure since then. Scoots was shaping up nicely under her cloud roof.

The kids went over to their respective family members. Scootaloo hopped on top of Dash’s back. The older mare spread her cyan wings, said her goodbyes, and flew off. That left Applejack, Apple Bloom, Rarity, and Sweetie Belle. The little fillies hugged each other tight.

“Go along inside, kiddo. I’ll be home in a minute.”

“How come, big sis?”

“I’m walking Rar’ and Sweets’ home.”

“Alrighty then! Later, Sweetie Belle! Later Rarity!” She trotted off into their home.


When the three of them reached the inside of the Carousel Boutique, AJ handed Rarity the clothes she wore, and gathered up her stuff. Both of them now stood in the doorway.

“You didn’t have to do that, Applejack. Walk us home and all.”

“Aw shoot, it was nothing. Couldn’t let ya walk home all by your lonesome.”

“Do you mind coming with me to Canterlot tomorrow? I’m running a bit low on supplies.”

“That’d be mighty fine. And Rar?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks. For today, I mean. It was real fun.” She gave a big smile, and it was returned to her. “Night.” She started to walk off, but a white hoof grabbed her and pulled her back. She held her friend in a tight embrace for a few moments, and they both pulled away.

“Night.” Said Rarity to her friend. After closing the door, and hearing Sweetie Belle greeting Opal in the living room, Rarity felt something stir in her stomach. Like she woke up without a robe all over again.