//------------------------------// // A Battle in Canterlot Castle, Part One // Story: Mischmasch // by SpiralWriter //------------------------------// "So is there any plan...at all? Like, are we just going to wing everything and hope it works out?" "Eeyup." "I for one do not find this fun." "We agree most heartily with the zebra." I allowed a heavy palm to smack audibly against my face, shaking my head in disappointment with Alamo Wall. "Okay...first...first of all, you're stupid." "Yer stupider." He replied with narrowed eyes. We all had settled ourselves down on a park bench that had decided to remain pretty normal while the world around us pretty much screwed with every law of physics that existed. Grief had disappeared, and presumably ran back to the castle. Couldn't blame her, I too would run away if an albino mutt that spoke with multiple voices coming out of his throat knocked a friend of mine unconscious. I had dragged Bereft away from a majority of the chaos wreaking around us, and he was taking a nice snooze in a bush that grew jellybeans. He'd wake up to a treat, if he wouldn't mind the various wounds inflicted upon him, courtesy of Legion. "...'Stupider' isn't even a word." I retorted. "Yes it is. It came outta mah mouth, didn't it?" "You wanna join Bereft in the jellybean bush?!" "You wanna go a coupla rounds?! Specifically, the rounds in my gun?!" "Silence!" Zola's shout deadened our tempers, and the two of us grumbled as we sat back down on the bench. She sighed and blew away a string of dreads that had fallen over her face. "Now, words we must not mince. A plan must be made forth-hence." "Well..." I began, scratching my head, the wound from before closing up and the green blood drying. "The only thing that can really stop Discord is...the elements of harmony." "Too bad them there bearers are nowhere to be seen..." Alamo shrugged. "No...I think all of Equestria knows that Discord is back. His magic is spreading again." "So...they'll be here soon?" "We can only hope." I gulped. I studied the situation and the outlook of the future in my head, and the scenario did not play well, no matter how many times I rewound it and went over the details. The Mane Six could see Canterlot from Ponyville, but could they see the state its in? Hopefully news about a capital city falling would spread fast. And what about Discord and his little minions? We could probably handle the underlings, every one of us present can handle ourselves in a fight, but that left the biggest problem of them all...an invincible chaos god that not even Celestia or Luna could best without the elements at their disposal. The problem only thickened there. What about the elements? Discord was smart, almost like a chessmaster with his games. Just like in the season two premiere, he probably did away with the elements and hid them, so beating him would be near impossible. The best...the best that we could do was stall him. We weren't the main characters here, Twilight Sparkle and her friends were. All we can do is hope the good ol trope that 'good guys always wins in the end' is still in play here. I stood up and took in a deep breath, readying myself for what laid ahead. I motioned at the others to stand up with a wave of my paw. "C'mon guys, I think I have an idea on what to do." Before we could continue walking, Legion briskly stepped in front of me, halting our approach. "Wait." The many spoke, holding out a paw to keep me from walking. I raised an eyebrow at Legion's sudden change in disposition, if he even had one. The same, cold stare still emitted from those glassy white eyes. "What is it? We kinda have to save Equestria right now." I emphasized on the importance of my sentence by bulging my eyes for a hurried look and adding enunciation on the word 'save'. "We cannot just follow you blindly, Oddjob. The pack must have a leader, an Alpha." I paused to consider my words carefully, then belted out a nasty growl into my voice. "Oh my god, you're not bringing this into play, are you? We don't need a leader...I can understand that you dog types need somebody to follow, to call an alpha, but just ignore your instincts for a few hours. Just a few fucking hours. I'm stressed, you're probably stressed but I can't tell because you have that whole freaky 'no emotion' thing going on, Zola's stressed, and I'm sure as fuck that Alamo's stressed 'cause he's putting away that whiskey like there's no tomorrow." "Whuh?" Alamo briefly looked up from his jar of alcohol, the liquid dribbling down his chin. "So please, please, please, just shut up and go with us, or stay behind and dig a hole, bury a bone, or eat your own crap, I don't care." I rubbed my temples. "Legion, I'm grateful that you saved me. It's just...I didn't want to get wrapped up in all this. But I partly feel responsible...so I have to fix it." "..." "Whoah." Zola stated with no hint of any future rhyme in her voice. "We only wished to say..." Legion paused for the voices within to converse. "He insulted us!" Fenrir shouted amidst the sea of souls in his head. "And for good reason, you wanted to take control of the group." Siria stood as the voice of reason for the pack. "It would be for the best...Oddjob is a mere pup in experience." "Yes, but he's had more dealings with the Chaotic One. We can't boast that." "But nothing, Fenrir. The pack agrees with Oddjob." "..." "We...would be honored to follow you, Alpha Oddjob." "...Oh." Legion nodded. "Your title is only temporary, but for now, you have Fenrir Pack at your command." "Who's Fenrir Pack?" The auburn cowpony questioned. I chuckled at him. "No...seriously. This fella just pops out of nowhere and we know nuthin' 'bout him. Ah want some backstory answered!" "You'll get it later." I waved at him, beginning to walk once more down the road. With a sigh, Alamo trotted beside me with his revolver loaded and ready to fire. Zola pulled a long, whippet-thin branch from a nearby tree, twirling it carefully as she took her place beside Alamo. Legion unsheathed his claws and bared his fangs, walking on all fours beside her. For a moment, I felt pretty bad-ass. Alpha Oddjob, huh? I could get used to the title. Our sights turned to Canterlot Castle, and what laid within. Grief hurried into the throne room as fast as her legs could take her, nearly falling over herself as she gasped for air in her mad dash. She fell before Discord on his throne, mostly out of exhaustion instead of reverent bowing. "Evening, Grief! Or is it morning? I can never keep track of time." The chaotic being chuckled at her appearance, giving a slight wave with his eagle hand, flourishing a sandwich out of thin air in the other. He promptly took a large bite out of it, swallowing with a most cartoonish lump traveling down his long throat. She stood up, chest heaving and eyes wide as her words gushed out over one another, her arms frantically waving about. Discord raised one of his furry eyebrows at her. "Is this a game? Ooh, I love charades! Okay, lemme guess. You're...a firepony! An astronaut! Somebody who doesn't get enough sleep!" "I...I'm trying to..." "Is it a griffin? You're a griffin! No, that can't be it..." "Please..." "Muh. You win Grief, I couldn't figure out what you were trying to charade!" He clapped his hands gleefully. "Discord...trouble...Bereft...Oddjob." He perked up considerably at the last word. "Oddjob? Hmm...can't say I no anypony by that name. Now Dismay, that's who I think you're trying to say." "No...Oddjob...Bereft was knocked out. They're coming to the castle..." "So?" He shrugged and reclined in the throne that once belonged to the sun goddess. "So...aren't you going to do anything?" "Nah, there's nothing to worry about!" The draconequus let out more of low, evil laugh now, sending a chill down Grief's spine. Why had she ever clicked 'yes' on that email? "If the chaos doesn't keep them busy..." His eyes shuffled to a corner of the throne room, a figure moving away into the shadows just as quickly. "Then our friend here will..."