"Hello once again, audience!" Toby said as the red stallion watched him. "When we left off, I accomplished absolutely nothing and I realized that I was naked, but I discovered my long lost great grandfatherbuscus, so I think it was a win. It's important to keep things positive."
The red stallion picked up the basket of apples with his mouth. Toby watched him and said, "Did I forget to mention? I also found this guy here... or girl. I can't really tell. It's probably a guy. He has green apples on his butt. That is awesome! How did he get those? Is that a tattoo? Did you get a tattoo? You did, didn't you! You are irresponsible!"
The stallion did the best he could to ignore Toby, and began to walk away with the basket of apples.
"Okay, this is what I'm gonna do," Toby said. "I'm gonna follow this red guy with the apples on his butt, and hopefully he will lead me to a magical place that gives me like a million diamonds and lets me beat the whole game, and then I'm gonna fall in a pit of lava, because that always happens... Uh, I got minecraft on the brain!"
Toby was silent for only a few seconds as he followed the red stallion. "Oh, I feel a song coming on!" he announced. He cleared his throat and started to sing.
"He has ap-ples
on the sides of his butt.
I don't ev-en
know why he has them.
No, I don't know why he has apples on his butt!
Doesn't seem like the kind of thing anyone would want.
No, I don't know why he has apples on his butt!
Because... Da da da, some thing that rhymes with the song!
This is a song about the apples on his butt!
On his butt, there's apples on his butt.
What? What?
On his butt, there's apples on his...
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutt!"
"Ha ha..." He chuckled. "That was a song that I heard... about a legend, a legend that was based on a true story about a legend. Obviously I didn't just make that song up on the spot, because if I did, it would have been beautiful."
The red stallion walked into a clearing in the trees. Inside the clearing was a huge, red barn next to a dirt road. He set the basket of apples on a tree stump, then his glared at Toby with tired eyes.
"What are you looking at, huh?" Toby asked. "You looking at me? HUH!? ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME!? ...That guy or girl is full of him or herself. I wrote a freaking song for you! You're welcome. Most people have to pay like a million dollars for that sort of thing."
Another pony came into view from behind the barn. She was also an earth pony with a light orange coat and a brown cowboy hat. She spoke with a southern accent. "Hey there Big Mac," she said. "Who's that you got with ya?"
The red pony looked like he was going to say something, but he was quickly interrupted by Toby. "Okay, so that's a girl." He stated. "Is there a way to tell other than the voice? Is it the nose? Is that how you tell genders, nose size? That makes sense. People are that way too."
Now the mare was confused.
"Hey, girl," Toby said. "What you doin', girl? Got a little hat on to keep you cool? Tha's nice. Tha's reeeeeeal nice!"
Now she was uncomfortable. She did her best to stay polite and keep things from getting more awkward. "So... Um... My name's Applejack..."
"Oh! I love cerial!"
"...Uhuh... Anyway, that there is my brother, Big Mac." She pointed at the red stallion.
"Big Mac? You mean like the burger?" Toby asked. "Is everyone in your family a kind of food?"
"Big Macintosh," Applejack explained.
Toby said nothing.
"It's a kind of apple." She continued to explain.
"Well duh!" Toby exclaimed. "Of course I knew that. Everybody knows that! ...PFFFT!"
Applejack smiled awkwardly. "So, what's your name?"
Immediately after she asked that, Toby yelled, "TOBUSCUS! Yes! I knew she was gonna ask that! I was totally ready for her to ask that!"
"Good... job, Tobuscus," Applejack replied.
"You can just call me Toby. You special, girl."
Applejack quickly changed the subject again. "So, what'd ya come here for?"
Toby started talking to himself again. "Where are the dialog options? There's usually a list of things that I can say. Is she really able to understand what I say through my mic? That is awesome! How do they do that?"
"Who are you talking to?" Applejack asked. "What's all this about dialog options and mics?"
Toby yelled, "NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS, YOU NOSY LITTLE BISCUIT!"
Applejack inched closer to her brother and whispered, "Did he just call me a biscuit?"
"Eeyup." Big Mac replied.
"Did he act like this earlier?"
"Eeyup."
Applejack turned back to Toby, who had gotten bored and began spinning in circles. "Excuse me." She said slightly impatiently. Toby stopped spinning and looked at her. "You never explained why you were here, Toby."
"Didn't I?"
"No... You didn't."
"I knew that!" Toby exclaimed. "Totally knew that!"
"So... Are you gonna tell us?"
"Does it really matter?" Toby asked as he gazed at the clouds. Applejack looked up too, just to see if there was anything to look at in the sky. There wasn't. "I mean... When you really think about it, isn't the reason that you do something just an excuse? And... Aren't excuses the thing that we were taught as children not to make? So, when you really, really think about it, having a purpose for doing something is like giving an excuse, and you only give excuses if you do something wrong. The end!" He quickly turned his head, still looking at the sky. Before Applejack could respond to what he had said, he yelled, "Ooh! What is that!"
Toby was looking at a blue streak flying through the air. It slowed down when it was over the farm. When it was visible, it looked like a pony with multicolored, rainbow hair, but it also had wings, a thing that Toby hadn't seen yet.
"What the balls!? A flying pony!" Toby cried. "That is awesome! Unless it kills me. That would be a lot less awesome. Is that gonna kill me?"
Applejack ignored what Toby was saying and spoke to the flying mare, "Rainbow Dash..."
"Rainbow Dash? That's an awesome name!" Toby interrupted.
"What are you doing here?" Applejack continued.
"It's Twilight!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "She got a letter from the princess. She says its urgent! We need to go now!"
Rainbow Dash and Applejack both began to make their way to town as fast as they could with Toby tring to keep up with them. "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!" He yelled. "Wait up!" He started to catch up with them once they left the orchard. "I gotta... Shut up, Griffon! I gotta pause it. Thanks for watching! Click the annotation in the top right to watch the next video! Bless your face! If you sneezed during this video, bless you! Peace off. BOOP!"