//------------------------------// // I'M NAKED! // Story: The Adventures of Ponybuscus // by Supahsnail //------------------------------// "Hello once again, audience!" Tobuscus yelled. "When we left off, I was talking to this unicorn and... Uhh... I just didn't have the attention span for it. So, I came over here and I met this amasing pig and we had a great time until he turned out to be a TRAITOR!" He raised his voice at the pig that was still trapped in its pen. "I'm sure he's learned his lesson," Tobuscus announced. "but I don't think I'm ready to forgive him yet..." He looked back at the pig. "Why don't you just escape dude?" He asked. The pig snorted. Toby continued, "Dude, I could get in and out of there easily. You are a little failure pig!" The pig turned around. "That's right! You think about what you've done, you little traitor pig!" Tobuscus yelled. "Anyway, I read the comments, and by that I mean I read one comment, and all of them said the same thing, so it was like reading all of them. So, according to you guys I am in Sweet Apple Acres. That would explain all of the sweet apples... and the acres." He looked around at the trees, then looked to the ground. "Is this like Minecraft? Can I dig down to find diamonds? Uh, I want a bunch of freaking diamonds so that I can put them on my body... Is this game like Minecraft at all? Hopefully not, because I die in that game a lot." With nothing to stimulate his brain, Toby went back to looking around at the trees that surrounded him. "Okay, so these are apple trees, and apples are food. How do I get the apples? I want to put them in my pocket! Do I jump up and grab them? Let's try that." He bent down and leaped vertically as high as he could. "Booya!" He said quickly before landing on the ground again and accomplishing nothing. "Awww, come on!" he moaned. "How am I supposed to get those freaking apples? They're way too high! I need stilts. Do ponies have stilts? Probably not. That would be really dangerous... Uh! Now I really want stilts! ...Do I need food in this game? Can I starve to death? Oh, no! I am terrible at keeping track of when I need to eat. I'm gonna freaking die!" He had a momentary pause in his talking. "Hmm, let us see what kind of inventory system this game uses." He said as he stood still and stared into space. "Let's see... We go to the pause menu... Then we go to character... Aha! I have found you inventory!" he said in an excited voice. "Let's see what I have in my possession... Nothing? Perfect! That's fan-freaking-tastic! I'm freaking poor. I'm like that one homeless man who broke his pickaxe. Do you remember that story? That was a long time ago. It was a true story, a true story that happened a long time ago... in the land of Kingdombuscus. I made it into a book and I sold like a million copies. But then I got sued, because the old man found out about the book and he was like, 'Hey there, Buscus. Why are you selling my stories without my permission?' And of course I ran away, because he had a broken pickaxe, and those are like a million times more deadly than a normal pickaxe." He stopped talking for a few more seconds. "Wow," he exclaimed. "I have a lot of room in my invintory considering that I have no pockets. Wait a second, am I wearing clothes? Oh, no! I'm freaking naked! I am a little nudist! That's gross! This game is gross!" He started to pace around a tree for no good reason. "Okay, this is what I'm gonna do in this episode. I'm gonna find some freaking clothes, and I'm gonna put it on my body... Do I need one pair of pants or two? Uh! I don't even know how many pairs of pants I need! I'll get two just to be safe. After I get some pants, I'm gonna find out what I'm supposed to do, and I'm gonna vanquish all of the evil murder demons, and all of the ponies will worship me, and I will become their king, and then I'm gonna end this run-on sentance. I'm getting stuff done in this episode!" "Oink!" the pig snorted. "You shut your mouth, pig!" Tobuscus commanded. "Listen to him. He thinks he's all that. Well, you know what?" He began to shout again, "YOU ARE ALL THAT! And when I say that, I mean failure. You are all failure, mister pig!" His voice calmed. "Can I call you mister pig?" he asked. "I don't know if that's offensive or not. I guess it isn't. You know what, mister pig? I'm going to call you Bilbo! Bilbo the thi-" 'Thunk!' His pointless rant was interrupted by a loud thumping sound. "Oh, God! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Toby screamed. "Is that a freaking murder demon?" 'THUNK!' "Are you a murder demon?" Toby asked out in the direction of the noise. "What if that isn't a murder demon, and it gets offended? Oh, no! That would be so embarassing! I'm sorry if you aren't actually a demon!" Tobuscus replied to himself in an old man's voice, "I forgive you, Tobuscus." Then, he spoke in his normal voice, "How do you know my name?" "Because, I'm your great grandfather. Your long lost great grandfatherbuscus. My name is Bilbo." "No way! I was about to use that name for a pig!" "I actually am a murder demon, though." "Well, yeah. I mean that was obvious." "I've been alive for five hundred years!" "Wow! Good for you, man. That's impressive!" Toby replied to himself. "What are you doing here?" "I don't know... I forget things sometimes. It comes with being old." "Well, okay, grandpabuscus. I have to go now. I need to find out what this noise was." "Okay, Tobuscus. Good luck." "Okay, fine. Good God, will you shut up?" Toby said to himself before taking a deep breath. He had just had an entire conversation with himself and for him, that was completely normal. He started to walk to the sourse of the thumping noise. He had no idea what he was doing, and he wouldn't have it any other way. 'THUNK!' The red stallion kicked the trunk of another apple tree. Red Delicious apples fell from its leaves and piled perfectly into a wicker basket. He stopped when he heard a strange voice. "Wow! You are strong!" The voice said. "Is that an apple on your butt? That's silly. You're silly." Tobuscus walked into view around a tree. "Hey, do you have any pants? Are you naked too? Wow, everyone here is naked! That's gross. PUT SOME PANTS ON, YOU LITTLE NUDIST!" The stallion didn't say anything. He just looked at Toby with a confused expression. "What time is it?" Toby asked to himself. "I gotta pause it. Thank's for watching! Click the annotation in the top right to watch the next video! Bless your face. If you sneezed during this video, bless you. Peace off. BOOP!"