The meadow outside of Ponyville was usually quiet, but one day it became inhabited by a very loud pony. Meet Tobuscus. He isn't really a pony, but for the purpose of this tale, he might as well be. He was a green earth pony with a brown mane and brown eyes. He did look a lot like a pony, but he acted very different.
He began talking, even though there was no one in sight. "Hello once again, for the first time, audience!" He yelled to what seemed like nobody. "When we left off... There was nothing, because this is the first episode ever... Everything is new... But am I new? Do I even belong here? I don't even know who I am anymore!" He broke into a dry sob, "I don't even know who I am! What is my purpose? Do I... Do I stay here, or do I go off somewhere else? What do I do? I need a sign!"
He began to walk as he spoke, then he broke into a chuckle. "I downloaded a My Little Pony game!" He said. Once again, he was talking to no one. "I found it on this website... I can't remember it's name... But do names even matter? I don't even know my name. I think it starts with a T... Oh God, I still don't know who I am!" He began to sob again, but quickly stopped. "I'm done," he stated. "I'm over it. No more crying like a little babybuscus. I'm a manbuscus. Anyway, when I downloaded this game it had a little description that I probably should have read, but I mean, come on. Me reading something? PFFFFT! Not gonna happen."
He looked around the meadow quickly. "Alright, let's figure out where we are, shall we?" He started to walk forward in a straight line. "Yes, I think we shall."
As he walked, a purple figure approached him. It was a pony, but it also had a horn on its head.
"What is that?" Toby asked. "Is that gonna kill me? Look at it! It has a freaking death horn! That's intimidating!"
"Wow," The unicorn said as she got within speaking distance. Her hair was long and black aside from two purple streaks down the center. "I didn't think that anypony came down here!"
"Wait. Did you just say anypony?" Toby asked. "Awww, that's cute! And clever!"
The unicorn wrote that off as a compliment and continued, "Are you looking for anything? You seem lost."
Toby thought for a moment. "Um... Can you tell me... Where is the town? Yes. Tell me where is the town. I believe that is the proper wording."
The unicorn happily pointed to the left. "Ponyville is that way," She said.
"Ponyville?" Toby asked. "That name is freaking perfect! I shall call it... Ponybuscusville! ...Hey! Griffon! Griffon, you shut your little doggy mouth! He hates it when I play on the computer. GRIFFON SHUT UP!"
"Who are you talking to?" The unicorn asked.
"NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS!" Toby screamed. "Gee, the NPCs in this game are really smart... I don't like it."
The unicorn tried to ignore Toby's strange behavior. "Would you like to know more about Ponyville?" She asked.
Tobuscus thought for a moment. "Um... Uh.... Yes. Sure. Why not?"
"Well..." The unicorn took a deep breath and began to talk... and talk... and talk. She was talking about the early years of
Ponyville, the exact dates that the first stores were built, which families moved in first, and a lot of other things that Tobuscus didn't care about.
"Uh..." Toby grunted as she spoke. "Is she gonna shut up? I don't care about this... Uh! I do not have this kind of attention span!" He looked around impatiently as she talked. "Oooh! What's that?" He exclaimed. Then he sprinted away while the unicorn was still talking. The thing he was so interested in was a cluster of trees.
"Well... That was strange," The unicorn commented.
Toby scaled the side of a small hill before reaching the trees. There were hundreds of them, all baring apples. "Wow," Toby said, "This place is amazing! Look at all these trees! Can I punch these trees and get some wood? Probably not. I should leave these alone. They look expensive."
He walked around in the thick forest of trees for a few seconds before he found something he was interested in. A lone pig was incased in a wooden fence with a feeding trough. If toby had looked behind the pen, he would have seen a barn full of animals, but he was too engrossed in the pig to pay attention to that. "PIGGY!" Toby exclaimed.
The fat, pink pig squealed in response to the sudden noise.
"Audience, look! I found a pig!" Toby said. "Oh, if I could get a saddle... I would ride that pig into the sunset! Are there saddles in pony land? Probably not. That would be creepy." Toby inspected the gate. "Okay, I need to get inside. I need to. If I don't play with the pig, I'll freaking explode, and my body will get everywhere, and it'll be disgusting." He backed away from the pig and ran straight toward it as fast as possible. "Alright, here we go. Double tap!" When he neared the gate, he jumped as high as he could and landed into the pig pen. "YES!" he cried in joy. "The victory is mine! I have defeated you, gate! You little failure!" He stood up and looked at the pig. "Did you see that pig?" he asked.
The pig stared at Toby.
"You are a little cutie!" Toby said. "You're cute!" They looked at each other for a moment. "...I'm gonna ride you now." he said. He then jumped onto the pig's back, scaring it into a fit and causing it to run in a frantic circle. "WHEEEEEW!" he cried.
Just then, the panicked pig crashed into the fence and sent Toby rolling off its back and onto the ground outside the fence. "NO, PIGGY NO!" Toby screamed in protest. He stood back up and looked at the pig. "You little traitor!" He yelled, "You little TRAITOR PIG! How dare you! I knew you your whole life! I raised you ever since you were a little biscuit! You were all like, 'When I grow up, I want to be a pig!' And then I said, 'You can't be a pig when you grow up. You're a biscuit!' But you never gave up! And you ate all of your vegetables and grew up big and strong!" He started to dry sob again, "Is this my punishment for not believing in you? I'm sorry! I should have seen your potential!" His voice raised to a shout. "But I will never forgive you for what you've done! You made me fall on the ground! The ground is dirty! Look at me! LOOK AT HOW DIRTY I AM! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT FOR ME TO BE? YOU WANT ME TO BE DIRTY? HUH?" His voice calmed down. "You are a little traitor! You are a traitor pig! I can't even look at you any more!" He turned around. "I gotta pause it," he said to no one. "Thanks for watching! Click the annotation in the top right to watch the next video! Bless your face. If you sneezed during this video, bless you! Peace off. BOOP!"