//------------------------------// // chapter 28. Drink and drive // Story: Becoming Fluttershy // by Hope //------------------------------// I got my tea, and I have to say, that tea was by far the best tea I had ever had. I don’t know if it was the fact that it was the first pot that McDonalds had made, or because it was so cheap that it was good, but I cherished it for far longer than anyone at the table felt comfortable staring at me sip tea. After small talk and a breakfast of pancakes with some lettuce on the side, we returned to camp and doled out breakfast to everyone else. The morning progressed to midday before we were all ready to leave, and the riding situation has become significantly more complex. I sit, staring at two vehicles, three ponies besides myself, and a bunch of humans. We sort it out so that Linda could ride in the van, and Julien in the pinkiemobile with all the stuff that had to be moved to make room for them in the backseat of my car. This left the guys in one car, the girls in the van, and Pinkie riding with me. I mean Reid. That is starting to bug me. We all pile in and set our GPS to meet up at another park in Kansas City where the Night Guard said there would be a few people willing to keep watch for us. They could not travel with us since they lived here, but they offered us some spare money and snacks for the road, including some sort of drink which Reid took with great enthusiasm. As we pull onto the freeway, Figment and Mrs. Buzzy sit on top of the pile in the back seat, embracing as awkwardly as stuffed animals are prone to. I listen to the wheels hum along the road. The car is quiet, the radio is still off because I don’t want to listen to news broadcasts. Several of them keep mentioning me, and that makes me uncomfortable. Why wouldn’t they mention Gilda? She is in need of help as much as I am... but noone knows about her! I make a mental note to post something on facebook to the others so they know that she needs help. My thoughts drift to the pink pony next to me, who I keep having to remind myself isn’t about to throw me a party. His name is Reid, and I don’t know him. He is a stranger. But that smile, his laugh, is all pinkie. “How... How is pinkie doing?” I finally ask, trying not to make the question more awkward than it already is. “Hmm? Hold on....” He closes his eyes. I stare at him curiously. “...well, I’m getting an image of her bouncing around happily in Halo style body armor so I’m guessing she’s okay?” He says with a smile. “Oh... well that’s good I guess, tell her hi for me.” I say with a nervous smile. “You do realize we share a set of ears, right?” He says with the classic pinkie “duh” look. “Yeah but if I just say ‘Hi Pinkie’ then I’ll feel like I’m being rude to you...” I explain. “Oooooooo..kaaaaaaaaaay.” He says slowly, confused. “But... but I just remember how weird it was, being stuck without a body and I wanted to know that she was okay but I don’t want to make you upset and I really don’t know how you feel about it because I don’t know you as well as I know Pinkie then again I only knew pinkie for maybe a.....” I start rambling, my nervous mode kicking into overdrive as I verbally fling all my worries at him. He replies by sticking a hoof in my mouth. It tastes like lemons for some reason. “I know what it’s like to worry too much about impressions, okay?” He says gently. “Don’t worry. I don’t judge.” He thinks for a moment. “Except when it comes to art. Then I’m overly critical of everything.” Finally he removes his hoof and I smile. “...So, anyway. I just realized something.” He says after a bit more silence and tire noises. “We’ve got, what, four ponies in this little caravan of ours now?” He asks. “Yeah.” I confirm. “And I’m the only genderbent.” He says with a neutral expression. I shrug, unsure what he wants me to say. “Erica was a lesbian, Fluttershy was straight, sort of a mismatch there but yeah you’re the only one in our little group who swapped genders.” “Yeah, wonder what that says about me... you were, uh, how to put this, homosexual?” he asks. “So... you’re bisexual now or....?” I wonder if I can really explain it properly. “Well... are you straight? like, you like girls?” “I was more asexual then anything, but I could find attraction to females where I could not to males, yes.” “Well... I guess you might not understand as well, but I feel like half my attractions and reasons for those attractions are gone. I look at... A female, and I feel a certain attraction, but a part of me sort of pulls away and is like ‘bleeeeh’ so... I don’t know...” I kind of peter out, watching signposts whiz by. “Are we talking human females or pony females?” He tries to clarify. I feel my face get a bit hot. I won’t lie, I had checked out Pinkie. But I wasn’t sure just how that would go over with the current state of things. “I... whatever. Stuff. Wow I just can’t talk about this stuff since I merged with Shy.” I say, using myself as an excuse for the first time out of what I am sure will be many. “Ah... hmmm. That could be a problem, seeing as I’m looking at your facebook profile and seeing five or six separate marriage proposals.” For a split second I am about to panic, before I remember that this is Pinkie at some level. She had pulled a similar prank on me where she told me that some stallion had been singing about how hot I was in the town square. Or was that a nightmare? In the end, I roll my eyes. “Uh huh.” “Was it really that obvious?” He pouts. “I know my own character well enough to know that a fluttershy obsessed fanboy... or girl, wouldn’t be so forward.” I say with a grin, thinking of fairly reserved Fluttershy fans romantically bringing me flowers or writing me poems. That could be nice. “Er... Erica... I don’t know how to put this gently but... Well... some of them actually are.” He says haltingly. “What?!” I shout, trying to grab at my phone, causing the car to swerve out of the lane before I get it back under control. “What do you mean?!” “Okay first: EYES ON THE ROAD, EYES ON THE ROAD, EVEN IN SHOCK EYES ON THE ROAD. Second, I’ve read some pretty... well, interesting fanfics. The well written ones cut to black, but a marriage proposal is not forward. Sudden, but not forward.” “Hey, fanfics and reality are two different things. Thank goodness.” I say in relief. “Oh, yes. I said so, back at the camp.” I think on that for a moment. If our conversation back at camp was valid, that meant that every version of Fluttershy from every fanfic existed somewhere. I shuddered at the thought. The silence grew for several minutes until Reid smiled mischievously. “Did I ever tell you I met Discord once?” “Really? my memories of my one meeting with him kind of blur into a cloud of hate and spite.” I say with quite a bit of regret. “Oh I’m not talking about Pinkie. I’m talking about Reid.” “Oh... in a fanfiction?” I clarify. “In a dream. Granted, a dream about a fanfiction, but you know, still counts.” He says. I get the feeling he just wants to get the story off his chest, so I ask the inevitable question. “What happened?” “Well, I’d spent the previous night staying up and reading the latest arc in the Pony Point Of View series--you know about those?” He asks me. “I’ve never been big on fanfictions.” I admit. “Huh... well... anyway, this latest arc took place in an alternate timeline where, let’s be blunt, Discord won. So you know, bad place all around... interesting fact, Liarjack eventually awoke as the new Element of Kindness. Anywho, so I spent all night reading this, then I went to bed, and I had this dream where a part of me basically hopped around and gave the characters in the arc bits of cryptic advice. And the last stop was Discord.” I have to note that he finally stopped to breathe. Seems Pinkie is at least helping him with that bit. “Basically I taunted him, he got mad, and he snapped his fingers so I couldn’t dream of that particular world any more. I woke up, PMd the fic’s author, he asked me to record it, and I blogged about the whole thing. Here, let me find it...” “Driving, remember?” I gesture to the road. “I’ll just Facebook you the link.” He says as he uses his iPad to deftly send me the link. First time in my life I have wanted a touch screen device. “Okay. Well, whether that was part of a multiverse thingie or not, back to the genderbent issue, why’d you bring it up, you having trouble with it?” I ask, concerned. “Sorry what? I think I lost the trail of the conversation here. Why’d I bring what up?” He asks in a distracted way. “You mentioned that you were the only genderbent pony.” “Oh. Yeah, I was just, you know, pointing it out. Like ‘oh hey, that’s a bit weird, does it mean anything’ kind of way.” He said dismissively. I raise an eyebrow at Reid. “So you aren’t at all weirded out by losing your masculinity?” “Read waaaaaaaaaaay too many webcomics. Had mental schemes for a number of random events. It’s odd, but hey.” He says with a shrug. “Of course most of these schemes had me having hands, ya’know?” I make a fake retching noise. “Is that really every guys first plan in the event of transgendering?” “....wait, what?” He says, genuinely confused. “What are you talking about?” I feel my face get warm again. “Wait... what were you talking about, with the having hands bit?” “The keyboard for the internet!” I stare at the road with wide eyes. “Right. right, keyboard. yup, that was my thought too.” I say quickly. I can feel his eyes on me as he starts to smile. “Not that I’m not curious, you understand, I just didn’t want to get my hands dirty and it’s a rather pointless line of questioning.” “Pointless, yup. So what does Pinkie think of having a guy’s brain in her body?” I quickly change the subject. “...Er.. Ya know, I don’t think she’s thought about it....” He closes his eyes for a bit. “She says she sees nothing different than having a girl’s brain in her body. It’s all about the person.” I nod. “So... Just curious... what’s keeping you two from fusing?” I really should have thought about how rude that sounded before just saying it. “Excuse me, miss diveboard, but we are synthesizing. In a slow, and comfortable manner. I prefer to walk into the pool.” He says firmly. I wince. “Okay, sorry... I hope it didn’t offend you... I just feel better since it happened.” I confess. “No, I get it, I just... you know, don’t like people looking over my shoulder when I draw, so... work on my own time... it’s a thing with me.” He says before he sips his drink again. Every time he takes a sip of the darned thing he keeps glancing over to me, as if to show me how amazing it is. “You seem to be eager for me to ask what you are drinking.” I point out. “I... do?” Admittedly it would be a very Pinkie thing to do, and it may have been an accident. “It’s... lemonade that has been warmed to the point where it steams.” He says with a grin. I ponder it for a moment. “That.... sounds almost as good as lime and cucumber gatorade.” I concede. “Having never tasted that, I’m going to go on a limb and say it’s a lot better.” He says smugly. “Limecumber is awesome!” I say with a grin. I feel better, this is the kind of light banter friends are supposed to have. “To each their own. Rallying cry of humanity.” He says as we continue our drive with the sunset behind us.