//------------------------------// // Where Did My Cutie Mark Go? // Story: Free to Good Home: Talking Pony // by Mike the Red //------------------------------// The past few months had been very trying -- my stomach was constantly complaining about the lack of food intake, and the water I could get was sometimes of dubious quality at best. I would routinely walk the streets in a daze, unable to concentrate on anything except just trying to survive. I had a constant headache that wouldn't go away, and it always seemed like I had a cough or it was very hard to breathe. I had been attacked by dogs, cats, and various other feral wildlife. My right eye had sealed itself shut as a result of a bacterial infection, and a constant trickle of bad tasting liquid oozed from it. I was seriously wondering how wise my decision to run away from relative stability had been, but then again, I wasn't being assaulted by a sadistic human who seemed to delight in causing me as much pain as he wanted to inflict upon me. It was one fateful morning when I awoke from a park bench under some newspapers I had dug from a trashbin that I felt something was missing from me. Somehow or other, I felt as though an essential part of me was missing. I got up, pain nagging at my left rear leg, and was shocked to see that my cutie mark was gone. It was just one more humiliating loss, perhaps the most fundamental one, which caused me to renew my cries of agony, loss, and despair. I walked the streets, tears openly streaming down my face, and found a highway bridge. I walked along one edge, the traffic whizzing by me at 70 mph or faster, right along the barrier guardrail. I walked halfway across the length of the bridge, readying myself to climb the barrier. I looked down some hundred feet or so, to the river which flowed under this bridge. A great many thoughts ran through my head as I peered down to the swift current of the river, though trying to decide whether or not I should jump was the most dominant thought during those long moments. Ultimately, I got scared and got back down to the highway, slowly trotting back to the street leading to the highway. I was wondering what it was going to take to make me jump, but today was not the day for that. My will to live was strong enough to keep me from jumping. This time. --------------------------- I continued to walk the streets, trying to get food and water from whomever would give it to me. I did not keep track of time, as it no longer had any meaning to me. I had given up even trying to use magic, as I had convinced myself that I had ultimately lost that ability with the loss of my cutie mark, and resigned myself to trying to survive. I accidentally bumped into someone while I was walking, not paying attention to where I was going. "Hey, you! Watch where you're going!" the person shouted at me in disgust. "Sorry," I said meekly. At least, that's what I thought I had said. Instead, the noise that came out of my mouth was an odd-sounding braying noise. I started crying again, openly sobbing, and ran as fast as I could to whatever safety I could find. I couldn't believe I had actually lost my ability to talk! Maybe I should find that bridge again... I continued to walk around, lost and confused, my head still aching very badly, my teeth hurting just as badly. I was a mess. My fur was badly stained, matted, scarred, scratched, and in various places was missing altogether. My hindquarters were stained with a mix of urine and fecal matter, my inability to keep them clean had gotten me an infection that was threatening to overwhelm any sort of immune system defense my body could mount. I had a persistent cough that wouldn't go away, and my vision from my good eye was starting to deteriorate. Ultimately, I collapsed in an apartment building vestibule, completely exhausted, my face gaunt, my ribs protruding from my belly. I don't know how close to death I was, but I was willing to accept its embrace. I lost consciousness and suffered terrible visions and dreams. -------------------------------------- "Oh my god! What is this?" someone asked. They had found my body, but I was unresponsive. "Let's wash it off, I think I recognize the hair," someone else said. Some of the tell-tale pink and purple still showed through my badly matted mane and tail. Cockleburrs had gotten into them, and made it difficult for me to sleep comfortably. They put me in a cage where they usually hose stray dogs off, and started hitting me with cold water from a garden hose. The water shocked me awake, but I was so weak from lack of nourishment I just lay there and turned my head with great effort to see who was doing this. "Oh my GOD! It's Twilight Sparkle! What has happened to her?" one of the shelter employees shouted as he recognized my coat, mane and tail coloration. "We need to help her!" They took me to an animal hospital and nursed me back to some semblance of health. This process took about two weeks of being hooked to an IV in a specialized bed. I spent those two weeks recuperating, unable to speak or move. The attention I was receiving was comforting and made me feel better than I had in nearly a year, if I had been paying attention to how much time had passed since I left what used to be my home. My head still hurt pretty badly, and so did my teeth. Having to eat whatever I could had taken a heavy toll on my body, and my inability to use magic had caused a buildup in my frontal lobe which gave me a nearly constant migraine. I didn't have a way to tell them this, though. Eventually I was transferred back to an animal shelter, where I was placed in a cage reserved for large breed dogs, in a cluster of cages where other dogs were being held. Fortunately, I was in a no-kill shelter, but being caged up was starting to get to me. Some solid food had been brought to me, along with clean water. "Th-th-thank you," I managed to croak out of my throat. Maybe I hadn't lost my ability to talk after all. "What?! You can talk?" the shelter employee asked incredulously. His name tag read "Mark." "Your name is Mark?" I asked him. My voice was still in bad shape, but the water was starting to help. I took a few gulps of water from the bowl. "Yes, how did you..." "I can read, you know, as well as talk." "Well, if you don't mind my asking, who are you?" "Once upon a time, I thought my name was Mike. Maybe I thought my name was Twilight Sparkle. Now ... I don't know any more," I said, sobbing once again. Tears flowed down my cheeks again. My infected eye had started to slowly heal, my vision through it still cloudy and blurry, but normal tears flowed from it. "My cutie mark is gone." More sobbing. "My god, Twilight, what happened to you? And why did you think your name was Mike?" "Long story. Once upon a time, I was a human. I woke to find myself in this body one day, and things went to hay after that. I don't even know if the woman I used to call my wife still lives in the house I used to call my home. One of her so-called friends abused me to the point that I ran away from what I used to call home. I hopped a train, and ended up here. I have been trying to find a good home ever since." "Well, I wish I could take you home with me, but shelter employees are not permitted to adopt pets admitted to the shelter they work at," Mark said. "I would love to have you live with me, but I can't do it. I will try to help you as much as I can, though. Let me know what you need, and I will do my best to help you." "My head hurts something terrible," I said. "Let me see if I can use magic, as I think a build-up of unspent magic is causing this migraine." I concentrated, trying to force magic through my horn again -- except, my horn was missing. "You lost your horn," Mark said. "What else is new," I said dejectedly. "Not the first time that's happened." I couldn't shed any more tears, I was all cried out. Still, the loss hurt, but didn't seem as serious, since I had already lost my cutie mark. "I'm sorry, Twilight." I was going to correct him, but at this point, I didn't care what anyone called me, as long as I was being treated nicely. Mark left and I lay down in my cage, the cold metal causing me a little discomfort. An older black and brown German Shepherd dog looked at me quizzically. I thought I might have heard him actually talk to me. Maybe it was my state of mental confusion. "He called you Twilight," I heard a voice say. I looked in the direction of this voice, and it was indeed the dog talking to me. "I didn't know you could talk," I said. "Of course we can, Twilight. Some of us learned from our human masters," he said. "Sex?" asked a brindle pit bull pup of about a year and a half in the cage next to mine. "Don't mind him, he's still a pup," said the shepherd dog. His muzzle showed grey hairs, marking him as fairly mature. "How old are you?" I asked him. "About ten years," he said. "Name's Tin-Tin." "Your master had a bad sense of humor," I said, smiling. "I don't mind. At my age, I've seen everything. I have been here for quite a while, and most of the families looking to adopt take the younger dogs. I don't know how much longer they're gonna keep me here, but if they put me to sleep, I won't mind too much. I think I have lived long enough." "I was about to jump off a bridge awhile back," I said. "At least you were on the outside," he said. "I told you how old I am, how about you?" "I don't know. I used to be a human some time back. I had 48 years back then," I said. "WOW! You've lived a LONG time!" he barked and laughed. "Yeah, I miss being human -- but I couldn't talk to animals and understand what they were saying back then." "Try being a dog and not knowing what your master is trying to say to you. And they can't understand when you have certain needs and can't meet them because they won't open the door and let you out. Then they get mad at you because you took a dump on their brand new carpet and wiped your ass on it, to boot." "Now I know what it means to be in your position," I said. "You don't know the half of it," he said. "You might be in here for awhile if you're not lucky." ----------------------------- I slept on the metal floor of the cage, as they had not provided a mat for me. I was woken by an employee bringing food and water to me again. It was not Mark, though. "Hey, can I have a mat, so I won't have to sleep on the metal floor of this cage?" I asked. The shelter employee shrieked when she heard me talk to her, and ran out of the area. She got her supervisor. "What's this I hear about a talking dog?" the supervisor asked. His name tag said "John." "Hey, John, over here. Look at the purple dog," I said. I chuckled softly at this. "Well, well, well. A talking dog," he said. "You don't look like a dog, though." "Actually, I'm supposed to be a unicorn," I said. "Are you familiar with My Little Pony?" "My daughter watches that. You look kinda like Twilight Sparkle. I talked to Mark earlier today, and he asked me if he could take you to his place. I told him about the rules regarding employees and animals, but I might be able to pull a few strings here for you. I might be tempted to take you to my place, but I already have two dogs and a cat, and don't have room for another pet." "Got a secret for ya, John -- I used to be a human," I told him. "Yeah, right, and I was Clyde Barrow in my previous life," he grinned and laughed. "Fine, fine. I will wait. And can I have a mat? The floor is cold," I said. "Sure, just give me a second." He fetched a mat, and put it in the bottom of my cage. I slept in comfort now.