Twas’ a Thursday’s eve, and per the norm, jolly good fellow Strange was paying his daily Thursday eve visit to Princess Celestia. However, unlike most days of him not existing in the vicinity, today was actually a Thursday, so when Strange manifested into the room, Strange actually manifested into the room. The two were having a bit of a kerfuffle, one so important that it would affect absolutely nobody but the two involved, and probably everybody else too. The sun twas just about to set upon the horizon, but could not do so, because Celestia could not leave her post to set the sun.
“That is an absolutely ridiculous idea, why would I ever agree to it?” asked Celestia.
“Because I asked nicely and because I asked nicely and because I asked nicely and because I asked nicely”
“No”
“Please?”
“No”
“Yes”
“No”
“Probably”
“No”
“Fine you wi… JUST SAY YES!”
“I WILL NOT JUMP INTO A BANANA PEEL AND GET SHOT OUT OF A CANNON!”
“But it would be fun!”
“I am putting my hoof down, now don’t make me imprison you like I did to Discord.”
“Aww, discords not imprisoned, I saw him last week… or was it last week a century ago… never could tell time. My watch is broken.” And to this Strange raised his hoof to show absolutely nothing but his hoof. Normally Strange’s hoof could act as a sundial, but it had been broken since the beginning of time.
“Just go away, I have important tasks to attend to.”
“Like what?”
“Shut up.”
Strange began to close in on himself as he floated upwards. Before he hit the ceiling, he had finished shutting in on himself, and had disappeared from that moment entirely. He came to at the start of existence, since when one pops themselves out of existence, the only logical place to come back is the start.
He watched as everything spread out around him in all directions, and then some. They went up, down, left, right, forward, back, and Q-Purple Hippopotamus. To anyone who would ever see it, which is no one, it would be considered the most spectacular sight ever to be witnessed. Just a glimpse of it would give even the most brainwashed Pugilist enlightenment. However, the existence of strange lies in nothingness, and since he is a nobody, was completely bored for the next 20,000 years, until the planet of Quarmarfadon finally started to have life on it. It would be on the planet that Strange would spend the next millennia, being praised as a god, and praising the inhabitants back equally. However, his stay would be cut short (from infinity) when the inhabitants built a statue of him. Since a statue is a static representation of someone, and thus a declaration about them, Strange was horribly offended, and slightly scared, ¾ parts scared, 72.31% frustrated, and mostly confused. He stared at the statue, and the statue stared back, and he blinked, and the statue sneezed, and he went in for the kiss. However, the statue wanted to be “just friends”, so Strange decided that it would be in his best interest to remove the bones from the inhabitants of the planet’s bodies, and feed them to a snake. The snake died of cancer 20 years later, and swore that it was the bones that did it. In reality, it was the heavy smoking. In fiction, it was his hatred for anything with more than 1.5 legs.
So Strange left the planet, and started to wander the universe. Along his travels he stopped by a cottage, where poor old Mr. McMillergunny lived for a time. Even 30,000 years ago, or more even, poor old Mr. McMillergunny was a poor old man. He talked about the good old days, the war, and how everything is too expensive now; he could have bought it for a nickel.
“When I was a kid, apples didn’t cost five bits” he would say, “I could buy one for a nickel. In fact, I was out buying fruit for me ma when I was drafted into the war. Oh, it was horrible. Everybody died in the war, and those that lived died. They died from bullets, and grenades, and trenchfoot, and disease, and tanks, and mines, and charges, and retreats, and fatigue, and disease, and trenchfoot, and politics, and popsicles, and newspapers, and even bullets. You had to watch out for the bullets. You would be sitting there, minding your own business, when all of a sudden this young bullet comes up to you and asks for a quarter. And you says, ‘A quarter, well back in my day killing someone costed a nickel!’ The one that died are quite dead now, I think they died of old age. I came out alive, despite all that, and those of us that did survive all that dying went back to our ma’s and tried to explain why we still didn’t have an apple after 4 years. Now apples didn’t cost a nickel, now they costed five bits.”
Pony Strange fell asleep during the beginning of the story, and yes that was the beginning. When he woke up he was in the middle of World War Hoove, in the trenches next to poor old Mr. McMillergunny. Even now, 30,000 years later or more, he looked old and sad. He talked about how when he was a kid, everything costed a nickel.
Strange was interested in the warfare, since he is quite attracted to shiny objects. All around him, tiny little shiny objects whizzed, and bounced, and disappeared into people. Strange liked the last part the most. But something that mundane did not hold his attention for long. He looked around, and that’s when he saw it. Over in the distance, a giant artillery cannon was firing at enemy tanks. However, the men running it were being hassled by bullets asking for quarters. Strange didn’t care about that in the slightest, and so he ran over to the giant cannon.
He slipped himself into a banana peel, put on his daredevil helmet, and jumped into the cannon. He aimed for the sky, and fired. The banana peel, after being shot out, was able to retain a fire on the back, which let Strange keep accelerating. Eventually, he got up to the speed of light. Light, as you all know, is quite like a dolphin. Once you can get to them, they like going alongside you. It’s not often that they get someone to visit them, and since all light is light, they get quite bored of each other. That’s why they are constantly running away from stars, because who wants to be at a family gathering where your family is just billions of you. So Strange talked to them for a bit, but quickly got bored of them, and decided to take a more scenic route. He flew throughout space, over poor old Mr. McMillergunny’s house, through the cosmic belts (and accidentally lighting the cosmic farts on fire. However, Cosmic Joe and Cosmic Bob thought this was hilarious), and onwards finally to Equestria.
He flew all across space and time in Equestria, finally ending on the same Thursday as he started. The sun was finally going to set. Celestia was bringing it down as usual. Right as she brought it below the horizon, Strange landed nearby in his banana peel.
“Told you it would be fun!”