She stared at me for what could have been forever, then again it could have only been a minute but my phone was broken so who was I to say what was right?
She kept staring and it was making me uncomfortable, then I noticed her face changing from a look of confusion, to one of shock, and finally to one of understanding.
Another fan theory came to mind, and I began to think of her next move, she would either a) ‘knock me out‘, b) ‘run away‘, c) ‘run away and/or call some sort of authority figure‘, or d) ‘be her brony self who would be amazed by my pony self then would begin showering me in praise and adoration‘.
Okay, the last one wasn’t too likely, but I could hope.
She approached me slowly and crouched in front of me, of course, the words that came out of her mouth nearly threw me off balance.
“Nick, what the hell did you do?”
Ok, she went rogue and picked e) ‘None of the above’, I was impressed so I voiced it in a very articulated manner.
“Holy fucking tits, how did you know!?”
I may have been shocked, but I actually knew why she had known.
Jacquelynn was a woman who always took a delicate situation and turned it around on to her advantage, she could figure something out if she had enough information, she usually used trickery to get herself ahead but hey, it worked. There was an urban legend that said that she made a cop that pulled her over cry… Actually, it wasn’t a legend, but it was an urban story that I had been part of since I was with her.
In any case, she had known that it was me, and honestly, that scared me.
“Interesting…” she proceeded to grab my ears and go through my mane, then moved her hand softly against my coat stopping to touch the hairs on my flank that I assumed to be from Rarity’s cutie mark. Without the proper context the motions would be confused for a bad clop-fic.
Then she moved her hand down and managed to touch my no-no area.
Forget what I said, this had turned into a bad clop-fic.
“Eek!” I closed my eyes and yelped with obvious embarrassment and horror at the touch, I felt a tingle on my horn and soon heard a sound coming from the nearby wall, I had realized too late that I had subconsciously used my magic to toss Jacquelynn, she laid on the floor knocked out, thankfully there was no blood, but I felt a bit guilty.
“I’m sorry…” I apologized to my friend, she probably heard me because she slumped her head in response, I had to take that as a yes.
Okay, I didn’t really feel sorry, I mean, she had just sexually assaulted me.
'It's gonna be a long time for me to recover from my mental scarring, too bad there are no unicorn counselors.' I thought and slightly shuddered at the mental image of an insane pony asylum .
I stared at my assailant and moved closer, she didn’t seem to move actually and I felt a very conflicted outburst coming..
“Oh no, I killed her! Oh woe is me! How will I survive in prison! They will break me on the first day! Whate- Oh, she is alive.”
Jacquelynn slowly came to and threw a glare at me as soon as her eyes opened, next thing I knew I was in the floor.
“YOU BITCH!” Did I mention she was my bestest friend?
“Hey! (she smacked me) in my defense! (she smacked me again) I was sexually assaulted! (she slapped me yet again, she is a bitch).” I muttered between slaps trying to justify my unconscious murder attempt.
"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" she replied not stopping her slaps.
After slapping me one more time, she moved herself to the wall, her eyes never leaving mine, so I closed them.
‘That ought to teach her.’ I thought.
“Ouch!” I opened my eyes to see Jacquelynn standing in front of me, her hand in the air after having hit me yet again..
“Are you gonna tell me what happened to you?” she asked me with what I swear could be concern.
“What do you… Mean…?” I looked down and stared at my hooves, it hit me like a brick to the face and I remembered that I was Rarity, and that I was a mare, and that I was Rarity, and that I wasn’t even human anymore.
And did I mention I was freaking Rarity!?
I felt tears running down my cheeks and I fell on the floor, I was picked up and moved to the couch by Jacquelynn, I looked up and saw her eyes, there was a warm smile on her face so I smiled back.
(slap) I should have seen that coming.
“Snap out of it, crying won’t get you anywhere.” she snapped
“B-but, it’s so haaard!” I hated Rarity’s tone but I just couldn’t help myself.
“Dude, come on, we’ll get you back to normal!” she said trying to comfort me, but I wasn’t gonna believe that.
“You are just saying thaaaat!” I whined to her, any masculinity I had left just went out the window with that line.
She stared at me with a smile on her face, then that turned into full blown laughter, all I could do was sob loudly, and her laughter wasn’t calming down.
“Dude, please stop, you are killing me! You did one of my favorite whines from the show!” I instantly stopped my crying and proceeded to stare icily at her, ironically enough, her favorite character was Rarity, if it had been anyone else, I would have ended our friendship, (I don’t have issues, ok) but she made some mean omelets, and to a smaller degree she was my best friend who was a girl who I could tell secrets to without the unnecessary hassle of being on a relationship, or having to spend time with other people.
“You are the worst kind of person.” I told her, but she just stared at me again giving me an apologetic look.
“You know, it’s not fair, you are too cute so I can't get mad.” I just stared at her in disbelief.
“I… I don’t know you anymore.” I responded, then I looked at the stairs and sighed in defeat before asking.
“A little help, please?” I pleaded giving the best puppy eyes I could muster.
“Only if you do my favorite outburst!” she replied with a smug look.
“…”
There was only one thing on my head at that moment.
‘Murder doesn’t sound like a bad idea right now’
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Author's Note:
Brain cells may have been harmed in the making of this chapter.