//------------------------------// // Acceptance // Story: Therapist Visit // by ABagOVicodin //------------------------------// I wish I could tell you that I was completely happy with the events that took hold today. If I did, Applejack would be angry with me for lying. King Sombra is gone, and the crystal ponies are happy. Everything turned out better than expected, so why am I not happy with this? You know me as Princess Luna. I don't need to tell you my history, since the numerous ponies that run away from me during the night is enough of a clue of my previous actions. I was a beast, a lurking paragon of fear, anguish, and anger. Why did that all occur, you may ask? I was a princess, a mare with nearly everything that I could ask for. Why would a mare like me turn to the hatred and fear inside of my heart and allow myself to become the same as Sombra? It was quite simple really: the lack of acknowledgment of my own duties. The moonlight was ignored in favor of the sun. You could say my talent was useless. A thousand years later and I am still ignored. Twilight Sparkle has taken up the reins of Celestia's favorite. I know that my sister would never admit this, because she doesn't want the two of us to end up fighting. The last time we did, the throne room needed to have a large remodel to replace the charred marble and rug. But it is true, and I have grown used to this fact. I do not see my sister often, much like a quarreling couple that argue due to their opposite work shifts. The fact that our sleep schedules are completely opposite from each other does not help any matters. I'm back. I'm inside the castle. But nobody is home. The guards at the top of my spire do not exist anymore. After all, who wants to kidnap or incapacitate the princess that doesn't have any connection to an Element, or could be easily replaced with the bigger and better sister? No one does, that's the point. I have caught some of my guards falling asleep against the wall because they have never actually been faced with a disastrous situation before. So not only are they not needed, they aren't useful. Celestia hired them shortly after my firing of them, and I've heard them express their devotion to my sister whenever they passed my door, assuming I was asleep. I have taken to reading books to quell the mixed feelings that pool up in my heart. I cannot say anything, because I do not wish to upset my sister and cause problems in her line of work. I also cannot tell anyone. If anypony finds out that I have been harboring feelings of resentment and depression, a Nightmare Moon scare would probably happen. The pony responsible would no doubt be me. Showing off my emotions is now impossible. The only person that I will talk to is you, and you know why. You are being paid a handsome amount of bits to keep your mouth shut. I expect you will keep your end of the bargain. Tell you about Twilight Sparkle? Fine, if you wish. What bad is there to say about her? She is an excellent student, one of the best from Celestia's School of Gifted Unicorns. She was capable of defeating Nightmare Moon, Queen Chrysalis, Discord, and now King Sombra. Twilight Sparkle is perhaps the most powerful unicorn of her age group. She has five best friends, who make her smile whenever they can. She has a loving assistant who burps mail to and from her every now and again. She has the love and care of my sister. She has everything that I do not. ~ What do you mean “interesting”? There is nothing interesting about my predicament! I am going to be replaced by a unicorn who is a hundred times younger than me! Celestia has already preferred to go to Twilight Sparkle to fix a problem rather than myself! Soon enough, I am just going to be “The Princess That Raises The Moon When Twilight Sparkle is Sick”! I hate her and I want her to be gone! ~ I... I didn't mean that. Please forgive me. I'm just... frustrated over my current position. It is hard to admit that a mare of Twilight Sparkle's status is already more useful than I am. She was given a mission to save Princess Cadance and the Crystal Kingdom. My sister also gave Twilight Sparkle some reassuring words to ease her failure if it did occur. My jealousy wanted her to fail. Despite the Crystal Kingdom's curse continuing to afflict my (and Cadance's) subjects, and the endless amount of torment that would follow due to it, I wanted Twilight Sparkle to fail. Because then, I could prove myself and pass my sister's test. Wishing failure upon my subjects in order to further my own reputation growth made me regret my thoughts as I laid in my bed that night. After all, I failed my sister's test the moment I wished misfortune upon my subjects. I know that Twilight Sparkle is connected to the Elements of Harmony, and that is what makes her special. That is probably why the test was given to her and not me. But it doesn't help that night after night, I wait for my sister to call me to the throne room for a meeting on Equestria, and what I can do to help. She always gives me the same response, “Just keep raising the moon, that is all I can ask of you.” She doesn't want my help anymore. I know, that is a large assumption. But I cannot think of anything else that is possible. Celestia has taken over all the diplomatic duties of Equestria, while my job has been reduced to merely bringing forth the night. I used to be able to look over court hearings and economic reports from nearby cities, and assign guards to the gates of Tartarus with my other hoof. As much as I hate to admit it, I know that it's my fault. My inability to hold in my jealousy and rage has been the foundation of my downfall. If I was capable of holding in my emotions, Nightmare Moon would never have existed. Yes, I do truly believe that. My sister is capable of doing it. She is much older than me, and has already mastered the art of concealing her emotions. My transformation into the Mare in the Moon caused my sister's life span to decrease dramatically, since she had to live on a few hours of sleep (if she was lucky) while her magic alternated the sun and the moon. Along with that, her duty was to organize the safety of every city in Equestria while still keeping watch on her school and Twilight Sparkle. If any other pony tried to do that, they would have died after their cutie mark appeared due to exhaustion. This stress, depression, and anger over the betrayal of her sister was never shown behind those pink hues of hers. A smile was always on her face as her mind worked to emit another inspiring phrase to lighten up the day of whoever she was talking to, just like the sunlight that she brings up every morning. Once I am capable of doing that, I can avoid anger outbursts and transformations. Lies have already been told to my sister, each of them reminding her that I am completely fine and will continue my duties to bring the night. Once I can successfully bottle up these emotions and make them disappear, I guess that will be the moment that I can reach the demigod status that my sister has acquired. ~ I'm sorry that you have to see this. I normally don't cry in front of others. I usually have enough self restraint to hold it back. Like I said, if you say anything to anypony, you will be the next guest on the moon. Where was I? Oh. Sure, go ahead. You may speak. As much of an idea as that is, I do not believe you. I am not overreacting. I should have brought something up to my sister the moment Twilight Sparkle broke my Nightmare Moon form. Now, my fear over the consequences of my opinions is going to take away my position as the co-ruler of Equestria, assuming that I ever had that role in the first place. We all have our destinies, our future goals that we strive for a lifetime to acquire. But what do you do if your destiny has already been accomplished, or taken from you? The answer is simple: nothing. You don't do anything else. Your page in the chapter of history is over once you have accomplished your destiny and mastered the art of your cutie mark. I thought my destiny was to become as powerful as my sister, and be able to rule alongside her until the two of us are at the end of our days. I guess that is simply not the case, and this position has been opened up for the other student, Miss Twilight Sparkle. I will remain to be the Princess of the Night, the one who merely brings up the moon while everyone pledges their love and devotion to Celestia. The useless one. The replaceable one. Please leave... I do not wish to tell you any more. Your payment is on the dresser behind you. I will summon you with a letter when I am ready for you again.