//------------------------------// // chapter 1 // Story: CPS Chronicles: Nightmares and Wormholes // by Largefish8 //------------------------------// 'The Void...it is a gift and a curse...as our finest warriors turned on us...drove us from our home, we turned what had been something wonderful into a weapon...may we be forgiven.' 'File recovered from Atlantean facility...thought to refer to the Uncharted Territories...author unknown. ... The uncharted sectors of Nullspace were one of the last un-industrialized sections of the multiverse, but that didn’t mean they were deserted...though that didn’t mean Matt was wishing that it was. He wished harder as a pulse blast narrowly missed the Skyraid, the Exo Gene ship Icarus taking another shot as its StarFalcons harassed the fleeing frigate. “This sucks…explain to me WHY you’re important again, Aria?” said Matt, annoyed as he pulled the ship controls, causing the skyraid to roll to avoid a missile. Aria, the AI currently in his ship said smugly in a female voice “You know perfectly well why I am important. There is a asteroid belt 2 light-minutes off the starboard. The rocks will provide cover from the Icarus’s particle blasters. ... "His armor's at 45%, captain," said one of the crewmen on the Icarus' bridge. "Good...The board of directors wants Lynch and his ship contents intact. Keep firing. I want those engines offline, now." said Darius, the ship’s captain. One of the techs said, "Sir, he’s headed for the asteroid belt in sector 12. Lotta chroniton readings...could be a rifter." "Not even he would be foolish enough to go through a rifter," said Darius, "Keep on him." "Yes sir," said the tech. ... "Sir...chroniton radiation is at optimum to indicate a rift mine class wormhole in the field. Recommend caution," said Aria. Matt pulled hard on the control to avoid the Skyraid pancaking on a asteroid the size of a dreadnought before yelling, "Stop backseat driving!" before the comm beeped "Oh, you are kidding me," said Matt. "Incoming message from the Icarus," said Aria. "Do I have to accept the charges?" groaned Matt. Darius's face appeared on the comm. "You know, you can’t get away. My ship’s faster, I have more men, and Exo Gene’s got more then enough credits to send every merc from here to the Combine territories after you. I promise I'll make it quick," he said, smugly. "Hey, I can always find another place to hide," said Matt. "Where would that be? Every ship from here to the badlands is after you and you know that every reality field around here's aggressive. You sure you don’t want to die with a little dignity?" said Darius with a smirk. "Dignity's for squares," said Matt before punctuating that with a raspberry. Darius sighed and said, "Fine...have a nice day," before cutting the comm. Aria said, "Sir, why do you antagonize people like him?" before the ship shook with another shot. "If I'm gonna go down, I'm gonna go down laughing," said Matt. "Sir, please keep your optics on the controls.” Said Aria urgently. "What's that supposed to mean?" asked Matt before glancing up and seeing an asteroid getting very close. Matt settled for the textbook reaction of screaming in terror and pulling back hard on the controls, sending the skyraid shooting up. One of the fighters was not so lucky, plowing into the asteroid and exploding. Matt grinned at that. "Hah...that’s one less scumbag. This day’s getting better," he said before the space in front of the ship began to flicker and several readouts changed to a red screen with the flashing message, 'Danger: Chroniton Surge.' "Uh, identify source of chronitons," said Matt nervously. Aria said, "Look up, sir." Matt did so in time for the grey maw of a wormhole to crackle into life. "Warning, gravity pull detected, we are in the wormholes gravity well. The Icarus is also in the well. Evasive maneuvers recommended," said Aria which earned her viewscreen a thump. Matt gulped and muttered, "Why can't I watch where I'm flying?" ... On the Icarus, the bridge was in sheer pandemonium. "We're at full reverse and it’s still got us!" yelled a technician. "Captain, Lynch can't possibly survive that rifter," said a crewman, "Maybe we should focus on pulling back and letting it finish the job. The same tech said, "Fat chance of that. We're following no matter what we want." Darius said, "If we lose Lynch, the board’ll take us apart!" "But sir..." said the same crewman. "Or would you prefer to ride out the rifter outside the ship?" snapped Darius. "Better make up your mind...we're gonna be torn in half otherwise!" yelled one of the navigation control techs. Darius said, "Full power ahead. After that mercenary." ... The wormhole was quick to swallow the Icarus as it stopped struggling against its pull as it also swallowed the tiny Skyraid and its pursuing fighters, quickly spewing them out at the destination...and their prison. "Orders, sir?" asked one of the crewsmen. "If we're going to be stuck in here, we're making doubly sure that he is too," said Darius, "Cripple that ship." "Sir, we got a problem, sensors are going nuts," said a tech, his screen full of static. A navigation controller said, "Sir, we've lost engine power on thruster 4 and 6." One last tech slapped his screen and said, "Sir, magi's off the charts. It’s messing up everything." Darius sighed and said, "Figures a rifter would lead us into this." "Sir, that guys ships even older than ours. It’s gonna go down, but we won't be able to pinpoint where." said a tech. Darius looked out the bridge window at the Skyraid. It was already in a bad way. The Icarus's particle pulse cannons had all but crippled it, a stream of glowing blue energy showing a catastrophic plasma leak. ... On the Skyraid, the magi energy was messing up the systems even worse. Matt had a fire extinguisher and was spraying its contents on the smoking panels as they overloaded. "Just my bloody luck," he said, spraying another panel, Aria repeating "Danger...Magi levels at dangerous levels...engines at 12%...controls...offline." "Oh really? Tell me something worse!" snapped Matt. "Planetary gravity well detected...bearing: 2-7-9," said Aria on cue. "Oh goody," said Matt sarcastically before he looked up to see the spinning view of a planet straight ahead. After a minute, he had to look down again. "Those damn drones better be fixing the damage," he muttered before Aria said "Planetary impact in 1.4 minutes." "Uh, chance of survival?" asked Matt. "If the drones can restore control systems...54%...if not...0.013%," said Aria. "Uh, please put a little more incentive into those bots," said Matt. "Yes, sir...Impact in 1.2 minutes...entering atmosphere..." said Aria. ... On the planet below, a meteor shower was lighting up the night, providing a spectacle for all the residents to watch. Twilight Sparkle had stayed up to watch the show with her telescope, her friend and assistant, Spike, with her. "Wow, Twi, these shooting stars are amazing," said Spike. Twilight watched through the telescope. "I haven’t seen so many before. Hmm?" she said, sounding surprised as one shooting star seemed to start to straighten out its flight, going further then its fellows...and getting slightly larger. "Uh, Spike, you might want to get down," said Twilight. The shooting star had not changed direction, becoming larger and becoming a fireball. Twilight and Spike ducked to the ground as the fireball roared overhead. Twilight raised her head in time to see, just for a second, something inside the fireball before it vanished over the top of Everfree forest, a loud boom and a flash heard a moment later. After the boom and flash faded, there was a moment of silence before Spike said, "That was awesome! Best shooting star ever!” Twilight looked a bit concerned. "I've never seen a shooting star do that before...." she said, more to herself than anything else. "Hey, you think there're any pieces left?" asked Spike. Twilight said "I don’t think thats a good idea. Its landed in the Everfree forest. We can have a look for it tomorrow." "Oh, fine," grumbled Spike, "All the good pieces will be gone by then." The next morning however, there was a stranger problem confronting ponyville. A thief...a strangely specific one. "They took the hinges off every door in my house." said one pony as Twilight walked past. The other pony of the conversation said "Thats nothing...it took half the tools from my workshop...just the tool heads. It left all the handles." "That's strange," muttered Twilight, "First a big meteorite crash, then all the metal's disappearing. What could it mean?" Twilight was still thinking about the meteor that she and spike had seen the previous night when a shriek came from the nearby Carousel boutique. She rushed in to see Rarity wailing. The reason was clear to see. The unicorns workshop seemed to have been a popular target, almost all the metal equipment missing and the safe box that stored the gems Rarity used had a perfect hole burnt into it, the contents spilled out and all the clear gems missing. "Robbed! Robbed! How will I ever be able to make fine dresses now?! I'm ruined!" wailed Rarity. Twilight went up to her "Its ok, rarity. You'll be able to replace all of your things in no time. Its strange. This mystery thief’s hit all over ponyville..." she said. "Well, I'm sure no one in Ponyville's suffering worse than me," said Rarity. ... Twilight took Rarity into town to try and take her mind of the robbery. They were just having a meal when Pinkie pie popped up, wearing her umbrella hat. "Hey Pinkie," said Twilight, "Tail twitching again?" "Yeah...it started last night...then I got a doosy of a twii-i-i-i-ich." said Pinkie, starting to vibrate in place. "The-e-ee-r-r-r-re iiit-t-t-t-t iis-s-s-s-s-s aa-a-g-a-a-in." she said. "A full-blown doosy twitch?" asked Twilight, "Something really unexpected is going to happen?" Twilight thought back to the last time such a doosy had turned up. It had involved a angry Hydra and a close call for her patience. A doosy twitch usually meant trouble. "Maybe its to do with the thief that been in town?" she said. What-ev-ev-ev-ev-ev-ev-er i-i-i-i-t i-i-i-i-is," said Pinkie, "I-i-i-i-it's coming from Ev-ev-everfree Forest." Twilight thought for a second before saying "There's still lots of metal in town. Whoever’s stealing it might come back for the rest..." ... It was almost sunset and everything was still on Sweet Apple Acre farm. The only thing that seemed out of place was the plough left in the middle of the field all by itself. A keen observer would have followed a rope coming from nearby to a barrel hanging from a tree, hidden by the canopy. "Ah'm not happy with this. We only jus got that plough." said Applejack. "The thieves would have come for it anyways," said Twilight, "This will allow us to catch them in the act." Rainbow dash said "Then we get them to give back what they took. Wonder why they want it all?" "Oh, I hope this trap won't hurt them," said Fluttershy, "I mean, they should be stealing things, but they shouldn't be hurt either." Rarity said "They turned my boutique upside down." the event still fresh in her mind. Before anyone could reply, a twig was heard snapping before a rustling noise followed it. Fluttershy was about to give a yipe of fright before Rainbow Dash covered her mouth with her wing. A large shadow could be seen in the moonlight, heading for the plough. What sounded like a strangely distorted voice spouting random combinations of letters was heard, coupled with a faint clacking noise. Fluttershy was quivering all over with nervousness, forcing Rainbow Dash to push her head down. The shadow got bigger as its owner got closer, the ponies starting to worry that maybe the barrel wasn’t big enough...until a tiny metallic spider, a single red eye glowing on its front, scuttled into view, looking at the plough like it was the last cake in the shop. This time, it was Pinkie Pie's turn to be muffled, to keep her from laughing her head off at the anti-climatic humour. The humour remained until the spider climbed onto the plough, looking at the wooden handle before making a tutting noise and effortlessly ripping a rivet off it, tossing it over its head before moving onto the next one. The girls watched as the spider effectively took the handle off with about as much effort as breathing took. As it was jumping off of the plough, presumably to take the blade away, Twilight shouted, "Now!" The rope was untied and the barrel fell down on top of the spider. Rainbow Dash was the first to celebrate. "Gotcha. Thats the last time that thing steals from ponyville." she said, landing on top of the barrel as it began to shake, its occupant a bit unhappy judging from the muffled noises before the noises stopped...replaced with a clack...followed by a rising whining noise. Uh, what's that sound?" asked Rainbow Dash. Suddenly a red beam, needle thin shot out the side, burning a neat hole in the side before the spiderbot scuttled out, a small cylinder on its back still glowing at one end. It turned before its eye looked up at Rainbow and made a beeping before a voice from it said 'You were good, kid. Real good...but as long as I'm around, you'll always be second best, see?' in a impression of a 60's gangster before blowing a raspberry, sniggering and shooting off in the direction of Everfree forest, several other random pieces of metal bobbing through the grass showing that it hadn't turned up alone. "What in the name of Granny Smith's famous apple pie was that critter?" asked Applejack. "I don't know," said Fluttershy, "I've never seen anything like it before. Rainbow dash said "Who cares? We got a chance to find out where they're taking all our stuff." before taking off after them, clearly peeved over the tiny bot calling her 'second best'. ... The ponies followed after the metal spiders for quite a distance into the forest. However, they stopped when they came across something really unfamiliar: a large trench in the earth that stretched on for many, many yards. Twilight remembered back to the shooting star from the previous night, the drama with the metal thieves having caused it to slip her memory. Several pieces of semi-melted metal were stuck in the trench. The ponies also noted a few red eyes looking from the sides of the trench...clearly a few of the ‘spiders’ had remained behind. "Did these things come from the shooting star?" she said to herself. The group didn’t see any of the ‘spiderbots’ before reaching where something had caused the dirt to pile up, flashes of light and crackling coming from the other side. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie stopped and started vibrating. "Guys, the doozy, it's really, really close," she said. The group headed up the slope and peered over the edge to see a large metal machine, the origin of the trench, piled up against the far end. The spiders were all dropping their loot in a pile where several more grabbed a piece and carried it up to one of the many holes and began to weld it into place. "Ooh, ooh, what if they're aliens from another planet who have crashed onto Equestria and are using all the metal they can find to rebuild their spaceship?" said Pinkie. The other ponies turned to look at her. Even for Pinkie, that comment was random. A voice, however began to be heard, arguing "...said that you found that gem. I can;t believe you stole it." said a male voice. Muffled speech was heard before the first voice said "Yes, I know you needed a replacement but for smegs sake. I have enough trouble without an angry mob." "Who was that?" asked Rainbow Dash. "I hope it isn't a diamond dog," said Rarity with a shudder. A bipedal silhouette came into view, one of the spiders following it along the side of the ship. "Fine...but for the record...scans said we coulda found a decent data diamond easy without petty thievery...where did the drones find all this metal anyway?" said the silhouette. Just then, a rather strange creature walked into view. In a way, it looked sort of like a diamond dog, only he wore clothes on all his body instead of just the chest, he had no tail and paws, his face was rather flat, and the only hair was growing on top of his head. There were also several bandages on him and a black eye, some of the bandages around the creatures chest. Obviously the 'landing' had not been intentional. "Look...the longer we're here, the more time the Icarus has to find us. Sooner we're up and running, the sooner we put a few lightyears between us and them." said the creature. The spiders twittered a bit more. "I don't know how we're gonna get back into Nullspace," snapped the creature, "Maybe we'll be able to find a portal in another part of the galaxy or something. Just get this thing fixed." Another, female voice, its owner unseen, said "Captain Lynch...I cannot detect another wormhole for over 400 lightyears. It is most likely the only exit is the way we arrived... Organic scanners are still rebooting however." The ponies started to back away. "Uh, maybe there's a book about this kind of thing in the library," said Twilight Sparkle. "A book about alien visitors, are you serious?" asked Rarity. Twilight pushed a bush aside and was about to reply when she turned to be eye to eye with another of the ‘spiderbots’ which said happily "There you are." The ponies gave off small shrieks of fright, inadvertedly backing up and falling down into the crater. ... Matt was panning his plasma pistol around when he heard several cries of fright, spinning to see several ponies falling down the side of the Skyraids landing trench. One of the spiderbots turned as well and said in their weird language "Hey...those are the smegheads who dropped a barrel on me." Matt looked at the ponies and said, "Ok, what's with the multicolored horses?" "Sir...these might be some of the locals." said Aria. "So They're just minature horses," said Matt. One of the other drones scuttled up to one of the dazed ponies and poked it before chirping "Lets blast em." before all the drones folded out their ion lasers. "Guys, let's not harm the natives," said Matt, "Even if it is only the local livestock." The ponies were waking up at that and Matt was sure his heart stopped for a second when the orange one said "Who are you callin livestock?" Matt blinked before saying carefully, "Did that pony just talk." The pink one said "Cool...it talks." Matt just stared ahead at this, not moving even when one of the bots stabbed his foot experimentally. "You broke boss." it said in conclusion. "Well, it serves him right," said Rarity, "Thinking of us as just common animals." The drones all turned to look at Rarity at that while another scuttled down Matts arm and pulled his blaster out of his hand, chirping "You'll thank us in 5 seconds." "Uh, maybe we should go," said Fluttershy, who found this situation getting too creepy. "No..." said one of the drones. Another said "Nobody supposed to know boss is here..." while the drone that had caused them to fall down finished the sentence "...so boss decide...when he stop being catatonic." "Uh, maybe we should try to wake him up," said Twilight. "Uh uh...we do that." said the one on Matts arm, folding a tuning fork device out its top and electrocuting Matt, causing him to judder in place and come back to reality. "Uuuuugh...had the wierdest dream...there were talking..." he said before trailing off as he saw the six ponies. "...oh...that proves it...I'm obviously losing it." "Losing what? Did you lose a bracelet?" asked Pinkie Pie, "Because I remember one time I thought I lost a bracelet and I was so frantic and I searched everywhere and everywhere. But then I realized I was wearing it the whole time, now wasn't that silly?" Matt just stared, his pupils slowly shrinking "Please stop speaking, miss hallucination." he said in a distant voice, sure that small but significant sections of his brain were becoming unglued. "Like that's easy," said Rainbow Dash, "Pretty much the only time she's not talking is when she's eating and sometimes when she's sleeping." "Ok...why are you hallucinations here?" Matt said. "We are not hallucinations," said Twilight, "We're ponies." "Ponies don;t talk...maybe dragons do...but not ponies...I have to keep telling myself that." said Matt, more or less to himself. The spiderbots had just settled down to watch. The bosses nervous breakdowns were usually fun. "I guess he is a space alien," said Rainbow Dash. "What kinda world could he have come from where ponies don't talk?" said Applejack, "That's just plum crazy. Next he'll be sayin' that his sun and moon rise by themselves." Matt had wandered up to the open hatch and was grabbing something. "Ok...hallucinations...you have 10 seconds to prove you're real or this happens." he said, pulling out a rifle and shooting a rock which glowed before collapsing to ash, a manic look on Matts face. Pinkie was the first to react, saying “Cool...do it again." "Uh, maybe you should try to calm down a little first," said Twilight, nervously "Too much aggitation is bad for you." Matt looked around before saying “Yeah...true...true." before tossing the weapon back into his ship. The female voice spoke again "Sir...I have close range sensors back online...I do not believe you are hallucinating." "Aria, there are a bunch of talking, brightly-colored ponies here, two with horns, two with wings, how am I supposed to believe they're real?" said Matt. "Sir...I am a 15th generation A.I...I do not hallucinate...They are quite real." said Aria. "Well then, your sensors must be on the blink, but because there can't be any such thing as talking- WHOA!" The last part was added on account of Rainbow Dash suddenly charging into Matt and sending him flying into the side of the crater. Matt shook a few stars from his vision, muttering "I think my kidney exploded." getting up a bit unsteadily. The drones however were definately not happy. The drones turned to glare at the ponies, particularly Rainbow Dash. One of them said coldly "Goodbye." their lasers starting to charge before Matt said “Hold it..." The drones all turned to look at Matt who had gotten back up, a little unsteady. "Ok...you win...Hallucinations don't bruise ribs." The drones made a threatening clicking noise before scuttling back to their jobs, one blowing a raspberry at Rainbow Dash before following its fellows. Matt groaned a bit as he clicked his spine back in place. "So, are there any more of you...ponies here?" he asked. Pinkie pie said "Lots and lots. You should meet them. We could have a 'welcome, Mr alien' party and..." before Matt said to himself "Oh, not again." "Uh, I think he needs a little more time to settle," said Applejack. "Look...just...just keep this quiet. I didn’t even mean to land here...does this look like an intentional landing?" said Matt, pointing to his crashed ship. "International landing, what's that?" asked Pinkie Pie. Matt's eye twitched for a second. "Ok...translation: I crashed." he said, Aria muttering "Again." "Well anyone can see that," said Rainbow Dash, looking at the ship, "Don't you know how to fly?" "Lets see how well you fly while you're being shot at." said Matt under his breath. "Shot at? Who would shoot at you?" asked Fluttershy, a horrified tone in her voice. "Erm...I don’t think I should tell you tha..." began Matt before Aria said "A Exo gene cruiser known as the 'Icarus' under the command of Colonel Alan Darius is responcible." Matt glared at the ship and Aria said "Trust is both ways, sir." "Who is this ‘Exo Gene’?" asked Rarity, "It sounds dreadful." "Executive Genetics in the 3rd largest corpo..." began Aria before Matt muted her. "They're trouble...They're a bit upset at me cause I kinda shot up their operation and mae off with several important things." he said, deciding that maybe mentioning Nullspace was a good way for culture shock related chaos. "Uh, ya'll lost me after 'they're trouble'," said Applejack. Matt sighed and wondered what to say. "They're...big trouble...you probably don’t wanna know what they do." he said finally, saying under his breath "And if they catch me, I'll be lucky if they just kill me." "Oh, ok," Twilight said carefully, "I suppose you'll be here for a while then." Aria said "I estimate that repairs should be completed in 36 hours." Matt turned to the ponies "You heard her...a day and a half and I'm out of your lives." he said. "Aw...you can't leave without a party," said Pinkie Pie, sounding shocked at such a thing happening. Rarity said accusingly "And what about the gems your...spiders took?" Matt sighed "I probably won’t be popular and the ship needs gems for Aria to work...the one controlling the engine core broke...anyway...the spiderdrones said they found it. Shoulda known." he said. "And what about mah plough?" snapped Applejack. Matt glared at the bots who had the decency to look as embarrassed as a single red eye could. "I also should have suspected they were not just getting scrap metal when I found a saucepan yesterday." he said icily. "Yeah, they've been stealing all of the metal stuff in town," said Rainbow Dash. "Including my sewing tools," said Rarity. Matt doubled the glare at the spiderbots, one of who yelled "RUN AWAY!” all of them scattering. Matt sighed and went over to the pile of metal, looking through it. "Bad news...Might already be part of the hull." he said. "You can't just take our tools without asking," said Twilight. "I know," said Matt, "That's why I specifically told those stupid bots to get me only discarded metal that no one was using. Should have known better than to believe they'd stick to that." Matt looked at the bushes where red lights confirmed some of the bots were hiding before turning back. "I can only apologise..." he said before a boom was heard overhead. "Ooh, is that another meteor?" asked Pinkie Pie. Matt looked at a device on his wrist. "No...I didn’t see any meteors on the way in..." before Aria said “Danger...Exo Gene Starfalcon detected...bearing 2-5-4..." "What does that mean?" asked Applejack. Matt had picked up the rifle again and was checking something "It means trouble...big trouble. Aria...where's it coming down? Last thing we need is the pilot sending a S.O.S." he said. Matt pulled a small box and slammed it into the bottom of his rifle, the gun beeping. "Ok...lead the way." ... On a more isolated part of the Apple Family Farm, three young ponies were trotting along. "Ok, fire-walking is definitely not our special talent," said a slightly-scorched Sweetie Belle. "Why do you have to go and try any dag-nabbed tough activity, Scootaloo?" asked an equally-scorched Apple Bloom. "Hey, I don't want to get a cutie mark for anything wimpy," said Scootaloo, also burned. "Lets get back to the clubhouse....get an idea to..." began Scootaloo before the trio, not looking where they were going, fell into a small trench dug through the ground. "Where did this come from?" asked Sweetie Belle, looking around confused. "I don't remember any new trees being planted here," said Apple Bloom, looking at the long trenth dug into the ground. The trio were forced to scatter as a colt ran past them, heading down the trench, muttering something about 'not being possible' before vanishing. "What's his problem?" asked Scootaloo. "Don't know, don't recall ever seeing him before either," said Apple Bloom. A small column of white smoke could be seen coming from the direction the colt had ran from. "Hey...did that pony start a fire or something?" said Scootaloo. The group followed the trench up to see the damage and were surprised to see a metal ship of some kind crashed at the end of it, a strange motif painted on a tailfin. Scootaloo was first along “Cool. I wonder what this things for?” jumping up to peer through an opening in the top. Sweetie belle said nervously "Scootaloo. Be careful. We don;t even know what that thing does." peering at the motif, that for some reason unnerved her. The advice, however came late as the young pegasus overbalanced and fell into the ships cockpit. Scootaloo looked around the cockpit and saw various buttons, knobs, and other cool technological dohickies. A few screens could be seen flickering wildly, and red lights flashing madly. A small voice said "System impaired...Pilot missing...auto repairs 78% complete." "Ooh, neat..." said Scootaloo as she climbed up into the pilot's seat. "Unidentified user detected...scanning for profile...please stand by." said the voice, a light shining over Scootaloo before a buzzer sounded and the canopy shot shut. "Intruder detected. Dead mans Switch recall: activated." said the voice calmly. "Uh, I think I need to get out now," said Scootaloo nervously. "Denied." said the voice calmly. "Engine restart in 1 minute." Just then, the other ponies galloped onto the scene. "Apple Bloom!" called Applejack. "Sweetie Pie!" called Rarity. Matt trudged up the hill a few seconds later, panting and wheezing. "Smegging quadrapeds," he groaned. He stopped as he spotted the ship. "Stand away." he called, spotting the closed hatch and aiming the rifle at it before slowly heading towards it. "Gotcha, you scumbag." he said to himself before jumping back as Scootaloo soundlessly tried to buck the shatterpoof canopy. "GYAH...NOT THE PILOT!" he yelled, falling backwards. "Scootaloo, what are you doing in there?" called Rainbow Dash. Matt peered past her at the controls before hearing a whine starting. "Uh oh..." he said, spotting the words 'Engine restart E.T.A: 0:10' in splitter. "Ladies? We may wanna take a step away." he said, hearing a slow hum starting. "But we gotta get her out of there," said Rainbow Dash urgently. Matt looked at the engine Rainbow was hovering in front of before saying "Oh, smeg." and pushing the pegasus out the way as the engine roared into life, a burst of flame occupying where rainbow had been a second before. The ship started lifting off the ground, slowly, but rapidly gaining speed. Matt was up first, aiming and about to fire when Aria said via his wrist comp. "I would not do that...scanners indicate a plasma rupture...weapon fire will ignite the vapour and result in catastrophic damage." Matt looked at the wrist comp "Eh?" Aria gave a sigh and said "Ok...in merc speak...ship go boom." "Ok, so how would you rescue the flying filly from abduction?" asked Matt sarcastically. "The skyraid has sufficient speed to pursue the ship. Scans indicate damage to the fighters manoeuvring flaps. It will be forced to circle and carry out a slow ascent...I estimate 5 minutes until the ship leaves the breathable atmosphere." said Aria, showing a dotted line on the wrist comp. "Aren't you forgetting that the Skyraid is currently grounded?" snapped Matt. "Luckily, most systems are operational. Only the jump core is offline." said Aria. Matt sighed "Great...5 miles in five minutes." he said. "I could teleport you back," said Twilight, "It'll take off a lot of time." "That'll work." said Matt, before noticing some of the looks the others had. "What? Its not like I'll be..." before he and twilight vanished. ... The spiderbots were playing go fish against the navigational computer when Twilight and a badly singed Matt appeared behind them. "...burnt." rasped Matt. "Sorry, still working on that," said Twilight with an apologetic smile. Matt pointed at the spiderbots, all business suddenly. "You lot...get on...we have a ship to catch." before turning to Twilight. "Wish me luck...nobodies tried this before." he said manically cheerful before the hatch closed. ... Matt sat in the pilot seat "Ok...now be honest...are we gonna survive this?" he said. Aria said "I detect plasma ruptures to boosters 2 and 5...probably not." ... On board the starfalcon, the computer was trying to reassure its 'pilot'. "Do-do-do not wor-wor-wor sir, sla-sla-sla-sla condi-di-di-ditions are generallllllly kept at op-op-optimus condi-di-ditions until-til-til arrrrrrrrival," it stuttered. Scootaloo stared at the screen in confusion. "You sound like apple bloom after she had a muffin eating contest with Dinky." she said after a minute. The computer said "User 'Dinky' not reqognized...please try again." said the computer before a regular beeping began. "Warning...pursuit craft detected...unidentified IFF signal. Presuming hostile intent...arming rear cannons." "Huh? What?" Scootaloo looked out the window to see another flying machine coming towards her. The computer spoke again, apparently talking to the pursuer. "Unidentified ship. You are interfering in Executive Genetics business. Disengage or you will be destroyed. This is your only warning." "Exo Gene business, my...foot," came the reply, "Let the kid go and I won't scrap you." "Error: There is no 'child' on board. Warning has expired...targetting..." said the computer ... Matt managed to swing the Skyraid to the side as a hail of blue bolts shot out. "Ok...we can safely say the computers being effected by magi energy. Its diagnostics must be smegged up...why else would it shoot while its leaking?" he said. Matt swerved to avoid another salvo. "Agreed. Estimating a 92.6% chance it may self-ignite its leak." said Aria with cold Logic. "Weren't there two winged ponies back there?" asked Matt. "Yes, but we and the target are currently going faster than organics of their body-type can manage," replied Aria. Matt sighed "Well...pick it up...get me overhead...and EM that gun before..." he began before a line of flame ignited in the air, shooting towards the Starfalcons left engine. setting it alight. "...that happens." he finished. The starfalcons attempts at defence had ignited its plasma fuel leak...now it was a matter of time until it exploded. "Ok, scratch the EM part and double your focus on the first two parts," said Matt. "Increasing velocity to match. Danger...temperature in engine 2 is rising beyond safe parameters." said Aria, a schematic of the skyraid appearing with the mentioned engine flashing red. "Get me close enough to get in there," said Matt. "Sir...Are you planning what my programming predicts you are?" said Aria warningly. Matt said "Hey...when sensible fails...crazy works." Aria sighed as Matt switched on autopilot and walked back before saying "Thats what I am afraid of." ... "Danger...fire in engine 2. Core safeguards have failed." said the starfalcons computer. Scootaloo looked around nervously. She didn't know half of what the machine was saying, but it sounded increasingly bad. "Oh man, I gotta get out of here," she said looking around for a way out before a shadow fell across the sun and Scootaloo looked up to see the other ship was matching speed before a hatch in the bottom opened, a masked face and several red eyes peering down. "Just when I thought it couldn't get worse," said Scootaloo with a whimper. The masked figure gave a thumbs up before jumping down to behind the canopy with a clunk, a cable trailing behind him. ... Aria said in Matts link. "Right...you have officially gone insane, sir. If you fall from this height...you will be buried in a bucket...to quote a mercenary term...and how will you open the canopy?" Matt pulled a cylinder and activated a glowing blade. "I thought I;d use this..." he said. Matt stabbed into the canopy, as easily as one would have stabbed a soup can with a can opener. Matt cut open a large panel similarly, which was then immediately sucked away by the rushing wind. Unfortunately the panel also took Matt blade with it, the blade vanishing and the now deactivated device spinning away. "Oh...smeg." said Matt, his voice snatched away in the wind before looking down before looking up at the spiderbots and screaming, luckily in splitter "GET YOUR ROBO-ARACHNID ARSES DOWN HERE AND HELP!" The spiderbots seemed oddly skittish and inched slowly to the hatch. "You smegging toasters...down here now." screamed Matt. The spiderbots reluctantly started jumping out of the hatch and landing next to Matt. Matt grinned to himself behind his rebreather. "All you need is the right motivation...in this case, blackmail." he said to himself before peering into the cockpit. "Need a ride?" he said, unable to resist a smartarse comment. Scootaloo just screamed and hid behind a seat. "For smegs sake...I'm here to get you out of here." said Matt, rolling his eyes. "Re-really?" asked Scootaloo. "Mercs honour." said Matt, cheerfully, raising his mask for a second to show a friendly grin. "Now then...lets go." he added, holding out a hand. Scootaloo was hesitant, but she lifted up her front hoof to Matt. Matt lifted her out for a second before looking at two of the spiderbots. "Get her in the ship. I'm gonna make sure this mad jet doesn;t want pay..." before the ship shook, sending him sprawling for a second, only the tailfin stopping him falling...though the way he hit it probably made him wish it hadn't. Matt winced and only the knowledge of who was within hearing range prevented him from verbally expressing himself in a very crude (and high pitched) way. "Ready to go?" he said in a squeaking voice. "Sir...tractor clamps are losing integrity...something has cut the power lines." said Aria. Matt looked at the large cut, obviously where his ion blade had caught the ship. "Erm...I wonder what could have caused it?" he said innocently, before lifting Scootaloo into the Skyraid. However, as he was about to pull himself in, the 'ground' gave way as the skyraid lost its grip on the fighter. Fortunately, Matt was able to grab onto the hatch before he was left hanging. But considering it was a 9000 feet fall to the ground, Matt was understandably scared. Scootaloo covered her ears as Matt settled for the natural reaction to possible pancake-hood by screaming his head off until a spiderbot pulled his hat off and shoved it in his mouth. Matt glared at the offending spiderbot and said something that could have either meant 'Thank you, now pull me in' or 'Crank tunes for pony friend'. The spiderbots effortlessly pulled him in where he pulled his hat out. "Uh...I'm gonna dream about that...constantly." he said shakily before staggering over to the controls in time for the starfalcon to spiral away in front. "Sir...stand by for turbulence." said Aria. Matt looked confused till the shaking fighter exploded in front of the Skyraid. The spiderbots found this a rather entertaining spectacle, judging by their 'oohs' and 'awws'. What it did do was buffet the ship, badly. "Can all passengers please strap in?" said Matt, struggling with the controls as the dashboard lit up with warning lights before he turned to grin at Scootaloo. "Don;t worry...this happens all the time...I’m fine." adding the last thought a little overconfidently. ... Meanwhile, the ponies on the ground have been watching what was happening as best as they could. "I wish I had my telescope with me right now," said Twilight, nervously. The two dots had been together for a few minutes now. Finally one of the dots shot ahead of the other, spiralling erratically. "Uh, which flyin' contraption is that?" asked Apple Bloom. "Dang if I know," said Applejack, "Hope it ain't the one with Scootaloo on it." The first dot suddenly blossomed into a blue fireball, powerful enough for a translucent sphere of displaced air seen coming from it. "Whoa!" said Rainbow Dash, "Er, I mean, oh, I think we better get down." The other dot now had its own black tail. One of the spiderbots left behind twitched before its eye turned blue, the voice of Aria coming from it. "Hello? Is this working?" "Wow, ventriliquism," said Pinkie Pie, "I can do that too." She picked up a rock and made it say, "Look at me, I'm Rocky." However, her lips were very clearly moving. The spiderbot looked at Pinkie Pie and 'Rocky' before saying. "That was ventriliquism? My database must need updating...anyhow...I have good news and bad news for the one called 'Dash'." before the spiderbot twitched and Aria, speaking to something invisible said "Yes, I’m telling her." "Uh, that would be me," said Rainbow Dash. "The good news is that Miss...Scootaloo is alive and well." said Aria. "Oh, great," said Rainbow Dash with a sigh of relief, "And the bad news?" "Our ship has suffered severe damage from the starfalcons explosion so we will be landing 323% faster then safety parameters permit." said Aria. "Uh, does that mean it'll crash?" asked Rainbow Dash. "Probably...the spiderbots are attempting emergency repairs...but I think Mr Lynch may be stressed...listen." said Aria before transmitting a sound feed which consisted of ‘SMEGSMEGSMEGSMEGSMEGSMEGSMEG!!!’ "That certainly sounds like a 'falling-helplessly-to-my-doom' scream to me," said Rarity. "OH SMEG...WE'RE GONNA..." said the soundbyte before Aria cut it off. "Oh, ignore him...this isn;t his first crashlanding...or even his 10th." She said cheerfully. C'mon, Fluttershy," said Rainbow Dash, "They're gonna need all the air support they can get." "No...the ship weights 35 tons...don’t worry...Mr Lynch is a professional pi...hold on, he;s telling me to help him...Now sir...reall..." before the spiderbots eye turned back to red. "Gadaba?" it said to them. The dot however had stopped spiralling and appeared to be slowing. "Oh, good," said Fluttershy, "Maybe they won't crash." The ship slowed to a steady halt in a few dozen feet from the group and seemed like it would land safely...till the engines cut off just before it touched down. The hatch opened and Scootaloo hopped out. "Hey, that was fun," she said, "I ought to try that by myself when I can really fly." Matt staggered out after her. "I'm ready for my close up, sir." he said dizzzily before falling flat on the ground and yelling "Ground...wonderful solid ground." The spiderbots hopped after that, mostly onto Matt. "Why does the multiverse hate me?" said Matt, his voice muffled from laying face down. "Probably because you tend to spit in the face of the laws of physics and common sense," said Aria. "Silence, evil computer." said Matt, nastily, before pulling his face out the ground. "Matt did good?" he said, dizzily. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle trotted over to him. "You saved Scootaloo," said Apple Bloom. "You're a hero!" said Sweetie Belle. Matt said "Thats nice...me fall down now." before the stress of his day finally got on top of him and he keeled over. The ponies all looked worried at that before Aria said "Wait for it." And Matt started snoring gently. "There we go." said Aria. "You younguns better mosey along," said Applejack, "Heroes need a lot of rest." Aria said "So...I see a choice...what would you do with the captain? I predict a 45% chance he will be detained if revealed to local authorities." "Well, I think he needs time to...settle in and adjust," said Twilight, "He probably shouldn't need too much excitement." "True...He...likes his privacy. There is enough engine power to move the ship back to its previous location. Feel free to visit...I think Mr Lynch will be happy to know that there are people he can trust his...anonymity with." said Aria. "Ooh, ooh, can I throw him a welcome party now?" asked Pinkie Pie, hopping up and down. Aria sighed before addressing the others "Is she for real?" ... ‘...this thing working? Good. Personal Log...whatever day this is. This is definitely one of the weirder places I have...well, we can only call it a crash...and I’m the only one who made it. I shoulda known not to chase the Icarus again...but I got cocky...and it got people killed. Anyways on a lighter note, the planet I landed on appears to be populated by talking ponies. Yeah, I'm having trouble grasping that too. Not to mention they're all brightly-colored, some are unicorns, some are like Pegasus. It's almost something out of a little girl's fantasy world. The final smeg on my lunch? I almost wrecked my ship saving one of them. Worth it but Aria says it'll take a couple of months to repair the damage the damn fighter I was chasing did. Ah well, might as well get used to this. I’ll keep logs...if only to remind me I'm not going cuckoo...Lynch out